Maternity Under-Armor

Of course, we can only imagine how miserable it has to be to be inpig, but apparently, it is worse than I had imagined.

With all of the classic complaints of the poor judgment that led to that condition, such as backache, aching feet, hemarhoids (sp) peeing constantly, etc., apparently the "heavy belly" is a real concern (not that they didn't ask for it on a silver platter).

The Wal-Marts in my area put the plus-size bras besides the maternity under-garb. Nice. Not exactly my idea of a good use for a peek-a-boo bra, but whatever. Happened to see this contraption the other day.

Oh my! So, the pregnancy gut seems to get so damn heavy that you have to cinch that sucker in with a brace to rival those of pro-football? I had NO idea! Says that it's great for post-sluicing also.

Can you imagine? Bad enough to have all of the above and much more, let alone the protruberance to begin with, but to have to girdle it up?

Here's a pic of the packaging, complete with the cartoon character of the clever moo-to-be sporting it.

Another thing to add to the very long "no thank you" list.

Gross.. That whole idea is just like.. Damn.. And yeah, it's not only great for holding up that bowling ball, but it's also great for holding up the saggy aftermath as well! What a deal! Jesus could you imagine? I thought you were talking about the sport brand under armour! I was like WHAT? Moomies aren't usually sporty! There's no market for that! But anyway, I'm gonna crack open a beer and enjoy my newish sleek, flat core. And you know what? This makes me want to work out..

The visual of what amounts to an over sized jock strap to reign in an inpig gut makes me sick to my stomach.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

That's gross but the worst part is that it's for "pregnancy AND postpartum." Like, even after there isn't a loaf in there you can still have a gut that is huge and saggy enough to warrant wearing, as kidlesskim aptly put it, an oversized fucking jock strap. No thanks.

So much easier to use birth control and have your body stay the same. Looks like a horrible contraption.