Moving... New addition update

Okay..I'm back. Working myself to death trying to get boxes in from the garage and toting them up a flight of 16 steps to the bedroom. I finally gave up for the evening.

So.. they nephew showed up on Tuesday to help us unload a storage shed and get that all in our garage. (we have another one to empty and he'll be back to help us with that this coming Tuesday) He does seem a bit different to me.... maybe more mature.. and was more careful with the boxes and stuff than I expected. I have seen him do physical work before and he was so rushed and careless. So maybe this is a positive for him. He didn't mention the loaf much at all. Did say that she had a rough night the night before with gas... and that was only after I mentioned that one of my dogs had some vomiting and diarrhea from the stress of the move.

He only said one other thing that was noteworthy on this visit. He said "She (the kid) costs so much now and she is only 2 months old. I can't imagine what it will be like when she's older"
I heard that and I said "well..it's something you might have wanted to consider earlier... but now you're learning the hard way"

He just shook his head in agreement on that one. Maybe there's hope for him... and in that hope... I hope he does not let Harpitina talk him into an second one.

That's about all for that visit. He'll be back on Tuesday.

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starlady
He said "She (the kid) costs so much now and she is only 2 months old. I can't imagine what it will be like when she's older"
I heard that and I said "well..it's something you might have wanted to consider earlier... but now you're learning the hard way"

He just shook his head in agreement on that one. Maybe there's hope for him... and in that hope... I hope he does not let Harpitina talk him into an second one.

That's about all for that visit. He'll be back on Tuesday.

Wait until age 10 when she's asking for a smartphone and data plan. Wait until age 16 when she's asking for a prom dress that costs thousands of dollars. Wait until age 18 when she wants to get a worthless-studies degree from a private university that costs $60K per year.

I'm often told that while kids are outrageously expensive, reason to have them is that "pay off" is in the currency of Kodak Moments and old age care. I am very skeptical of this claim. I believe you have better odds in Vegas.

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StudioFiftyFour
I'm often told that while kids are outrageously expensive, reason to have them is that "pay off" is in the currency of Kodak Moments and old age care. I am very skeptical of this claim. I believe you have better odds in Vegas.

Yeah. Visit any nursing home to see how that old age care is working out.

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StudioFiftyFour
I'm often told that while kids are outrageously expensive, reason to have them is that "pay off" is in the currency of Kodak Moments and old age care. I am very skeptical of this claim. I believe you have better odds in Vegas.

Join an organization such as Big Brothers Big Sisters where a child will appreciate everything you do to help him/her and you can have plenty of fun Kodak Moments and no drudgery or outrageous expenses.

Told dh that I posted in here that I hoped that Nephew would not give in to another kid when Harpitina got all baybee rabid again. He said "don't count on it... he'll have another one"

Where does the stupid end? Why don' they learn? When they complain about the cost and the inconvenience of ONE... they go and try for another one.

Dh said something really stupid today. He was talking about Nephew and how they are scrimping. Then he said that Nephew seems to have matured.
I said "well, he better mature real quick and smarten up and not have another one... at least till they can afford it"

Dh told me to "lighten up " (on that subject)

THEN... he came out with one big zinger. He said to me "You act like your're jealous that they have a baybee and you don't"

WTF??? Is this the guy I've been married to for almost 40 years? Where does he get this crap> ME .. jealous of someone who has a kid and no money? Ummm... I think NOT!

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starlady
Dh said something really stupid today. He was talking about Nephew and how they are scrimping. Then he said that Nephew seems to have matured.
I said "well, he better mature real quick and smarten up and not have another one... at least till they can afford it"

Dh told me to "lighten up " (on that subject)

Lighten up starlady, there is only a potential life at stake here that deserves better! Funny ha ha!

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starlady
THEN... he came out with one big zinger. He said to me "You act like your're jealous that they have a baybee and you don't"

WTF??? Is this the guy I've been married to for almost 40 years? Where does he get this crap> ME .. jealous of someone who has a kid and no money? Ummm... I think NOT!

Maybe you're jealous that they can afford a baby...but wait. They cannot afford it. This makes no sense. It would be different if someone you knew purchased a learjet. I could see being envious of their wealth and not being ashamed to admit it either.

Hope he isn't one of those men who immediately assume a woman is jealous when talking about babies. Maybe he is mistaking your defensiveness (as in self preservation from being exposed to the loaf) as jealousy?

