why do ppl think we stay childfree so we can raise other ppls kids?!

Its an older story but I just remembered it today, I was 23 at the time (28 now) my mother suggested I meet and marry my dads 37 yr old colleague (doctors), and at 23 37 seems ancient, because he already has a 9 yr old son (mother died) child is already built in so I dont have to have one! Eugh. This dude was so desperate for a live in nanny he married a chick he met on a trip to vegas. Plus poor kid losing his mother probably has serious issues, and he'd be with us 24/7 cuz moo is gone, no fucking thank u! Why do ppl think if we dont want our own it means we want to raise other ppls?! The stupid hurts

Think it is because most single people WOULD date/marry someone who has kids. Even folks who don't want to have kids will often buckle and marry/date someone with kids, even if they would prefer a SO without kids. Can't help but think some men purposely date women with kids because they know the women are occupied with the kids and it gives them plenty of room for hanging out with their friends (or other girlfriends). I don't understand it but I've heard (mostly men) date women who have kids and whine about it, as if they don't have other options.

I think it's just that the average person is willing to settle for whatever they can get rather than hold out for a better potential partner.

And single breeders just loooove chasing childfree people because CFers don't have baggage, meaning they can raise the breeders' baggage instead. There's no baby-momma/baby-daddy drama, there's no bio-brat to take attention and money away from the breeder's kid, there are no reproductive obligations on that entire side of the relationship. Combine this with the assumption that all childfree people have loads and loads of disposable income and we become a precious commodity in the dating world, especially to breeders. And if you tell them you don't want kids, they think they can charm their way into your pants because, oh, their kids are special and different from other people's kids. They and their dumplings are the exception.

Of course, breeders won't date other breeders because they don't want to be a blended family and they don't want to date damaged goods. That other person's brats are undeniable proof of past sexual encounters, and while I think most people assume their partners are not virgins, they still don't like having the evidence rubbed in their faces 24/7.

I don't see why childfreedom is such a difficult concept to grasp. If I don't want my own goddamn kids, why the fuck would I want yours? And why, of all people, why the fuck would you want someone who specifically hates/dislikes/doesn't want kids to help you raise your child? I will never understand people.

I have a cousin I no longer speak to because she's a raging hypocrite, which is another story in and of itself.

But I just heard through the very reliable grapevine that she is telling everyone how happy she finally is to be a stay at home mom.

As far as I know she does work, so I don't know where the title stay-at-home really comes into play.

Apparently she is living with a guy who is a widower with children.
Um, she calls herself a devout Catholic but she's living with a guy and not married to him and calling herself a mom.

Like I said above, a raging hypocrite.

Oh, and she's super pro life but I have it on a very good tip that she herself has had an abortion.

Again raging hypocrite lather rinse repeat.

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Cambion
I don't see why childfreedom is such a difficult concept to grasp. If I don't want my own goddamn kids, why the fuck would I want yours?

...and of course if you're a man who doesn't want to date a single moo you're sensible for saving yourself a world of pain, while if you're a woman who doesn't want to date a single duh you're heartless and selfish... I think the "heartless" accusation is just how some single parents (especially duhs) try to guilt-trip CF people into giving them a pity fuck.

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Cambion
why the fuck would you want someone who specifically hates/dislikes/doesn't want kids to help you raise your child?

See all the posts here with news stories about single parents who date someone who then ends up murdering or sexually abusing their brat- we all know parents often put their own needs before that of their sprogs, so why should a single parent care if a new partner is a danger to their sprogs, or even if that partner just makes their sprogs unhappy? These single parents are alright as long as they're getting some.

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ladybug2203
Its an older story but I just remembered it today, I was 23 at the time (28 now) my mother suggested I meet and marry my dads 37 yr old colleague (doctors), and at 23 37 seems ancient, because he already has a 9 yr old son (mother died) child is already built in so I dont have to have one! Eugh. This dude was so desperate for a live in nanny he married a chick he met on a trip to vegas. Plus poor kid losing his mother probably has serious issues, and he'd be with us 24/7 cuz moo is gone, no fucking thank u! Why do ppl think if we dont want our own it means we want to raise other ppls?! The stupid hurts

It sounds like your mother wanted to arrange a marriage for you! Meet-->marry this guy. Be a moo to his kid, and THEN you would be expected to have "one of your own". Sounds like a great deal.

With my mother I think its more that im "getting away with it" by "it" I mean no childcare responsibilities

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freya
Think it is because most single people WOULD date/marry someone who has kids. Even folks who don't want to have kids will often buckle and marry/date someone with kids, even if they would prefer a SO without kids. Can't help but think some men purposely date women with kids because they know the women are occupied with the kids and it gives them plenty of room for hanging out with their friends (or other girlfriends). I don't understand it but I've heard (mostly men) date women who have kids and whine about it, as if they don't have other options.

I actually decided early on I didn't want to deal with women who had kids. At my university, there seemed to be a lot of never married single mothers who were traditional college age(18-21), so that shrank the dating pool considerably, I've decided at 47 is something happens to my wife and I'm left alone, I most likely won't remarry or maybe not even date because everyone in my age group has kids and I don't want the drama that comes along with that.