Lost Potential

Has anyone else here ever had those times where you look at teenage or just younger aged photos of an older friend, who has grown life destroyers & grandparasites, then heard more about their pre-life script years, that implied that they have mostly forgotten who they are at heart, were happier, not quite as socially indoctrinated, & were, well, more interesting? It really makes one think of what could have been, had they either not gotten somewhat poisoned by sentimentalist famblee shit, or not followed the life script at all.

I'm not saying that they are an asshole breeder, & total bore, just somewhat oxytocin poisoned & misguided by biased, sentimentalist famblee is everything bullshit. Its evident to me, that little fleeting flashes of who he really is, occasionally reveals itself, through the somewhat vapid, famblee fwendly, famblee is his world, watering-himself-down-interact-with-the-grandparasites-&-enjoying-it, guy. Its somewhat sad to see how this friend seemed to be cooler, less socially indoctrinated, happier, & valued friendship as much or nearly as much as famblee. Again, he was not an complete asshole, but he ran himself around for famblee, despite being a relatively preoccupied business man, while barely giving me the time of day. Even if he honestly enjoyed famblee everything, he could have better balanced it out with life outside of it, aside from his business.

It also sickens me to know the friend has had past marital problems, that to me, were evidently not totally his fault, & has had problems that he wouldn't have had if he wasn't a Christian(Not that Christianity alone, is a bad thing), so he, without seeking details, inevitably put himself through bullshit, rather than telling society to fuck off, & allow him to deal with things in his life in truly the best way possible, rather than the most feel good, dysfunction encouraging, society approved way. I'm not trying to totally bash him. He had a good heart, & did think for himself to some degree. I just thought this would be an interesting discussion. I know I'm not literally the only one who has had this experience.

Have a casual friend who I used to meet at karaoke. Drop dead gorgeous, loved to sing, pretty damned decent artist who'd had a couple of shows. I lost contact with her for a while and met her again about a year ago. She no longer sings. She doesn't have time for her art. Her life is now all about her baby and her plans to have another. Just...what a waste.

Yeah, there are two people I knew in college who have just wasted SO fucking much potential. One had plans for vet school & had gone through a round of applications with no luck. She was working in a lab, trying to figure out how to get into vet school on her next round. Then she met Mr. Right, decided to get married, and has slipped right back into her southern Catholic family mold. Four kids, degree gathering dust, going the martyr SAHM route. She has no idea who she is now...I think she's pretty unhappy. But she is the one who caved in and bred and followed the family traditions. When I knew her in school she was smart, witty, and very happy with the independent life she had.

Another one I knew in college was a free-spirited artsy type. She studied psychology, but was also on a vocal music scholarship and very active in theater. She modeled for life drawing classes to make a little more cash sometimes. She was sex-positive and pretty out about being bisexual. Fast-forward about fifteen or so years, and now she's a suburban martyr attachment mommy who is doing zero with her artistic side. She doesn't sing, act, or work any shows. She also insists that she wasn't really bi, and her sexuality "was just really fucked up". Didn't look fucked up to me...she was really happy and confident and out. I guess she's figured that being a mom automatically means being monogamous, straight, and having zero time for oneself. Because that's what she's adopted as her lifestyle. I'm sure that she's pretty fucking miserably inside, having squashed away large parts of her identity and personality.

Both the women I've described are also very vocally "yay parenthood, family life is teh awesomez!". They're trying so damn hard to fake it til they make it.

She's not a friend but I'll always remember this blonde girl in my junior class in high school walking inpig with a smile through the halls. It was so weird! We hadn't fully left childhood yet and she dives into having a kid! My family and I moved away before I could see how she juggled everything being a mother. Her kid would be age thirteen/fourteen now. I can't help thinking I had way more fun those thirteen/fourteen years than she did and now she has a sullen teenager to deal with.

Yep! The most striking example I can think of is this girl from the religion of my birth. I always thought she was really cool, gorgeous, seemed to have it together, volunteered doing emergency search and rescue, and was taking some college courses in high school.
Still wore some giant sized footie pj's as a senior in high school though, I should have taken those for the sign they were. LOL

She dumped me as a friend shortly after high school, for smelling too much like smoke.
Yep, that was her reason.

When I got on FB in 2008 or so she was one of the people I looked up. She already had three sprogs and posted nothing but how to "qpon", churchy inspirational bullshit, and whatever the latest emergency for not having any money was.
Worse though, of course she had gained some weight with three kids, eating poor with brats will do that. She was careful to only share her most flattering angles, but something had happened to her face as well.
She now had one squinty eye, her lips had retreated somewhere, and maybe a stroke or bell's palsy, her face wasn't at all symmetrical anymore.

No better billboard for not breeding could have been illustrated with the friend I knew and her face after multiple sprogs.

I joined that Classmates group many years ago. Then I started getting sent notices that someone had looked at my profile. I would look at the pictures and I DID know many of them. The guys looked pretty good..but all the women had sproged and had pics of them with grandsprogs hangin' all over them and they looked like ....well....old wrinkled, gray haired grandmoos. Most are younger than me by a year or two as I was held back a year in elem. school. They just looked worn out.

BTW.. I did fine my best friend from Jr High and High School by looking in there. She lives in the same town I live in. She didn't sprog till she was 40 and then... at 48 she popped triplets!!! Met up with her for lunch a few years ago. She looks like... like I remember he mother looking. Her mother was single and worked 3 jobs and was a mess. So she is my age (62) with triplets who are 15 now. Must suck to be her. We have never seen eachother since we met for lunch that day. I think she just wanted to check me out and see how I had aged. As I have aged well (yeah, I know I do not look my age) and don't have her burdens in life, she is done with me. LOL She'd speak to me if we met up in a store or something... but we dont' have anything in common anymore.