From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 15, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,979 |
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MOOOOOOO
Okay just writing the title like that made me feel super guilty, but please hear me out before judging too harshly.
I (38 F) have 4 kids ages 11 months, 3, 5, and 10. I love them all more than anything, but I’ll be the first to admit that our house is constant chaos and it can get very exhausting. My sister (33F) is child free, but loves my kids and was happy to watch the older 2 or sometimes 3 to help me keep my sanity. This has been extremely helpful and I tell her all the time how grateful we are for her help.
The thing is that the kids used to go over to her house, but right now they couldn’t because my sister was fostering an elderly chihuahua. My sister claims she couldn’t have them over for the time being because they would stress out the dog. Her dog was extremely frail and timid so I think this was a fair assessment. This was the 4th dog she has fostered, all of which couldn’t be around my kids. This most recent dog took 8 months to find a home for, but most of her other dogs took even longer. When she told me she found an adopter I knew I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and joked about how I was so glad she could babysit again.
My sister proceeded to tell me that there was a second dog that desperately needed a new foster, so she planned to take in that one as soon as her current dog was gone. So, she couldn’t do anymore babysitting than she already is (sometimes she comes over to my house in the morning to help out). I could literally feel my stress levels spike. I haven’t ever done this before, but I opened up to her about how much I have been struggling since she got the dog. How little sleep I get each night, how my husband hasn’t been helping as much as he should, and some other deeply personal issues that I’ve been struggling with. Then I asked her, point blank, to not get another dog.
She comforted me, but ultimately didn’t agree on anything and said she needed some time to think. I know I am asking a lot of her since rescuing dogs is her passion and that is why I feel so guilty. But I don’t have anyone else to help me. I can’t afford a babysitter long term, and my friends all have their own kids to look after. Above all, my kids will always come before a dog and that’s the reason I was willing to request it. I’ve told a few different people about the situation and gotten a wide range of heavily biased opinions. So that’s why I decided to come on here and as you guys. Was this unreasonable? I would never demand her to do this if she didn’t want to, but is it really so wrong to just be honest my situation and earnestly ask?
Edit: I am grateful for the honesty from people respectfully telling me that what I did was wrong. However I have also read a lot of horrible assumptions from people as well and I’d like to clear them up. I am not some careless mother who just keeps “popping out children” that I can’t take care of. My husband is not a deadbeat dad. After our youngest was born he got severe depression. He isn’t out having fun while I’m working 24/7, he is miserable. I went to my sister instead of him for help because I don’t want to lose him. I love my kids and I have always made every one of my decisions with what I believe are their best interests in mind. And no I don’t think my sister is obligated to do anything for me, I was asking for help not demanding it.
Edit 2: Insulting my husband doesn’t help anyone. Yes he is in therapy and is on antidepressants. Anyone who has actually dealt with depression would know that that isn’t an instant cure all. Still my husband does the very best he can. I asked my sister because I needed more help than he can provide right now.
Re: From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 15, 2022 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,716 |
Re: From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 16, 2022 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 129 |
Re: From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 16, 2022 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,979 |
Re: From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 16, 2022 | Registered: 3 years ago Posts: 129 |
Re: From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 17, 2022 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 3,578 |
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misskitty
They made their youngest in the pandemic - Moo definitely isn’t always acting in the kids’ interest or even her own. I’ll admit I’m a bit curious about which parunt initiated the idea to make crotchfruit #4, but either way Duh needs to step up.
Maybe Duh should move out and fill the role left by CF sister from his new home. He’s probably giving more work than support for Moo and I think his depression will magically go away when he’s not living with them.
Re: From AITA: Stop helping homeless dogs so you can watch my brats! April 18, 2022 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,367 |