I'm freaking out!!!

OMG, OMG, OMG!

This hasn't even sunk in yet, but I HAVE to get it off my chest!

My 38 year old sister just called me at work & told me she's pregnant.

In our 10 mn conversation she was all excited & nervous at the same time- but she never sees the seriousness & permanance of things like I do. You could see her as free-spirited or immature. She has always caused the most upheaval in my home growing up & even my 32 yr old brother said that after my parents are gone, he won't be responsible for her "shit" like my parents still take on at their age.

I'm most worried about my parents. The baby will be mixed-race (which I don't care) & they allready freaked out when they found she was going with him. They kept saying "why us".

I know, I know she is an adult, but she & my parents have this weird co-dependance thing where they feel the need to take care of her-even though she lives on her own. Yet they press each other's buttons.

My parents both have hi BP & I don't want them to have coronaries.

She is very impulsive & unorganized, & thinks with her emotions alot. She has a decent job...doesn't drink, I'm just worried she won't think it through. I started to plant the seed in her mind to think about her option of having an abortion. She said right off the bat that she "just couldn't imagine doing that".

She sees me as the ROCK and relies on me for objective advice, so I reminded her if you want objective advice, here it is: think how your life will change- money-wise (she allready has $ probs due to irresponsibility) & freedom-wise, and she has a small studio & can't afford to move up.

I said it's not my place to make her decision for her. I don't want her have regrets because of me. I just know I have to at least sway her in this direction since nobody else will. I fear she'll miss that window of opportunity, before she gets used to the idea of "having a baby"
& doesn't want to turn back.

Am I doing the right thing? I want her to be happy, but see the reality. I so upset I can't even work.

Oh god, you have my condolences.

Lobby - and HARD - for an abortion. Use your status with your sister to HER advantage. She'll thank you for it one day.

I hope she doesn't see you as the rock for financial help. If she ever thinks about doing that, make sure she knows that you will NOT give her as much as one penny.

Keep working more hours, CF people! Millions of breeders depend on us.

catmeow Wrote:
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> I hope she doesn't see you as the rock for
> financial help. If she ever thinks about doing
> that, make sure she knows that you will NOT give
> her as much as one penny.

I'll by no means forget to make that clear. I'll have to tell her more than once since it takes alot to get thru to her. I couldn't even if I wantd to, since my husband is unemployed & looking. We'll be lucky to order a pizza tonight.

My parents don't have the $, my single brother doesn't, and my married, childed brother doesn't. I plan to tell her all her extra $ she'd go to restaurants in downtown Chicago will go for diapers. She'll be stuck in her small apartment with the kid. Sorry, but I just feel like crying right now...

OMG she will be screwing with this kid until around 57 yrs old or older. MY GOD, I WOULD KILL MYSELF!!! when I'm 57 I want to be retired in a condo in my favorite town, not working my fingers to the bone for some ungrateful cunt dumpling

Gawd dam I love being CHILD FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

send her a link to this topic, maybe it will wake her up!

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Oh god, you have my condolences.
>
> Lobby - and HARD - for an abortion. Use your
> status with your sister to HER advantage. She'll
> thank you for it one day.

Thank you. I started mentioning it allready, and told her I don't want to make her decision for her. But I'll push it & I don't care if she thinks I'm cold or harsh or anything. I just don't care b/c I'm putting her first. I don't even care if she's upset that I'm not happy for her.

I am so devastated right now.

I'll do that Nokyds4me. I'll use that one about the retirement to a cute little place. That's so her. She's also booked to go to Paris for a week next May, and stay at a little luxury apartment with a view of the Eiffel Tower. She obviously won't be doing that, which I'll make sure she knows.

I hardly slept, b/c I feel I'm the only person who can wake her up about this. I think she's still in shock & luckily she's starting to realize how stupid she was & starting to hear me about the physical, financial, etc. burdens.

