"11 Diaper Changing Dos and Don'ts":rolleyes2

http://www.pampers.com/diapers/diaper-changing-dos-and-donts

The number of ridiculous articles created on a regular basis for bizzy Moos, who don't possess enough common sense to come inside from a shower of shit, never ceases to amaze me! I haven't changed a shitbag since my youngest sister was a loaf back in the 1970's, but I am QUITE certain I could successfully change a diaper, if ever the challenge presented itself, without a "how to" list of bullshit "dos and don'ts"! Following is the helpful list courtesy of Pampers with my commentary in red::bdid

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Changing Diapers Like a Pro!

Few things are less fun -- from a baby’s perspective -- than a wet or dirty diaper. Fortunately, it’s easy to keep your little one happy, healthy, clean, and dry. As you go to change your baby’s diaper, remember these important dos and don’ts: From a loaf's perspective? How about from the unlucky adult's perspective? I can think of few things more nasty than being in the vicinity of a filled shitbag, whether it's plump with urine OR shit.


DO change your baby’s diaper frequently. For a newborn, this may be as often as 10 times a day. Don’t depend on your sense of smell alone to determine when it’s time. Lightly pat the diaper to gauge whether it’s heavy or full, or gently pull at the waistband and take a peek inside to ensure that your baby is clean and dry. Eeeewwwww. I suppose those methods are better than the one I have seen where the Moos lift the loaf's ass up face level and sniff it.

DO select a safe spot for changing. This can be a changing table or a changing pad placed on the floor, bed, or sofa. Wherever you choose to change your baby, it helps to keep supplies (clean diapers, baby wipes, washcloths, and diaper ointment or petroleum jelly) within arm’s reach. Oh and DON'T change the damned thing in a public place like a restaurant table, lounge chair at the pool, or on your lap as you wait for your turn at the DMV.

DON’T ever leave your baby unattended on a changing table or any other changing surface that’s not the floor. You never know when your newborn will roll for the first time. It's a damn shame they have to be told this

DO always wipe from front to back, especially when changing a baby girl. This will help prevent infections in the urinary tract. Does ANYONE not already know this? If not, it explains why so many cows are mooing and lowing on Moo sites about their frequent cooter infections.

DO cover your baby with a clean diaper after you’ve removed the dirty one, especially if you have a boy. This will keep you, the changing area, and your baby’s clothes from getting wet if your little one decides to pee before you can get a clean diaper on him.That's so gross how the loaf will start soiling itself before you can get it into a clean diaper, which is a PRIME reason why they shouldn't be changing diapers in public places

DO point your baby boy’s penis down to prevent leaks around the waistline. Is a baby wiener even big enough to manually "point" in any direction in a diaper? I thank God I don't know the answer to that question.. I thought diapers were designed to keep the urine contained. If piss is spilling over the top of the waistline it would seem it needed to be changed more often. ANOTHER reason diapered loaves shouldn't be out in public if their bodily fluids can't be successfully contained.

DON’T use baby powder, which isn’t necessary and can be dangerous if your baby inhales it. Instead, apply diaper ointment or petroleum jelly. What? HOW is the loaf going to inhale it unless they hold it up above it's body and shake it about willy nilly? I use baby powder all the time on my entire body and don't inhale it.I suppose this not using dangerous baby powder is a new fad or something and obviously Pampers doesn't manufacture or sell it or they'd be pushing it's use instead.

DO know the signs of diaper rash: red, irritated skin and small, red bumps. If these appear on your little one’s diaper area, be extra vigilant about changing diapers frequently and apply a diaper cream with zinc oxide to create a barrier between your baby’s skin and wetness. If diaper rash happens often, persists for more than two or three days, is accompanied by fever, or seems particularly severe, check with your baby’s doctor. It's difficult to believe anyone would need a detailed explanation of diaper rash, but then we are dealing with cows.

DON’T fasten diapers too tightly. If the diaper leaves marks around your baby’s waist and legs, it’s too snug. MORE common knowledge shit. Yeah, if the loaf's lips turn blue, check it's diaper first.

DO keep toys or rattles on hand, or hang a mobile over the changing table to keep your little one occupied while you change his diaper. Because today's kids can't go 15 seconds without being entertained.

DO wash your hands after every diaper change to prevent the spread of germs. If you can’t get to a sink for some soap and water, use hand sanitizer or baby wipes. They have to be TOLD this?




