Boo Hoo Moo feels like nobody cares about her lost clump.

Grab your tissues everyone, this is a real tearjerker.

"I had a miscarriage at 15 weeks 10 weeks ago now. I thought I was coping really well with the situation, but now am feeling so low . I still haven't had my period and did a pregnancy test to make sure last week, it was negative, so I don't know if that's a reason. Also I've spoken to my husband about the prospect of trying again at some point and he's more or less admitted that he doesn't want another child. I feel it's the only reason I've got through the last 10 weeks, the knowledge that I'll have another baby. Not that my baby is ever going to be replaced by another, don't get me wrong. I'm just so angry, I should be feeling my baby kicking now, looking forward to seeing what he/she would look like. To make matters worse, the long awaited appointment has come up at the hospital for next week and I'm dreading it now. I'm going to have to go alone because my husband apparently can't get out of work, but he didn't supply me with this information I had to actually ask if he was going to come with me. He didn't even ask me if I could rearrange it to a date he could come with me so I didn't have to go alone. I just feel like no one cares about it now. I'm especially angry with my husband, he's disappointed me so much that I'm even thinking about whether I even want to be with him anymore??? We've already got two children and I don't really want to break the family up, but is there a future with someone who clearly doesn't care about my emotional needs? Or am I just being unfair? I'm just so mixed up and sad, needed to vent. Thanx"

No, Mooo, nobody cares. Your husband is sick of hearing you piss and moan about your miscarriage. Your children are probably sick of getting shoved aside because you're too busy pining over the loaf that never was. Get over yourself.

That reminds me of an animal hording show I saw. The moo pretty much emotionally ignored her husband and kids and horded animals all because she felt like they didn't care about a miscarriage she had 15 years ago.

These women are emotionally unstable if they're thinking about divorce and ignoring spouses and children all because they lost a clump. I don't know the medical procedure with a DNC, but does she need a ride home from the hospital afterwards? If yes, then I can see the point of needing the husband there. If no, then STFU and move on with your life.

I lost a special needs cat do to some recalled cat food that I didn't find out about until after the fact. It was sad, my wife and I were especially attached to that cat since our entire home life ended up revolving around his needs. But, life had to move on and we didn't contemplate divorce because our emotional needs over the loss wasn't being met.

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I walk the path of life to my own rhythm, my own beat-if you don't like it, step off and find your own damn song!

"I had a miscarriage at 15 weeks 10 weeks ago now. Then you've had nearly THREE MONTHS to get over it and I suggest you do! How long would you continue to be a basket case if a real person died, I wonder?

I thought I was coping really well with the situation, but now am feeling so low . I still haven't had my period and did a pregnancy test to make sure last week, it was negative, so I don't know if that's a reason. Also I've spoken to my husband about the prospect of trying again at some point and he's more or less admitted that he doesn't want another child. I can CERTAINLY SEE WHY! He's likely sick to death of you milking every late period and half baked "baby" loss.

I feel it's the only reason I've got through the last 10 weeks, the knowledge that I'll have another baby. GOD that's pathetic! Don't you have ANYTHING ELSE to do like care for your two LIVE kids?

Not that my baby is ever going to be replaced by another, don't get me wrong. I'm just so angry, I should be feeling my baby kicking now, looking forward to seeing what he/she would look like. Well, the loaf is dead, so you may as well forget about it and focus on something else, preferably something more productive.

To make matters worse, the long awaited appointment has come up at the hospital for next week and I'm dreading it now. I'm going to have to go alone because my husband apparently can't get out of work, but he didn't supply me with this information I had to actually ask if he was going to come with me. He didn't even ask me if I could rearrange it to a date he could come with me so I didn't have to go alone. I just feel like no one cares about it now. What, you STILL haven't let them scrape out the gunk? WHY do you need anyone to hold your hand for a routine out patient procedure that doesn't even take ten minutes?

