#2150 - Grandparents paying for Sprogleigh's Edumacation

I have heard this ad, or at least something like it. And I am thinking, WTF??? WHY should grandparents feel obligated to fork over two grand a year?

And if theses grandparents think, even for one minute, that the money the parenst are *saving* is going for their own retirement, they'd best think again. When they come to visit the grandsprogs, they will BEHOLD all of the Hugh Jass Overpriced Crap...from the McMansion to the behemoth S-Moo-Vs, to the giant plasma TV. THAT'S where all of the money is going!

WHY should grandparents pay for the kids education? Why, because someone's kid is ALWAYS everyone else's problem. My thought is if you can't afford the kid now or in the future, DON'T HAVE IT. Pure and simple. This bullshit of it taking a village to raise a child is crap - it's always the village idiots that have the kids in the first place.

I have been unpopular on another CF board, Yahoo...to be exact, for my belief how a child is not owed a college education by the parents or grandparents. Many young adults and adults (even the childfree-by-choice) believe they are "entitled" to a university education paid for by Mommy and Daddy. I hate that word, "entitled".

No one is entitled to a damned thing except to not be hurt by others and to be paid an agreed-upon wage for doing a job. Parents are required to house, educate, and feed their children until the age of 18. I don't see pushing a young adult out of the house just because s/he "came of legal age". However, adulthood comes with responsibility.

After twelve years of schooling, a young adult needs to learn to take care of his his/her own needs. If the parents cannot afford college or feel they are not owed to pay for it, the kid/adult can get a job like anyone else.

"FUCK WORK"

i thought i wasnt smart enough, and there were financial reasons as well, as to why i didnt go to university, i went on a training scheme that i worked and studied at the same time.. but i didnt want to bankrupt my mum (we had lost my dad 2 years before and so left us.. financially insecure) it would have been unfair to her for me to go.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

mercurior Wrote:
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> i thought i wasnt smart enough, and there were
> financial reasons as well, as to why i didnt go to
> university, i went on a training scheme that i
> worked and studied at the same time.. but i didnt
> want to bankrupt my mum (we had lost my dad 2
> years before and so left us.. financially
> insecure) it would have been unfair to her for me
> to go.

You are a good son. Most young people would not give a damn if their mother was suffering financially as a widow or a divorced woman. The demands for the four-year summer camps would still be there. Even if the parents are well-to-do, they do not owe their offspring anything.

I love this joke about a kid telling his dad how he wanted something. Dad says, "No." Kid says how they are rich so he is "owed" the goodie. Dad reminds kid how it is the father who is wealthy and NOT the child! Right on...

"FUCK WORK"

When I was in highschool my parents told me that I could live with them no cost as long as I was in higher education, but that the higher education had to come out of my pocket.

I had no problem with that as I firmly believed that they did there job raising me to adulthood, anything past that was a bonus. Also if I screwed up, it would be my money wasted not thiers.

I had two jobs during the summer between my last year of highschool and starting post secondary, not much fun but glad I did it.

Secondary education is not a "right" you want it, earn it.

I had loans, scholarships and worked my ass off to get through college and medical school. I did not expect my parents to cash in their retirement savings or go bankrupt just to put me through school. I worked more part time jobs (waitron/retail wage slave/bartender/etc) that most of these brats consider beneath them.

And my generation (45) are the senior managers who will be making decisions on where these brats go in corporate America. Think they will have as easy a time with it as they think? Not bloody likely.

Adulthood is being delayed as young adults believe their parents are to go into debt so they can go to academic summer camp for four years. It is like that family friend and many others I knew in the SF Bay Area who would pay out big bucks to send their overgrown brats to university to have the adult-sprogs return home after a semester or even two years because it was "too hard". Maybe, the big brats would attend community college for a year. All that money is down the drain.

In some divorce settlements, the father *is* required to pay for Snotlina's college and pay brat support until the "kid" is 21 along with keeping Bratley on the job's health plan which costs much extra. What the fuck happened to age 18 being the cut-off date for this sort of financial extortion??? I would like to see a judge in family court order a mother to do the same...but we know that would never happen!

