The Adventures of Mistress Rotwang: Toadlers at the Fucking Gym

So I was walking into the gym today and going down the stairs to get into the main portion of the gym and there was a freaking toadler roadblock. There were like four of them and all of their duhs coming up the stairs as slow as fucking possible. Now I usually take supplements before I go to the gym (usually creatine) and they make me into a Neanderthal. So there I was standing on the stairs for what felt like ten minutes flexing my fucking arms hoping that the roadblock would get the fuck out of my way to do some lifting. Like I said, full on Neanderthal mode.

So I go down to the weight area. Which is unfortunately placed right next to the fucking day care room especially since vulgarity is very common in that half of they gym (they should have put it next to the fucking cardio machines were at least someone might give a fuck about the brats instead of grunting and swearing at them). I set up my shit and started to bench press when one of the brats decided that it wanted to play open the fucking door and run in and out while squealing and carrying on. It must have been a very entertaining game because the whole lot of them decided to get in on the action. Right fucking next to me and my shit. While I was lifting shit that probably weighed about twice one of them. At least I didn't drop the fucking barbell and crack my fucking chest open. Why do people think it is appropriate to have loaves and brats anywhere near where lifting is going on? The last thing I want is to have loaves watching me while I am wearing skimpy workout clothes groaning like a fucking pig in heat around dangerous exercise equipment.

Got to have at least one vent a day or else I get more Neanderthalish...

I go to an all-women's gym, and I've found that mothers are either really courteous about their kids (I had one directed away from me just today) or totally fucking obnoxious. Personal favorite: an obese (think 400lbs or better) new moo lifting free weights with the loaf STRAPPED TO HER ENORMOUS FRONT. I laughed all the way home. Haven't seen her since, but can't say I'm surprised either.

I am into bodybuilding so women's gyms just do not cut it for me because they do not have enough weights. Gym duhs are fucking terrible. Especially the "skinny-fat" ones who think they are all macho because they can bench 101.

No pah-runts want to mess with me too much, I will tell it like it is and if they don't like it, gfy

:hardcore

Weight lifting area? God, I HATE modern day parents!

I hope my incessant farting scared them off. My body unfortunately wants to work out at exactly 4 pm. Any earlier or later I do not feel like I get results.

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mistress rotwang
I am into bodybuilding so women's gyms just do not cut it for me because they do not have enough weights. Gym duhs are fucking terrible. Especially the "skinny-fat" ones who think they are all macho because they can bench 101.

Yeah, I go mostly for the cardio (I have a back injury or else I'd just run on the road or in the park) - I remember the gym duhs from the last place, though. They and the sorority sluts are why I finally sprang for a new gym membership.

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mistress rotwang
I hope my incessant farting scared them off. My body unfortunately wants to work out at exactly 4 pm. Any earlier or later I do not feel like I get results.

That sucks. I find super early workouts are great because people have to be serious to be there before the sun rises.

Can you complain to the gym management, couching it as a health hazard? "I nearly dropped the weights on the children because I was startled by them running up to me. They need to be kept in the daycare; it's dangerous on the weight floor." I have seen how some people drop the weights at the end of a set (although it's kind of naughty of them). That cannot be safe for little brats.

I would've complained. There is a reason that they are kept in a room with a door on it - whoever was supposed to be watching them was slacking off! I am fortunate to be able to belong to a gym on a college campus. No one under 18 is allowed in. A few years ago a bunch of high school boys were sneaking in, and I made sure that they got busted and kicked out.

I would be putting in both a written complaint and having a meeting with a supervisor over that issue.
The focus would be on the serious safety issues for both the kids and the gym users and resulting liability.
In the gym that I worked out at, they had the daycare before the check -in area and no one under age 16 was allowed out of the daycare room for any reason. They certainly were never near any weight training area.

I go to a university gym. Sure it's packed as all fuck every minute of the day but at least there's never any chance of brats being there because it's mostly students. That and as a student, I don't have to pay gym membership. :cool

This was the first day that it happened. Usually the brats are kept well locked up in their room or in part of the basketball gym. There was just a large loaf infestation today. I think they are having a summer camp or some such bullshit.

I hate morning workouts. Even when I was a swimmer I hated working out before lunch.

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mistress rotwang
I hate morning workouts. Even when I was a swimmer I hated working out before lunch.

MR, I don't have a solution to your problem. But I do have an idea that if I had an investor, I would do.

