Famblees in first class

My poor husband...he just boarded a full, four hour flight. We paid extra for him to upgrade to first class thinking it would allow him to avoid the famblees, since his trip up was hell due to the screaming brats. Alas, that was not to be the case. He texted me that some famblee is seated all around him, and next to him is some moo with a "grabby" baybee in her lap. He is much more vocal in public about being annoyed by brats than I am. Praying to FSM that he will survive this flight, sanity intact. I encouraged him to take full advantage of the free booze.

Uggg...hope he can keep his cool on that flight.

I know what an 8 hour flight next to an ear-splitting, non-stop scheechy kid is. :smn

Free booze is a good thing.

I swear airport moos are getting worse. Just yesterday, I spent one and a half hours on a plane in front of a moooo going on to her neighbor about how parenting is TMIJITW and how "you don't know love until you have a child." Never mind that she was on a business trip and her ex has the kids half the time, oh no, EVERYONE should have kids!!! "Everyone" includes her childfree sister, who was quite clear that she wants none of it, but will eventually realize that "it's different when they're yours." fuck

The next flight was four hours long and featured a brat kicking the back of my seat and a moo beefing her toadler (she did at least use a cover, but still, what's wrong with bottles for the plane?). I was really fucking happy to get home.

Welcome to the hell that is modern air travel. Even though my flight time is cut drastically with a promotion at work, I still manage to do at least two transcontinentals per month. At least now I'm allowed to fly first class paid instead of upgrading with miles/points, but I digress.

I can't think of but a few flights where idiot breeders have brought spawn into first class and ruined the flight. From the Xtian twunt who told her daughter loud enough for me to hear it that I "dress like a slut" to the idiot duhds who have tried using their brats as pickup lines to the moo who told me to get up so she could use my seat to change her baybee's diaper, I have really soured on air travel.

Just so you know what happened: Xtian twunt ended up having the police meet her at the door and question her ass for comments she made about other passengers; duhds were shut down including one asshole who ended up wearing his Bloody Mary over his head; and finally the stupid moowhore who was told to change her shitfactory's diaper in the lavatory and then was caught trying to stuff it down the toilet causing potential damage to the plane. Security was there for her too.

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Xtian twunt ended up having the police meet her at the door ; duhds were shut down including one asshole who ended up wearing his Bloody Mary over his head; and... the stupid moowhore who was told to change her shitfactory's diaper in the lavatory and then was caught trying to stuff it down the toilet causing potential damage to the plane. Security was there for her too.

I love stories with happy endings.
I suppose that you were lucky shit moo stated her intention before starting changing the diaper instead of dumping the shit in your lap.

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cfbitchfromla
Just so you know what happened: Xtian twunt ended up having the police meet her at the door and question her ass for comments she made about other passengers; duhds were shut down including one asshole who ended up wearing his Bloody Mary over his head; and finally the stupid moowhore who was told to change her shitfactory's diaper in the lavatory and then was caught trying to stuff it down the toilet causing potential damage to the plane. Security was there for her too.

That makes me happy too. It sure is nice when karma gets back to you fast.

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cfbitchfromla
Welcome to the hell that is modern air travel. Even though my flight time is cut drastically with a promotion at work, I still manage to do at least two transcontinentals per month. At least now I'm allowed to fly first class paid instead of upgrading with miles/points, but I digress.

I can't think of but a few flights where idiot breeders have brought spawn into first class and ruined the flight. From the Xtian twunt who told her daughter loud enough for me to hear it that I "dress like a slut" to the idiot duhds who have tried using their brats as pickup lines to the moo who told me to get up so she could use my seat to change her baybee's diaper, I have really soured on air travel.

Just so you know what happened: Xtian twunt ended up having the police meet her at the door and question her ass for comments she made about other passengers; duhds were shut down including one asshole who ended up wearing his Bloody Mary over his head; and finally the stupid moowhore who was told to change her shitfactory's diaper in the lavatory and then was caught trying to stuff it down the toilet causing potential damage to the plane. Security was there for her too.

LOL, did they think Xtian moo was a terrorist? She must have said some choice things. LOL bloody Mary guy and fuck the shitty diaper bitch. Unreal, the nerve people have but too often they get away with it, fortunately not always.

Cfbitchfromla, yeah I thought of the experiences that you've shared before about flying in first class - the nerve of people!!! fuck

Here's an update - my husband emailed me from the cab on his way home. Here's what he had to say:

"Goddammed breeders.

Basically, this couple with two small children coopted first class and turned it into their own private fucking nursery.

Mommy and daddy took turns between the seat next to me and the seat in front of me. At one point, daddy was sitting next to me while mommy was sitting in the seat in front trying to placate the other screeching infant. When I inadvertantly pounded my fist on the seat arm after a particularly loud screech, daddy waxed indignant and said "you know, that wont make my child be quiet."

I glared at him and said "no, nothing will make it be quiet."

He said "maybe you should just ride on private jets."

I said "could you afford that?"

"No"

"Then maybe its not a bad idea."

They didn't say a fucking word to me for the remainder of the flight."

