Bimillennial Man on misogynist parunting

http://davidjbatista.blogspot.com/2011/12/motherly-favoritism.html

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The Bimillennial Man
Hmmm, I've been wondering . . .

Why does it seem mothers proffer way more attention on their sons instead of their daughters? It's an observation I've been making among many of my real life and Facebook friends (not that FB isn't real life, but you know what I mean -- ha!). And yes, if you're a mother with both sons and daughters, I already know what you're going to say:

But, Batista, I love ALL my children EQUALLY! Blah, blah, blah.

Can it, okay? Because, let me tell you: that's sooooo not what I'm seeing! What I see on FB and the blog-o-spheres is a tendency of many mothers to baby the living hell out of their sons, meanwhile giving their daughters what they term a sense of "self dependence." Haha -- but we all know what that really means, right? It means: toughen up, little lady! Because your whole life will be nothing but you fighting for your rights and dignity, and sticking up to the cruel injustices the world inflicts on women.

Well, he's right.
GoldenPenis always gets babied by moo and there are plenty of examples.

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic fucking hatreds.”
— George Carlin

The few friends I have with kids don't really post a whole lot about them online and I'm not often around their kids, but from what little I've seen, neither the boys nor girls get more attention than the other. When I was a kid, both boys and girls alike were encouraged to be self-dependent and 'tough'.

The guy who wrote this is right. My mother would deny this with her dying breath but I did not get what my brothers got when we were kids.

Yeah and even when we are adults it goes on. The MILs are so worried that their golden son's wives are not treating them like they did, but the husbands of the daughters, meh whatever. Often moos are quick to blame their own daughters for any problems in their marriages but they would never blame the sons for any marital issues, it's always the DIL's fault.

Some women just don't like other women, even if they are their own offspring.

A lot of moos are jealous of any woman who steps into their son's lives. I was the recipiant of this jealously twice. First of all my MIL... and then my SIL when her adult son moved in with us for 7 months. I didnt even realize it at first but in hindsight it was very obvious that she was jealous because I was playing kind of a 'mother ' roll in his life. Okay, I was not his mother, nor did I want to be, but I was the 'lady of the house' that he was living in... so, in her mind it was a 'mother roll' and she got so weird over it. I was wondering 'what the heck is wrong with this woman'. Then I figured it out. Jealousy.

Its always sickening to see mothers passing on gender stereotypes to their innocent daughters through favoritism. No, wonder so many men grow up expecting women to worship at their feet. However, I was the oldest daughter and was always favored over my younger brother, though it may have to do with him turning out to be such a disappointing kid. In my family at least, the women are generally "better behaved" so their moos liked them better.

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starlady
A lot of moos are jealous of any woman who steps into their son's lives. I was the recipiant of this jealously twice. First of all my MIL... and then my SIL when her adult son moved in with us for 7 months. I didnt even realize it at first but in hindsight it was very obvious that she was jealous because I was playing kind of a 'mother ' roll in his life. Okay, I was not his mother, nor did I want to be, but I was the 'lady of the house' that he was living in... so, in her mind it was a 'mother roll' and she got so weird over it. I was wondering 'what the heck is wrong with this woman'. Then I figured it out. Jealousy.

You are absolutely right! A lot of women are jealous of their own daughters, as well, and are capable of being incredibly bitchy. I remember how my mother-- a remote, cold and fearful person-- used to make fun of my petite figure, small breasts and small hips. She spoke resentfully about having children and wished that she had only given birth to my big sister. Sad. On one occasion, when I was a teenager, mom refused to speak to me because I wore a pretty sweater. My mom's sister also is known for her tactless comments and for being passive-aggressive. She has several kids and gets to stay at home all day (her husband has a really good career) and, consequently, is overweight. I'm not judging, just pointing out the truth. We were shopping once at a boutique and I wanted to try on a pretty, old-fashioned dress. My aunt started laughing loudly and saying the dress would never fit somebody "flat", without curves. I already had low self-esteem, and felt completely embarrassed. It wasn't the words that were really too bad-- because I truly love being little and delicate. The knowledge that my mom and aunt were TRYING to be insulting was what felt so painful.
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I realize there is a lot of variation but a common system I see among moos is oldest daughter- golden, youngest son- golden. If there are just two kids, with an older girl and younger boy the gold dust can move around. Anyone else is a question mark, especially if they are girls.

It is this way in my family and my boyfriend's, also in several friends' families. I have a male friend who has just an older sister and despite being a holy screwup she is golden. Of course he is seen as a poor baby and no woman is good enough for him according to his mother. I'm sure if there were a middle or younger sister in that family she would be the scapegoat but if it were a male it would just be another one of mama's baby boys.

I think when a mother doesn't bond well with a son it can be particularly brutal. I can take my mother being the way she is, but I think my boyfriend would have a hard time if his mother was cold to him.

