Wonderful Old Cracked Article
Posted by artemis
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Wonderful Old Cracked Article July 22, 2015 |
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Re: Wonderful Old Cracked Article July 23, 2015 |
e-gads, that was sickening, i know a lot about conception, pregnancy, complications and the variety of child birth, and i mean i know a lot more than anyone who choses not to breed should know, but ugh, i ate 2 hours ago and i nearly lost my lunch over all i just saw and learned, thank cat im having Japanese curry for dinner 3 hours from now, or i dont think i'd be very hungry come dinner time. 
and im well known for having a strong stomach for gore.
stepping back from just how sick (yet informative) that was, i really do wonder, how many mothers to be, actually know any of this? there were things on that list even i wasnt aware of.
{WARNING PROCEED WITH CAUTION, IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO CLICK THE LINK, THIS GIVES YOU A LESS DETAILED VERSION, BUT ITS STILL A BIT MUCH FOR SOME}
#1. Hairy Nipples
understandable that the hormone change causes rapid hair growth, we are after all, covered in fine hairs all over, i do just love how they use a photo of a beer belly man as an example of classic pregnancy photo for this one XD
#2. Cheeseburger Crotch
quote cracked: Oh, we forgot to tell you not to read this during lunch.
this quote SHOULD have been the first thing i read on this article as a bright red disclaimer.
now i have heard of these symptoms, but not the nick name, and i had no idea varicose veins could appear on the crotch, but it dose make sense when i consider how much strain it must be under.
#3. Disfiguring Skin Changes
this is actually interesting, never once have i heard a pregnant lady mention any range of skin changes such as a looking like nappy rash, 4 day old sunburn and what ever the hell those raised things resemble.
#4. Gingivitis and Pregnancy "Tumors"
i think this is where i left my stomach, no i did not know that childed females have less teeth and non childed females, suddenly toothless grandma makes sense. no seriously, i thought gingivitis was a gum disease caused by poor dental hygiene, although i guess excessive vomiting and fluctuating hormones can increase the chances of developing it.
#5. Relaxin
i was aware that ankles, breasts and feet swell during pregnancy, i did not know, though i think i might have been slightly aware, that it can cause a hernia like effect on the stomach muscles, pushing them apart like curtains, i think we've all seen this where a post baby body is just a saggy mess of a stomach, laid waste to by the parasite it housed.
#6. Metal Mouth
i know what it tastes like to have metal mouth, anyone of us would have experienced the flavour from something bleeding, but this is not caused by bleeding, this actually explains why there is so much about, the crazy things moos to be crave when in pig, it seems like anything that can take the taste away is the best thing ever.
#7. Hyperemesis Gravidarum
yeah, dont you love it how all those movies show a freshly inpig pukeing a few times, then magically getting over it, like it was a week of food poisoning, yes i knew this one, morning sickness more often than not, lasts the full pregnancy, 9 great months of feeling constantly hungover, without the wild party and alcohol. i got the joy of informing a freind when she fell pregnant that it might not go away like she thought it would, that and many other things she apparently had no idea about related to pregnancy.
yes you pee yourself, yes you fart without warning, but you would have known that prior to falling pregnant if you spent, even one iota of a minute, researching and preparing for what was to come, before it came and went.
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quite frankly, i had many justifiable solid reasons for why im CF, prior to reading this article, but now that i have read it, nothing on this dying blue earth, could change my mind about how much more revolting and not worth it, kids are to produce, i wont go pat some moo on the back and say "dam, you did well to make it through that", why? because they chose to go through it, with or without, knowing what they were getting into before going through it.
and im well known for having a strong stomach for gore.
stepping back from just how sick (yet informative) that was, i really do wonder, how many mothers to be, actually know any of this? there were things on that list even i wasnt aware of.
-i'll second that motion in regards to myself, any minute now would be nice doctors.Quote
Artemis
"Can I please have my uterus removed now?"
{WARNING PROCEED WITH CAUTION, IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO CLICK THE LINK, THIS GIVES YOU A LESS DETAILED VERSION, BUT ITS STILL A BIT MUCH FOR SOME}
#1. Hairy Nipples
understandable that the hormone change causes rapid hair growth, we are after all, covered in fine hairs all over, i do just love how they use a photo of a beer belly man as an example of classic pregnancy photo for this one XD
#2. Cheeseburger Crotch
quote cracked: Oh, we forgot to tell you not to read this during lunch.
this quote SHOULD have been the first thing i read on this article as a bright red disclaimer.
now i have heard of these symptoms, but not the nick name, and i had no idea varicose veins could appear on the crotch, but it dose make sense when i consider how much strain it must be under.
#3. Disfiguring Skin Changes
this is actually interesting, never once have i heard a pregnant lady mention any range of skin changes such as a looking like nappy rash, 4 day old sunburn and what ever the hell those raised things resemble.
#4. Gingivitis and Pregnancy "Tumors"
i think this is where i left my stomach, no i did not know that childed females have less teeth and non childed females, suddenly toothless grandma makes sense. no seriously, i thought gingivitis was a gum disease caused by poor dental hygiene, although i guess excessive vomiting and fluctuating hormones can increase the chances of developing it.
#5. Relaxin
i was aware that ankles, breasts and feet swell during pregnancy, i did not know, though i think i might have been slightly aware, that it can cause a hernia like effect on the stomach muscles, pushing them apart like curtains, i think we've all seen this where a post baby body is just a saggy mess of a stomach, laid waste to by the parasite it housed.
#6. Metal Mouth
i know what it tastes like to have metal mouth, anyone of us would have experienced the flavour from something bleeding, but this is not caused by bleeding, this actually explains why there is so much about, the crazy things moos to be crave when in pig, it seems like anything that can take the taste away is the best thing ever.
#7. Hyperemesis Gravidarum
yeah, dont you love it how all those movies show a freshly inpig pukeing a few times, then magically getting over it, like it was a week of food poisoning, yes i knew this one, morning sickness more often than not, lasts the full pregnancy, 9 great months of feeling constantly hungover, without the wild party and alcohol. i got the joy of informing a freind when she fell pregnant that it might not go away like she thought it would, that and many other things she apparently had no idea about related to pregnancy.
yes you pee yourself, yes you fart without warning, but you would have known that prior to falling pregnant if you spent, even one iota of a minute, researching and preparing for what was to come, before it came and went.
------------------------------------------------------------------
quite frankly, i had many justifiable solid reasons for why im CF, prior to reading this article, but now that i have read it, nothing on this dying blue earth, could change my mind about how much more revolting and not worth it, kids are to produce, i wont go pat some moo on the back and say "dam, you did well to make it through that", why? because they chose to go through it, with or without, knowing what they were getting into before going through it.
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Re: Wonderful Old Cracked Article July 23, 2015 |
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Re: Wonderful Old Cracked Article July 23, 2015 |
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Re: Wonderful Old Cracked Article July 24, 2015 |
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