I'm especially angry with my husband, he's disappointed me so much that I'm even thinking about whether I even want to be with him anymore??? We've already got two children and I don't really want to break the family up, but is there a future with someone who clearly doesn't care about my emotional needs? Or am I just being unfair? I'm just so mixed up and sad, needed to vent. Thanx" FFS! In one breath you are yearning for a fresh loaf and in the next, you are ready to leave your husband you seem to despise! This is ALL about moo and the disappointment of the waning attention from her husband after nearly THREE MONTHS after the loss of a clump. :headbrick

I get so sick of these cows who go off on a "woe is moo" pity- party when the attention they crave finally dries up after their friends and family have had enough of their bullshit.:BS

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Quote
KABA
That reminds me of an animal hording show I saw. The moo pretty much emotionally ignored her husband and kids and horded animals all because she felt like they didn't care about a miscarriage she had 15 years ago.

These women are emotionally unstable if they're thinking about divorce and ignoring spouses and children all because they lost a clump. I don't know the medical procedure with a DNC, but does she need a ride home from the hospital afterwards? If yes, then I can see the point of needing the husband there. If no, then STFU and move on with your life.

I lost a special needs cat do to some recalled cat food that I didn't find out about until after the fact. It was sad, my wife and I were especially attached to that cat since our entire home life ended up revolving around his needs. But, life had to move on and we didn't contemplate divorce because our emotional needs over the loss wasn't being met.

And the death of a beloved cat is WAY MORE devastating than a fucking clump loss too, not even in the same league.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Almost 10 years ago, I had an abortion.The fetus was in the 8-9 week range, no big deal. But afterwords, I crashed. My hormones went wacko and I went through a type of postpartum depression, for lack of a better word. I took anti depressants for about 4 months, and then was back to normal. I am a very logical person and a scientist; I'm not given to illogical emotional outbursts.

I say all this because I have to wonder is some of these women's crazy reactions have to do with the hormone crash that happens when you end a preganacy, naturally, by miscarriage or abortion. It hits some of of us pretty hard. The "who the hell am I?" was one of the reasons I knew I didn't want kids. I'd wind up like the lady who drowned hers, all psycho!

Thank Childfreedom I'm Childfree. Fuck that shit, chicken lady, tho, I'm glad you're doing fine now.

Quote Chicken Lady:

"Almost 10 years ago, I had an abortion.The fetus was in the 8-9 week range, no big deal. But afterwords, I crashed. My hormones went wacko and I went through a type of postpartum depression, for lack of a better word. I took anti depressants for about 4 months, and then was back to normal. I am a very logical person and a scientist; I'm not given to illogical emotional outbursts.

I say all this because I have to wonder is some of these women's crazy reactions have to do with the hormone crash that happens when you end a preganacy, naturally, by miscarriage or abortion. It hits some of of us pretty hard. The "who the hell am I?" was one of the reasons I knew I didn't want kids. I'd wind up like the lady who drowned hers, all psycho!"

---

lab mom

Her husband said he didn't want to have another...I wonder if he didn't want it in the first place, and maybe sees it as a blessing in disguise that this one didn't make it? It's possible.

Either way, it's a good thing she isn't having more with him. Yes, the hormone crash that occurs at abortion or miscarriage can play merry hob with a person's emotions (watched a friend go through this after a tubal pregnancy and the resulting surgery). I hope this lady gets some help. She's got two kids that are ALREADY HERE and need her waaay more than some fetus that her body already ejected.

I agree with chinkenlady, it might be some sort of hormone induced crash. But she shouldn't increase it by keeping the mooooh about the lost loaf.

Also: no your husband doesn't care. A lot of men don't get attached to the kids till they are toddler-aged (very wise, I think).
Get over it.

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

Ye gods, I hate when these women get online and bleat and whine and moan about their "babies" that they miscarry. They write novel-length topics talking about their grief and suffering and how everyone around them is a big fat heartless asshole for not giving them hugs, ass pats and casseroles every 10 seconds. Meanwhile, in about 99 percent of these cases, the women have LIVING children already, usually several. Christwagons, can you imagine being a kid and dealing with a wailing harpy of a mother who, after two and a half months, still has not gotten over a dead fetus?

And geez, she wants to divorce her husband just because he's not right there wailing and sobbing along with her? And why does it need to be him specifically that takes her to the doctor? Also, if it's been 10 weeks since she miscarried, why is she getting the dead clump sucked out NOW? Isn't that kind of dangerous to leave pregnancy tissue in the uterus once said pregnancy has terminated? From what I gather, infection from such a thing can set in real fast. I'm guessing this Moo just didn't want to let her "baby" go when it died, so rather than get it cleaned out of her system so as to improve her chances of staying alive for her other kids, she's just gonna carry it around inside her body for a couple months. How she didn't get sepsis, I will never know.

