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At 55, I suddenly want kids

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Anonymous User
At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Jeez, they're all coming out of the woodwork this week. Another winner of a thread from a normally sane forum:

Quote

But it's too late. Yesterday I found myself among a crowd of people, some friends & their family & relatives & all I could feel was this aching loneliness. Something has been missing for a long time.

I'm learning that friends aren't the answer. Married for 12+ years & it's not enough. I think I figured it out. I never had kids. I am nobody's dad.

I spent the first 40 years of my life thinking about me. My survival, finding who I am, learning to accept myself, healing my childhood scars, finding & keeping a job, finding my soulmate. Finally got all I wanted. The struggle has been over now for several years. There was no time or money for kids, now there is. My wife desperately wanted kids & we tried for years. I didn't care, I just enjoyed the constant sex. But, no kids. I took a test, the doctor said I'm "making swimmers". She took a fertility test, no problems. We tried to adopt but at our age we have to be rich. I didn't want kids with my first wife because she would have been a horrible mother.

I hear so many people my age talk about their kids. Or grandkids. It's their life! It's what they live for! I'm tired of living for ME. I wonder what it would have been like to raise a son or daughter & have their unconditional love. And feel good for bringing someone into this world to enjoy life & have kids of their own. Just 1 or 2, no more. That I think, is what has been missing in my life since I was maybe 45 or so. I'm not a dad. And I can get away from ME long enough now to think about others for once. I almost wish some girl would ring my doorbell & say "Hey! I've been looking for you! You knocked me up in 199X & here's your kid!" : )

What ticks me off: So many kids looking for parents & here I am. But I'm old & not rich. Debt free home owner with a nice retirement in 5 years but that's not good enough for the adoption agencies! How sick is that?! Pay $50,000 & they'll find you a kid. It's a business. But to the kid, you're A FAMILY! My wife grew up dirt poor. 10 kids (too many, really) fighting over food scraps & one toy. She still has a scar over her eye from one brother & she was a meak & shy child) That wouldn't happen in my house! I know kids are a lot of work. But I've never heard a parent tell me they regretted having their kids.

Anyway, my rant for the day. Maybe there's a support group for kidless married adults! Kidding, sort of. I finally feel my wife's pain. She's cried herself to sleep for years about us not being parents. Anyway, I'm done with my longest rant since I became a member in 2009.
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Miss_Hannigan
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
"I wonder what it would have been like to raise a son or daughter & have their unconditional love."

Poor, deluded sap. He dodged the biggest bullet imaginable and he's still grouchy.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny
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pepper labeija
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Boo hoo! Wanna-duh feels left out and instead of being happy that he's looking at retirement with actual savings in place he whines about never siring a parasite that would probably keep him working until after he's in the grave :Violin
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randomcfchick
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
From what he said, it sounds like focusing on himself was a good idea...that he had stuff to get over and figure out. He would have been a shitty parent if he'd been trying to sort out childhood traumas and figure out who the hell he was. Those are not things you figure out in a couple of days. Or a couple of years. And he was smart for not having kids with his first wife, as he admits she would have been a rotten parent.

Sounds to me like he did the right things, but is sad now that it couldn't include the kind of life his friends had. I think he made the right choices!
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kidlesskim
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Sounds like he's nearing the end of his career mode and is looking to retirement and NOW he's all lonely, bored, regretful, and jealous of his friends who have grandbrat Kodak moments. If he's as well off as he claims to be and REALLY wants a brat, he could easily buy for about 25k from Argentina or China or he could locate a white trash girl and pay her for her hatchling under the guise of a private adoption. I know several people who bought kids, only it's not called that but it absolutely is what it is. That part about wishing some long lost grown loaf would show up on his doorstep is preposterous. For me and/or MY husband, that kinda shit would be the thing of nightmares which even Stephen King couldn't do justice :hs

At least he's being paid back for his complete selfishness as far as his callous reaction to his wife's past suffering.shrug

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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thundergirl85 NLI
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Don't these people ever think about things like mentoring kids who need guidance, or building homes for homeless people, or going abroad and teaching kids in third-world countries how to read and have job skills so they can better their lives and communities?

It's like they believe that you have to either 1) live only for your own self and be absorbed, or 2) have kids and become enlightened, giving and selfless. No other ways to do it.
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gwdzee
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
While I agree with the stupidity regarding adoption in the US, the rest of it was immature bitching and whining.

I mean, the part where he said back when he and wife were 'trying', he wasn't really interested in kids, he was just enjoying the constant sex? Where's that damn I was going to give? Gone!
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Zzelda
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Go volunteer. Tired of thinking about yourself? Volunteer.

"Big Brothers".

HELLO!
smile rolling left righteyes2

This guy is just ticking off boxes on the Life Script template. He just didn't do certain things soon enough. Or rolled the infertile dice.