Why not have a whole gym circuit like a Nautilus circuit under water, maybe about 10 feet? People using it would be scuba certified with might keep the brats out. I also wonder if the pressure from the water would make for more of a workout. Is there any reason such a facility could not work? I don't think anyone has done it (yet).

Somehow I think underwater lifting would not be too effective. How could I grunt and growl wearing a scuba mask?

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mistress rotwang
Somehow I think underwater lifting would not be too effective. How could I grunt and growl wearing a scuba mask?

I just pictured this, and it made my day.

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mistress rotwang
Somehow I think underwater lifting would not be too effective. How could I grunt and growl wearing a scuba mask?

I just pictured this, and it made my day.

larious

Now I am imagining a whole swimming pool of people in scuba gear trying to do bench presses underwater. Sometimes an overactive imagination is a bad thing.

I thought most of gyms don't allow brat under the age of 13 or so? Sheesh, the amount of parents entitlement never fail to amaze me!

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mistress rotwang

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mistress rotwang
Somehow I think underwater lifting would not be too effective. How could I grunt and growl wearing a scuba mask?

I just pictured this, and it made my day.

larious

Now I am imagining a whole swimming pool of people in scuba gear trying to do bench presses underwater. Sometimes an overactive imagination is a bad thing.

instead of growling, you can BLUBLUBLUBLUB..But I suppose there is a little handicap from the buoyant force larious
let the brats stay underwater, instead of you trying to bench press under water.

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felisdomestica
I thought most of gyms don't allow brat under the age of 13 or so? Sheesh, the amount of parents entitlement never fail to amaze me!

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mistress rotwang

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mistress rotwang
Somehow I think underwater lifting would not be too effective. How could I grunt and growl wearing a scuba mask?

I just pictured this, and it made my day.

larious

Now I am imagining a whole swimming pool of people in scuba gear trying to do bench presses underwater. Sometimes an overactive imagination is a bad thing.

instead of growling, you can BLUBLUBLUBLUB..But I suppose there is a little handicap from the buoyant force larious
let the brats stay underwater, instead of you trying to bench press under water.

But pretending I am a fish doesn't work. I need to Neanderthal out or else I get antsy.

Also, then everyone will know how much I fart when I work out. Hello random streams of bubbles!

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mistress rotwang

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felisdomestica
I thought most of gyms don't allow brat under the age of 13 or so? Sheesh, the amount of parents entitlement never fail to amaze me!

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mistress rotwang

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fade_to_pale

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mistress rotwang
Somehow I think underwater lifting would not be too effective. How could I grunt and growl wearing a scuba mask?

I just pictured this, and it made my day.

larious

Now I am imagining a whole swimming pool of people in scuba gear trying to do bench presses underwater. Sometimes an overactive imagination is a bad thing.

instead of growling, you can BLUBLUBLUBLUB..But I suppose there is a little handicap from the buoyant force larious
let the brats stay underwater, instead of you trying to bench press under water.

But pretending I am a fish doesn't work. I need to Neanderthal out or else I get antsy.

Also, then everyone will know how much I fart when I work out. Hello random streams of bubbles!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I belong to a health club where thankfully I rarely see small children—sometimes in the pool, which is obnoxious enough... usually there's a bunch of preteens in the locker rooms using their phones, which is prohibited, and I'll complain to the desk... can't stand kids when I'm trying to work out!

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Snark Shark

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mistress rotwang
But pretending I am a fish doesn't work. I need to Neanderthal out or else I get antsy.

Also, then everyone will know how much I fart when I work out. Hello random streams of bubbles!

I wonder if that's what the song "Forever Blowing Bubbles" is about!

I thought that it was about giving a chimp named Bubbles blow jobs...

Actually, MR, here is what I mean. One of my gay friends told me that he liked to go see college mens swim meets because he believed that the "pressure from the water made them more beautiful." There could be something to that. There is much more resistance water than out of water. Now, while the weights might be lighter, you are pushing against water and going from station to station you have to walk or swim through water. It would be kind of the effect of when Superman went from the intense gravity of Krypton and came to Earth with less gravity he had much more strength. I think someone needs to do a study on this. Why not put the whole gym underwater? You would have to be scuba certified but maybe the air could be supplied by the building so as not to need a heavy tank. Ratherdive, do you have anything to say about this? Anyway, it would help to keep the kids away too. Oh, and here is a water workout by a boxer, but I would have him totally Under water.