#2333 - Women's Beauty

Mercurior, you did post a good article and link. ALL women should read this -- not just those who plan marriage and motherhood. Beauty is a big issue among most females and tend to get a lot of us into much grief. Many young women marry that fellow believing he is going to love them "for better or for worse". The pretty young ladies have this disdain about how they will never turn into their mothers. If their fathers catted around with other women, the youngsters believe a man will never do THAT to them as they will never lose their beauty and charm.

As I have seen, most men do get tired of a woman after a few years. It is worse when the wives have bred for their mates. There is rarely any appreciation that a woman may have given up education and a career to be a wife and mother. In many cases, the looks do go unless the woman has good genes and a tendency to retain her beauty even if she has four children. Even if the husbands have lost their looks, they feel very entitled to a young gal on the side for some extra sex.

I watched an old Bill Cosby show last night. He may have been doing his comedy routine but he was correct with how his wife was no longer the beautiful intellectual after they had five kids. Bill seemed to still look okay...and still does. Even "Family Values" Cosby had another child by an on-the-side woman a couple of decades ago. That came out any, many years ago when the other daughter tried to extort some money and another crime went awry. I am sure Mrs. Cosby just sucked up Bill's other women because where else would she find a good earner who would care for her an the five kids they had together.

Even with the childfree-by-choice women like ourselves, we should not get complacent of how we will always be lovely and so personable just because we chose a life without children. Time takes it toll on most people...even the non-childed. I know I have gained and lost...and gained weight over the years. My face is starting to show Father Time's visit with the skin not being so tight and some lines. I do take care of myself by eating well, exercising, try to look nice, get enough rest, etcetera...yet I am not exempt even though I have escaped a lot of physical and emotional abuse by saying "no" to motherhood.

The most wonderful beauty, female AND male, is the one that comes from a quick mind, clever wit, generous nature and a kind disposition. How you look might mean a lot in the here and now, but in the long run what keeps friends and mates is personality. Male AND female people who buy into the whole myth that only physical attributes are what make a person valuable, generally end up very disappointed when nature takes its course as they have nothing to offer another person except beauty tips, work out advice, and maybe the numbers for good plastic surgeons.

I don't care how beautiful a person is to look at, if they are devoid of personality, or have developed a image obsessed, thoughtless personality, they won't have much to offer anyone in the long run. Being an asshole all the time generally brings people down, and makes them not want to spend time with you. Plus, assholes aren't mentally challenging beyond the creativity of figuring out "how do I escape this asshole". I know a fellow who has terrible teeth, flaking acne covered skin, mild body odor, a lazy eye and a balding head, certianly no looker there, and doesn't seem to have alot of friends as a result. When you look beyond that and actually talk to him, he's a kind, generous, funny and engaging fellow who I am glad to hang out with and talk to because he knows a lot of crazy things about all sorts of topics. I also know a woman who everyone says is "beautiful", slim body, nice skin, well dressed, smells nice...pretty much the picture of physical perfection...and I hate hanging out with her. All she talks about is fashion, diets, television and who is gaining weight or looking "slobby" behind people's backs. She's shallow, petty, and unkind to just about everyone who she doesn't already know through her husband, or who doesn't "measure" up on whatever bogus social status/physical attractiveness scale she has set up in her head. Blearg.

the article does go into other parts, some i dont really agree with, but i posted the bit i did agree with.

i too know some really well they are not classically beautiful, but when my great aunt smiled, the world lit up, there was no artifice in her, and she became beautiful, then there are the classically "beautiful" like paris hilton and the like. they dont do anything to me.

i would rather have brains over beauty anytime, i dont pick friends due to looks, its brains, thats why i like online, you dont need to see the other people.

i am not classically handsome, i am over weight, i have real vampire fangs, i suffer from hyper hydrosis, (i sweat a LOT, cant help it, which brings the body odour problem i have used 2 spray deoderants in summers in a day) but i did the job, i have a goatee, and long hair, which makes me look like an over weight vampire .. but thats me, if someone doesnt like how i look, then no loss to me, and i have lost a few online friends when they have seen how i look.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

The vampire fangs rock, Mercurior!

Me too, I think being handsome or beautiful comes from that air about the person, their generosity, treatment of other people, etc. Not for how they look or dress.

I saw an exhibit when I was about 20 or so by a feminist artist, whose name I don't remember, but I'd say it changed my life. Up until then, I did devote many hours to maintaining a socially desirable appearance, with few consequences in the boyfriend department. It was a slide show with voice over and started out with a picture of the artist unmade up and just wearing a simple dress. She looked quite nice in my estimation. Over the course of the presentation, she gets her body hair waxed off, puts foundation undergarments, hair extentions, teeth whitening, manicure, pedicure, full on make up job, strapless dress and some painfull ass high heeled shoes. The voice over detailed how painful the waxing, undergarments and shoes were and how nasty the layers of makeup felt and how many hours/minutes each procedure took. Basically I decided then and there that "beauty" that takes that much work and pain to acheive really isn't beauty at all but a socially desirable mask that may catch you a mate who may indeed be horrified by your "real" face. All that time and work could be put into developing your brain, wit and personality, which will always be with you...and hell, who says you can't go all out once in a while and get dolled up, but to have your life revolve around it...bleah.

Needless to say, I think about that every time I see the parade of "gorgeous" celebreties on the red carpet, or in the check out aisle rags.

Feh, I also got caught up in the "beauty trap" until my mid-30's. After that, I realised it was not worth the hassle and it got the wrong type of men interested in me...the ones who only looked at the exterior and did not give a damn about how I felt as a person. I even sort of looked like "dykish" in some men's eyes until I found a style I, as a person, was comfortable with. My mom is not happy that I am no longer "girly" but a 43/year-old woman with tattoos, short-short hair, zero facial cosmetics, and very funky clothing. It is a relief to be aging and comfortable in my own skin where I do not have to spend precious time in front of the mirror to make sure eyeshadow is on just right and that the hair is styled "properly". Funny thing about men who want "beautiful women" is they are never satisfied...ever. I often felt that I had to continue to jump through the "beauty hoops" to please these guys who were really not worth the hassle...

Merc's fangs are awesome One of the many things I love about him. Merc, you are gorgeous to me

Though I do like to dress up occasionally, Merc doesn't care if I get all dolled up or not, and loves my curves, and doesn't make me exercise like a daemon, or diet. It's so wonderful to have someone who loves you for YOU, and to love him exactly the same way.

When SO and I get home from work, we put on the sloppiest, most comfortable clothes imaginable. Half the time they don't even match. But who cares? We know what each other's inner beauty looks like.

I'm just glad he's not one of these men who want a chick to be made up, maintained, and looking glamorous 24 hours a day. That isn't me.

I hear you Rowan and KFLL. A man who wants a trophy woman is not worth the hassle or the heartache because he will ditch the woman once the signs of age starts to hit or she can no longer fit into junior size clothing. These sort of men are never satisfied. Look at Donald Trump for instance. Notice how his wives are getting younger and younger? Pretty soon, he will troll the high school graduations for his next trophy wife despite his inner and outer ugliness. I would love to tell men like Donald to look into their own mirrors.

One of my stepbrothers made a comment in the Eighties of how he would never date a woman who was not pretty as if he is something great to look at. Ironically, he ended up marrying a Filipino woman who was a little chunky. And...the ass had the nerve to make comment of how the lady needed to lose about 20 pounds. I doubt he would ever leave her as he and my other stepbrother ran their business into the ground. The Filipino wife as well as the wife of my other stepbrother makes excellent money so this guy ain't going anywhere soon especially since she is due for a raise soon,