Duhd Camp: Happy Chooch Day

Our favorite duhdy blagger has written a few posts since the last time I made fun of him, but those posts were nothing to snark on...until this one. This is another one of those stupid letter-to-my-sprog deals, only this one is about Chooch, since it's his birthday. I'll snark on the highlights.

http://www.dad-camp.com/best/holidays-2/charlie-4/

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Love letter to Chooch
Char Char, Choochie, Charleau, Charles Phillip Arthur George, The Chooch, Charlie,

Happy Birthday.

I just read back to last year’s birthday letter and all of that is still true, my friend. You are a crazy monkey. You are the aggressor. You don’t let your stature stop you

First of all, stop with all the fucking nicknames...just pick one and stick with it, preferably one that won't get his ass kicked later on in life! If Chooch got his ass spanked once in a while, he wouldn't be a crazy monkey!

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Whine and cheese
You started school this year, Charlie, and it has been just a year. You weren’t allowed into preschool until you turned 3 and since January you’ve been a fan of heading to school.

Does Chooch really feel this way, or has BuzzKill developed Horta's skills for projection? :eyebrows

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Buzz the hypocrite
This morning you woke up to a table filled with a Lightning McQueen pit crew outfit, some LEGO, and a Batman cave. You dove in full tilt.

Yes, you got a ton of shit for your birthday, even though several posts ago I bitched about you boys getting too many presents... eyes2

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Damn it, STOP growing!
You want to grow up so badly, Charlie. Having an older brother means you tag along with him and his friends on play dates and are always trying to do what Zacharie does. Slow down, buddy, you have a lot of time ahead of you.

Translation: Just because Zachariee turned out to be a shitty Calgary kid, doesn't mean you have to follow the same path. You still have a chance for Favored Son...just don't grow up, damn it! Stay Duhdy's little boy forever....

There's quite a bit more, but these were some of the more snark-worthy bits. There's also tons of pics in this post chronicling Chooch's entire third year (including Choochie-Os, of course).

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)

“Translation: Just because Zachariee turned out to be a shitty Calgary kid, doesn't mean you have to follow the same path. You still have a chance for Favored Son...just don't grow up, damn it! Stay Duhdy's little boy forever....”

You know what would be great? If Charlie became another one of those lowly Calgary kids. Then Duhddy would have no more mini me. He’d be all depressed and whiny and we’d have more to laugh at.
He really is pathetic. His entire identity is wrapped around his kids, and once they start gaining some independence, oh nos! Whatever will he do?

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efsb
“Translation: Just because Zachariee turned out to be a shitty Calgary kid, doesn't mean you have to follow the same path. You still have a chance for Favored Son...just don't grow up, damn it! Stay Duhdy's little boy forever....”

You know what would be great? If Charlie became another one of those lowly Calgary kids. Then Duhddy would have no more mini me. He’d be all depressed and whiny and we’d have more to laugh at.
He really is pathetic. His entire identity is wrapped around his kids, and once they start gaining some independence, oh nos! Whatever will he do?

If both goldenpenises ended up as shitty Calgary kyds and childfree, BuzzKill would have no choice but to off himself.

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

(Shameless blog promotion: http://popcornculturejunkie.wordpress.com/)

(Cornucopia of visual rantage: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD78oSD27mzAlVzsB0q2ibA)