1947 Letter To Ex-Girlfriend

OH MY GODS! I laughed my ass off on that one! Very descriptive too, I could almost see her shuffling through Wal-Mart in pink stretch pants, illegitimate brats in tow, while yabbering on her cell phone to the Welfare office wanting to know WHY her check is late.

Can you copy and paste it here? The net police at work won't let me visit the site.

Dear Ex Girlfriend,

I dumped you six months ago for the reasons listed herein. Since then I have been having a great time and not giving a shit about you till a couple weeks ago when I decided to log into your Hotmail account (yup I know your password) and I was astonished to find you have moved on and found a new boyfriend. I read the letters you wrote him and I must say I felt a twinge on jealousy and betrayal. The tender words were almost exactly the same type of stuff you wrote to me. I have since changed my mind and have begun thinking that I might want you back but you have told me No and that you are in love with someone else. To avoid unbearable heartbreak and pathetic begging I have needed to remind myself of the reasons I dumped you in the first place:

1) I hate your fuckin kids.
There I said it. God that feels like a weight off. I hate how they walk all over you cause you're a shitty disciplinarian and parent. Don't get me wrong their father is too. You two are classic examples of who shouldn't have kids. I hated how the kids always seemed to know the precise moment I was entering your pussy from behind and would knock on the bedroom door talking some shit about needing a drink of water. I hate the way your 4 year old gave me stink eye as she gobbled down the Happy Meal I bought for her. Remember the time she told me "My daddy says youre a bad guy" Fuck your daddy! I hate the way they threw tantrums at the mall. It was embarrassing. I resent you for getting pregnant at 16 by a 19 year old guy. Where the fuck were your parents?

2) Your teeth
Come on...Go to the fuckin dentist. Brush the teeth all the way in the back of your mouth. Thanks where the funk is. And floss. Your gums will bleed like hell the first few times but you'll get used to it.

3) Take out your fucking trash
Why is it that every time I went over there your trash was overflowing. God damn! And clean that fuckin house. If you and I ever got married I'd fuckin go threw that house with a shovel. Anything you or the kids left on the floor would be gone.

4) Your new boyfriend
So I did a little research and found out your new boyfriend is 21, separated from his wife, has no job and no car. Wow. Excellent choice Einstein. You two fuckers are made for each other. Perhaps he will put up with your tacky Wal-Mart lifestyle and your constant moaning about being a broke single mother. By the way, I got into his email too. You might want to tell him to choose a better password than your first name. My buddy and I are thinking of posing as a woman and getting him to send us pictures of his junk which we will then forward to you.

4) Your mother
I never told you this because I loved you and didnt want you to be humiliated- Your fat, toothless, disgusting mother hit on me- Twice! If it werent for my good christian values I'd go hate fuck her right now and polish her off with a carefully squared donkey punch. While I'm on the subject...your brother Donald is a fuckin 80's poser. No one wears jean jackets with Dokken patches on them anymore...No one. Your brother Scott is also a fuckin genius. Tell him to pay his child support.

5) Your intelligence
How is it that your earned a high school diploma and an associates degree? Honestly? I smile fondly when I remember that time at the Discovery Channel store you intently studied a map of the western hemisphere trying to locate Iraq. That was fuckin priceless. How is it you dont know where on your body your labia is located? You have no conversational wit and know absolutely nothing about the world. Unless I took you, you have never been anywhere or done anything. You fail to see subtle humor and irony in things which is why you think "The Office" is a stupid show and everyone else thinks it's brilliant television. You don't like stand up comedy cause you don't get the jokes.

6) You're a dead fuck
When we first met you thought sex was dirty. You only did missionary and never blew me and would NEVER let me go down on you. I could fuck you all I wanted and you never made a fuckin peep. I taught you all there is to know about sex. Make sure to tell your new boyfriend that the only reason you can even achieve an orgasm is cause I taught you. Make sure when you suck his dick you use the variation methods we discussed.

7) Stop wearing belly-shirts
Just...stop... you dont have the body for it. Work on some diet and exercise. Stop eating Fruity Vampires for breakfast, you're a grown woman for Christ sake.



All in all I miss you though. If you were to call right now and want me back I'd be pretty tempted cause I have convinced myself I cant do any better. Oh and by the way...the dirty pictures I took of you-I put them on the internet...no one's impressed.

