today's bit of schadenfreude: CF= date night every night!

http://www.scarymommy.com/when-you-dont-have-kids-every-night-is-date-night/

Rant about lack of dates manages to also be condescending. And of course it has the mandatory disclaimer/backpedal of "I love my kids, but..." at the end. Gotta throw that in so you don't look like a Bad Mommy.

I had two different reactions to this bit o' mommy-writing:

1. Not every night is date night in the Haus of Random. Sometimes work schedules don't align--hell, I'm gone for weeks on end during the summer. Sometimes one or both of us is sick. Sometimes one of us has a volunteer gig in the evening, or plans with (gasp) friends.

2. Okay, I'll set aside the fact that you're using your mommy-life to define MY own life and how condescending that is...and say that if those are your definitions, HELL YEAH date night is whenever we want it! Video games and pizza! Fancy restaurant! Bike ride to the lake! Netflix and faceful of popcorn! Museum! Lunch! Wandering around the damn grocery store, picking out wine and snacks! Cooking & eating dinner together! Beer festival! You name it, it's a date for us, because we figured out that kids won't enter the picture. Suck it, jealous mommy.

Well, every night is NOT date night in our house, either. Mr. M6 comes home from work, tired, and we have so much to do in the evenings as far as the house is concerned. There is a lot of stuff I can't do myself during the day, so I have to wait for him to come home, and he's tired from work and such. He can get a little bitchy sometimes, but for the most part, he's been really good.

Ironically, though, tonight IS date night in our house, as I am cooking a lovely little dinner for two, and Mr. M6 is picking up a nice bottle of wine and some specialty cigars for the two of us. We are going to sit in our conservatory and drink wine, smoke our brains out, and whatever follows...well, you know.

Don't moos realize that you have to give something up to get something else? They have had to give up date night, so they can engulf themselves in the lurrrvvveee of their chyldrun. That should be more than good enough for them.

Just think, we evil CFers don't get to indulge in THAT kind of love, haha. I'd sooner lie in a bed full of spiny cactus than have that, but whatever floats yer boat.

I'm rambling...waiting for Mr. M6 to come home, so we can have a nice evening together.

One of my favorite childfree blogs to follow is run by a woman who agreed with one of her colleagues (a young, married man with two little kids) that she and her husband are on a lifetime honeymoon because they don't have kids causing them to fight over who is doing their fair share of housework and looking after the children.

Here's the post she made about it:
http://childfreedom.blogspot.com/2011/09/lifetime-honeymoon.html

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mumofsixbirds
Well, every night is NOT date night in our house, either. Mr. M6 comes home from work, tired, and we have so much to do in the evenings as far as the house is concerned. There is a lot of stuff I can't do myself during the day, so I have to wait for him to come home, and he's tired from work and such. He can get a little bitchy sometimes, but for the most part, he's been really good.

Ironically, though, tonight IS date night in our house, as I am cooking a lovely little dinner for two, and Mr. M6 is picking up a nice bottle of wine and some specialty cigars for the two of us. We are going to sit in our conservatory and drink wine, smoke our brains out, and whatever follows...well, you know.

Don't moos realize that you have to give something up to get something else? They have had to give up date night, so they can engulf themselves in the lurrrvvveee of their chyldrun. That should be more than good enough for them.

Just think, we evil CFers don't get to indulge in THAT kind of love, haha. I'd sooner lie in a bed full of spiny cactus than have that, but whatever floats yer boat.

I'm rambling...waiting for Mr. M6 to come home, so we can have a nice evening together.

Every night isn't date night for us either. Wife is having health problems and I'm being treated for an anxiety disorder so life isn't exactly fun right now. We both have our own set of problems to deal with, but they aren't any less valid because we don't have kids. Breeders think only their problems count, but ours don't.

They need to quit being so full of themselves.

yes, every night is date night for CF people. and we all stay out partying and drinking untl 2 am, sleep until noon every weekend, and have tons of free time. because none of us work long hours, or have any hobbies, obligations or responsiblities.

shut up, breeders.

Maybe they can kill two birds with one stone and go on fake dates with their brats. I mean, there's a good chance the kid will wind up back in Moo's bed at the end of the night anyway to co-sleep/cock-block, and she'll probably cuddle with the kid more than her husband (if she has one). Moo can buy some of those fancy chicken nuggets for dinner (the ones shaped like dinosaurs) and then snuggle with Bratleigheeeee on the couch to watch Spongebob and have "nummies" (nursing). All while acting like she's having a FAR more fulfilling date night than her unchilded friends who are eating lobster, attending a wine tasting event, seeing new movies in those awesome AMC recliners, getting an evening mocha or simply staying in to play video games and have a few wine coolers.