My own mother was a bitch from hell in this respect. I have two brothers, one older and one younger. Prince Dumbass and Prince Favorite could do no wrong and the "puss" as my mother called me, (not in a good way), could do no right. Clothing, hair and makeup were snarked on by moo until I stopped trying. When I was seventeen, my aunt suggested that my mother was jealous of me and the older I get the more I believe that. I had a freedom my mother will never know. At seventeen my mother had already had her first baby and was being told she couldn't go to dances or have dates because she was knocked up. At thirty three I still have the freedom my mother resented me for having. The funniest part about this is that moo expected me to take care of her in her old age. If I am called to deal with her at any point in time she will be in for a rude shock when I commit her to a psych ward and not look back.

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nautilus

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starlady
A lot of moos are jealous of any woman who steps into their son's lives. I was the recipiant of this jealously twice. First of all my MIL... and then my SIL when her adult son moved in with us for 7 months. I didnt even realize it at first but in hindsight it was very obvious that she was jealous because I was playing kind of a 'mother ' roll in his life. Okay, I was not his mother, nor did I want to be, but I was the 'lady of the house' that he was living in... so, in her mind it was a 'mother roll' and she got so weird over it. I was wondering 'what the heck is wrong with this woman'. Then I figured it out. Jealousy.

You are absolutely right! A lot of women are jealous of their own daughters, as well, and are capable of being incredibly bitchy. I remember how my mother-- a remote, cold and fearful person-- used to make fun of my petite figure, small breasts and small hips. She spoke resentfully about having children and wished that she had only given birth to my big sister. Sad. On one occasion, when I was a teenager, mom refused to speak to me because I wore a pretty sweater. My mom's sister also is known for her tactless comments and for being passive-aggressive. She has several kids and gets to stay at home all day (her husband has a really good career) and, consequently, is overweight. I'm not judging, just pointing out the truth. We were shopping once at a boutique and I wanted to try on a pretty, old-fashioned dress. My aunt started laughing loudly and saying the dress would never fit somebody "flat", without curves. I already had low self-esteem, and felt completely embarrassed. It wasn't the words that were really too bad-- because I truly love being little and delicate. The knowledge that my mom and aunt were TRYING to be insulting was what felt so painful.
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I'm the youngest of three daughters - my two oldest sisters are half-sisters, who shared the same duh. He turned out to be a bigamist with a famblee living in a different province. My mother found out about his antics after he gambled away the house and business....pahrunting makes you a better person indeed!
When I was really little, my moo cut off all my hair. I had gorgeous, straight, shiny dark hair that flowed all the way down to my lower back. One day, she just took a pair of scissors and cut it off. My aunt didn't speak to her for weeks after that.
She effectively turned me from a little girl, into looking like a boy.
When I reached my teens and blossomed, she became very jealous of my beauty. She would accuse me of being a prostitute and even went so far as to accuse my girlfriends of being hookers. The worst things we ever did were going to the coffee shop, drinking too much caffeine and hanging around the mall until closing. Hardly hooker activity.
One day she accused one of my friends of being a hooker, and my friend told her that if she said it once more, she would tell her parents. It was horribly embarrassing, but my friends knew I was in an abusive environment, and that I was nothing like my moo at all.
Moo jealousy is one reason they shun their daughters, I believe. Also, I have to agree with the writer here, that moos spend way too much time fawning and babying their sons, with extended titfeeding, cosleeping, worrying whether or not their noodles are growing correctly...etc. It's kind of creepy.
As for having a petite frame, I have a girlfriend who is like that. We are both very stylish women of the same age, but quite opposite in our appearance. She is tiny, brunette lady with very narrow hips and quite petite. She is absolutely beautiful, and looks great in almost everything she wears.
I am much taller, blonde (thanks to the magic of hair color) and curvier with nordic features, and she always compliments me on my looks and style. I think that if women stopped being so jealous and envious about what they perceived the other to have, we would get along so much better!

meh.

something tells me this duh is only writing this in order to seem progressive and get some play from ladies.

Yep. All truth above there. My own aged mother excuses any behaviour from my older brother (never calling her, not being financially responsible, etc) but I am criticized for every little thing. Also as a teen she always talked about how I looked fat (I never was), like a whore (not even close), or like a drug addict for wearing normal sunglasses etc. It took me years to figure out this was because she was thin, and movie-star-pretty until I was born late in her life, when she blew up like a balloon and lost her looks. Guess what? I'm the one taking care of her sorry ass now, and her Golden Sprog doesn't do shit.

The only thing worse than what he's talking about with the Moos is the "daddy's little girl" bullshit that always seems to border on incest, at least their commentary and actions seem that way. It's especially gross when they start comparing the she-brat to traits and characteristics it's Moo had when she was younger. "She looks JUST like her Moo when I first met her!", if she's 14 for instance. Since we all pretty much know he was physically attracted to the moo when they first met, these types of comments stir unwelcomed feelings in my gut when they say those types of things. Add in these "father-daughter" virgin balls and what not, and it's disgusting.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

There's something being pushed now called date night for duhs and daughters. It is seen as bonding time and the moo cannot be present. Duh is supposed to treat the princess to a nice dinner and maybe give her a gift. That sounds like a real date to me. Does he get anything at the end of the night?

