Lil' Twirler?

My fellow CFers, you must assist me with this one.

Just in: kid dies after crawling into a top-loading washer. Moommy just "happened" to leave the lid open, and was reading a book in the living room (reading a book? not likely) and the spawn crawled up on the bathtub and into the washer and offed itself. Apparently Moomy had to get a neighbor to help her remove the kid and attempt CPR. I wonder how long that took?

I predict a rash of kids dying via washing machine.

Let me know if you can think of an appropriate moniker for this new and ingenious post-natal abortion method. Little Rinse Cycle? Lil' Spinner?

I don't think there will be a rash of these. Because this shit happened so often back in the '80s, most modern washer/dryers are all childproofed to prevent this and children getting their arms ripped off because the lid can be opened during the spin cycle.

Spectacular Spinning Sprogs?




Of course moo just "happened" to "accidentally" leave the machine door open. When I hear about these cases, my bullshit detector rings every time.

Moo was reading a book??? Yeah, riiiggghhht. I'd lay odds moo never learned to read. At least it's a creative post natal abortion.

How could a kid even fit into a top-loading washer? My six-pound cat climbed in one once and I had a hell of a time getting her back out. A kid small enough to get in there would be too young to scale the washer in the first place. Then again, toddlers manage to climb into claw machines via the prize chute, so you never fuckin' know.

But a kid that can is left alone long enough to climb a washing machine, climb into it and figure out how to turn it on, especially with how everything is child-proofed on the assembly line? Yeah, no accidents here. Just murder. But hey, if you're a Moo, you just gotta cry some fake tears to the news and you're off the hook.

That must be an old machine. Don't they all stop when you open the lid? How could it be running with the lid open? I don't believe Bratford turned it on and then climbed inside. This story stinks to high heaven, but you gotta give the moo props for creativity.

Perma-Press Pussy Pop?
Li'l Swirlie?
Li'l Spin Cycle?
Laundered Loaf?

ew. what a horrible death...IMO, this is even worse than lil sizzler and lil floaters.

Li'l Lost Socks?

Edit: Little Boy Tossed?

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michaela

"A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt, will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter." -Jonathan Swift, A Modest Proposal

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mumofsixbirds
Perma-Press Pussy Pop?
Li'l Swirlie?
Li'l Spin Cycle?
Laundered Loaf?

I like Perma-Press Pussy Pop!!! Let's go with that one!!!!

larious

I was thinking li'l Downy Syndrome.

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Sorceress
That must be an old machine. Don't they all stop when you open the lid? How could it be running with the lid open?

My Kenmore washer from 1982 stopped spinning when you opened the lid, so I imagine this was an industry standard at that time. However, if one was clever enough to know what corner of the lid well to push down on to activate the switch, it WAS possible to keep the drum spinning when the lid was open. I don't think it's likely that a kid would know that, though.

The switch to stop the spinning when the lid was opened failed on a washer I had a few years ago, making the machine inoperative, so I took the controls area apart and bypassed the switch. This meant that the spinning continued with the lid opened. Don't try this at home. But this is unusual, and most people wouldn't go to this length to keep the washer working.

Therefore: I smell a rat. Reminds me of the recent posts about the methhead moo in Oklahoma whose days-old infant died in the washer. Small children don't get in a top-loader by themselves.

Just recently two young kids fell out of a second story window near where I live. It is an apartment that, while they have windows that were childproofed, the latches were broken, and the parents didn't know this.

It could be the same here.

That said, the age of that kid is when they need to be watched like hawks.