The gyno thread got me thinking

I've been telling my female gyn for years that I want a tubal. She hit me with the standard bingos so then I went to a specialist to inquire about a tubal. She told me that I was still too young and the procedure requires me to go to counseling first. Now I'm gonna be 34 and I still want this procedure. Sorry if this is prying but how long did those of you with tubals wait and did you do the counseling session? How were you finally successful?

Also, I know a guy who in his early thirties got a vascectomy and I don't believe he had to attend counseling sessions.

Im 39 and i started to check into a vascectomy, I was told that i should lie to them and tell them I already have 2 kids, so they will have no problem doing the vascectomy for me. I dont know how true that is, but when i go, i will lie and tell them i already have 2 kids. fuck them, they dont know me nor will they ever see me again

nokyds4me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im 39 and i started to check into a vascectomy, I
> was told that i should lie to them and tell them I
> already have 2 kids, so they will have no problem
> doing the vascectomy for me. I dont know how true
> that is, but when i go, i will lie and tell them i
> already have 2 kids. fuck them, they dont know me
> nor will they ever see me again

That's terrible, having to lie to maintain control over your own body! That really sucks.

I was 34 years old when I finally found an ob/gyn to do the ESSURE procedure on me. I thought I was 35 but in thinking back - I'm pretty sure I was 34 - time flies and when you're child-free, you've much better things to think about ...anyway,

I suggest that you propose having the ESSURE procedure done to your doctor instead of the tubal for a few reasons:

1. It's cheaper for the insurance co.
2. It's a quick-fix for the doc and they may even be doing it as an in-office procedure now. (I'm not sure about that as it was a brand new thing when I had it done. All docs did them in a hospital setting at that time, and my ob/gyn preferred to do it in a hospital setting anyway - she rocks!)
3. Since it's so much less invasive, there's less chance of something going wrong (read as lawsuits to doctors)
4. I was back at work in two days and fully functional in 5!
5. Much less pain then a tubal.

What I did was start calling ob/gyn's in my ins. book. I asked them (the sec. of course), did this office yet perform this procedure. I then picked a female - I just couldn't stomach the males any longer. When I found one, and I met her in her office for the first patient brief discussion, I went straight to the point. I told her I was sick and tired of being on the pill, I was happily married with a great job and wanted a permanent solution. I told her I was beginning to forget my pill every once in a while (it was true), and that pregnancy was not acceptable to me. She agreed, we made the appointment, and I was sterile in a month!

This 'counseling' shit is a bunch of garbage. Now, she did have to ask some questions regarding getting permanently sterilized and then inform me of that permanency and did I understand blah blah blah, perhaps that is what your doc is referring to, I don't know. But it was so insignificant that I don't even remember them. I think I was in there about...oh maybe 5, 10 minutes tops. Peanuts to pay for the reward as far as I'm concerned!

Good luck, and never give up. You'll find the right gyn - it may be a man or a woman - but GET TO THE POINT. Be polite and professional, have an air of confidence, but not arrogance, about your DECISION to remain childfree. If I can answer any other questions about my experiences, just let me know

What's with the fucking "counseling" bullshit anyway? 99.9% of the people out there aren't mentally fit to have a kid - do THEY have to have counseling BEFORE THEY breed? UM, that would be NO!

And why not? Because of the usual religious bullshit and LifeScript(TM) nonsense. Follow either and you're on top of things. Digress in any way and you need counseling.

Fuck them.

KFLL: You're a smart chick, you know why 'counseling' is 'required'. The harder they can make your CF lifestyle decision, the higher the chances are you'll give in, have a kid and boost their incomes!

My 'counseling' is more adequately described as 'information'. Being in the medical arena, I completely understand this and had no problem with it. There was no "And how do you know you don't want children"? "Why don't you want them"? "What does your husband think"? - None of that, AT ALL. Just basically letting me know how it works, and did I understand how it worked - Par for the course; no biggie.

