Feeling smug!

I see a lot that makes me glad for having the sense to remain single and - most importantly - childfree. Recently some hassles my bratted sister is having made me feel particularly smug.

She's in the middle of a messy divorce, paying through the nose for legal fees, etc, the kids (aged 4 and 6) are giving her shit and hubby is taking her for every penny he can get because she earns twice what he does and he looks after the kids; sister and hubby live in different areas of England - she spends most of her weekends driving up and down England's motorway network to either see them, pick them up or return them. Because he looks after the kids most of the time he's likely to get custody of them and I can't say I feel sorry for my sister at all- I might not like children, but I do feel a bit sorry for my nephews because they are both the rope and the prize.

I am glad I am single, and most importantly CF. Sister is going through all this shit while I am planning to visit the States for 10 days in June, and I am planning to go backpacking in Asia next winter. It is nice to feel smug for once.

I cannot give advice but do feel that your sister may just want to stop dealing with the children if her husband gets the money he is demanding. Why bother with these brats who are already giving their mother hell? It will never end. Make their shit come true but saying, "Fuck it." I know I am a cruel :cool bitch but I really don't care.

Amethusos:

Let me join you in the heartless bitch section! I hope you like good beer, wine and martinis.

I feel no ounce of pity, empathy or sympathy for breeders who use their brats as pawns in a divorce battle and then cry on every shoulder they can find.

Bed. Made. Lie.

Not asking for advice, just feeling VERY smug!

I do not have one ounce of sympathy for my sister or her husband either. Their behaviour is disgusting and I'm glad I'm seeing it from the outside.

I'm as heartless as anyone!

Hey, I'm as heartless as any of you! Not to mention cynical. No, the reason for my post is that I am bloody glad that I was intelligent enough to be CF and not end up with the hassle having brats brings.

No, I'm not asking for advice, I can't give a flying fuck about my sister or her husband, their behaviour is disgusting. If those kids grow up to be the teens from hell we'll know why.

That is WHY I never married, spilled any offspring, or even had a real relationship at all.

I just DO NOT buy any of the fairy tale crap, period.

No, I don't buy any of the fairy tale crap, either. I've had several proposals, but I've reached my late 30s and have yet to marry. Before I offend anyone, yes, I realize it's possible to be happily married, but I feel the odds are against it happening, and I'm not inclined to take that risk. The single life is the life for me.

And, very importantly, childfree. Smartest choice I ever made

Reply Quote

I am married to a wonderful, beautiful woman named Fujiko and both of our moms live with us. Life ain't perfect, and we have worked hard to maintain our marriage. That being said, not having to deal with brats and their drama has certainly made it a happier marriage.

I agree. Marriage is something to be worked at EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY DAY. You cannot, even for one minute, take anything for granted.

I was married to 13 years to a man who thought once you've signed on the dotted line and got hitched, that it was all gravy.

I guarantee that a couple in that same situation WITH kids would have been divorced long before the 13 years was up. Not having kids made his short comings more tolerable in a sense.

Our divorce was not messy, and we remain friends still.

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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> I agree. Marriage is something to be worked at
> EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF EVERY DAY. You cannot,
> even for one minute, take anything for granted.



I realize that I shouldn't take DH for granted, but we seem to have the most effortless relationship and it does not seem like we have to WORK at it EVER. When we do argue, it is usually ABOUT something, not because we are getting on each others' nerves. We have been married for 5 years, together for 8, and I don't know what I would do if something happened to him; I don't think I could start all over again with someone else.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Divorce battles where children are involved are the worst. Don't believe the myths that children just bounce back and it hardly affects them. I've read too many studies that suggest otherwise. It's even worse if one of the parents then marries into a ready-made family and the child of the original marriage has to try to fit into the new family dynamic.

Having a parent removed from your household at a young age for any reason is traumatic as all hell. Unless your spouse is actively abusing you, unless you want to damage your kids for life, stay together, you selfish breeders. You think you can't stand another minute with your annoying spouse? How about your poor young kids who can't yet articulate the terror and pain they are going through? You're sacrificing them up on the altar of your personal comfort.

There's nothing like being a child, witnessing a tremendous custody battle for you, and feeling like a token in a vicious game. Mother wins, and then every time you visit Daddy, you get to be asked "So what is your mom spending the child support money on?" You get to find out exactly how much you are worth to Daddy (in my case, $300), and you get to find out just how bad Mommy is at managing the finances. It's a laugh a minute, I tell you.

I know, anecdotes prove nothing. But man, I just want to rage at every person out there with kids who gets a divorce for "incompatibility reasons" before the child is old enough to be semi-independent.

Yet we're supposedly the selfish ones. At least if a CF couple fights and goes through a nasty divorce, it only affects them-there is not a young kid getting traumatized as a result.