I want to tell these entitlement-minded brats to grow the fuck up! Dr. Dan, you are right how the workplace is going to be a mess when these mollycoddled idiots start to "take over". Like a co-worker in 1982 who quit her fast-food job since her moo said she would support her if she went to community college full-time, these young adults do not know HOW to work. They also believe they should be paid for looking "pretty". That was the girl at the burger joint. I doubt she never got that degree but cruised until she found a husband.

I also have to add my two cents again after seeing Spring Break stuff on TV. I am sure the breeders of these overgrown brats also pay for this drunken-orgy vacation for their "grown-up" sprogs. I understand the need for anyone to take a vacation after intense study or working hard. However, these "adults" do nothing but drink, flash themselves, and often get into trouble with the law over Break.

These assholes feel entitled to turn a nice vacation place into a fucking cesspool. The money may be good for the merchants but a month+ of Spring Breakers is hell for the residents who must deal with the noise. A couple of residents have been hit by drunk drivers. Daytona Beach's residents dreaded Spring Break every single year and preferred the nasty bikers during Bike Week over the teenyboppers. It was that bad! One lawyer in the Panhandle part of Florida makes most of his money during this time having to represent these college idiots in court for DUI charges, indecent exposure, or drug issues.

The show I saw took place in Texas. I believe it was Padre Island. There were complaints of Mexicans crossing the border and sexually assaulting the young women. Rape is rape and it is wrong. However, I feel no sympathy for the "victims" as they would lift their bikini tops often feeling themselves up or shaking their tits to the boys as well as drop their pants. Anyone doing this is basically asking for sexual attention. This IS very different than blaming a girl for wearing a mini-skirt and minding her own business.

More parents and grandparents need to cut off the money tree for the college-bound young people. Let these supposed "adults" pay for their schooling and "vacations". Maybe they will appreciate their education more if they have to put in the sweat equity. I do not see how these Spring Breakers are going to be productive members of society if they cannot handle themselves on a vacation.

And...I am sure the "girls gone wild" crowd will want to paper-shred their little pasts once they want that husband and life in the 'burbs as a corporate man does not want a wife's photos from Spring Break to come back to them so everyone can see her squeezing or shaking her tits for the guys on the beach.

You know, I've never had a spring break. When the time rolled around I always thought "Yay! I get to work full time for a week!"

I heard that commercial for the first time last week, thinking, you've got to be kidding me!? I admit my dad's parents contributed $1,000 a year in savings bonds from birth to 12 for each of us. It was extremely generous, and at least on my end, greatly appreciated, but NOT expected or asked for. Half the grand kids didn't even use theirs for education, as my grandparents requested, and just blew them as soon as they could get their hands on them--what a waste of money my grandparents worked hard for and had NO obligation to give!

My own education was a struggle because of the screwy financial aid situation in the US. I did very well in highschool, began college courses my junior year, and had some scholarships, as well as the bonds from my grandparents, but that was about all I could get. I was not allowed to stay at my parents' house unless I cowered to verbal and emotional abuse from my mom. (Not to sound like I had a bad childhood; I didn't to any extent, but as I got older, if I didn't meet her unrealistic expectations it was over. We're not talking "don't come home drunk" or "you can't have guys in your room" or "don't miss curfew" we're talking not dressing girly enough, political views, getting a b, gaining weight--anything she thought would bring shame from the Jones'. We've actually reconciled, but at that point, I wanted out, especially since I had to pay rent to stay there anyway.)

At 19 I moved in with my boyfriend (who was asked to leave at 16 because there wasn't room for him) and took on a full time job as well as full time school. I had no credit, and couldn't get a single loan without a cosigner, and grants were a joke. In the US, if you show some responsibilty and use birth control, you're considered a "dependant student" whether you live with your parents or not. There were women at work who worked part time to my full, and had their entire education paid for because they got knocked up, and their educations were "for the chiiiilldreen!" Financial aid advisors informed me my parents should be footing most of the bill, which is a really asinine assuption--they wouldn't have even if I had lived there. Eventually I had to cut down to 3/4 or 1/2 time, depending on what I could pay out of my own pocket. At 23 I earned a degree in math, which I had been working on since I was 16. It's my proudest accomplishment, and I am so thankful for what my grandparents gave me, and the support I had from my boyfriend. (We're taking turns, and he's currently in law school. We plan to get married after we're each satisfied with where our educations stand.)

