Losing a friend to moohood...

The saddest thing I've read this week. This friendship meant a lot to her, but apparently it wasn't that important for the woman who happily traded a 14 year long friendship for someone who can't even talk and can't do anything but cry.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/sorayaroberts/how-my-best-friends-baby-pulled-us-apart#.yey1vLQ9q

that's pretty sad.

though what makes it sad is that the breeding friend probably wont even notice the non-breeders gone from her life.

thats whats really sad about these situations, im looking at a similar one coming to my 10 year friendship in the near future soon

It's sad.

You are right, exile.

If it were a movie set, the larva is the main star,
the breeder is the supporting actor
and the CF person is a disposable extra.

Sadly, friendships rarely last forever.

The one that lost the friendship in this case was told as usual to grow up. Her moo blamed it on her having OCD and the fact that she hates change. Most people hate change, OCD or not. It would be a change in this neighbourhood I live in if one of the houses burnt to the ground or if a relative was killed in a car accident or something. That doesn't mean anyone would be welcoming that change.

It sounds like an unhealthy, enmeshed relationship on both sides. The writer makes it pretty obvious that she can't (won't) adjust to her best friend becoming a mother ..

Quote

I knew I was being selfish and juvenile and unfair, all the things that not only make you a bad friend but also a bad person. I knew it but I couldn’t change it. So I didn’t.

..but then states

Quote

We fought and cried and fought and cried and in the end found no solution. But she wouldn’t let us go. “I thought being a mom would be enough,” she said. “But it isn’t.”

Sounds like the relationship needs to end. Either do it cold turkey and admit that both will suffer, or get counseling to find a new level of connection or the strength to move on from one another

.

The writer also has a fairytale view on friendships, the way moos have a fairytale view of sprogs. I noticed the writer said that the friendship was like out of Anne of Green Gables. That is like saying "I think I will jump my car over that object and it will land upright without damage and go on" Life is not cute girly books set in Prince Edward Island or action movie moves. It is what it is no matter how any of us feel about it.

I can kind of understand what the author is talking about. She and her best friend had their own thing - they were two of a kind, it was love but not romance, they'd do absolutely anything for each other. Then the best friend had to have a loaf and it killed the best friend the author once knew, leaving behind a shell of a former friend who was only going to worship at the altar of baby from then on. I'd feel hurt, sad, angry and resentful if someone I was really close to had a loaf. It's because I know that friendship would be, at best, vastly different... and, at worst, totally over. Breeding brings out the worst in people, literally and figuratively, and it can be difficult to not hate the brat for taking your friend away from you. Losing a friend for any reason is painful, and if the reason happens to be another person, it's even worse.

It does sound a little bit like the author is throwing a tantrum, but I get why. This is just total unrefined, raw emotion. The author realizes how nuts she sounds, but she can't help how she feels. Seems like the people who take the most issue with the article are Moos, but some readers who state their childfreedom can relate. Most, if not all people who don't have kids will mourn the loss of their friends to breeding at least once. Will this lady still have her best friend? In body, maybe. Will she have the best friend she had before? No. No, that person is gone forever because breeding changes people, and almost never for the better. Post-spawn, breeders only give a fuck about you if they need something from you like money or free babysitting.

Doesn't surprise me that the Moo peers all tell her to grow up, because obviously spawning has made them all worldly and mature. Moos don't know how this kind of heartbreak feels because their spawning is what kills friendships. It's never the killers who feel bad - it's the victims. This is why, as much as it hurts, it's for the best to sever that dangling limb of a friendship when someone breeds rather than leave it hanging to keep making you miserable.

I do think the author became way too dependent on her best friend as her source of happiness, though. Part of me wonders if the author has secretly written fantasy stories about her best friend abandoning her loaf and husband to ride off into the sunset with her so they could be together forever without interference from kids and men.