Love,
the guy that used to mean the world to you.

That was pretty hilarious. Then I thought, "why would he waste time with this piece of trash?" She seemed pretty uselss. I mean, if she was giving excellent head I could understand his use for her. LOL!

I dunno...the girl was no prize, but the guy sounds like a total loser. Why is he so obsessed with her if she's got a lousy body, is lousy in bed, has bad teeth and obnoxious kids? And hacking into her email account AND her boyfriend's email account 6 months after the break up, and planning dumb email pranks with a buddy? How mature is that? Is this guy 30 or 16?

I am with you on that one, CFScorpio...

The guy is a jerk and is just sucking on sour grapes. If this woman was as bad as he claims, he would not waste so much energy and time to hack into accounts and post this stuff online. The man is like many men who do not like it when the woman leaves them since the male ego wants to be the "dumpers". He is just angry that the lady is not sitting at home pining for his @ss. I honestly think the woman is not as gross as the man says. Just my opinion...

When I first started reading this letter, I thought, "Oh my god, that is my ex boyfriend!" My ex did stuff like break into my Hotmail account and stalk me on the internet and in person. I bet the loser who wrote this letter does the same crap my ex does, like drive by her house and slam on his horn, or call her voice mail while drunk and cry about how sorry he is. Loser.

dragon-holding-pearl Wrote:
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> The guy is a jerk and is just sucking on sour
> grapes. If this woman was as bad as he claims, he
> would not waste so much energy and time to hack
> into accounts and post this stuff online. The man
> is like many men who do not like it when the woman
> leaves them since the male ego wants to be the
> "dumpers". He is just angry that the lady is not
> sitting at home pining for his @ss. I honestly
> think the woman is not as gross as the man says.
> Just my opinion...

I absolutely agree, Dragon. (BTW, lovely new name!) He sounds like a stalking creep. And all the bragging about sex - gross. Indeed, if she was so disgusting, he wouldn't have been caught dead with her - unless he's a complete loser. And, well, he sure seems to be. He's pissed off 'cause she has a new man and no other woman wants him.

I especially loved the line about his "christian values"! What Xtian values would those be? Premarital sex? Slandering and insulting someone he claims to love? Violation of privacy?

CFScorpio, the "Christian" values also really got me. Notice that the fellows with those X-tian values tend to be the nastiest and most violent individuals. If this jack@ss had any sort of spirituality, he would not make the claim of how he would f*ck the woman's mother and then punch her afterward.

I really hope the next woman who gets involved with this creep realises that she has a major misogynist on her hands. Any man who gets off on violence mixed with sex scares the h*ll out of me. Violence is just bad but a man wanting to be violent before, during, or after a sexual act shows what he is as a person.

Thank-you for the compliment, Medusa.

OKay - the guy sounds like a loser too, but the type of gal he's talking about can be found anywhere - and yes, our tax dollars are supporting her "lifestyle"

tatogal Wrote:
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> OKay - the guy sounds like a loser too, but the
> type of gal he's talking about can be found
> anywhere - and yes, our tax dollars are supporting
> her "lifestyle"

Even though I still think the guy is embellishing stuff to be cruel to his former girlfriend because many men do that after a break-up, you are 100% correct how these women are found everywhere. When I broke up with a fellow back in 1998, he called and called with nasty messages until I changed the number. Letters started coming along with a visit. Of course, he called me awful names and said how "bad" I was as a girlfriend. After he came by where I live, it took the police to stop the stalking.

About these women being found anywhere. So true...so true. Eons ago, I went out with a man for a short time who told me I was so down-to-earth and "wonderful" especially after a weird relationship with a single mother who had nothing to say. Well...that ended after he did a Houdini for a couple of weeks. I ended things on a friendly note to which he replied how he had no real time for me...but I heard he was out looking again but with the single mothers.

I often do believe that many men DO subconsciously seek out the non-married moos because these women will put up with any type of behaviour from a "boyfriend": no calls for a couple of weeks or so, putting down past mates (I am sure this man also said I was "weird once he got another woman to go to bed with him") looking around for other women, etc., etc. My radar was always up about this one because he was "too good to be true"...

