Four bingos and a funeral

Mr. Hannigan's mom has sadly passed on, and that means tons of relatives coming to visit. And along with the old church-going biddies come the bingos. I had at least four conversations that went like this.

'How many children do you have?"

"Zero"

"Oh, you need to start now. I want to see your pretty babies."

But the absolute worst came at the post-funeral lunch. His uncle sat down front of me, talking to Mr. Hannigan's father in another language that I couldn't understand. I was also sitting next to Mr. H's cousin, a very nice college student who is bilingual.

After the lunch, the bilingual cousin told me that Mr. H's uncle was asking his father how old I was, and why wasn't I procreating. The father said it was my decision to not have kids. The uncle said that Mr. H needs to "be a man" and get me pregnant. He said further that Mr. H needs to find another wife if I won't fulfill my womanly duty.

I am disgusted that I'm avoiding visiting with the family today. I do love his younger cousins but the elders are so judgemental. Life is too short to deal with people who do not love and support me for who I am.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

I am sorry for your loss.
Being treated as nothing more than a uterus is degrading and wrong. I would avoid the family too.

Also... sorry for your loss.

What awful, old fashioned thinking. 'Wanna see your prettty baybeeees" My mother used to say crap like that to me. Then that "be a man an get her preggo" WTF??
Oh and it used to be...back in the day... that if you didn't want baybees you were to remain a spinster. Stupid thinking.
What a bunch of crap for you to go through on top of your grief. (((hugs)))

Sorry for your loss

Whether people consciously plan it or not, funerals are usually given some regard as family reunions, as well. You'd think that the focus would be on the loss, and supporting the bereaved, but some people just can't mind their own effin' business and regard the event as a chance to pick on and judge other family members.

Just out of curiosity, did your FIL take up for you? I'd be a little pissy if his words were "you" aren't having kids and not "my son and his wife have decided to not have kids". I'm guessing that his mind was elsewhere, but that was a really rude way for his DIL to be treated.

I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact that you were treated like a damn uterus. People can be so amazingly unpolite! I know how it feels because i have also been bingoed at a funeral, not that bad though...but still, funerals are very inapropriate events to talk about smb's reproductive choices.

It's a good thing to avoid these people, if they can't respect you as a person then they don't deserve your attention.

Since i didn't hear the conversation, I don't know if my FIL pinned the blame on me or not, however he has never asked us about grandchildren, and my deceased MIL never bingoed me either.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Condolences on your husband's and your loss. Sorry about the bingos.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

i'm sorry you & mr. hannigan had to deal with that crap, especially at such a sensitive time. who bingos people at a funeral?

i hope your day is better today.

:bal

Thanks all. I wasn't looking for hugs or validation but they are much appreciated. It's gonna be a few weeks before I stop hoping we get hit by a firey asteroid that ends all human life on earth.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

How inappropiate, given the circumstances. I mean, it's not like it's ever considered appropiate to say things like that, but especially disgusting when it goes on (repeatedly) during a time when you should all be honoring the memory of Mr. H's mother.

I get the same thing from my friend. "Oh, you and DF would have such cool, good-looking babies!" :headbrick

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Very sorry to hear of this all

Hang in there.

It was also incredibly tacky for that man to say that shit in front of you knowing you don't speak the language. I bet he thought that the bilingual cousin would sympathize with his position and not tell you what was being said. It was also disrespectful to your husband, AND last but not least, to the deceased.

Sincerely,

- Capt. Obvious

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Condolences.

I've had people tell me I should dump my wife and find a younger woman to have kids. For some reason they now avoid me like the plague.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

I'm sorry to hear of your loss too, Miss_H. And that some of your relatives were being complete dickholes at a funeral.

I love how this uncle talks about your DH needing to be a man, meanwhile he has to hide behind a language barrier to talk shit about you rather than saying it to your face.

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The uncle said that Mr. H needs to "be a man" and get me pregnant.

This reads like he thinks Mr. H should do so against your will. That is downright rapey. How disgusting.

Also, ditto what Cambion said.

My condolences, Miss H. Sorry you had to deal with insensitive douchebags. Chutzpah never seems to be in short supply in this world.....:mad2

My condolences to you and Mr. Hannigan for your loss.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that particular bingo asshattery as well.

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Cambion
I love how this uncle talks about your DH needing to be a man, meanwhile he has to hide behind a language barrier to talk shit about you rather than saying it to your face.

Shame you won't see him again any time soon. How much fun would it be to march up to him, tell him you didn't appreciate his commentary on your life choices, and say 'oh, didn't you know I spoke ....?'

Age and language barriers are no excuse for being so disrespectful. As someone who's had to face the same BS from a bunch of fossils at family reunions, I can absolutely sympathize.

This behavior is rude as hell and inexcusable. Thankfully, you probably won't have to see them again anytime soon.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

So sorry for your loss. How insensitive of these people! Hope you and Mr. H are doing okay..It is a difficult & painful enough time without having to deal with other people's nonsense.

My condolences to you and Mr. Hannigan. I find it so incredibly disrespectful that people would have the nerve to bingo you at your FIL's funeral! People's rudeness never ceases to amaze me. :mad2

The comments about Mr. H needing to be a man and knock you up is just downright mean. Suggesting that you haven't fulfilled your womanly duty is outright tacky. I'm sorry you had to go through that at an already difficult time.

Sorry about your hubby's dad. You guys hang in there.

The bingoes never cease do they?

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He said further that Mr. H needs to find another wife if I won't fulfill my womanly duty.

At a funeral? :hardcoremob:flaming

FUCK YOU, BREEDERS!!!

I am so terribly sorry that you had to deal with that.

My best to you and the husband during your hard time. I hope you find peace in the coming days. As for the bingos...how tacky to do that at such a hard time! It's bad enough to deal with it on a normal day, but to deal with that THEN? Sheesh.

I am sorry for your loss and don't mind saying, the behavior from those people you mentioned was totally out of line at such a solemn event.