more tid-bits from tmc

Should check out a site on Live Journal, called tmc snark (or just tc_snark).

05.28.08 11:32a I have to leave to go to the dentist, by myself, with a 3 week old baby in half an hour. I still haven't showered, I will need to nurse the little guy again before we go, pack a diaper bag, and a zillion other things that there just isn't time for. This motherhood thing is complicated! Comments (0) | me too (0)

05.28.08 11:17a I enjoy cold, rainy days because I don't feel "obligated" to take the kids t the park. Comments (0) | me too (0)

05.28.08 11:16a I use my son's father for sex, cause he literally makes my body shake, but I'm terrified my husband will find out me too (0)

05.28.08 11:12a I am the one armed woman. Not from some horrible accident, nor was I born with only one arm... I am a mother. I have only one arm because the other one is holding my child. Comments (0) | me too (0)

05.28.08 11:06a Yes, I'm a mom.
But I'm also a woman, a sister, a wife, a girlfriend, an aunt, a cousin, a DIL and a SIL.

I love being a mom, but it doesn't define me. You seem to forget DH, that I too, am human.

fun to copy these things over and snark em. (some aren't snarkable though... )

This is the most honest, and depressing thing I've ever read....
05.27.08 6:29a
This sucks. I've just had an epiphany that I'm totally wishing my life away waiting for my children to grow up so I can get on with MY life. I can't wait until they're old enough to go to school and get them out of my hair. I hate all of this and I dread each and every day. I wish this was a rant, vent or just a bad day but it's not. I HATE BEING A MOM. I get very little out of this and I'm beginning to doubt my capacity to love anything at all. I wouldn't mind wishing a few years of my life away if I had more of it ahead of me than I do. I'm 40 and these kids won't be going to school for several more years. The worst part of this whole thing is that both of my children are adopted and somewhere out there are two birth mothers whose children went to an adoptive mother who has very little appreciation for them. This is the dirtiest, most awful--probably the ONLY awful thing I've ever done, but boy is it a doozy. I can't tell a soul this because it's just too terrible to say out loud. It's probably every birth-mother's nightmare...to plan an adoption for your child who ends up with a mother who doesn't want or appreciate them. I really have no idea how I got here or why this happened, but I know it makes me an awful person---a person I can't look at in the mirror because my heart is so small that I can't stand being a mother. I used to like me. I hate having kids. This crushing boredom, endless need, bottomless thanklessness, blatant greed and inconsideration are slowly killing me. Even worse still is that I pretend very poorly that things are "okay" and in the end that will only rob these two kids of something real. It's clear that I can't "fake it 'til I make it" in this situation. If there was any way to save face and send these kids away, I'd do it. The worst of the worst? I hate myself, but I think I hate them more. Maybe they'll get lucky and I'll die before they really figure out what a horrific bitch their "mother" really is. (16 me toos)

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Feh: You know the most shocking thing about that confession you copied?

16...S I X T E E N 'me toos'...what an atrocity

why oh why dont' people stop and think...
was she a single woman with a 'rescue' complex; someone talk her into this garbage?
oh well, this will be a destroyed bunch of kids.. imo..
sad
I obviously didn't scroll far enough..

It is very sad but you know what? They've made their own bed by not being strong enough to KNOW, absolutely, without a doubt, WHAT THEY WANTED for their lives.

Let's just hope the kids will be raised well so they aren't the kind of adults everyone bitches about.