I'm going to look for these myself, but does anyone else have any pregnancy, baby or financial horror articles handy?

I appreciate it.

Yanno, I'm going to take a stand that may seem to contradict something I wrote elsewhere, but I would hit her hard with why she's being a dumb fuck and messing up her life. While it's true you can't convince anyone who is Hellbent on breeding to stop, you know this person, and you know she would be unsuited for motherhood.

Personally, I value people who are my friends and who call me on my bullshit or when I'm lying to myself about something. I may not like to hear it at the time, but I appreciated it later.

Especially when it comes to baybees. There are more than enough people in this world who hear "baybee" and they try to blow sunshine up someone's ass and tell them everything will come up roses. Your sister will be a single mother, not much money, definitely not a fun path. And shit, she's 37? How about being that old and trying to deal with the demands of a child.

With this confrontation, I would definitely give her the HARD treatment that you, the Rock, WILL NOT BE PROVIDING ONE CENT OF FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE for her ill-regarded mistake. And she shouldn't be sucking off your parents, either.

If you wanted to support a kid, you would have had your own.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Thanks bell_flower, I mean it, thanks.

I don't know why I should feel this distraught but I do. I just know what's coming...

Me & my still-in-shock parents (even tho she IS a 37 yr old woman) know how my sister has a hx of not thinking about the long term, and worry this guy won't be around long. But they are to old & have to take care of themselves, not her.

Yesterday afternoon, I talked to her for hours & she took the # & address down of the PPH abortion clinic & was going to call them this AM to get the medication-induced abortion. I seemed to be successfully making her understand that she's not "killing her baby". I even went so far as to find info that embryos feel no pain until at least 28 weeks, if that. She was grateful to hear that, & it didn't sound like she was absolutely decided, but it was a start.

Last night, when my parents came over to meet the guy, she was still all nervous & said she couldn't go thru with having a baby. But by the end of the night, when the guy was still there & my parents left, she was all warm & fuzzy-like & said she's keeping it & couldn't possibly have an abortion.

And again this morning, when asked by my mom if she's made her decision, she answered "What decision", meaning she's keeping it. I'm sure she's kinda still in shock herself, but you can see she's flighty.

The icing on the cake to this shock is that it'd be the first mixed-race baby in our famblee. I truly don't care, but being realistic I can understand how my parents need time to adjust. I know I'm writing these long-ass posts, but I need to vent this out of my system so I have the strength to slap this stubborn dumbass to her senses.

I really hope you can knock some sense into her before it's too late, grizzlycat - but I'm afraid The Dude is the one influencing her. Even though he probably won't even stick around.

I agree with bell_flower! If any of us wanted to support a kid, we would have had our own. Just as I mentioned on another thread regarding convincing people not to breed, it is pointless. These women are going to do what they want regardless of how our words on the suckiness of motherhood....especially single motherhood.

This may also sound harsh but having a biracial child out of wedlock will not do your sister any favours, Grizzlycat. Most men with a future and money will not even look at a white woman who gave birth to a black or hispanic baby. The woman is looked at as "damaged goods" and will end up with more of that kind for "companionship".

Anyone who wants to call me a "racist", please think about it. I have known co-workers, former friends, and knew of others who went down that route. Did they find Mr. Wonderful who was so accepting of the mulatto child? Noooo...these women only found more low-life men and had MORE biracial kids.

Am is so right. I have seen this too. White woman gets pregnant and the lazy-ass Latino or black dude goes on down the highway to knock up another woman and lay around. She'll be stuck with this kind of guy in the future, because these slackers low-lifes will see a single mom desperate for a mayn. They don't want to hold down a real job and will probably end up abusing the kyd.

The Romanticism of the Baybee is hard to break through. Medusa also has a point. Your sis can’t think straight with Dude around.
Good luck, grizzlycat.

OK, I give up.

