NIPPING THE SHIT IN THE BUD

Over on another message board, I began reading about a girl who writes she doesn't want judgment but advice about her sitch. Sitch being she's a teen mom and that she wants to go to a college that is hard to get into, but where she got accepted. Because of the pregnancy and wanting to stay close to home and close to the baby daddy because he wants to care for the child. He, also can't go to the college where HE'D LIKE TO because of "the baby". She will now have to go to a local junior college. She also stated that if she attended this other college, she would have no support to raise the baby. However, she still desperately wants to go to the big college. She needs to know what should she do.

I applaud her for taking the initiative to go to college regardless of her having a kyd, however, if she was as smart, as she claims she is, shouldn't she have gotten an abortion when she first found out she was pregnant instead of going thru with a pregnancy and having to care for a baby? Then she wouldn't have this problem. I mean, I wonder what the reasoning was for her to keep the baby in the first place.

Geez.........I swear most of these teenagers are still making the stupidest decisions about having sex. A lot of them still DON'T FUCKING GET IT.

My guess is (caveat: not too familiar with abortion laws):

1) she was at the age that she needed parental consent to get an abortion
2) Paruhnts didn't want her getting an abortion

Matush Wrote:
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> My guess is (caveat: not too familiar with
> abortion laws):
>
> 1) she was at the age that she needed parental
> consent to get an abortion
> 2) Paruhnts didn't want her getting an abortion

More likely:
3) She thought having a baby would be cute and fun, and all her friends were doing it.
or
4) She belongs to some weird religion where pre-marital sex is OK but abortion is a horrible sin.

Yep. Nip it RIGHT in the bud so you won't have to worry about this bullshit later on. Could have been any 1 of the 4 reasons above that she didn't abort. Whatever the reason, it was just plain STUPID.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Yep. Nip it RIGHT in the bud so you won't have to
> worry about this bullshit later on. Could have
> been any 1 of the 4 reasons above that she didn't
> abort. Whatever the reason, it was just plain
> STUPID.

Yes, very STUPID. I'm pretty sure she KNEW she wanted to go to a certain college ahead of time, but she and her boyfriend decided to act stupidly and now she is pregnant and can't go to the school of her choice. DER.................

So then, what's wrong with adoption? If I got pregnant, I doubt I could get an abortion and live with myself, but you can bet that the same day I found out I was pregnant I'd already be looking into who I get to take the damn kid off my hands...is there some reason her kid would've been undesirable to adopt? And, hell, it's still not too late for her! If the kid's still a baby, it won't even remember her anyway.

Unfortunately, the stigma of allowing an unplanned child to be adopted is now as great as the stigma of keeping an out-of-wedlock one was a few decades ago.
My mother worked for many years in adoption, and even the parents who agreed that it was in the child's best interests to be adopted would refuse to sign anything, forcing Social Services to go to court and have the child "freed". It was more acceptable, socially and personally, to have the child taken from them than to admit that they'd agreed to adoption.

K12144 Wrote:
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> So then, what's wrong with adoption? If I got
> pregnant, I doubt I could get an abortion and live
> with myself, but you can bet that the same day I
> found out I was pregnant I'd already be looking
> into who I get to take the damn kid off my
> hands...is there some reason her kid would've been
> undesirable to adopt? And, hell, it's still not
> too late for her! If the kid's still a baby, it
> won't even remember her anyway.

I totally agree, but again, she insists on keeping the baby. She didn't mention her parents in all this, so who knows? Of course, the other folks in this thread are all congratulating her on her pregnancy (WTF?! She's a TEEN MOM. There is nothing congratulatory about THAT SHIT!) and giving her "motherly" advice. I just don't get this encouragement for teens to have babies..........

VLM Wrote:
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> K12144 Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > So then, what's wrong with adoption? If I got
> > pregnant, I doubt I could get an abortion and
> live
> > with myself, but you can bet that the same day
> I
> > found out I was pregnant I'd already be looking
> > into who I get to take the damn kid off my
> > hands...is there some reason her kid would've
> been
> > undesirable to adopt? And, hell, it's still
> not
> > too late for her! If the kid's still a baby,
> it
> > won't even remember her anyway.
>
> I totally agree, but again, she insists on keeping
> the baby. She didn't mention her parents in all
> this, so who knows? Of course, the other folks in
> this thread are all congratulating her on her
> pregnancy (WTF?! She's a TEEN MOM. There is
> nothing congratulatory about THAT SHIT!) and
> giving her "motherly" advice. I just don't get
> this encouragement for teens to have
> babies..........


Eons ago, I knew a woman who lived in subsidized housing but was HAPPY how her teen daughter was knocked up. The grandmoo-to-be was angry how her responsible ex-husband and his second wife made it clear how a teen moo was no longer going to live with them. I do not blame the man and his wife for not wanting to deal with the girl's lack of responsibility. I told this woman how she consigned her daughter's life to be just like hers -- in a crime-infested housing project -- just because SHE thought it was neat to be a grandmama. Totally ignorant...