Feh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is the most honest, and depressing thing I've
> ever read....
> 05.27.08 6:29a
> This sucks. I've just had an epiphany that I'm
> totally wishing my life away waiting for my
> children to grow up so I can get on with MY life.
> I can't wait until they're old enough to go to
> school and get them out of my hair. I hate all of
> this and I dread each and every day. I wish this
> was a rant, vent or just a bad day but it's not. I
> HATE BEING A MOM. I get very little out of this
> and I'm beginning to doubt my capacity to love
> anything at all. I wouldn't mind wishing a few
> years of my life away if I had more of it ahead of
> me than I do. I'm 40 and these kids won't be going
> to school for several more years. The worst part
> of this whole thing is that both of my children
> are adopted and somewhere out there are two birth
> mothers whose children went to an adoptive mother
> who has very little appreciation for them. This is
> the dirtiest, most awful--probably the ONLY awful
> thing I've ever done, but boy is it a doozy. I
> can't tell a soul this because it's just too
> terrible to say out loud. It's probably every
> birth-mother's nightmare...to plan an adoption for
> your child who ends up with a mother who doesn't
> want or appreciate them. I really have no idea how
> I got here or why this happened, but I know it
> makes me an awful person---a person I can't look
> at in the mirror because my heart is so small that
> I can't stand being a mother. I used to like me. I
> hate having kids. This crushing boredom, endless
> need, bottomless thanklessness, blatant greed and
> inconsideration are slowly killing me. Even worse
> still is that I pretend very poorly that things
> are "okay" and in the end that will only rob these
> two kids of something real. It's clear that I
> can't "fake it 'til I make it" in this situation.
> If there was any way to save face and send these
> kids away, I'd do it. The worst of the worst? I
> hate myself, but I think I hate them more. Maybe
> they'll get lucky and I'll die before they really
> figure out what a horrific bitch their "mother"
> really is. (16 me toos)

I'm not easily shocked but I truly feel terrible for this woman and the others who are trapped.

there are so many unhappy women on that board. For every "My 2 yr old is so cute when she poops" there's a woman who can't stand the sight of her husband. Are these the same drones we see in the supermarket??????

That's affirmative. They're everywhere.

Rose Red Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm not easily shocked but I truly feel terrible
> for this woman and the others who are trapped.

From what I know of adoptions, they take a long time, there are a lot of hoops to jump through, they're difficult and expensive. What I don't understand is how she managed to so completely delude herself into this hell hole. I don't feel sorry for her, she's the adult who should have known better. I feel sorry for the kids.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

A couple, who were once very good friends of ours, adopted a kid from the Ukraine about 3 years ago. They're our age (early 40's, late 30's now), and I could not FUCKING BELIEVE the hoops they had to jump through to get that kid, who is as fucked up as a football bat by the way.

She calls me about every 3 months and I don't answer the phone - why? Because I can't stand to hear the little monster SCREAMING in the background! Do you y'all know what they did? WIPED OUT THEIR SAVINGS!!! Their life mother-fucking-savings, to adopt this kid. They have nothing but bright-colored plastic never-to-be-biodegradable toys scattered all over their goddammned yard and a medicine cabinet full of Goody's Headache Powder. Fuck. That.

Bed. Made. Lie.

Wow, that post was a gut twister. And just today I'm weighing the pros & cons of adopting another cat! I'm going to introduce it slowly to the current 2 cats, make sure it's the right match for everyone, etc. So I just can't fathom this woman not seeing this far ahead with human lives.

And with all that time it took to adopt! She sounds like an intelligent person, so was she getting off on all the praise & attention during the adoption process that she forgot to reality check herself?

But no, I don't feel sorry for her, just those poor kids. Ughhh.

A few mos ago a moo at work who's kid just turned 1 told me, "I waited so long for this baby, now I can't wait 'til he grows up". And now she's pregnant with another one. Go figure.

star8six, that is INSANE. But wait- they'll probably mortgage their house to try to adopt another one to give this one "a little brother or sister".

Sounds like being an adoptive parent can be just as bad as being a biological breeder.

Oh shit, yea. The only thing you may escape here is the destruction of your body by not actually giving birth.

In the end, the song's still the same: you arrive home with a shit loaf of whatever age and you instantly become it's personal concierge/maid/chauffeur.

Banshee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sounds like being an adoptive parent can be just
> as bad as being a biological breeder.

Feh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Rose Red Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I'm not easily shocked but I truly feel
> terrible
> > for this woman and the others who are trapped.
>
> From what I know of adoptions, they take a long
> time, there are a lot of hoops to jump through,
> they're difficult and expensive. What I don't
> understand is how she managed to so completely
> delude herself into this hell hole. I don't feel
> sorry for her, she's the adult who should have
> known better. I feel sorry for the kids.

I'm adopted - it's a VERY tricky thing. Once they grow up who knows how much therapy they will need.

Banshee Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sounds like being an adoptive parent can be just
> as bad as being a biological breeder.

dingdingdingdingding

I gotta hand it to my cousin (or smack him in the head), he and his wife adopted TWO daughters - one very recently about 8 years old - both have SEVERE emotional problems from physical, mental and sexually abusive situations that they were finally removed from.