I know it's true because he clearly cannot think outside of the box, cannot even think of the easiest solution which would be to volunteer.

Oh and if he's so tired of 'thinking about himself' - why's he throwing himself a pity party then?

What a tool.
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randomcfchick
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Oh, another thing: wishing for a long-lost illegitimate kid to show up on his doorstep is stupid...if it happened in the 90s, that kid would be teen or young adult age, would have grown up without him, and would not relate to him in the "dad" way he wants. At the very least, the kid would be neutral. But there's the very real possibility that he would have a very, very angry young person on his doorstep, wondering why he'd abandoned them. He'd be puppy-dogging after them, begging for acceptance. Sad and pathetic. Also likely would be that his offspring would have been raised by another man, as its mother might have remarried. I wonder what he'd think of a kid who viewed him with idle curiosity, but turned to another man as "dad"? He seems like one who wouldn't be able to handle that blow to the ego.
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blondie
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
What a fucking loser. Maybe he has an aching in his uterus.
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law
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
If he couldn't figure out how to get someone knocked up earlier in life, he's too stupid to be breeding.

ALWAYS, ALWAYS that "something is missing in my life" feeling has to be filled by a baybee.

WTF is that?
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Miss_Hannigan
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
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blondie
What a fucking loser. Maybe he has an aching in his uterus.

waving hellolarious Next he'll be shoe shopping and watching Lifetime.

--------------------
"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny
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kidlesskim
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
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Miss_Hannigan
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blondie
What a fucking loser. Maybe he has an aching in his uterus.

waving hellolarious Next he'll be shoe shopping and watching Lifetime.


Yeah, makes me wonder what other little secrets the man with Moobs may have.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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cfbitchfromla
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Why can't he stick to internet porn like all of the other degenerate wannaduhds his age?
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PeaceNLI
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
This guy wants unconditional love? Get a dog.
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kman
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
" I wonder what it would have been like to raise a son or daughter & have their unconditional love."

"Unconditional love"? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh. Sorry. K-Man's just in that kind of mood.
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blondie
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
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cfbitchfromla
Why can't he stick to internet porn like all of the other degenerate wannaduhds his age?

I guess he doesn't want the "constant sex" anymore. It makes me sick because some of these oversexed guys hit later middle age and they become whiny, boring, and start acting like hens because they lose their sex drive. It's like if they don't have that they can't still be a guy, they have to turn into an old nag. Now is the time in his life he can take the time to explore all kinds of things to do but no, he's too fucking lazy and boring, he wants someone else to live through. It's not living "for", it's living "through" because they don't like themselves very much if you are so dependent on someone else for self worth.
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Banshee
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Sounds like his perfect fantasy life is not complete yet. smile rolling left righteyes2
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felisdomestica
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
meh, breeders will always be breeders...
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kman
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Somehow reminds me of this one:


h t t p://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com/2007/07/50-year-old-spinster-wants-husband-atm.html

30.7.07

50 year old spinster wants a husband (ATM) and babies......

Desperation setting in ?

Have a look at this blog by a 50 year old spinster desperately trying to find a mate and still wants to have babies, babies and more babies...

Is she dreaming or what, what was it doing 20 years ago when that bell was continually banging inside it's head telling her "time is up you dumb bitch, babies now, not when your fifty".

Well, some learn slower that even the slowest..

Skank even gets fussy, here it is at 50 and it's still trying for the millionaire, just like all the rest of that sex...stand in line behind the 20 year olds.

Eli says...

"This broad is fifty and she has higher standards then most young women. You guys are right about how when women get older their standards get higher.

"...I am literally in awe of her insanity. No bullshit. If I had not met so many crazy hos I would not believe that this was real."

She says this.

"I always dreamed of having a husband and children. When I turned 50, I realized that my dream was never going to come true. Now I'm just a lonely old woman."

I, like everyone else here thinks that this must be a parody site as no-one can be this stupid, inconsiderate and self-focussed....I forgot which sex I was talking about for a minute.

I'll get the violin out for the next comment..

"The clock is ticking. My body is aging rapidly now. Men are visual. I’m losing my looks and any chance I might have of attracting a man. And there is the problem of children. I want babies so badly. And the longer it takes for me to find someone and marry, the less chance I have of actually being able to conceive, carry and deliver a healthy child. And I want more than one. I have their names picked out. Even the themes of their nurseries."

Looking for a suitable ATM can be tiring and one does have to have standards to maintain even when your over the hill and down the other side.

So it receives a response from a sucker, I mean a guy...

"I live in [town] outside of [town] Pa. I live alone except for my Australian Shepherd.(check out her picture). I have a great property on 65 acres in the Mountains. (Beautiful Log Cabin with a great stone Fireplace). Makes a great Weekend getaway. My friends call it the Ponderosa. I bought it for Horses but never I got around around to buying them.

"I'm a programmer. I own a small software company that writes graphic software mostly for newspapers. I could really relocate anywhere because I could work from home also.

