"We shouldn't speak of the horrors of parenthood in front of you..."

"because you'll never want kids!" That was the line that DH got at work from to mommies who are constantly bitching about their kids. He just ignored them but still... why do these people think that we have no idea about their lives unless they talk about it? I mean we do observe other people with kids, we also have our own parents and we have internet.

I also got the same line regarding calving when i was in highschool. Oh, we shouldn't talk in front of blackpearl about it because she gets scared and she'll never want to give birth!! As if i don't have other sources to inform myself. eyes2

I know that they want to hide their misery as much as possible in the hope that we fall for the same but to be that stupid not to realize that we have other sources of information?

I agree. I also think there is a great, fat, big lie around. How many women have no idea about how childbirth and childraising REALLY are? A lot. A lot of people admit in the privacy of their thoughts that, had they know how it was, they would never have kids.

Sorry, but this is deceitful and a great manipulation.

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

You're right because most of people who have kids don't even give a second thought...you know...that's the way of life, that's what everybody does...and they jump blindly into it. I mean i do lots of research before buying a new computer. How many people do research before having a kid?

parunts should talk about the horror that is their life even more than they already do. I need something to laugh at as I sit down with a galss of wine and favorite classic movie.

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blackpearl
You're right because most of people who have kids don't even give a second thought...you know...that's the way of life, that's what everybody does...and they jump blindly into it. I mean i do lots of research before buying a new computer. How many people do research before having a kid?

I heard once that when it comes to teen parents - or even parents aged 20-25 - many of them became parents in the first place because they were the youngest kids in their families and so had never lived with a baby and didn't know how unromantic it really was.

I asked DH if he paid attention to what they bitched about...so here it goes:

- she has to organize her work days in advance and is so hard because kids need to be taken to kindergarten
- she gets called all the time from kindergarten because for ex. her son got stung by a bee
- she has evening shifts and she wants to sleep more but the kids wake her up
- another can't travel because of the small baybee
- her daughter wanted a new sports suit and mom didn't buy one and daughter started screaming at her "i hate you"; she slapped her mom
- another got her child so sick and panicked very bad

But we know those things, i mean there's no reason to hide them.

All I hear is "One of us.., One of us..".

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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

You know, even when I was a kid, I figured it couldn't be good to pump a watermelon through a space only a polska kielbasa could possibly fit. I knew it would probably hurt like a motherfucker and envisioned a ripped up, stretched out nightmare that would be my hoo ha. I didn't need graphic descriptions (which breeders would never give anyway) or pictures. My imagination was enough and I said to myself, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOO.

So guess what breeders, you weren't gettin' over on me with your lies, misinformation other bullshit. I KNEW it would SUCK. Just observing your miserable lives, your screeching, feral packs of brats is telling me volumes about how awful having loaves is.

Pffft, like I am some dumbshit that can't see for myself.

Breeders hiding the "truth" is like a dude trying to hide a raging hard-on in a banana hammock.

I have always experienced the opposite in they ALWAYS are bitching about the woes of Moohood, always. In the very next breath though they'll claim it's all worth it, you know, "in the long run", whatever the fuck THAT means! I am assuming it's some warped logic they will shape and mold a productive citizen so we can all be grateful OR, more likely, it's a variation of they'll have someone to take care of them in their old age BINGO, will always have someone around for the holidays, or maybe they will somehow achieve immortality or something. The only thing they don't talk much about is Ravaged Cooter Syndrome™ and they down play the Moo Earned Her Tiger Stripe™ reality too, but that's probably because they are mortified at what's become of their bodies more than a desire to shield anyone from anything.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

And they all ignore the many, many, many seniors in homes that never see their precious fuck trophies after years of sacrificing and slaving to raise them, the countless stories of child abuse and neglect, elder abuse and all the other screwed up, horrible family situations that exist which all told absolutely outnumbers the "good, perfect, give me a reason to live because loaves are so awesome" situations.

It is abundantly clear that tons of people that bred just should not have done it. But NOOOOO, it's different when it's yours. eyes2

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kidlesskim
The only thing they don't talk much about is Ravaged Cooter Syndrome™ and they down play the Moo Earned Her Tiger Stripe™ reality too, but that's probably because they are mortified at what's become of their bodies more than a desire to shield anyone from anything.

