Dear Prudence: BIL gifted us with pictures of our newborn. We want the rest.

The header would have to be way long to give a good synopsis.

When my oldest niece had her daughter last spring, she had newborn and first months pictures taken by a professional. Gotta admit, they are fatuous, but wonderfully posed and staged. The quality of the lighting, the manipulation and (probably) airbrushing of the subject shows that the photographer didn't merely *click* then roll out the picture and print it off. She worked with it.

If the brother-in-law did work of the same caliber, I can see why he wouldn't want to give the rest of the pictures over. Never mind that, legally, they are intellectual property, the simple pictures on the CD probably don't compare to the prints. And he did say that he would give them more prints "at cost." It sounds like he doesn't want any of his raw work to be distributed without just compensation.

It should be a lesson to the wary: offer your services to family, and it could come back to bite you on the ass. This cow thinks that all renderings of her kid should be given over at no charge.

And another *whack* with the idiot stick at Prudie. Comparing cell phone snaps to professional photography? How much of an airhead is this woman?

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Dear Prudence,
Recently my husband and I had a beautiful baby girl. As a gift to us, my (part-time) photographer brother-in-law offered to do a newborn session. I was thrilled, as money is tight and we would never have splurged on this ourselves. He told us we could have a couple of prints and anything else would be at his cost. He had taken about 20 amazing photos of our daughter, but we picked out a few for prints. I asked if we could have the rest of the photos on a CD. He told me he normally sells that for $1,000 to his clients. I was floored. He reiterated he would order us any prints we wanted (at cost). My husband’s family sees nothing wrong with this. But it burns me up to know there are some beautiful memories of my daughter that will just sit, unviewed, on a relative’s hard drive. The more I think about it, the madder I get. Am I crazy?

—Confused

Dear Confused,
Sure, he could have been more generous, but he was generous enough that you got a bunch of professional photos of you baby. As long as the cost of prints is reasonable, you can get more. The real problem is the amount of time you’re spending thinking about this. Your brother-in-law may be a talented photographer, but these days anyone with a cellphone can take a creditable photo of an offspring. So start clicking. Decide to take a picture of your daughter every day, and then create one of those time-lapse photo streams of your little girl growing up. When your in-laws clamor for a copy, give it to them. Focus on the beautiful baby in front of you, not a few photos of her on a hard drive.

—Prudie

Goes to show. Breeders are only I it for the picture-perfect moments and not a damn thing else.

Money is too tight to pay for prints and you go and have a baby? BIL made a big mistake in giving a gift at all. When you give a breeder a hand, they'll just whine about not getting your arm as well.

Yup, agree if the money for prints at cost is a limiting factor, ya ain't ready to bring another person into yer marriage!
They are so entitled these days! At cost wasn't enough. Shoulda handed the BIL their own point and shoot or phone, that way they would own the hard drive or negatives. Didn't think. Or didn't discuss all terms beforehand. Not BIL's fault, he's a professional doing as his profession does.

I'm thinking the new moo might have screwed the pooch for the rest of the family. After the way *she* acted, I wouldn't blame the photographer BIL for thinking "screw this! if this is what I have to deal with when I offered my services as a gift, t'hell with ever being so generous again. I'll just send a gift card."

Yep, the images become property of the photographer. The mom has nary a leg to stand on.

What cracks me up most, though, is this line: "it burns me up to know there are some beautiful memories of my daughter that will just sit, unviewed, on a relative’s hard drive. The more I think about it, the madder I get." She can't stand that there's images of the kid that won't be seen. Never mind that she hasn't purchased said images, it's a BABY picture so it MUST BE out there in the world being viewed!

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yurble
Money is too tight to pay for prints and you go and have a baby? BIL made a big mistake in giving a gift at all. When you give a breeder a hand, they'll just whine about not getting your arm as well.

No kidding, what a thing to dwell on too. I HAVE TO HAVE ALL DOCUMENTATION OF MY SPAWN!!! Does she realize in 10-20 yrs she isn't gonna care about all these pics and just likely cherish the ones she has and will have all over FB etc etc etc

Besides, arent moos of newborns supposed to be soooo busy that they have no time to think of this petty shit?

Remember people, with breeders no good deed goes unpunished. eyes2

She assumes that since the pics are of HER brat, then all of the pics BELONG to her, too.

For FREE, of course.

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I miss my little feather baby.

There appears to be no end to the entitlement complex of breeders. They don't understand what things cost, those photo sessions usually cost in the first place and prints on top of it, and the brother has done both those for free. However, he has set a limit on how many prints he was willing to give away - fair enough. But breeders don't like limits, because when you have a BABY, dontcha know, everyone else must bow and worship and give you free shit for being so awesome.

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Presto
Yup, agree if the money for prints at cost is a limiting factor, ya ain't ready to bring another person into yer marriage!
They are so entitled these days!

Exactly! Are they going to demand baybee clothes from Saks, a fancy car seat, and the most expensive crib on the market too, because "We had a baybee and now our family owes us unnecessary shit since we can't even afford a loaf in the first place"? Oh wait, they probably already hit the relatives up when they had their loaf shower.

Priorities, man.

The morons probably just think all the brother-in-law does is point a camera and take photos effortlessly, and since it's their pweshus loaf, they should be entitled to all the photos for free. Christ, they can't just be grateful for the fact that the guy did a free shoot and gave them free prints - it's gotta be "me me me, more more more, gimme gimme gimme!" I've done a couple amateur photo shoots (and I stress "amateur") and it takes a LONG time to get shit set up with lighting, props and backgrounds. Plus, when working with a loaf, you have to dress the loaf up and then try and get the little maggot to look at you and smile. Not to mention Photoshopping here and there.

Of those 20 prints, I bet BIL took at least 50-100 photos altogether and picked the best ones to show. He didn't get paid at all for his time, and I'm sure he sunk quite a few hours into the whole thing. But all the breeders can focus on is bawwwww he's being a meanie-head and hoarding the other 18 photos to his greedy little self! Never mind all he did for them for fucking NOTHING! They should get all the photos because it's not like anyone's gonna see them just sittin' there on a hard drive, right? He couldn't possibly use them in his portfolio.

I think it might have been okay for the breeders to ask about a discount or if they could pay a little at a time. Never hurts to ask, and if they were polite about it, maybe BIL would have given them a deal on the extra pictures. But nope, they gotta be entitled cunts and just want everything for nothing rather than being thankful for what they get. If he did give them a thousand bucks' worth of photos on the house, I guarantee word would spread and he'd have other breeders storming the studio demanding free shoots and photos because "You did it for free for Derf and Vasshole McBreeder!"

I wonder what kind of drama there would be if the parents wanted copies of the prints they did get. They'd bitch at store employees who try to explain to them that the photos are copyrighted and cannot be duplicated, and if they did find a way to copy the pictures and hand them out, the BIL might try to sue and then he'd be the asshole for taking the poor widdle parents to court for copying his work without permission.

Bottom line? Don't do anything nice for a breeder EVER. Don't give them anything, don't make them anything, don't do them any favors. They will never be grateful - they'll just demand more.