Anyway, why can't someone else take her to the hospital? From what I know, if you get a D&C for whatever reason, you should have someone to help you. For example, I've heard that if you have no way to get back home after an abortion, women's clinics will not perform the procedure on you because I guess it's too risky for someone to drive when they're in pain and still waking up from anesthesia. Not totally sure on that one, but does this woman not have a friend or relative willing to go with her? I'm sure she knows some bleeding heart who will hold her hand and drive her home - why's it gotta be her husband? She doesn't seem too happy with him to begin with because he's telling her he won't be contributing any more sperm to any sluicing attempts.

I could not imagine living with someone like this. Being "allowed" sex only during fertile times, listening to the hysterical sobbing every month when the period comes, the worse hysterics when a fertilized egg does implant and then bleeds out in a month or two, followed by immediate badgering to get workin' on another one ASAP. If this dude is smart, he'll get the fuck away from that hot mess yesterday.

So this is why the gynocologist's waiting room is always full of couples (not to mention the many children being dragged along). It's because women like this get upset if their husbands don't accompany them.

As an adult, I don't need someone to accompany me to the doctor's office unless they're going to perform a procedure which will leave me weak and sick. My SO accompanied me to the gynocologist's once, when I knew I'd be wobbly afterwards and need some assistance. If he hadn't been able to get off work I would have tried to arrange for a friend to accompany me, or I would have somehow managed it on my own.

I am wondering about this "long awaited" appointment. There's no way she could have been waiting 10 weeks for scrapping - she would have gone septic long ago. So it's either some appointment made when the clump was still alive (in which case I assume she would have cancelled) or a routine post-miscarriage checkup to make sure that her organs are back to normal. I can't see why either of these situations would require companionship.

Chicken lady makes a good point about how crazy fluctuating hormones can make someone feel. I've had some AWFUL experiences when my hormones got out of whack with the WORST being when I was on "The Pill" for the first time some 30 years ago. I don't recall which kind they were, but they made me INSANE. One thing they didn't do though was give me baby rabies. Feeling "crazy", having mood swings, depression, etc.......I "get" and have experienced. Overwhelming desire for a loaf though, EVEN WHEN knocked up for a few fleeting days? Never had that happen before OR after the clump was flushed down the toilet, NEVER.

Personally, I think it's a psychological problem and hormones simply play a role in intensifying their out of whack emotions.:crz

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I wonder if she'll name her clump and put it in a casket, then have a funeral for it.

Because I'm sure she cared so much in the past about other people's problems. eyes2 It has been my experience folks who whinge about people "not caring" do care - but mostly about themselves only.

Her husband didn't want another, she wanted one anyways. His feelings don't matter. Already has kids who need cared for, but they don't matter either.

Yeah, I think she needs to look in the mirror when it comes to 'not caring'.

I've also heard the thing about hormone fluctuation - like with any crash, once you go from being pumped full of something to -poof-, it's gonna make you feel weird. On another CF board (I think it was CFEZ or something), there was a topic where some women were discussing their abortions and some said even though they definitely wanted to abort and were relieved to be fetus-free, some of them felt depressed afterward. Some even said they felt regretful. These were not fence-sitters - these were full-blown CF women, so maybe just like excess hormones can fuck with your head, those same hormones stopping cold turkey can do equally weird shit.

I'd like to say maybe these wailing miscarrying harpies should be put on anti-depressants once they know they have a doomed loaf and/or begin to miscarry, but not only am I not sure if that would work (since happy pills take about 1-2 months to reach their full potential), how many Moos would actually take them? You always hear about these crunchy Moos who don't want their dead clumps sucked out because they want to have a "natchural" miscarriage. So, in order to martyr themselves further, many would likely not take any form of anti-depressant either. They'd rather just be loony about it.