You're right, even if they sometimes bitch about this and that regarding kids, what i've never ever heard are the ravaged cooter stories. I mean i did hear some calving stuff occasionally but about The Cooter? No way! Like is the most fierce defended secret on this planet. And forbid you come with proof from internet or even official medical sources. You release the beast who will almost jump at your throat and telling you in a breath how they did bounce back.

I used to be friends with an Ob/gyn back in college. Ya should have heard some of the things she said about womens cooters after having more than one kid. She told me that when a woman has more than just ONE child, her vagina does NOT snap back. AT ALL. She said that she was able to do her exam without the need for the speculum because the vaginal walls were so stretched out! She told me that she was able to put her ENTIRE fist and some of her forearm in these women's cooters and she would have room to spare! So these moocunts fucking LIE when they say that their parts 'bounce back'. TOTAL BULLSHIT!!! How the hell do these men deal with that? Oh, thats right, they CHEAT! And I don't blame them.

DW and I have been married for 25 years. We both had mothers who lived until just a few years ago. We both grew up around a lot of women. And until I joined this forum a few months ago, neither of us knew what happened to a woman's body during pregnancy and childbirth!

I swear, if more young women and men knew what really happened, the numbers of childfree would double overnight!

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blackpearl
I asked DH if he paid attention to what they bitched about...so here it goes:

- she has to organize her work days in advance and is so hard because kids need to be taken to kindergarten
- she gets called all the time from kindergarten because for ex. her son got stung by a bee
- she has evening shifts and she wants to sleep more but the kids wake her up
- another can't travel because of the small baybee
- her daughter wanted a new sports suit and mom didn't buy one and daughter started screaming at her "i hate you"; she slapped her mom
- another got her child so sick and panicked very bad

But we know those things, i mean there's no reason to hide them.

This just makes me want to run right out and adopt the first child I see!

Even my mother, who loved being a mother, loves children, wants grandchildren, etc. said "Kids aren't for everyone! Your sister and you were a lot of work, but I knew what having children entailed, you and your sister were genuinely wanted/planned. I wish more people did! It's good you know now, besides, in the very unlikely event you and DH change your mind, there are plenty of unwanted kids without homes!" I didn't really need to tell her DH didn't want children, she knew I didn't want my own or step kids. My dad asked once, as he also knows I don't want kids. I almost cried when DH said "fuck no" when I asked if he wanted kids. He already knew I didn't want kids, we were friends first and he had known I had my tubal. He also had a ton of respect for me NOT wanting my own due to my health issues I don't want passed down to a child, especially if we had a daughter. He got a few bingos when we first got together/turned serious, but after saying "we don't want them, which should be a good enough reason!" His parents were accepting of it, his sister has 2 kids, even if she didn't, he made it very clear that it wasn't up for discussion. My parents are happy I'm not having kids because I don't want them. My mom is a teacher and thinks a lot of people who have them, shouldn't have had kids.

I love it when someone bingos me when they have a clear case of "buyer's remorse".

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

Apparently there is a moo where DH works who does nothing but bitch all day how her new husband doesn't want a baybee of their own (you know, divorce, remarry and then the new loaf). Her husband didn't say straight he does not want a baybee but keeps postponing it. And she is moaning all day about how her biological clock is ticking *barf*. I so foresee an oops.

Ah, and her supervisor already complained that she isn't doing her job well enough. Well yeah...if you do nothing but bitch all day about imaginary clocks, of course the work doesn't get done by itself.

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Dingo8YourBaby

Breeders hiding the "truth" is like a dude trying to hide a raging hard-on in a banana hammock.

larious

Aint that the truth?

I've encountered ones that bitch a LOT about their parental lives. And some who don't. But it doesn't matter whether they open their mouths, because it's so painfully obvious how parenthood alters adulthood, even if the kids in question aren't hellions. Anyone who's paid attention notices that parents have less free time, energy, etc. Those who have kids and then are utterly shocked at how things change...were they sleepwalking through life?

The Ravaged Cooter Syndrome does seem to be the one topic that's verboten, even amongst the most vocal ones. I think it's because the damage is so irreversible and extreme that they're embarrassed/depressed about it.