DA: Child-free not Child-less

Abby gets called out for using childless instead of childfree.....I'm waiting on the shitstorm this will cause in the comments section:

Dear Abby

_______________________________________________________________

"It is better not to look like what you are; it is better to look like a bourgeois woman because then all the doors are open for you and then you can just go and make hell." - Marjane Satrapi

"Childfree makes it sound like children are a problem."

Exactly. That's what I like about it.

I like this response to the comment, "LW, if you are childless, then yes something is missing: a child":

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sensible person
No, there is not something missing...A standard issue adult does not "come with" children. I don't use the term childfree, but believe me, no children are missing from my life.

I think Abby's right to mirror the person who presents the problem, since only that person knows which description is more apt.

At least we are reaching a point where the distinction has become more common. Maybe parents will now begin to realize how incorrect it is to say they are having a "childfree" weekend because they have found someone to foist their children upon.

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Dorisan
At least we are reaching a point where the distinction has become more common. Maybe parents will now begin to realize how incorrect it is to say they are having a "childfree" weekend because they have found someone to foist their children upon.

I always thought that breeders co-opting the term CF was a secret admission that they regret having kids.

Because there is always one:

Wannamoo with hurt feewins: 'Refer to yourself as you wish letter writer, but understand that to someone who wants children and cannot have them "child free" is a slap in the face making their heartbreak seem desirable.'

Gonna go out on a limb and guess this woman is referring to herself as one who wants children and cannot have them. Live a little honey, cancer or a life threatening illness will put your hurt feewins in perspective.

Another one:

Bitter, party of one: Hey, while we're at it, let's change the term from homeless to home-free and clueless to clue-free!

I always find people who want to change terms to try to make their situation sound "nicer" feel like they're competing with people in the opposite situation or are not really as happy with their life choices as they think they are. Let's face it, the term "child-free" makes it sound like people who do have kids are burdened with them, while you're FREE, free as a bird to do anything you wish.

Get over it. If you're truly happy with your life then be so. Being happy with your choices means you don't feel the need to give the impression that people who have chosen a different path are having less fun than you are.

But we are having more fun in our opinions. And we are free, free as a bird to do anything we wish. But it isn't a competition, we all have the same choice to breed or no. The government doesn't mandate reproducing by gunpoint to some or any of us.

I say childfree in very limited circumstances to let others know that it is a conscious decision on my part to not have children. Typically to other child-free folks or to children or young adults only. Most of the time I don't call myself childfree because it isn't worth the flak, lifescript quoting or judgement that usually follows. Most importantly it exposes impressionable young people and children to the fact that having children is an option, not a requirement. Some of them may never have thought of it as an option previously.

If we weren't happy with not having kids then we'd refer to ourselves as childless.

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freya
Another one:

Bitter, party of one: Hey, while we're at it, let's change the term from homeless to home-free and clueless to clue-free!

I always find people who want to change terms to try to make their situation sound "nicer" feel like they're competing with people in the opposite situation or are not really as happy with their life choices as they think they are. Let's face it, the term "child-free" makes it sound like people who do have kids are burdened with them, while you're FREE, free as a bird to do anything you wish.

Get over it. If you're truly happy with your life then be so. Being happy with your choices means you don't feel the need to give the impression that people who have chosen a different path are having less fun than you are.

So this breeder thinks we're being defensive? You know, we wouldn't have to be defensive if breeders weren't always attacking us.

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At least we are reaching a point where the distinction has become more common. Maybe parents will now begin to realize how incorrect it is to say they are having a "childfree" weekend because they have found someone to foist their children upon.

We can only hope. I know some people might think using "childless" and "childfree" interchangeably isn't a big deal, or how parents think it's fine to call themselves "childfree" when they have some time away from their kids. WTF, that's like saying you just had your first lesbian experience because the lady at Victoria's Secret measured you for a bra and touched your boobs in the process. I bet women who are actually lesbian would have a problem with someone waving their flag incorrectly like that.

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Childfree makes it sound like children are a problem.

Well, they ARE when you don't want them. Why do so many people struggle to grasp the concept that not every single person wants to have kids? If a person doesn't want something in their life, then it means that thing would pose a problem to that person. This isn't difficult. Why should someone have something in their life that they don't want or like if they don't need to have it (and yeah, you don't need to have kids)?

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Let's face it, the term "child-free" makes it sound like people who do have kids are burdened with them, while you're FREE, free as a bird to do anything you wish.

No it doesn't, it makes it sound like the people who don't want them are happy without them. Children would be a burden to those who don't want them, not to those who do. Sounds like this bitch is a Moo who hates being a Moo and resents all the people who figured out that breeding sucks without actually having to do it first.

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Refer to yourself as you wish letter writer, but understand that to someone who wants children and cannot have them "child free" is a slap in the face making their heartbreak seem desirable.

Someone else's broken loins aren't my fucking problem. So, what, I'm supposed to not be childfree because someone out there is unable to have kids? Will my having kids I don't want (or being ashamed of my CF status) magically cure barren people of their infertility? That's like the logic of "finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa." I should eat everything on my plate because someone somewhere out there doesn't have food. Mmmkay, but how precisely does that help those starving people? Answer: It doesn't. If my choosing to not breed is a slap in the face to someone, then it's their own goddamn fault for getting so butt-hurt over my personal choice that will in no way affect their lives or their fertility.

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freya
Another one:

Bitter, party of one: Get over it. If you're truly happy with your life then be so. Being happy with your choices means you don't feel the need to give the impression that people who have chosen a different path are having less fun than you are..

POT meet fucking KETTLE. This is EXACTLY what breeders do. They try to make us feel as if our life isn't as full as theirs because we don't have chyyyldren. According to them, we will never really know love, because close relationships with your parents/grandparents/friends and pets don't count. According to them, our life has no purpose, because no office or achievement can ever /really/ satisfy you as much as reproduction, never mind that it is a faculty we share with bacteria and baboons. According to them there is something fundamentally wrong with us, because reproduction is a necessary condition for humans / real women, again, tossing aside the fact that literally EVERY LIVING THING can potentially reproduce, and it has nothing at all to do with humans. Ugh. I hate these people, truly I do. I should like to write an open letter to these idiots, but I doubt they can read.

Lock him up or put him down.
Stolen from Shiny.