Single Mothers Rant

“My child is intense.”

“He’s just impulsive.”

“She’s unusually stubborn.”

I had to laugh when I read these. Once we complained to my older sister about how LOOOOUUUDDD her son was. She actually explained it away by telling us that we were mistaken...."Brian is not actually yelling, his voice just carries".

Bahhhhhh!!

On the bright side, "Brian" is graduating from the Air Force Academy in May, where he served as Squadron Leader for three years. Good thing he had a voice that carried so well!

Well that is good news! Congrads to Brian! Unfortunately, not all of the stories of kids raised by one pahrunt turn out so well. Too bad all the situations don't have happy endings like this one. Most kids lash out, feel entitled, bitter and pissed off over the fact that they don't have both pahrunts.

SO and his ex divorced when his kids were 6 and 9. They are now 18 and 21. The 18 year old son STILL harbors anger issues over the divorce and has made his life a mess by lashing out, rebelling, etc. He said time and time again the reason he is so difficult was because he wants his parents back together. Well kid, guess what? You've fucked NO ONE but yourself.

He has a D average for all 4 years of high school. He will graduate by the skin of his teeth this year. Once the child support stops at that time, his mother will want him out of her house. And where will he go? Certainly not to college. Looks like junior has got a rude awakening coming.

"Modern day children are narcissistic, lazy, weak, emotionally stunted, neurotic, manipulative, dishonest, imaged obsessed, greedy, obnoxious wastes of human life."

The best description of today's brats I've heard yet!

"He said time and time again the reason he is so difficult was because he wants his parents back together. Well kid, guess what? You've fucked NO ONE but yourself."


If a 7-year-old is having trouble with his parents' divorce and behaving a bit badly, I'd feel sorry for him. An 18-year-old ought to friggin' know better. When he's 30, he'll still be blaming them for his own crappy decisions.

Oh for fuck's sake...life ain't fair...the sky is blue and cry me a river with all of the dysfunctional family shit. My family was a textbook case of dysfunction. My moo-ther and duhd are violent, sadistic alcoholics. My siblings are worthless and I was always told that my desire for an education devalued at every possible second. The only purpose my family served was as a bad example and as a driving force for me to fight hard to never be like them.

I have zero sympathy for kids these days. Zero. All of this counseling bullshit does is constantly make them into victims and not responible for their own actions. I know people need therapy, but this victimization shit is way out of fucking hand.

OK. There's a big pink elephant in the middle of the room here and I'm going to out it. I absolutely, emphatically and categorically refuse to accept that men have no reproductive rights. If a man can't take a stand and stick to it, if a man allows a woman to wield sex over him to such an extent that he would reproduce against his own wishes, then he can open wide and take a big bite of the shit sandwich that he helped to make.

Folks, if the man doesn't want kids, he tells the woman he doesn't want more kids (or any kids at all as the case may be). If she says she does, then this is what we commonly call a "crossroads". It's very simple. She can choose to be with him with the understanding that he will be getting a vasectomy to ensure that there are no "accidents". This is essentially calling her bluff. If she buckles, then guess what folks? He just dodged a bullet.

Why is this so difficult? Why is the woman to blame when the man can't take charge of what's rightly his? If a man is reproductive-capable and has sex with a woman, he is basically consenting to her will of reproduction as she will be the one to bear any resulting offspring.

The author of this article is fun to read, but damn, she seems to hold women to a much higher standard than men. To me, that's the heart of the problem here.

men have less reproductive rights than women, not none at all, just less.

for example, if a woman was to on purpose gets pregnant without the mans consent, as in poking holes in condoms, taking a used condom and using a turkey baster. shouldnt the man be able to say look i never agreed to becoming a father. having a kid is a long term commitment in terms of money, and other intangibles.

if the man finds out it isnt his child, should he pay for it, the mother can claim he is the father and pay for years, but when its found out that its not his, does the man have no rights to say this isnt my kid, why am i paying.