I actually like the fact that when my famblee did stuff together it was the whole family. I didn't feel like I needed speshel private time with moo or duh, we did live together in the same fucking house and see each other every day.

There's a scene from the Cosby show that has stuck out and it's kind of disturbing: Denise Huxtable has just returned from abroad and she's a newlywed to a military man with a four-year old daughter. Dr. Huxtable and his new SIL are having a discussion in the kitchen and Dr. Huxtable essentially asks if his daughter was a virgin and is elated when SIL confirms that she was (exact words: "One of us was a virgin on our wedding night and I am the one with the daughter.")

That's so fucking creepy and I'd be more than a little pissed at the idea of my father and my new husband discussing my sexual history (or lack of one).

My older brother was allowed to do shit I was never allowed to do and many times I would even be "punished" for his actions (yep coming from a strict Roman Catholic family, scapegoating me was the national pastime. I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ, he was allowed to go to college far away in another state and I wasn't, he could get a good paying job, I was not allowed the same, I was the second class citizen, ad nauseum ad nauseum. I used to threaten to move to Iran where I'd be treated the same way but at least in a more honest manner.

And people wonder why I am not big on fambanutjob values.

Oh and voting? I don't even wanna fucking go there.

I'm an only child. I get the opportunity to be both golden child AND scapegoat - sometimes simultaneously.

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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blondie
There's something being pushed now called date night for duhs and daughters. It is seen as bonding time and the moo cannot be present. Duh is supposed to treat the princess to a nice dinner and maybe give her a gift. That sounds like a real date to me. Does he get anything at the end of the night?

Fucking creepy.

This, along with the "purity ball" nonsense is definitely a sign that this "Daddy's Girl" bullshit has gone too damn far. What the fuck is it with our society's and the media's romantic view of grown men and little girls anyway? Society loves to smoosh the duh and his manipulative little princess together while driving a spiky wedge between the daughter and the moo.

A lot of the time, it's the moos themselves who are responsible for this so they can deviate from the "annoyance" and "boredom" of parenting a child of the same gender. No wonder the mother-daughter relationship is a smoking trainwreck in general.

I have two brothers and a sister. I'm the second child and my sister is the youngest. Both myself and my sister got sick of my mother's insane nonsense, and cut her off years ago. Both my brothers are still friendly with her because she was fine with them.

It was my grandmother who pointed out that my mother was jealous of me, before then I just couldn't work out why she had such a problem with me.

In my family, it was my sister who was the one on the pedestal being allowed to get away with all sorts of things because "she's a girl." My sister was the one who could do no wrong in fact, my mother once said "It's always the boys that cause trouble not the girls." It blew up my parents' faces one day and they were so devastated over it, yet I felt no sympathy at all.

JD

My mother has never been jealous of me. She encourages me to date, wear make-up, have a variety of shoes, and wear cute clothes. She isn't the type to get jealous in the first place, though. She keeps fit (we always work out together), wears nice clothing, and styles her hair nicely. I don't find myself to be that bad looking, so it's not that she thinks I'm ugly, either. I have absolutely no problem finding dates, and am hit on very, very, very often.

I don't think I could deal with a mother who acted jealous towards me. Overall, I don't think gender discrimination is a big thing in my family. I was always fawned over for being the oldest girl, but I'm positive that would have ended if I didn't end up being the more..."intelligent" one of my siblings. My parents recognize how much my older brothers fucked up, and realize what a brat my younger sister is. So they're honest.

The ironic thing about my fambuhweird - I'm married and my older brother is virtually unmarriageable. He has multiple girlfriends, has been told he will be disowned if he ever impigs a woman, and cannot have an emotionally sustainable with a woman. He uses them - has them cook meals for him, stays overnight in their homes, then dumps them. I suspect his bimbos lose all faith in men after being with him. I worry like hell about him.

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starlady
A lot of moos are jealous of any woman who steps into their son's lives. I was the recipiant of this jealously twice. First of all my MIL... and then my SIL when her adult son moved in with us for 7 months. I didnt even realize it at first but in hindsight it was very obvious that she was jealous because I was playing kind of a 'mother ' roll in his life. Okay, I was not his mother, nor did I want to be, but I was the 'lady of the house' that he was living in... so, in her mind it was a 'mother roll' and she got so weird over it. I was wondering 'what the heck is wrong with this woman'. Then I figured it out. Jealousy.

Starlady, if I could buy you a drink I so would! My mother is still having issues with me having a serious girlfriend, while HER parents like me a lot and my dad is so kind he practically treats Sally like another daughter.

And here I thought only girls had to deal with overprotective parents...