I don't know if this makes any difference, (since I'm trying to find the bright side) but at least the guy has a degree, is a radiology tech & working toward another degree. I guess it shows something, but I'm sure that doesn't mean shit if you don't stick around.

He's originally from Jamaica, and apparently is "overjoyed" & claims that "this is his responsibility". Apparently over there, abortion is worse than killing your own mother. (Glad I live here) And they're looking for an apartment (close to my mom, of course) and taking parenting classes, blah, blah blah.

Despite all this warm fuzziness, my sister tells me, "We've never actually dated, I want to go out like a regular couple, too..." And the next minute she gets all excited & Romanticizing about how cute the baby will be & what she'll name it.

And get this one!!!: Yesterday my mom tells me, "And you'll have a hand in raising the baby, too..because you're gonna be the Gawd-mother..."

WHAAAAAHHH???

I said HOLD THE FUCK ON...get this straight- if I wanted a baby I'd have had one already, and this is your 38 year old daughter's decision & responsibility, nobody else's!" She back-peddled & said she MEANT that when the kid's older it could stay over once in a while, and added nobody expects me to change my life. I already live over an hour away, but just hearing that makes me want to move to another continent & never lay eyes on my family again. You should've seen how pissed my husband was when he heard that one.

I'm glad my sister's happy (for now) but all this baby talk is turning my stomach and I feel more CF than ever, and any dried-up molecule of baby fondness I might have had has been completely purged from my being this week. Happy Fucking New Year!

Wait, wait, wait...your sis and this guy HAVE NEVER BEEN OUT ON A DATE!? How do they know if they're even compatible? Because his male thing fits into her female thing???? Sounds like pre-breeder logic.
I'm sorry, grizzlycat.

Nour Wrote:
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> Wait, wait, wait...your sis and this guy HAVE
> NEVER BEEN OUT ON A DATE!? How do they know if
> they're even compatible? Because his male thing
> fits into her female thing???? Sounds like
> pre-breeder logic.
> I'm sorry, grizzlycat.


This Jamaica piss brain is out of touch with reality.

You got it, Nour!

He wanted to take her out ONCE but for some reason she couldn't go. They met at a club somewhere & he's been coming over to her place. And she LUVZ him. He tried to give her a ring last month before they knew, but she said she wasn't ready. Well I guess she'll be ready now.

Yeah, she has extreme self-esteem issues & men issues. I can't decide which one of her former prince charmings to put on the bottom of the pile, but she puts herself in these situations. She's been to Jamaica with her friend about a dozen times (for the black pipe) so at least she didn't get knocked up over there.

I don't know what the attraction is with these guys, only thing I can assume is she's always had low self-esteem from being overweight & apparently those guys prefer bigger women. I AGAIN told her she doesn't have to go thru with it, or even live with him. But she's stubborn & this is what she wants.

breeder brain at its finest. I would seriously consider moving farther away.

Possibly, Mr. Jamaica is seeking a green card marriage. The same happened to a former friend of mine sans a baby. Gizzlycat, I am glad you told your mother that you are not taking part in being a moo to this baby. I get really PO'd how the females of the famblee are expected to moo a sibling's criblet just because they have tits and cunts. Men are never told to be a father figure to their sister's illegitimate child. I also never understood white women taking those Jamaican trips for the "black pipe". That never interested me.

amethusos* Wrote:
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> Gizzlycat, I am glad you told
> your mother that you are not taking part in being
> a moo to this baby. I get really PO'd how the
> females of the famblee are expected to moo a
> sibling's criblet just because they have tits and
> cunts. Men are never told to be a father figure to
> their sister's illegitimate child.

This is all my mom...the same one who acts like my sister is 15 & therefore is immediately taking on the job of watching the baby when sis is at work. Luckily my sister is against moving in w/ her. I worry about my mom's health & stress level, but she's hell bent on it. Besides, she's always saying she wishes us 4 were "little again".

I feel like I'm living a Springer nightmare.