"I also have a degree in History/ political science as well as computer science. I taught high school for a few years also. I like reading Autobiographies, Historical books and historical based Novels. I just finished "1776" by David McCullogh. Like jazz & NPR.

"I love to bike & tend to do long trips. We have some rail to trail bike/horse paths in this area.

"If you are interested in chatting you can drop me a line.

"The tux picture was taken a year ago Christmas at the royal Bahamian Policeman's Ball in Nassau Bahamas. I was the guest of the Publisher of the Nassau Guardian and The Commissioner of Police. A very cool affair.
[Name]
"Hope to hear from you “

Now one would think that this rabid nonentity would brave oceans and climb mountains to even receive this type of response. This guy is classy, rich, intelligent and willing to move anywhere for this bitch and guess what ?

She refuses to even contemplate it as....

"He’s 5’ 8” tall."

Nonentity says...

"I'm beginning to wonder if anyone actually reads all the way down to the bottom of my profile where I state my preferences about the men I would like to date. It very clearly says that I am looking for men who are a minimum of 6' tall. As stated in my profile, I am 5' 7" tall and like most women I love to wear heels. I DO NOT love towering over my dates. I am looking for a man that I can look up to both literally and figuratively."

I am happy that no guys are available for these women and they have been spared the divorce payouts and years of slavery....
Scribe.. Christian J. on Monday, July 30, 2007
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StudioFiftyFour
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
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thundergirl85 NLI
Don't these people ever think about things like mentoring kids who need guidance, or building homes for homeless people, or going abroad and teaching kids in third-world countries how to read and have job skills so they can better their lives and communities?

It's like they believe that you have to either 1) live only for your own self and be absorbed, or 2) have kids and become enlightened, giving and selfless. No other ways to do it.


The answer to your questions is *no.*

Mentoring, providing professional (or even amateur) guidance, and teaching all require a degree of patience and the ability to be creative, answer questions, and provide justification for your answers and/or advice. Because older kids typically see right through bullshit, and you've got to be able to rationalize why you are directing them the way you are.

Secondly there is little societal admiration with doing any of the above. The reward is completely internal. When you're seeking society's approval and admiration, this isn't how you get it.
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Zzelda
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
k-man ~

DAMN! What a nasty delusional fool that woman is!

And she dismisses a guy because of his height? No wonder she's single.

Geezer Breeders should start up their own dating site.
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Techie
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
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Zelda
Geezer Breeders should start up their own dating site.

I have not looked at any dating sites as of recently, but I think just about every dating site has geezer breeders on it. Breeders, of all ages, are on every possible dating site that there is. Even if a dating site was created that strictly and clearly specified that CF only people are allowed, rule would be twisted and broken up like a stick of dry spaghetti. "Used to be CF" would show up, then "but kids are grown and out of the house", then "but the chyldryn don't live with me" then straight up wanna breeds show up, followed by pure breeders. All that would be followed by demands to make the site pahrunt friendly.
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satansbitch
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
I'd like to give this idiot the same pearl of wisdom I would now hand any other childLESS idiot. Take yourself to the nearest humane society and bottle feed something. Want dog like devotion? Get a dog!!! If I end up whining that way in my old age I hope to Goddess someone has the decency to put a bullet in my head.
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Techie
Re: At 55, I suddenly want kids
April 03, 2012
Quote

There was no time or money for kids, now there is.

The reason you have any money now is because you did not have your kids colleges to pay for, your kids cars to buy, your kids weddings to pay for, and, if kids did not find their jobs, you would be supporting them still.

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I wonder what it would have been like to raise a son or daughter & have their unconditional love
.

I wonder what would that be like too, to see a human being able to ever offer unconditional love. Dumbass, give it up. I have news for you. Humans do not give unconditional love. And, if they are your kids, love is directly tied to money. You stop giving up the cash, you stop to matter.

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Debt free home owner with a nice retirement in 5 years but that's not good enough for the adoption agencies!

No, you are not good enough for adoption agencies. And, if you got your head out of your ass, you would come to understand that you are not good enough to fully financially support kids either, you would need way more money than you got.


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My survival, finding who I am, learning to accept myself, healing my childhood scars, finding & keeping a job, finding my soulmate.
And feel good for bringing someone into this world to enjoy life & have kids of their own.

Dumbass, a selfish one, at that. Are you paying any attention to what are you saying? You had a crap of a childhood. I do not care what you say, if you have your own kids, you are going to give them hell on earth - history repeats itself, over and over. The only way to stop it is not to have your own kids. Some of the bad parenting is learned but most of it is in your DNA - you are not fooling anyone. You, as a parent, WILL NOT do a better job than your parents did. Anything else is a myth.

Now, join a sobriety program and stop taking the drugs or get off your high horse. You suck ass, just like your parents did. The sooner you understand it, the better off you will be.
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