However HAD the bingo questions started, I'd a been outta there and looking for someone else.

i have said if i know someone who wanted a tubal and gets that crap,, i would go with them and pretend to be b/f so they could have it done. they couldnt argue if the b/f was there sitting and saying i agree 100% with her..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

str8six Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> KFLL: You're a smart chick, you know why
> 'counseling' is 'required'. The harder they can
> make your CF lifestyle decision, the higher the
> chances are you'll give in, have a kid and boost
> their incomes!
>
> My 'counseling' is more adequately described as
> 'information'. Being in the medical arena, I
> completely understand this and had no problem with
> it. There was no "And how do you know you don't
> want children"? "Why don't you want them"? "What
> does your husband think"? - None of that, AT ALL.
> Just basically letting me know how it works, and
> did I understand how it worked - Par for the
> course; no biggie.
>
> However HAD the bingo questions started, I'd a
> been outta there and looking for someone else.

Thank you again for this info.

I hate them.

They make people jump through hoops like some fucking circus poodle.

How condescending is THAT?

I got my first tubal at 23. I just made an appointment at Kaiser and said that was what I wanted. The ob-gyn was shocked asking if I knew that was permanent. I told him, "Of course! That is why I want this done." Got it done. No crap of counseling or anything. California makes a person wait 28 days to get it done. It takes that long to book the OR and such so the wait was not a biggie. After that one failed in 1994, I got another done in '96. This doc did not make a big deal over it. His attitude is how people make terrible choices when they marry and/or have kids so a sterlization is the lesser of things for a doctor to worry about when it comes to patients and their decisions. Be a BITCH and tell these assholes what you want done to YOUR body. I was upfront both times. When I aborted, I had to see this 'counselor' when I returned about three weeks later for a check-up. I guess the people at the clinic thought I would be weeping over that dead baybee. I told the counselor that I felt so much relief once the abortion was over knowing I was not held hostage to some fetus living off of my body.

"I want a tubal because if I don't get one, I will rip my own uterus out right here and shove it down your throat"

I guess that might not convince them of your sanity.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

I had my tubes taken out at age 32. They were operating for endometriosis, and I said, "While you're in there, tie my tubes". All I had to do was sign a consent form. She ended up taking them out altogether (along with one ovary) because the endo was so bad.

Usually, when you get operated on for endo they try to save everything they can due to the breeder factor.

I have an awesome GYN, although she is also an OB which means sometimes you have to wait a long time if people went into labor the day of your office appointment. But, it's the nature of the business. I DON'T have to look at the photo album of all the babies delivered by that doctor!

nokyds4me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im 39 and i started to check into a vascectomy, I
> was told that i should lie to them and tell them I
> already have 2 kids, so they will have no problem
> doing the vascectomy for me. I dont know how true
> that is, but when i go, i will lie and tell them i
> already have 2 kids. fuck them, they dont know me
> nor will they ever see me again

My husband had his vasectomy at 40. We went together for the first visit. The doc was the older, traditional, graying Marcus Welby kind & I thought he'd give us trouble. Turns out he surprised the hell out of us.

He just described the procedure & made sure we understood it, & stressed that it was harder & more invasive to reverse if we changed our minds. He didn't even ask if we had kids already!

And he only added the "if you change your minds" part because in his practice, he has seen many many couples come back for a reversal. (I noticed how he said many "couples" came back for a reversal- not a single guy, which to me means it was probably the woman dragging the guy back)

In 2 weeks he was snipped & we had a party. Hope you find a doc like this, nokyds4me.

> He just described the procedure & made sure we
> understood it, & stressed that it was harder &
> more invasive to reverse if we changed our minds.
> He didn't even ask if we had kids already!
>
> And he only added the "if you change your minds"
> part because in his practice, he has seen many
> many couples come back for a reversal.

That's basically what I said. I had the same great experience. They have to tell you how it works, the risks etc. I don't consider that 'counseling' but perhaps the OP's practicing office does. Could just be a misunderstanding of the word couseling. Find out what exactly this 'counseling' entails. It may be nothing more then what I or 'married with rabbits' encountered.

There are some really great ob/gyn's out there. But damn it took me a while to find one.

Check out this website:

http://www.herownwoman.com/

http://www.herownwoman.com/letter.html

http://unscriptedlife.net/articles/sterilization-a-personal-journey

Regret rates are higher for women with children*. The group of women who had the least regret where CF women. This is find-able; I'm too tired to look for it now.

*And this makes logical sense. Every women I've ever known who got reversed wanted to do so because she met a new May-n. Even though she already had 4 kids or something stupid like that.

Amethusos, so California requires a 28-day wait for a sterilization? My state (don't want to name it, but East Coast and not Deep South) requires people of either gender who want to be sterilized and have never had or fathered children to wait 30 days. I figured it was a conservative-ideology/breeder thing. Now seeing that California has a similar rule, I wonder how common such a waiting requirement might be around the US.