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freya
Hope he isn't one of those men who immediately assume a woman is jealous when talking about babies. Maybe he is mistaking your defensiveness (as in self preservation from being exposed to the loaf) as jealousy?

I hate that one the most. If you ever comment that someone was stupid for breeding, there is always a genius who will explain to you that you are jealous. In my experience, it's usually a woman.

I think what annoys me, in this case anyway, is all the positive attention they get when what they did was just a careless hormonal act under the circumstances. Now they get checks from his parunts and his grandparunts... and they get free babysitting from her aunt and are being flooded with bits of furniture, the occasional free case of formula and free diapers. Now they are on the 'family dole' ... can food stamps, WIC, or welfare be far behind?

Okay.. so.. now I am supposed to be 'jealous' of that.. when we are financially comfortable, in a new house, driving nice cars and only one of us has to work? I don't have to worry who will stay with my kyd when I go out... I just put them in the master bathroom with water and a bed and be on my way. I don't think jealous is anywhere near the right word for what I feel. It's just... a 'what were you thinking' kind of feeling. They just thought they couldn't wait to get started on their fambly and that 'someone would provide'. My feeling is THEY should provide... not the rest of us.

Just adopt this mantra "not my circus not my monkies" if the rest of the family wants to flush their $$ down the toilet let em, they arent getting a dime from you thats all that matters.

Was just talking about this with a friend the other night re: claps on the back for thoughtless behaviour.
There was a time when being responsible and thinking things through was considered a good thing!
Now you are seen as rebellious for actually considering your choices and your future!
When did it all go wrong?! Being an idiot is rewarded these days. Sorry your H came out with that little gem Starlady. It's not jealousy you feel but frustration. Frustration because these freeloaders are expecting everyone to bail them out.

might be diplomatic if you got off harpetinas case. let her hang herself.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Not on her case.. we never communicate. I do not speak to nephew much about her or the kid. Just conversation between me and dh.

Nephew was here again yesterday helping us get in the final load of boxes and stuff. He only mentioned the kyd before he left saying he was so tired because she is keeping him up at night lately. I just shook my head and said "it's just beginning" He agreed and said "and next she'll be running around and into everything" He's realizing what is ahead... but he did say that Harpitina is a bit neurotic about the kyd's care and keeps telling him he should take a class on child care. He does better with the loaf then she does. Where would he find time for a class on child care when he is now working 50 hours a week AND taking care fo the kyd when he's not working? I think Harpi is drivin' him a bit nuts.

But..yeah...they will learn on their own. They don't need us to point anything else. We are sitting back and enjoying the developments as they come.

I'm going to echo twocents sentiments. Perhaps your DH is giving you grief because he takes offense that this is his family you are disgusted with. My own DH has a niece that did deplorable things to another family member. While we both cannot stand this niece (who I believe is faking being pregnant to get my MIL to fawn over her) and her spouse who is equally disgusting in his own right, the fact that we cut them off is reason enough to not bring them up in conversation. However I am a bit more vengeful than he is and I'm learning its best to just keep my mouth shut.

Yes... I will post a story about this maybe pregnant maybe not niece when my online radar picks up more clues. Right now I just have some cryptic Pinterest stuff I was able to dig up so nothing is solid proof yet. (the Pinterest stuff is all about miscarriage and the baby she never knew but I can't tell if its WRT her MC or just comments to someone else's post so the mystery continues....)

I can understand. We don't understand the stupid behind breeders. and why the hell should we

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Guess you just have to know dh's family and lack of communication he has with them.. He dislikes all of them ... except nephew. He is not fond of nephew's wife at all... just as I am not. He does feel sorry for the kid and Nephew for being caught up in this stuff. I have been insulting dh's family for 40 years now... and even he insults them....and he and I have laughs over it. He just wants to keep the relationship with the nephew... and no one else... not nephew's sister or dh's brother or parents....only the nephew. It's weird really.

I think that if the kyd were to be brought to my house by Nephew ONLY and not Harpitina then I could accept it better. I just have had bad vibes with her since I first met her. Sometimes we just do not click with people.....and believe me... I did try. She is a bossy shrew and that's the way it is. OH... and nephew confessed to me yesterday that she is a sloppy house keeper and he is sick of the clutter. He said "we are way overdue for a yard sale at my place but she'll (Harpi) will never let the stuff go"

Oh my.........