Oh shit...(family rant)

Hi all...I'm a new poster on the board. I am 17 and CF for LIFE. I live in Florida and have a younger sister "Michi" who is starting to share my beliefs.

Anyway, my mom and dad got a call. My dad's sister "Rondi" is coming down for Christmas hols with her two girls, "Bethany" and "Dannika". Well, this makes me go "oh crap" for a few reasons:

1) "Dannika" is an annoying 13-year-old. I had to visit them this summer and sleep on the hide-a-bed with "Dannika". If I rolled even a millimeter onto HER space, she would elbow me--HARD--right where it hurts. She also screams at me if I change the channel from Disney or High School Musical. "Bethany" is wonderful, and "Michi" and I love her. But "Dannika"--uh-uh.

2) I'm going to have to buy christmas presents for 3 more people. I am normally a very generous girl, but don't you think my aunt in the hospital deserves a porcelain doll more than an ungrateful 13-year-old brat?

3) "Michi" and I are going to have to give up our room. "Dannika" can run up a phone bill--she's gonna want to call all her damn cross-country team friends, get on my computer and (hopefully NOT) stumble across my "for 16-and-up" websites (!ygallery, aff and MMSA), and generally trash our room. I am keeping my Nintendo DS Lite, though, and hiding it well so "Michi" and I can have SOMETHING to keep us from being bored...

4) My parents are going to force us to entertain "Dannika", "Rondi" and "Bethany". Listen, just because "Michi" can play a damn good violin and I can play the piano doesn't mean we have to be trained poodles for "the guests"...

Please wish me and "Michi" luck, you guys...I'm worried that this is going to be "holiday hell". I'm not trying to be selfish about anything, but I'm just worried...

Welcome, Sister Floridian!

I knew at a young age that I wanted no kids, too. I was about 7 or 8...maybe younger. By the time I hit age 10, I hated playing with baby dolls. Anytime I played "house" with other friends, I was always the cool woman with no kids. The woman who babysat me and the other neighbourhood sprogs was really annoyed with my character.

I am fortunate to come from the world's smallest family. I have no siblings other than two stepbrothers. My mom and stepdad got together when I was 17 and the "boys" were a little older. No problems with them for attention or other lunacy. Stepbro #1 and Wifey had a baby but I can care less since he changed after marrying the pedigreed woman aka "proper woman from a 'good' aka money'd family".

I have cousins in Africa, when my uncle and his wife moved over there in the 1970's as he was ahead in the tech world. Nigeria and South Africa had opportunity for him and other relatives from Europe and America for contractors and technical people. I have not seen the cousins since 1974 which is fine by me.

I did connect with my uncle in 1999 but that fizzled out after the initial nirvana as my life accomplishments were not acknowleged...okay...I was sort of attention wh*ring after a promotion...but was only flooded with stories of weddings and pregancies. His overseas call was cool that night so many years ago but the thrill wore off on his end.

Remain firm in the childfree lifestyle. Sure, people will say you will change your mind as 17 is considered "too young" while an 18/year-old will be thrown a huge wedding -- another social rite I despise -- and then get the "congrats" when she has that honeymoon pregnancy.

Okay...enough out of me...

:smoke

Welcome to the "wonderful" world of being childfree. It is indeed wonderous to not have to give yourself, your interests and hobbies up to bring some squaling, thankless, brats into the world. Unfortunately, most other people have wholeheartedly bought into the "lifescript" (tm), and will find your choices anywhere from baffling to a direct assault on their lifestyles. You will be considered uppity, selfish, hateful and potentially insane, if you state your beliefs and life choices to the childed. Fortunately, you will eventually be able to live on your own, do your own thing, and be much, much happier for it.

I would strongly recommend boxing up anything you don't want trashed, including the phone, video game systems and other personal items, and storing them in the basement, garage, or other place most 13 year old girls wouldn't dare go. Trust me, she will toss your room at the first opportunity. I don't know how to do this, but I know it is possible to put a password on your computer which would make it difficult, if not impossible, for her to be able to access personal files or even use the computer. If you do have to "entertain" her, only do the most dull things, possibly you could suggest reading the business section of the newspaper, or listening to public radio together. If she thinks she's one of the "cool kids" then act like a big geek, and she'll avoid you like the plague. Working on my pretty fresh memories of the hell that is puberty, I can tell you that 13 year olds are pretty easily manipulated into going away, and leaving you alone, if you are too boring or too weird.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Also, you could whip out the math books, or my personal favorite, The Bible. Read her some scripture- I guarantee she'll go away. It works for me ALL THE TIME!!!

Welcome to the wonderful world of childfree! I was a late bloomer. I guess I just assumed that children were a given. Hubby and I married when I was 22. At the age of 24 I had a false pregnancy. They were so sure at the hospital that I was pregnant I actually had an ultrasoud.

Our less-than-enthusiastic response to that scare finally opened our eyes and now, at the ancient age of 41, we are both getting to act like newlyweds, or even singles!

I had a ton of cousins, but never saw them very often. I guess that is why I can still say I like probably 17 of the 19 of them. And I am with you on the extra Christmas shopping...what a colossal WASTE OF TIME & MONEY!!

Welcome, Tahki!

If your finances are tight (and whose aren't?) maybe you could suggest to your family that you all do a "secret santa" or "polyanna" gift exchange this year instead of everyone having to buy for everyone else. That means you would only have to buy an Xmas gift for one person instead of everybody. Lots of big families do that.

I'm with Feh...box up anything you don't want her to touch and relocate it to some part of the house where she won't look. If you think your folks will force you to "be nice" and let her use said items anyway, let a trusted friend borrow them for the duration of "Dannika's" stay. "Sorry Mom, but I lent my phone/Nintendo/books to my friend." After Dannika leaves, retrieve the item(s) from your friend and thank him/her profusely.

Computer passwords are marvelous. Password any files/folders/applications you don't want her using. If you're worried about what she'll find online, password your browser. Hell, password your whole system so she can't log on without you sitting right at her elbow.

As for entertainment...develop a slew of boring interests, or at least ones that run opposite of hers.

Stick to your guns. This child sounds like a hideous brat.

Welcome ! Hopefully you will find support here for your choice not to bring more wasteful hungry mouths into this already-starving world.