They looked at me as if I killed the person next to me

I was in a meeting yesterday with a lot of people ( about 40). During the break we were chatting about life in general. Everyone is talking abu their kids or grandkids. When a couple of the women turn to me and ask if I have kids. I say no, they ask why. I tell them I don't want any that I am childfree by choice. They looked at me like I killed someone and did not talk much with me the rest of the day. If I would have known that the best way to be left the hell alone in that meeting was to tell people I did not want kids, I would have worn a shirt that said so. I enjoyed my peaceful meeting with no idle chit chat about crap I could care less about and I did not have to see puictures of little Joe's first poop or first lost tooth.

Good riddance to them.

I notice that when you're in a group of people and someone asks if you have a kid, and you say you're childfree, it's like you're speaking a foreign language to them. People can't relate because you don't have that supposed wonderful connection of being a parunt. UGH.

People have flat out laughed at me when I told them I'm not ever going to have a kid. They've thrown bingos left and right at me. It's like being childfree is a fantasy, like how could a childfree person possibly exist in this world?

Better to be alone and happy than together with someone else or a group of people and miserable.

These women are such rude bitches to ask why. That is so fucking rude.
As VLM said, good riddance!

Same deal here but I knew this woman for a while. We were at one of those demonstrations and she asks me why I don't have any kids. Told her about being CF by choice and she blurts out, "Why don't you just admit that you don't like kids?" I laughed, shook my head, and blew it off. For me, that's the best way to handle it.

I have the best answer to the "why don't you have kids" question:

Say, "I had one, but I was allergic to it and had to give it up for adoption."

Seriously. That's what I tell people, but I say that if I had one and IT were allergic t o cats, I'd have to give IT up for adoption.

(psst... i posted a new (short) blog entry)

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

gsmith Wrote:
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> Same deal here but I knew this woman for a while.
> We were at one of those demonstrations and she
> asks me why I don't have any kids. Told her about
> being CF by choice and she blurts out, "Why don't
> you just admit that you don't like kids?" I
> laughed, shook my head, and blew it off. For me,
> that's the best way to handle it.


A former friend of mine asked me (after I told her I was never having a kid), "What, you just don't like kids?" I told her "It's not that. I just don't want any." It really shouldn't have mattered whether or not I liked kids anyway. She should have just accepted what I said and shut the fuck up!

Say, "It's not that; I just don't like parents."

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Poofy,

Now that is an excellent answer because it's dead on. Thanks and I'm using that response from now on.

Seriously. Why do some people make EVERYTHING their business? And yes, good riddance to them. I so do not need people in my life, that I could care less if anyone ever talked to me again.

When you are a breeder and your brain is the size of a pea, you cannot fathom someone's choice to be Childfree. That's probably why they don't talk to us CF'ers.

You know...we always talk about snappy comebacks when we are confronted w/ these incredibly rude and stupid questions......

from now on, I'm simply going to reply, in a very off the cuff, carefree voice, "oh, no reason". And leave it at that.

CF Uter - that is a good one too because it shuts down the bingo factor. But often, they don't ask you "Why" they just ask "Do you?" and if you say "No" then they hear "Not YET."

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Youre right, they don't ask "why" often ...but when they do, this crosses the line of the extra rude factor...and this way it is such a totally non-chalant answer, I figure it will stop them in their tracks.

I think it's really sad when people who have kids are so narrow-minded that they are unable to converse with someonewho is childless (to them). Especially in a professional setting.

And Holy Cripes, the question of WHY you don't have children is waaaay over the line. It's extremely rude and none of their business. Ever heard of boundaries, people?

When someone is rude enough to ask me that question, I almost want to tell them I am CF so they don't start up with the "pity" crap. Because if you hint that you are infertile,they'll start asking even more rude questions or they'll make dumb remarks about whether you know how to have sex. Trust me on this one.

Story:

Some dumb MooCow where I work did fertility treatments for THIRTEEN YEARS. You read that right, people. She finally got her mirakul baybee at age 46. (And let me tell you people, the kid is about 4 now and the mother looks like she's pushing 60.)

Anyway, OlderMoo asked me whether I wanted to have children and I told her no, I was happy with my life as it is; I am having a hysterectomy soon because three doctors have said I need one. (All true, and I volunteered this info so she'd get off my case.)

You won't believe what she asked next. She said:

"But have you been to see a reproductive endocrinologist?"

Can you fucking believe that? I said, no, but I've been so see an ONCOLOGIST, two in fact. (That seemed to shut her up.)

So if you give people like this an inch, they'll just want to get more into your business.

So Annie, you avoided all these problems by telling her you don't want the little fuckers.

But generally, I am torn. I feel that asking someone why they don't have children or whether they plan to have them is NOTB.

I am starting a new work situation soon and I do not feel obligated to tell anyone anything. I'll say that I don't have children and leave it at that. If they ask why, I'll say I'd rather not talk about it.

Because really, I don't see the reason to talk about that kind of crap at work. Work is work. I can do the social chatter and all that, but I keep it polite. I can even listen to a little bit of kid talk.

But I believe talking constantly about kids, cats, cars, sports, or non-work subjects isn't appropriate in the workplace. You are supposed to be working, remember? I do believe Breeders, particularly Moos, believe the workplace should be some big, sticky, pseudo-family situation where they can talk about their personal lives. It's a darn shame.

"Do you have kids?"
"no"
"Why?"
"None of your business. What's your favorite sexual position and how often do you cum?"
"What? That's rude!"
"Good, now take that as a lesson to keep your nose out of my damned privates."

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me