The fucking prick suggested the my husband just "ride on a private jet"!!! God, breeder entitlement has no bounds!!!

CAPTCHA: PNb4P

I truly feel your pain on thisone. I had an 8 hour screeching brat, you know that ear splitting screech? It didn't shut up for the entire flight. Everybody was staring at the moo, hoping it would just stop. I said sommthing to the moo before the flight took off, because she was publically beefing, and I just had a bad feeling about this...

I wonder how they could afford 1st class, what with 2 loaves. First class isn't cheap. If they can afford that, maybe it's THEM that should hire private jets. If they can afford 1st class...

Only way I got on 1st class was on free upgrades on Air France, before 9-11. Ahhh, those were the days

Peace, that truly sucks. I can't imagine there's enough booze on the plane to be able to handle EIGHT FREAKING HOURS of a screeching loaf, and not being able to leave!!!

This is my theory on famblees in first class - duhdee travels for business and racks up the miles, so when the Big Happy Famblee goes on their annual trek to MeeMaw and PeePaw's Place, DisneyWorld or wherever, they use those miles to upgrade. It only cost my husband 17.5K miles to upgrade (plus a small fee), so if duhdee flies once or twice a month at the minimum, he is likely racking them up, what with attaining "gold" status or whatever the equivalent would be.

It makes me so angry, because had I known he would be dealing with that BS, I would have saved the miles and the fee! This is exactly why we travel in the off season, and only fly in the summer aka Prime Breeder Travel Season when absolutely necessary.

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Ketchup

He said "maybe you should just ride on private jets."

The fucking prick suggested the my husband just "ride on a private jet"!!! God, breeder entitlement has no bounds!!!

That is straight up Flyer Talk BS right there. They always say that! eyes2

sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
indecision may or may not be my problem

Someone needs to invent a baby tranquilliser for flying. And make it not only legal but mandatory to administer before setting foot on a plane!

Ketchup, thankfully Air France gives unlimited free wine to its clients in economy class and decent headphones. Staying alcoholically numb, while watching The Hobbit helped quite a bit. I also periodically gave that French moo the stare of death (as did a few others) when her loaf decided to shriek bloody murder. She didn't bother with the men staring, but for some reason I made her VERY uncomfortable when I stared at her after a shrieking episode. Wonder why

Yeah, it's a shame to waste the money and/or miles to upgrade if the flight is going to disturbed with some shrieking thing. It's too bad parents don't have to register their babies in advance of the flight and their seat choices, so we could see in advance if a loaf was on the flight and where it was sitting. I'd sit FAAAAR away from it!

Ugh! Flying with brats is the worst!!! I had 3 eight hours flights with brats and here is what happened:
1) Return flight: The kid wouldn't stop kicking my chair!! I was trying to sleep and he just kept kicking while playing with his DS. I glared at the mother and she gave him a meh 'stop it'. If the flight wasn't full I'd change seats.
2) Travel to birth country flight: There was a brat or maybe two screaming and laughing loud when everyone was trying to sleep and the mother pretended everything was fine.
3) Return flight: Kids were wandering around the entire flight screaming, laughing and playing catch. There was a specific little girl (about 3/4) going into empty seats and throwing the pillows on the floor or sitting and kicking the seat in front of her. My aunt was pissed. The stupid brat was smiling like it was funny. I glared at her and she went away. Her mother was not even worth glaring. She was busy relaxing...forgetting she's a parent.
I remember seeing a little boy, same age as the bratty girl, sitting with his mother and playing with her. Not once he made an awful noise, 'cause everytime his voice got a little higher his mother would tell him to keep quiet and let other people sleep. Is it really hard to entertain your child the entire time? Made me smile to the little boy when he smiled at me.
Stupid f*cking parents just want all the catering and compliments but none of the work! Don't reproduce!!!

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"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

If I was ever stuck on a flight with a brat kicking my seat I'd pay whoever is behind the parent very good money to trade places with me. I would the proceed to kick the living crap out of moo or duh's seat and claim I had restless legs syndrome. If moo or duh had to suffer the brat would never do it again.

Paranoia, paranoia, paranoia, paranoid. I'm not sick, but I'm not well. They're all out to get me they're all out to get me, so are you. So are you. (Sung to the tune of Frere Jaques.)

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Snark Shark
there should be a section for breeders and their cunts- I mean kyds- on the plane, and it should be called NO CLASS.

larious

Well said!

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yummynotmummy
Someone needs to invent a baby tranquilliser for flying. And make it not only legal but mandatory to administer before setting foot on a plane!

Actually, a Benadryl (one-half for an especially small kid) works just fine. Crush it up and feed it to the loaf/sprog in some applesauce. Problem solved.

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Snark Shark
there should be a section for breeders and their cunts- I mean kyds- on the plane, and it should be called NO CLASS.

We should start quoting Samuel L Jackson when these cumstains start howling uncontrollably -

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Samuel L. Jackson
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking loaves on this motherfucking plane! Everybody strap in...we're about to open some windows.