K-man how can they prove a guy has fathered a kid in the past? Cant the guy just lie and say he has kids?

You guys rock! Thanks for all the advice. I'm going to research the ESSURE and then move on from there. Maybe this counseling session is just a separate appointment where we discuss the procedure, risks, yadda yadda. I had a bad taste in my mouth because I was a) told by the first gyno that I would feel like something was missing from my life if I did this and b) I was told when I was over thrirty that I was still "too young". I think I know what the hell I want and don't want at this point in my life.

Thanks again gang.

bell_flower Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Regret rates are higher for women with children*.
> The group of women who had the least regret where
> CF women. This is find-able; I'm too tired to
> look for it now.

That does make sense. I cannot count the breeders I have known who had tubals before their 1st marriages ended. They remarry and the new husband is screaming for a DNA replica. So, wifey caves and gets the tubal reversed.

Where I used to live in Winter Park, FL, the maintenance manger of the complex married a woman with two kids from a former marriage. Of course, the guy wants to show everyone how his dick works. The dummy of a woman gets a tubal reversal even though she did not want anymore children.

Get this...after the man got his son, the woman ended up knocked up again. After this woman shat out her 4th baby, the man gets a vasectomy. It is good he got fixed but he never should have pressed for the woman to reverse her tubal. But, she made the choice so to 'keep' this guy who she will wish to be gone someday.

The guy was fit to be tied when there was another bun in the oven. I told him to be careful of what he wanted as he may get exactly that and then some...
>
> *And this makes logical sense. Every women I've
> ever known who got reversed wanted to do so
> because she met a new May-n. Even though she
> already had 4 kids or something stupid like that.

Just what I said above. It is stupid. What is fucked is how her two daughters from Marriage #1 were required to do the cunt work of baybee care such as changing the shit cloths and waiting on their every whim.

I hope the daughters are smart enough to be CF but I have learned with others how a large family does not always made a person chose a non-breeder life. Often, it is the opposite even if they hated the cunt work as a kid.

Hi Friends,
Here is a site I slapped together. You might find it amusing and hopefully useful:

The Childfree Guide to Getting Fixed:

http://www.geocities.com/ratkin412/home.html

I got a tubal at 27.

Best regards,
Safeflower

Many years ago I approached my Dr about betting a tubal. I asked one year, and he mentioned the counseling, then I asked the next year and did the counseling. I was 29. The doctors are just covering their asses. Is it unfair to us.. you bet. But they have seen enough women come back regretting the tubal thing to just add one more step. It's really those womens fault.

I went for 3 one hour sessions. All they did was want to me think about what I was doing, and was it the right choice for me. Not really a bad exercise for me because it gave me a better understanding why I didn't want kids.

We all have to jump though certain hoops in life to get where we are going. Yes, it pissed me off that I had to do it when 14 year old girls can/do get pregnant and change the rest of their lives, but I can't decide not to without counseling?

Safeflower Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Hi Friends,
> Here is a site I slapped together. You might find
> it amusing and hopefully useful:
>
> The Childfree Guide to Getting Fixed:
>
> http://www.geocities.com/ratkin412/home.html
>
> I got a tubal at 27.
>
> Best regards,
> Safeflower

Great site , Safeflower. I was dressed professionally when I had the first tubal at 23. After the tubal failed 7 years later (laser is not the best method) and aborted ASAP, I got another tubal in 1996 when I was 32. I was firm and the doc was good about it. You give a lot of excellent information to others trying to get this done.

*bump* Is that poor form here?

dont know.. think your the first to bump ..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

nokyds4me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Im 39 and i started to check into a vascectomy, I
> was told that i should lie to them and tell them I
> already have 2 kids, so they will have no problem
> doing the vascectomy for me. I dont know how true
> that is, but when i go, i will lie and tell them i
> already have 2 kids. fuck them, they dont know me
> nor will they ever see me again

I got my vasectomy at age 21. No questions were asked. Legal age in my state is 18 and they are sticking to it. Insurance pays for it - just $100 deductible. Does not count towards your max lifetime limit. After 12 months scars are not even visible. Guys who get it reversed are pressured by wives to do so. If you ever get pressured into reversal, pressure her right out of the door! Change locks.