Keep mommy alive, so that she doesn't have to cry

This is a story I read on a magazine I buy for my mother. And it made me think.

Long story short: this woman, around 60 years old, is talking about how hard is to take care of her Alzheimer mother who needs to be in a special care facility which is very costly.
Apparently, since she has Alzheimer and needs 24/7 hours care, she must be in an advanced state of the disease.
What bothered me is that in the article is mentioned, as in passing, that the mother would have wanted euthanasia and had told as much to her daughter.
Now, euthanasia is unlawfull in Italy (like in many other countries) and I don't know how hard it would be, under current circustance, to make a trip to Switzerland or Holand (where is allowed). But I'll wager to say it is possible.

And this article made me think.

My mother had told me the same thing, you see. And I wouldn't dream to do something else than following her wish if it comes to that. It is HER life.

And I wonder. I wonder if your child one day would trump on your desire to end what is a, lets be sincere, vegetative state (I refuse to call it "life") in which your brain is rotting into your head because so "they wouldn't have to cry". We often are outraged at parents keeping babies or children alive beyond what is humane... but children do the same to parents, as well.

I will never, never NEVER give somebody else the right to strecht my life beyong what *I* think is an aceptable state.
End even if I am absolutely, adamantly in favour of euthanasia in case of terrible quality of life there is no guarantee that my children would feel the same. They might keep ME alive beyond what is acceptable.
And no. Just, no.

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“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

Sometimes this could put the child in a situation where they would be prosecuted in order to do what the parent wished as far as euthanasia.
A parent in this advanced stage of dementia is obviously incapable of stating wishes.
It is an extremely prickly situation, one of which I have no real answer for.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I don't know of anything in place to help a patient in a vegetative state like that. MIL had a living will in place, but it didn't cover the degenerative nature of Alzheimer's. All DW and her brothers could do was watch her slip into a shadow and not recognize any of them (she still recognized me, however, and always smiled as if she was ready to whip my ass in another card game).

A living will helps. Dad didn't have one, but he was adamant that I never resort to "heroic efforts" to keep him alive if something happened. It did happen. During a routine procedure in the hosiptal, he had a heart attack. His heart stopped for half an hour. By the time the doctor got his heart beating again, he was brain dead. The doctor told me he could keep Dad's body functioning through machinery, but that he would never recover. He wasn't in a coma. He was gone. I authorized the machine to be turned off. It was what Dad wanted.

I understand the children's point of view. That is never easy. For a year, I felt like I murdered Dad. I finally convinced myself that he was already dead and that I simply allowed his body to be buried.

Still, a parent's wishes should be obeyed. The child needs to think about it from the parent's own point of view for a moment. Would he or she want to live a life that was no such thing? If the parent wants to leave, well, that's it then. That would be a great final act of love, letting a parent go in peace and dignity.

I could understand keeping someone alive for a week or two so that the family has time to say goodbye but any more than that is inhumane and a waste of money if they are in a vegetative state. It I had a terminal illness I would choose the Glock terminal care plan.

I looked into Switzerland's laws on euthanasia and this woman likely wouldn't meet their legal standards. If I remember correctly, the person has to have a terminal illness verified by at least two doctors and have less than a year to live. They also have to be able to comprehend and communicate they understand what they are doing, sign legal papers, and actually able to administer the death cocktail to themselves with no assistance. Personally, I think there should be euthanasia clinics like in the movie Soylent Green where any adult can opt for it for any reason at any given time. I have never understood why suicide was illegal anyway because it isn't like the "crime" can be prosecuted.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

My dad, his mother and brother had to make the decision with my grandfather. It looked bleak and permission was given to not save him. He started to improve for a bit and the family changed their minds, as if he were getting better, then he should be given the opportunity to be saved. Then his health failed again, but because the family reversed the decision to end his life, they could not ask that no heroic efforts be made for him. It took a month for him to finally go.

On the other end, my other grandfather, who had a living will, suffered complications and lapsed into a coma. My aunt refused to allow doctors to tell my mom of his situation and her and my cousin Douchebag proceeded to help themselves to his credit cards while telling my mom, recovering from foot surgery, that he was going in and out of consciousness. My mom and dad finally paid a visit, realized the plight and enacted the living will. The day it was enacted, a cash advance was attempted and then cancelled-oooooops... My cousin was the father of a new baby girl...parenting makes you a better person...

Quote
kidlesskim
I looked into Switzerland's laws on euthanasia and this woman likely wouldn't meet their legal standards. If I remember correctly, the person has to have a terminal illness verified by at least two doctors and have less than a year to live. They also have to be able to comprehend and communicate they understand what they are doing, sign legal papers, and actually able to administer the death cocktail to themselves with no assistance. Personally, I think there should be euthanasia clinics like in the movie Soylent Green where any adult can opt for it for any reason at any given time. I have never understood why suicide was illegal anyway because it isn't like the "crime" can be prosecuted.

I think the only time suicide should be illegal is if fraud is involved.

My grandfather had Alzhimers. He decided on the Service Revolver Care Plan.

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" ... what's one more once you've already got two shedding on the couch?"