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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Great commentary as always!smile
Some of those handy do's and don'ts are just mind-boggling. Who has to be told to wash their hands after handling poopy diapers? Or not to leave a loaf by itself on the changing table? I guess some people really are that stupid

It takes a child to raze a village.

I've never changed a diaper in my life but if for some reason I had to I'm pretty sure I'd know what to do. FFS these people must be real fucking idiots.

1. Take off babby's shitty diaper
2. Wipe babby's ass
3. Put new diaper on babby
4. Throw away shitty diaper
5. Wash your hands
The End.

Oh yeah this reminded me of a time years ago when I was still living at home. My brother and SIL were over for a family dinner of some sort and my SIL was in charge of baking dinner rolls. She changed my niece's diaper and didn't wash her hands before continuing to make the rolls. My mother never spoke up but none of us ate any rolls and they got chucked in the trash the second they left. From that day forward we never ate anything she baked because chances are she didn't wash her hands. And she worked in a medical office at the hospital of all things.

I got my youngest sister when I was 15, so I know more about fresh loaves than I care to and yes, I had to change my (un)fair share of diapers. It's disgusting, alright, but even a toadler can do it. Are some moos so braindead that they need to be told how?

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

Dos
- Use a changing pad.
- Only change a diaper in an area intended for this purpose.
- Always carry the paraphernalia necessary in that bright colored bag you carry everywhere.
- Try to accomplish this task as close to the floor as possible.

Donts
- Dispose of the soiled material in any location other than garbage can.
- Ever attempt to to do this on any surface where the general public expect a minimum of cleanliness.
- Keep that filth on your hands, wash with soap and water.
- Aim for a PNA by smothering infant with tightly tied diaper.

Better still, never, ever get yourself on a situation where you need this advice.

Can I get an Amen?

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bookworm
Better still, never, ever get yourself on a situation where you need this advice.

Can I get an Amen?

AMEN!



I was thinking the same thing LOL

You know, I've never changed a loaf's diaper, and I'm in my 40's. Do you think that's some kind of record for a woman? I'd be the clueless ditzy character in a romantic comedy, holding a wet loaf in one hand and scrolling down the Pampers instructional site with the other.

Oh wait - I'd never let myself get in that situation. Ever.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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Lightly pat the diaper to gauge whether it’s heavy or full, or gently pull at the waistband and take a peek inside to ensure that your baby is clean and dry. Eeeewwwww. I suppose those methods are better than the one I have seen where the Moos lift the loaf's ass up face level and sniff it.

Noooooo! They really do that ?? Nasty moos.

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DON’T ever leave your baby unattended on a changing table or any other changing surface that’s not the floor. You never know when your newborn will roll for the first time. It's a damn shame they have to be told this

I'm a bit worried about this one. It only says not to leave loaves on changing tables & surfaces; how much you want to bet some moo will leave one on a counter, dresser, closest shelf and then low "but it wasn't a changing surface, yo didn't say not to leave it other places."

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DON’T use baby powder, which isn’t necessary and can be dangerous if your baby inhales it. Instead, apply diaper ointment or petroleum jelly. What? HOW is the loaf going to inhale it unless they hold it up above it's body and shake it about willy nilly?

This is moos we are talking about. I see them powdering loaf like you season a steak. Doesn't help that loaves are red and emit nasty fluids at both ends so I can easily imagine a moo shaking powder right into a loaf's piehole.

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Miss_Hannigan
You know, I've never changed a loaf's diaper, and I'm in my 40's. Do you think that's some kind of record for a woman? I'd be the clueless ditzy character in a romantic comedy, holding a wet loaf in one hand and scrolling down the Pampers instructional site with the other.

Oh wait - I'd never let myself get in that situation. Ever.

I've also never changed one, and intend to never do so. I can't imagine a baby ending up in my care and me accepting it rather than noping the fuck out of that.

I'm imagining an accident where all other adults are incapacitated and there's a baby in a stroller...yeah, I'd call the ambulance and leave the baby alone no matter how much it was wailing unless it's present position was likely to cause it harm, in which case I suppose I'd probably pick it up with a thumb and a finger, hold it at arm's length, and deposit it at a safe distance.

In the movie, it would grab my finger and I'd be changed, but I can only imagine myself shaking my hand while saying "Ugh, get it off me!"

Never changed a diaper, never held a baby, and never intending to do either.