Christ almighty. You have my sincere condolences.

I have a similar story to share, except this situation had a happy ending. My brother was "banging" this chick who was "separated" from her hubby. She had 2 kids from hubby already. Well, this bitch decides to oops my brother, move in to his house with her 2 shitloaves and thusly, 9 months - and a whole lotta bullshit later - the bundle of joy was born. Fortunately (I'm a realist), this child had some major metabolic disease and died the next day. A month later after the dust settled, he threw her out.

I was so thankful to the gods that it turned out this way because this bitch would have made my brother's life a living hell. She planned to go back to hubby and raise the baby with him. The whole thing was so incredibly fucked up, it's my family's own Jerry Springer episode. I'm just glad it turned out the way it did. My brother is now married to someone nice with 2 cute boys.

I hope your sister's story has a happy ending. People are not seeing clearly right now.

Thanks, KFLL

She was planning to move back in with hubby & raise the oops baby w/ him??? That guy must be a real doormat.

Anyway, it's good to hear your famblee's Springer episode turned out good. It gives me a glimmer of hope. Sounds like your brother learned some hard lessons on not to hook up with.

Maybe my sister will come down to earth soon enough to avoid fucking the rest of her life up.

Actually, I forgot to add this tasty tid bit. Just a few months ago, this chick's hubby ended up committing suicide and left her with an assload of debt and no payout on the life insurance because of suicide. Looks like Karma kicked her ass.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Actually, I forgot to add this tasty tid bit. Just
> a few months ago, this chick's hubby ended up
> committing suicide and left her with an assload of
> debt and no payout on the life insurance because
> of suicide. Looks like Karma kicked her ass.

Hah! Love it...

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> Christ almighty. You have my sincere
> condolences.
>
> I have a similar story to share, except this
> situation had a happy ending. My brother was
> "banging" this chick who was "separated" from her
> hubby. She had 2 kids from hubby already. Well,
> this bitch decides to oops my brother, move in to
> his house with her 2 shitloaves and thusly, 9
> months - and a whole lotta bullshit later - the
> bundle of joy was born. Fortunately (I'm a
> realist), this child had some major metabolic
> disease and died the next day. A month later
> after the dust settled, he threw her out.
>
> I was so thankful to the gods that it turned out
> this way because this bitch would have made my
> brother's life a living hell. She planned to go
> back to hubby and raise the baby with him. The
> whole thing was so incredibly fucked up, it's my
> family's own Jerry Springer episode. I'm just
> glad it turned out the way it did. My brother is
> now married to someone nice with 2 cute boys.
>
> I hope your sister's story has a happy ending.
> People are not seeing clearly right now.

God must have been looking after your bro. I am thanking god right now for saving your bro.

Techie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > Christ almighty. You have my sincere
> > condolences.
> >
> > I have a similar story to share, except this
> > situation had a happy ending. My brother was
> > "banging" this chick who was "separated" from
> her
> > hubby. She had 2 kids from hubby already.
> Well,
> > this bitch decides to oops my brother, move in
> to
> > his house with her 2 shitloaves and thusly, 9
> > months - and a whole lotta bullshit later - the
> > bundle of joy was born. Fortunately (I'm a
> > realist), this child had some major metabolic
> > disease and died the next day. A month later
> > after the dust settled, he threw her out.
> >
> > I was so thankful to the gods that it turned
> out
> > this way because this bitch would have made my
> > brother's life a living hell. She planned to
> go
> > back to hubby and raise the baby with him. The
> > whole thing was so incredibly fucked up, it's
> my
> > family's own Jerry Springer episode. I'm just
> > glad it turned out the way it did. My brother
> is
> > now married to someone nice with 2 cute boys.
> >
> > I hope your sister's story has a happy ending.
> > People are not seeing clearly right now.
>
> God must have been looking after your bro. I am
> thanking god right now for saving your bro.

Same here...