part of the problem is, when my fiancee says she wants a tubal, i mean she really wants it, cf women and other women say i the man should be the one instead, its all about your body, and your rights. if i want a vasectomy isnt it my decision, just like having a tubal is your decision, they want it both ways, they dont want kids, but they want someone else to solve that problem. if you dont want kids you get a tubal or a vasectomy, dont put the need/blame on someone else.

and as for holding women to a higher standard, its not the authors idea, the whole country holds single mothers to the higher standard because they claim a higher standard.

men have rights too, but they are frequently over shadowed by single mothers rights, there is a systemic pro mother policy in public use. even if the man has never been with the woman or even in the same state, he could be called as being the father.

http://www.reason.com/news/show/29035.html

if he doesnt want to be a father or another father, then as the article says, he may lose everything, and end up in dire straits, all for her want of another child. theres been cases where the need for that almighty brat, destroys a family, and frequently its the man that has to pay.

"a man is not allowed to say “enough is enough” or “we can’t afford it” or “I’m not sure I can be as good a Father if I spread myself too thin” lest he be labeled an insensitive clod"

"If a man asks his wife to have more children because he always wanted a large family, he’s a sexist pig. If a woman does it, she’s simply exercising her biological rights. If a man asks his wife if they can limit the size of their family because he’s stressed out enough as it is he’s…a sexist pig. If a woman does it? Duh. She’s exercising her biological rights"

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

APPLAUSE FOR PINK!!!

I do believe that being raised in a single-parent home does fuck you up. For example, I don't believe I was just "playing the victim" when I was in elementary school and everyone would point their fingers at me and whisper: "That's the girl with no dad." Thereby setting me up for a future of feeling "different" - left out and unwanted.

It messes you up big time when the one man who's supposed to love you unconditionally doesn't give a frack about you. And it lasts a lifetime.

I'll chime in and say that my parents' marriage was and is to this day extremely dysfunctional. While I was growing up, my dad was strict and critical to an abusive degree. I couldn't even hold a pencil right, for fuck's sake. There were maaaany nights as a child when I'd cry myself to sleep PRAYING that my parents would divorce or my dad would die. Isn't that awful? Lurking breeders would love that one, I'm sure.

This could have been the immature wishes of a young child, but to this day (I'm 46), I still firmly believe my brother and I would have been far, FAR better off without my dad in the picture.

So from my POV, being from a divorced family (remember that term "broken home?") isn't always the most horrible thing that can happen to you. Cry me a river.

there are always and will always be exceptions to every situation, my fiancee for one, and she turned out quite nice.

so dont read it and think we mean everyone, just read the majority.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

anon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'll chime in and say that my parents' marriage
> was and is to this day extremely dysfunctional.
> While I was growing up, my dad was strict and
> critical to an abusive degree. I couldn't even
> hold a pencil right, for fuck's sake. There were
> maaaany nights as a child when I'd cry myself to
> sleep PRAYING that my parents would divorce or my
> dad would die. Isn't that awful? Lurking breeders
> would love that one, I'm sure.
>
> This could have been the immature wishes of a
> young child, but to this day (I'm 46), I still
> firmly believe my brother and I would have been
> far, FAR better off without my dad in the
> picture.
>
> So from my POV, being from a divorced family
> (remember that term "broken home?") isn't always
> the most horrible thing that can happen to you.
> Cry me a river.

I grew up in a house with total "chaos management". I can attest the scars are there even in my 40's. I do go to a 12-Step group about other issues along with the ones I mentioned. However, I know I cannot excuse every single thing due to my childhood such as people who commit crimes and then claim it was because they were molested or had no dad. Growing up in a divorced home is better than dealing with violence or verbal abuse. I had no issue of my mom being divorced. The issues are about a man who lived with us for four years who was an abuser.

Regarding taking responsibility for contraception, I can play both sides of the fence. Both sexes need to be pro-active. Too many men are willing to believe a woman who claims to be on the Pill or says she cannot conceive. Women also need to get the tubal rather than nag the guy to get the Big V if they know they absolutely do not want children. I got a tubal because I know I never wanted those babies and needed to protect myself. I sure as hell am not going to depend on another person to do it for me since *I* am the one who gets pregnant!