I'm sensing some tiny jealousy from this Moo. She chose to breed, but oh, her life is so haaaaaard and has she told you how haaaaaard it is yet? How her "date night" is comprised of watching some shitty chick flick on Netflix with Duh and how it qualifies as a date because they're on the same couch? They know they'll probably never have another real date night until the kid is in college or is dead, so they'll slap a "date" label on anything that involves brief contact (physical or visual) with their significant other.

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I wouldn’t trade my son for the world, and being a mom brings me far more joy than hardship, but from time to time (all the time) I do find myself missing the freedom to connect with my husband one-on-one on a more frequent basis.

There it is. It's All Worth It^TM. It's one or the other, Moo. Either you enjoy your husband and your freedom, or you hunker down and deal with the kids you chose to have. You cannot have both unless you're filthy rich and can pay a fleet of nannies to raise your spawn for you.

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myrna minkoff
yes, every night is date night for CF people. and we all stay out partying and drinking untl 2 am, sleep until noon every weekend, and have tons of free time. because none of us work long hours, or have any hobbies, obligations or responsiblities.

shut up, breeders.

I'm not a morning person at all so on the weekends I tend to sleep late. Like four or five o'clock in the afternoon late.

And I love telling my coworkers about it on Monday. Just to rub it in a little.

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the noodler
I'm not a morning person at all so on the weekends I tend to sleep late. Like four or five o'clock in the afternoon late.

And I love telling my coworkers about it on Monday. Just to rub it in a little.

Hey, I'm jealous of that! I used to do the same, but years of waking up early have conditioned my body so that it takes about a week of vacation before I can even sleep in until 10. This weekend I managed to sleep half an hour later than on a weekday. No pets and nobody else in the house and I still woke up at dawn o'fucking clock.

Every night is not date night for Mr S and myself, either.

We're not partygoers either so if it is a "date night" we'll just snuggle up and watch a movie.

The rest of the time I need my sleep.

"I wouldn’t trade my son for the world, and being a mom brings me far more joy than hardship, but from time to time (all the time) I do find myself missing the freedom to connect with my husband one-on-one on a more frequent basis."


here is what pisses me off about this breeder bullshit argument: you chose to have brats so you had to give up some stuff. big whoop! I chose to have 2 large dogs, so I have to vacuum my house every day. a friend of mine recently chose to accept her dream job but the downside is her commute is an hour each way. if you are a model you can't eat fast food every day. if you drive a big SUV there won't be as many parking spaces you can fit into. if you take an awesome, expensive vacation you will probably have to tighten your budget when you get home.

life is about compromises for all of us, every fucking day, not just breeders.

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myrna minkoff
"I wouldn’t trade my son for the world, and being a mom brings me far more joy than hardship, but from time to time (all the time) I do find myself missing the freedom to connect with my husband one-on-one on a more frequent basis."

life is about compromises for all of us, every fucking day, not just breeders.

They just don't get it.

Hell if they want to vent about no time together fine, but then they start comparing and wanting to punish people who made different choices. It's like trying to shame someone who doesn't have a long commute, or someone who saved up for a vacation. Then they say "it's all worth it" anyway. So what they can do is leave out the part where they criticize/shame/punish/guilt people who made different choices. But they just can't seem to do that.

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myrna minkoff

here is what pisses me off about this breeder bullshit argument: you chose to have brats so you had to give up some stuff. big whoop! I chose to have 2 large dogs, so I have to vacuum my house every day. a friend of mine recently chose to accept her dream job but the downside is her commute is an hour each way. if you are a model you can't eat fast food every day. if you drive a big SUV there won't be as many parking spaces you can fit into. if you take an awesome, expensive vacation you will probably have to tighten your budget when you get home.

People who have brats are often under the delusion that they are doing society a favor and use this delusion to poke/shame others. They start in on the takes a village to raise a brat nonsense.

People who buy dogs, take vacations, take a new job, or become a model don't harbor the delusion that their choices are doing a favor to society.

Well, it's Friday, which means date night again in my house, you lurking childed bitches! Take that up your sanctimonious asses and rotate! I had another go at that article and laughed my ass off. That is some funny shit, what people do to themselves.

Every night is not date night for my husband and I either. Most of the year, he lives in one state and I in another. He works and I am working on a PhD. Even during the summer, I had to answer emails as well as research and work on both a book and dissertation. Being a night person often meant he was in bed well before I was.
People with brats don't seem to understand that those of us without brats also have obligations.