I don't know why any self-respecting CF person would hook up with a breeder. You always play second fiddle to their brats or their ex and they justify treating you like shit with phrases like, "...my kids come first..." or "...he's their baby daddy..." or "...she's the moo of my brats...". No matter what you do, you're wrong unless you are caving in to their brats or kissing their ass.

Fuck. That. Shit.

Single breeders are into the whole martyrdom thing, and they aren't worth a fart when it comes to loyalty or love. They will always side with their brats or ex while they walk all over you.

Let them wallow in their own shit and show no pity to them. They were fuck-ups in their relationships and parenting, so fuck 'em all.

The only exception I will make is for divorced Moms whose hubby turned into a real (cheating) loser once the first kid was born - like my Mom. She had no choice but to dump him. In that situation, then yes - the kids do come first. I was always my Mom's priority.

I am with you on that one, Medusa. Children's safety and well-being should come first. I have seen too many single mothers put their kids at risk when they bring home another loser man who leeches off the moo's money and is possibly abusing the children. Many men do seek out the non-married mothers especially if there are female children in the house for the exact reason I mentioned: abuse.

"I don't know why any self-respecting CF person would hook up with a breeder."

I've gone out with a couple of divorced guys who had their kids part-time, and one nice thing is that they never want any MORE kids! In both cases, their kids were teenagers and on the verge of moving out of the house anyway.

I am not knocking anyone's romatic choices at all. Lord knows I have not made good decisions about mates. My only fear with a divorced daddio with teen kids is how young adults often do bommerang back home. Even adult children can be nasty to their fathers' new mates. Divorced moms get the same attitude but it seems that the grown brats love to ding on a female thinking she is an evil being out to steal Daddy's love and possibly the threat of less being left to them in the event of death.

I am not knocking anyone's romatic choices at all. Lord knows I have not made good decisions about mates. My only fear with a divorced daddio with teen kids is how young adults often do bommerang back home. Even adult children can be nasty to their fathers' new mates. Divorced moms get the same attitude but it seems that the grown brats love to ding on a female thinking she is an evil being out to steal Daddy's love and possibly the threat of less being left to them in the event of death.
_______________

And often those teen kids grow up and on to BREED and grand-brats come into the picture. I NEVER dated anyone with kids and when one accidently fell through the cracks, I immediately dumped him.

CFADinNYC Wrote:
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> And often those teen kids grow up and on to BREED
> and grand-brats come into the picture. I NEVER
> dated anyone with kids and when one accidently
> fell through the cracks, I immediately dumped him.

You are right on that one CFADinNYC! I knew a CF woman years ago who married a man with two girls from a former wife. The sprogs all grew up. My friend was relieved when the brat support payments ended. However, one of the young daughters went on to have a baby. All of a sudden, the childfree woman's husband got on her case for not wanting to hold that grandbaby or act like a Grandmama. People need to think of that even with adult children of their mates even though everyone is different.

I cannot put my finger on it or it may just be "me" but I notice how men with even older teen or adult children are still jerks. For some reason, a lot of those guys act like they are "God's gift to women". They are nice in the beginning but do Houdinis after awhile. One, who had a son in college, did that to me but I ended things with him first which I think he hated so he then said he had no time for me anyway...but he was out there looking for a high-maintenance vain single mother, the same type he complained about when he told me of an ex-girlfriend who did not last long with him when we started going out.

I am not saying that all men without children are good mates or even nice. Look at my former-husband-to-be! However, I have dealt with MORE games from men who had kids or were long-term stepfathers/stepgrandfathers - although one stepdad who will not be one for long --- long story - who were total jerks to women.

Pirate Jo Wrote:

> I've gone out with a couple of divorced guys who
> had their kids part-time, and one nice thing is
> that they never want any MORE kids! In both
> cases, their kids were teenagers and on the verge
> of moving out of the house anyway.

Me too. Most divorced fathers do NOT want more kids. My DH never wanted kids, but had one due to an "oops". I would have preferred a CF guy, but nobody's perfect.

dragon-holding-pearl Wrote:
> I cannot put my finger on it or it may just be
> "me" but I notice how men with even older teen or
> adult children are still jerks. For some reason, a
> lot of those guys act like they are "God's gift to
> women".

I think that's the old "My Dick Works" Syndrome, again.