My real beef with the rant is the tone that all WOMEN are to blame. Statements like "What kind of evil, nasty, person forces his reproductive choices on his partner who is so clearly close to the breaking point? I’ll tell you who does that: Women. Women do that every single day when they demand allowance to plan the size of the family without any input whatsoever from their husbands." or "Women are considered absolutes when it comes to parenting and they demand a final say in every aspect of the child’s life." and "My personal fantasy is that women, as a whole, will learn to recognize the value both parents have in the lives of their children."

That includes every woman on here, and every women we know who is a responsible and decent person, childed status aside. To say "don't read it" or "read "women" to mean "mothers"" is bogus. It's written WOMEN, and the tone is such that all women secretly want children, will go to any lengths to get them, and once they do they turn into insane Moozillas. Which is Completely False, and I would hope we all know it. Hell, even if you do read it to just concern mothers, it's still bogus. Not every mother is a baby obsessed, money sucking monster. Not every mother is to blame for an absent father, and not every mother is an evil she-devil hell bent on immasculating the father of her children.

The reason some kids are such self absorbed assholes is generally the fault of PARENTS, present or not. It only takes one person constantly stroking your ego, telling you that you are the best, never letting you face the consequences of your lazyness or stupidity, teaching you that things have more value than people, to turn a kid into a ego driven monster from hell. Having two parents doing that doesn't make it any better, but much, much worse. To have one person (say the ever present mother) build you up to be the greatest thing since sliced bread, and have another person show through example that you don't really have to be responsible for anything (say the absent father), is just as bad.

Seriously, quit blaming the individual genders as a whole, because it takes a couple to both make and ruin a kid. A pox on both their houses for having children they refuse to raise (properly).

i read it , and i know there are exceptions to the general womanhood, but i have found the majority seem like the articles idea of women. maybe its bad luck on my part.

but i never say all as i know there are always going to be exceptions to every rule. most of the cf are exceptions..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I totally hear you, Feh! It does take two pepole to make and ruin a child. That is why I always advise both genders to be pro-active. A lying bitch can ruin a man's life as well as a woman's life being ruined by a man convincing her that he will be a good father and mate only to leave by the time the novelty wears off by the toddler's second birthday.

I do get annoyed with women who claim to be childfree-by-choice but refuse to get a tubal but insists that the man does the deed. Each person must take responsibility for his or her reproductive rights and options. If a man is certain that he does not want any children ever, he needs to look into a vasectomy or be prepared to carry around condoms. A woman must look at a tubal if she feels the same.

Religious right-wingers love to blame women for sexuality. On Cafe Press, one forced birth vendor sells t-shirts that say: "You Gave Up Your Choice When You Got Pregnant." The pro-lifers love to make the snotty remark of how women need to keep their legs closed if they do not want those babies but never EVER tell a man to keep his dick in his pants so he does not participate in those little babies being born!

rowan/faust wants a tubal, for HER own peace of mind, not because i told her to have one, but because she wants on, i use protection because i know it would kill her and kill me to have a kid, i she has said if i want one later then its my choice, but she will be behind me 100%, just like i am behind her 100%.

she will have hers first, because she wants it more passionatly and i will pay half. because i am there to support her choice

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

mercurior Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> rowan/faust wants a tubal, for HER own peace of
> mind, not because i told her to have one, but
> because she wants on, i use protection because i
> know it would kill her and kill me to have a kid,
> i she has said if i want one later then its my
> choice, but she will be behind me 100%, just like
> i am behind her 100%.

Peace of mind is the MAIN reason why I had my tubal ligation. I always remind a CF woman how she is still at risk for pregnancy when she tries to get her mate to get a vasectomy. There is the scary issue of rape. Many relationships do not have the "forever" factor which means the unsnipped woman is back in the "how do I not get pregant" category if the union ends between her and the snipped man. Even if the relationship lasts, there is the issue of "cheating". Everyone says they are not going to be unfaithful...just like most men say they will not look at other women regardless of their mate's "beauty"...in the beginning of a relationship or during the first few years...but we all know the statistics of stepping out and how many people (male AND female) will admit they never thought this would be something they would do.