Another CFBfLA airplane special:

I take American Airlines 767 service LAX to JFK/return a lot. Our office in New York handles a number of big pharmaceutical and health care clients in New Jersey and on the east coast. One of the big accounts that I handle asked me to come to NYC to discuss a huge new campaign. So off I go.

The particular 767 is a "200" model with three classes - first, business and coach. First is a small, 6-seat cabin. Business is a bit bigger with 30 seats and then coach. The first class service is not cheap, and can be upwards of $3K. Business similarly is expensive. Sometimes these planes, depending on maintenance, are swapped out for 757s that have 22 to 24 in first class and the rest economy. Well, that day was one of the swap-outs.

In the gate lounge area while waiting for the plane, I noticed a Hollyweirdo-wannabe who has done some video work for my agency in the past holding a squalling (and I might add FUCKING STINKING--change the fucking diaper, you goddam pig!!!) shitfactory accompanied by a granolamoo holding the hands of one of the fugliest toadlers I ever saw all skulking by the gate agent moaning that they had lost their upgrades and had to sit in coach. That happens when the swapouts occur. I had a paid first class ticket, so I was not downgraded. Well, moo and duh were having none of it, as it turns out they paid for cheapo economy but somehow were upgraded due to duhddy's status. Needless to say, my favorite gate agents, the curmudgeonly, pissed-off women at American, were having none of this and finally they slinked away.

The hipster wannabe trash fambuhlee lurked by the "Priority AAcess" lane, the line that is used to board first, business (when it's a 767) and the elite frequent fliers in order. As soon as the gate agent opened the door and went to press the button announcing boarding, the fambuhlee literally jumped out in front of everyone and demanded, not asked, but DEMANDED to board. The gate agent, again one of my favorite curmudgeonly American Airlines employee, would have no part of it and told them to go away until she called their group. The moo and duhd proceeded to argue and whine, but a manager came up to the door and pushed them away with a threat of calling the police. As I passed by them, I shot moo a look, rolled my eyes and laughed at her.

As they boarded through the front-most door, moo stopped at my seat and asked me "What the fuck is your problem, bitch?" The flight attendant immediately came back and asked, "Is this woman bothering you?" to me. The flight attendant told the moo to get back to her seat and stop bothering people unless she and her fambuhlee wanted kicked off the plane. Duhddie was glassy-eyed by this time and looked like he would sell his soul for anything with ethyl alcohol in it. Moo just looked at me and said, "This isn't over, bitch!" and slinked back to coach. Like that twunt would even try anything.

I was seated in the last row of first, and I could hear everything going on in the first few rows of coach. Moo and duhd proceeded to make a complete fucking mess in the plane. They kept ringing for the flight attendants every 15 minutes. Snotleigh wanted this, they needed that for Shitsack, why don't the airlines carry baybee food, blah blah blah. Goddess, I was so sick of the bitch I wanted to strangle the fucking moo with a coathanger. After two hours of solid abuse, a flight attendant went up to the fambuhlee and said, "There are others on this plane and we have to serve all of them. If you keep this up, I will let the captain know. You will be arrested in New York for interfering with a flight crew." I didn't hear a peep out of them until and hour later when moo and duhd were talking about "what a bunch of bitches" those flights attendants were. I looked back right at moo and she wadded up a napkin and threw it at me. Didn't even hit the back of my seat. I laughed at her again. When we landed, we deboarded through the second door right behind first class and right in front of coach. The flight attendant stood in the way with her arms out while first class deboarded and moo mouthed a "fuck you!" to me. I laughed again and went down the jetway.

I don't know how long it took for that fambuhlee to get their fucking shit together and off the plane, but I was out in a taxi bound for Manhattan when I noticed moo and duhd and screaming brats way back in the taxi line. Moo saw me and started to give me the finger when I laughed at her as we passed her by. I looked back and she was screaming at her husband.

Bitch deserved everything she got--and then some.

Do you have any influence in hiring decisions? Because I think you should make sure that guy doesn't get any more work from you.

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cfbitchfromla
Another CFBfLA airplane special:

Snipped!

Bitch deserved everything she got--and then some.

Let us say it together...again... Parenting Makes You A Better Person, NOT! larious

sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken
indecision may or may not be my problem

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yurble
Do you have any influence in hiring decisions? Because I think you should make sure that guy doesn't get any more work from you.

Yurble:

That has already happened. The bastard will not be getting any additional work from us, and we just started buying media and production resources for the new campaign we landed.

I am sure either he or one of his staff will be in our office wondering why we are not using his services. I would love to tell him personally.

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cfbitchfromla

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yurble
Do you have any influence in hiring decisions? Because I think you should make sure that guy doesn't get any more work from you.

Yurble:

That has already happened. The bastard will not be getting any additional work from us, and we just started buying media and production resources for the new campaign we landed.

I am sure either he or one of his staff will be in our office wondering why we are not using his services. I would love to tell him personally.

What answer will you give? Will you discuss how they treated you, or will you stick to how you saw his famblee behave like entitled brats and treat the airline employees like shit?

The Oatmeal Nails It Again:



Full Comic

_______________________

“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.