2012'S Worst Bad Baby Names

STFU cross posted this on FaceSlap and I thought y'all would get a hoot out of it.

I swear, I better not get any students in my class named Espn!

Worst Bad Baby Names

They missed a more fitting name for the kid in the picture. Should have called him Limburger.

I feel bad for the kids coming into the shitty names their breeders gave them. I'm kre8tively named myself. It was cute up until I filled out my first job application. Do the idiot breeders dreaming up the shitty names have any idea how difficult changing your legal name really is??? I'd like nothing better than to force them to go through the same drama I'm dealing with right now.

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satansbitch
I feel bad for the kids coming into the shitty names their breeders gave them. I'm kre8tively named myself. It was cute up until I filled out my first job application. Do the idiot breeders dreaming up the shitty names have any idea how difficult changing your legal name really is??? I'd like nothing better than to force them to go through the same drama I'm dealing with right now.

I have an idea. Coming age 18, every child named in an kre8tive way got the right to re-name his or her parents.

So the child named Burger will renamed his parents Cheese and Bacon and they will be even.

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

satansbitch, I know others in your situation, mostly young women whose parents gave them a name that's fine (if a bit odd and/or sickeningly sweet) for a little girl, but past about middle school the shine quickly comes off. One started going by her middle name around age 15. Others changed their first names. One kept her name, but changed the kre8tive spelling. As one of them put it, parents should 'test out' possible names by imagining a doctor, lawyer, or other respected professional having that name.

I liked the comment on Burger: "Well now you're just stoned off your face." True dat. Why not just name your kid Cheeto, or Side Order of Fries?

And Pawk: "Congratulations! You're a sound effect!"

What is so disturbing is the criteria -- there had to be TWO children with the name for it to qualify. There are two BURGERS? They're going to have fun saying "eat me" and "bite me" in high school.

Oh wow, that's just sad! I remember a few kiddies who I went to school with, Tequila, Shearmah and the worst of all, Boner.

"Haven'T"

Eh? How could anyone even think of this as a name?

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mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
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"An oyster can play catch if u only give it the oprotunity"
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Snark Shark
larious


"Kix"

GREAT band, TERRIBLE name!

"how'd you get the name Kix?"
"Mom and dad said they thought of it while eating cereal for breakfast..."

A few years back I was looking in the announcements column for a birth notice for a friend's child and saw one child had the name "Vinyl Spike". I have occasionally wondered if he goes by Vinnie now, or is still battling on with good ole' Vinyl.

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tausa
A few years back I was looking in the announcements column for a birth notice for a friend's child and saw one child had the name "Vinyl Spike". I have occasionally wondered if he goes by Vinnie now, or is still battling on with good ole' Vinyl.

NOw he calls himself Ipod...

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

"Yoga".

Yeah, she's totally NOT going to have to deal with people in middle and high school making jokes about 'doing yoga'.

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thom_c

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tausa
A few years back I was looking in the announcements column for a birth notice for a friend's child and saw one child had the name "Vinyl Spike". I have occasionally wondered if he goes by Vinnie now, or is still battling on with good ole' Vinyl.

NOw he calls himself Ipod...

"I can't believe mom named me after a sex toy."
"It could be worse, Vin...Look at your brother Tempered Glass Dildo..."

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Snark Shark

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Shiny
"Yoga".

Yeah, she's totally NOT going to have to deal with people in middle and high school making jokes about 'doing yoga'.

larious

not to forget the YODA jokes!

"Do your homework, you will!"

Yoda is still the preferable option though, if you HAVE to have a ridiculous name. At least he's a beloved pop culture icon, not a damn exercise routine