Le sigh, yet another instance of a Moo who is going to spend the rest of her life crying over what she doesn't have, which is *another* child. They refuse to look at what they DO have - this one has two healthy children and a husband (don't know if he wanted the other two brats). She's willing to wreck her marriage and drive her husband off (and put her two current children in the middle of a divorce) because a blood clot died. I've said it before and I'll say it again: If your biggest problem in life is a miscarriage, you live a pretty damn good life.

How is it that so many men live with this shit day in and out? How beaten down as a human being do you have to be to indulge these hysterical, brain-dead fetus vessels? eyes2

If I were a guy, I would just move on with my life.

Fetuses/miscarriage aside, I know what it is like to want something so bad and then lose it just when you think you had it. That is a truly shitty situation and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. In my situation I referred to it as an "emotional miscarriage" and it took me awahile to get past it, and I still think about it sometimes, so this lady, like me, needs to see a therapist, especially if she's not present for her marriage and existing children. In my case, I wasn't emotionally healthy or in the right place to know how to deal with what happened to me, which is why it affected me so badly. If this woman was emotionally healthy to start with, this wouldn't be as hard on her. It's not healthy to want something THAT much.

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chicken lady
Almost 10 years ago, I had an abortion.The fetus was in the 8-9 week range, no big deal. But afterwords, I crashed. My hormones went wacko and I went through a type of postpartum depression, for lack of a better word. I took anti depressants for about 4 months, and then was back to normal. I am a very logical person and a scientist; I'm not given to illogical emotional outbursts.

I say all this because I have to wonder is some of these women's crazy reactions have to do with the hormone crash that happens when you end a preganacy, naturally, by miscarriage or abortion. It hits some of of us pretty hard. The "who the hell am I?" was one of the reasons I knew I didn't want kids. I'd wind up like the lady who drowned hers, all psycho!

Doesn’t matter if an abortion is elective or spontaneous; the hormone crash is the same for both. I bet most “regrets having an abortion” are really just cases of hormone crashing. The physical body does not recognize how the pregnancy is lost, it just recognizes that it is. The electives likely get over things faster than those who lose a wanted baby.

This lady probably still has hormonal issues brewing. However, taking things out on your spouse is probably the wrong way and she may need to talk to a shrink.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

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law
Fetuses/miscarriage aside, I know what it is like to want something so bad and then lose it just when you think you had it. That is a truly shitty situation and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. In my situation I referred to it as an "emotional miscarriage" and it took me awahile to get past it, and I still think about it sometimes, so this lady, like me, needs to see a therapist, especially if she's not present for her marriage and existing children. In my case, I wasn't emotionally healthy or in the right place to know how to deal with what happened to me, which is why it affected me so badly. If this woman was emotionally healthy to start with, this wouldn't be as hard on her. It's not healthy to want something THAT much.

I agree totally with this scenario and understand what you meanwink

However, with this moo and many like her, they ALREADY HAVE what they really want, which is healthy children. I could understand all this depression and carrying on if they were infertile or had staying inpig issues and kept getting pregnant and having miscarriages, but women like this moo have two "beautiful children!" they are ignoring. What these women do repeatedly, or so it appears, is have the number of kids agreed upon in advance by them and their husbands, go through some weird baby rabid period when the existing kids are no longer cuddly babies, so naturally by that point they are older and getting knocked up and having babies isn't so easy.

Then, that quest for a fresh loaf ends in repeated miscarriages and they basically "check out" and do nothing but focus on what they DON'T have.I don't know if this phenomenon is they really wanted something and lost it or they really like the attention associated with the pregnancies and the final result, the child, isn't what they are mourning at ALL, but rather they are mourning the loss of the attention, festivities, and support that accompanies inpigness and the act of squatting it for the better part of a year. The way she's going on about her husband not caring and all that fits right into my theory. If she was lamenting about how the husband didn't miss Clumplee or care he never made it, it'd be one thing, but her entire rant seems to be about HER and HER feelings, which of course is Moo-Typical.

While I don't particularly care for whining, loafless, infertile myrtles, there's something about a Moo with TWO KIDS who probably REALLY NEED their mom, but whose emotional and possibly other needs aren't being met, because of what? She's craving attention via an inpigness? I don't know why exactly, because my mom never miscarried so it's not personal, but when those cunts do that to their kids it ROYALLY pisses me off and greatly deepens my disgust for them, more so than the other cows and I don't like them very much either.fuck

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!