When the truth shows through the cracks...

So many parents want their families to seem happy, healthy, educated, above average, etc. Fact is, most of us are average and will remain so all our lives. Including those children those parents just can't stop talking about. Ever had moments where it's so clear that the average, ordinary stuff shows through...and it's just delicious because the parents don't even see it because they're so blinded by OMGKIDS. Sometimes those moments happen, and sometimes I'm in just the right mood that I can't help but laugh my ass off at them! And sometimes it's not even that the reality is that awful or anything...just that their kid is an average kid, is all.

My latest such moment:


I know someone who's always portrayed her kids as enlightened, adventurous, and happy. She's posted stuff about packing hummus and veggies in their lunches, how they LOVE eating all these different ethnic cuisines, how they don't really eat much candy or sugar. In an actual "live" chat, she and I were talking about different ways of making mashed potatoes (it was Thanksgiving), and I mentioned that my fave kind are made from red potatoes, skins on, with roasted garlic and rosemary. She said that sounds lovely, but that it would never fly with her family...apparently her kids are suspicious of "green things" in their food. And a couple other things she mentioned made me think that her kids are average kids with average palates.

I just love it when the cracks show like that.

Moos and Duhs like that are common where I live. Think they take the expression "your loaf is a reflection of you" a little too seriously. They're the ones always trying to force adult attributes onto their loafs: "my child is very well behaved, etc." It all falls apart once the loaf does something very childish and public such as throwing a hissy fit because loaf doesn't receive a toy while out shopping or a 5 year old poops his/her pants.

A few years ago I read an article about a district in Connecticut where parents were doing anything they could to have their loafs declared gifted (typically means an IQ of 130 or higher, which is around 2% of the population). They were pressuring the schools to test their loafs (even if the students showed no attributes of giftedness) presumably because they know more about the signs of giftedness than trained educators. Once the moos and duhs received their accurate yet mediocre scores and realized their loafs were part of the 98% they were bribing paying psychiatrists to test their loafs with significant uptakes on their scores. All of the sudden many loafs were declared gifted (it was at least 14% if not higher) and the district couldn't meet the demands to accommodate all the spetuel snauflakes. It was obvious the district knew what was happening. I couldn't stop laughing. If your specual clubb goes from 2% to 14% doesn't that negate the exclusivity of it? Moos and Duhs don't have bragging rights if the elite clubb isn't so elite.

A former friend of mine would always wax on about how well behaved her loafs were (age 13 and age 9). The younger one was a royal pain in the ass and was always desperate to have attention from his moo who only spoiled him and showered him with attention. In the middle of one of her long monologues about her perfect loafs while she was folding a colossal pile of laundry in another room I caught a very strong whiff of poop from 30 feet away.

The golden penis, age 9, was playing video games in another room and sulking that he wasn't the center of attention as he was alone. His mom ran into the living room to confirm he had shit his pants (assuming by her actions that this wasn't an isolated case and she knew exactly what the smell meant). He screamed and threw a huge fit when she told him he'd have to abandon his game to take a bath but he calmed down quickly and seemed quite content to be the center of attention once again!

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freya
A few years ago I read an article about a district in Connecticut where parents were doing anything they could to have their loafs declared gifted (typically means an IQ of 130 or higher, which is around 2% of the population). They were pressuring the schools to test their loafs (even if the students showed no attributes of giftedness) presumably because they know more about the signs of giftedness than trained educators.

I don't think this is new; seems like we've been talking about kids getting an overdose of 'self-esteem' for about 10 years or more; but the actions of those parents are creating a generation of little narcs

Chicken Noodle News has a blurb that is easy to read, but a number of other sources have reported on this in the last week, probably because of a paper published recently in the National Academy of Sciences

LINK