Don't get me wrong, part of me is happy about how hard I had to work for my education--I truly earned what I have, but it was VERY frustrating. I still don't get why a woman with the almighty sprog was more deserving of an education than me, and who knows how many other hard working people. I'm also appalled at these kids, who chronologically aren't that far from my own age, treating college like a bar, whorehouse, or dayspa, because it's just given to them. Spring break for me meant I only had to work, and could spend some much needed time with the other half. Granted, had I been able to take a vacation, acting like a whore and trying to get alcohol poisoning is not how I'd have liked to spend it, but I can't fathom thinking I was owed a vacation just because I had to study! I also don't understand how these people do so poorly. I worked full time, often more, and still maintained my gpa. I suppose that's part of paying for it yourself though. When it comes out of your own pocket--rather than that of your parents or US taxpayers--it means more.

On the other side, my best friend also did very well in high school, and since she put in her effort, her mother saw fit to fund her education--with some conditions:

1. She paid for what was being earned. If my friend didn't put in the effort, her mom didn't put in the funding.
2. If it wasn't necessary for school, my friend had to start saving her money. This went for clothes, vacations, transportation, etc.
3. If my friend dropped out or failed, she was required by legal contract to pay back every cent her mother put in.

There were others too, but I don't remember them. I think more parents who are paying for school should do something like that. I think the US government needs to rethink who is a dependant student, and who isn't. (Especially in light of the fact that several of the full ride moos DID live at home, and get help from their families.) I also think financial aid should be cut off for anyone who isn't doing their part by maintaining decent grade or making it to class. Nothing pissed me off more than watching these welfare hags complain they were failing because "it's sooooo hard to make it to class when you have a baybeee." Then WHY are you getting money that could be helping someone who genuinely WANTS an education? Especially when it MY money!

Anyway, sorry this ran so long, this is just one matter that really, really boils my blood! To end on a happy note, I'm currently applying to grad schools, and I'm finally old enough to be considered an independant student!

I would be interested in knowing if there's a correlation between people who have to pay their own way as adults and being childfree. I had to work my butt off and put myself in debt to get through school, and I didn't enjoy the career outcomes I might have had if I had been able to take advantage of some educational programs rather than having to make all decisions based on what's going to make the most money right now. As a result, I feel in my late 30s like I am just now beginning to be able to feel financially secure and enjoy my life (sorry, I'm not the kind of person who can enjoy my life if I don't have a good job, some material comforts, and no debt). I feel like my whole adult life has been nothing but hard choices and sacrifices and putting enjoyable things off for later, and I can't imagine making any further sacrifices for a child. Thus, no child.

I might also say that as my parents applied the "no help after high school" plan to me, I apply that plan to my father as well. Now, there's more going on here than economics--he was physically abusive and continues to be verbally abusive--but still, I do hope he has some sort of plan for who will take care of him when he can do so no longer, because it won't be me and I'm not helping financially with any of his needs either. I do think a decision to not financially help your offspring with college should be viewed as a decision to not receive any help from one's offspring in old age.

When I was in college, (and I plan on going back) I got sick and tired on the welfare queen whores who would come in, then turn around, and flunk out. Well, we didn't not need THEM anyways. College, or education for that matter, should NEVER be handed down. Everyone should work hard for it instead. I paid for my college. out of bonds. My bonds ran low, I've given college a break, not I feel I can go back and be able to afford it. I didn't not put the bonds to waste.

During the supposed "Spring Break," I just lounged around at home. I'm a homebody. No going on some lavish vaction making an total ass of myself, unlike some breeder's "grown-up" brats.

Childfree rule!

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lab mom

I went to college twice. The first time my parents not only registered me, but paid for everything. I seriously didn't want to experience any more school right away, but they believed that a college education was important and felt that if they didn't get me started right away I'd never go. The second time I paid for everything.
The first trip down the college rabbit hole, I ended up getting kicked out with a .5 gpa after a year and a half, a direct result of spending the majority of my time drunk or hung over (mmmm...self medication).
Then I spent a few years working full time in a variety of crapass jobs and learning that while I could make enough money to do what I want, I'd have to work a shitty job that I hated. I applied for student loans and restarted my eduational carear on my own at the local technical college. After completing something known as the "college transfer program", I was able to enter a better 4 year college as a junior and after a couple years, completed a degree that showed potential employers I could do busy work, follow instructions and had a modicum of reasoning skills.

So there you go.