Their eldest one is about 12/13 now and from what I've heard, she's finally showing some improvement. Bed wetting, acting out, impulsivity issues are finally starting to dissipate. She's been with them for 5 years.

Now they get to do it all over again with their newest daughter.

I'm not a big fan of kids but geez, if you don't want them but are going to keep them anyway, don't do shit to them that will ruin them for life. Do what the rest of the breeders do, raise them up with minimal interaction to age 18 and get them out of your hair. No need to damage them. Either that, or give them up soon after birth. They'll have a better chance at a good home if put up as a days-old infant.

Rose Red Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm adopted - it's a VERY tricky thing. Once they
> grow up who knows how much therapy they will need.

Some adoptions work out well. The kids and parents are all very happy. Yet, I read about some adoptive families where the young adults confess to never feeling they fit in with their non-bio parents. Others have gone on to tell of experiences of how natural children are favoured over the adopted kids. Some have been abused as the people adopting did not think what it would really be like to have an actual child in the house rather than the idea in their minds. Reality hits and it is not the pretty fantasy. It is easier to adopt from overseas if the US'ers have the $$$.

some do some dont..some children work out some dont..

the risk is an adopted child may be abandoned for a reason..

my mum fostered, i vaguely remember the girls.. i was very young, and they came from an abusive home life, really nasty.. mum helped.. but it wasnt going to work as they were too damaged..mum helped how she could.. and they were better.. but.. they could never be perfect children.. so while it can work, it can equally not work. its slightly different but the same thing is there..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

amethusos* Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> Some adoptions work out well. The kids and parents
> are all very happy. Yet, I read about some
> adoptive families where the young adults confess
> to never feeling they fit in with their non-bio
> parents.

This is quite true.

HERE'S A FEW THAT I FOUND AMUSING:

Did I mention I'm going to pass out from the stress of putting together my daughters first birthday party?? Comments (4) | me too (3)
WHAT? HOW STRESSFUL IS IT TO BUY A CAKE AND DECORATE THE KITCHEN/DINING ROOM WITH A FEW STREAMERS AND BALLOONS? I GUESS SHE'S THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO HAS TO KEEP UP WITH THE JONESES AND HAVE AN ELABORATE PARTY WITH PONY RIDES, ACROBATS, COMEDIANS, AN 80-PIECE ORCHESTRA, ROLLER SKATING GIRAFFES, AND SKYDIVING GANGSTA RAPPERS.

I am a terrible SAHM. My house is a mess.. I sometimes don't do dishes for two or three days. I think my hubby is really starting to resent me. This makes me more depressed.. and immobilized. I'm exhausted from the time my child wakes until bedtime. My toddler isn't even reaping the benefits of having a SAHM, because i just don't know WHAT TO DO WITH HER! She's so smart and I could be helping her flourish, but I'm too exhausted and depressed... and clueless. I've read that I should be giving structured play time, but I have no idea what to do.. so she just runs around the house tearing things apart all day. Interrupted for food and sleep. Its like we are just exisiting.. and I know I'm going to wake up ten years from now, kicking myself for wasting so much of my life, and my child's. Im a sucky mother.. and wife. Comments (11) | me too (11)

THIS IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT BETTY FRIEDAN WROTE ABOUT IN "THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE." FRIEDAN(IN THE LATE 50S/EARLY 60S) WROTE THAT MIDDLE-CLASS HOUSEWIVES LOSE THEIR SENSE OF DRIVE FROM DOING DAY AFTER DAY OF MUNDANE CRAP LIKE DIAPER CHANGING AND OTHER THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF THE BAYBEEEE. THEY STOP LOSING THEIR ABILITY TO KEEP UP WITH SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD CHORES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING CHALLENGING TO HELP THEM MANAGE THEIR TIME. MANY OF THESE WOMEN TURNED TO VALIUM AND ALCOHOL TO HELP THEM COPE WITH THEIR FEELINGS OF HOPELESSNESS AND ISOLATION.

I think, just as it happened for the institution of marriage in the last 30 years, people are starting to wake up from the brainwashing that parenthood equals good, equals lifetime accomplishment, equals the top tier of society, equals validation as a human being. And those who once 'drank the koolaid' are waking up, rubbing their crusty eyes, and joining US in saying 'wtf is this all about and how the hell did I end up here??'. I applaud them for telling the truth, but I'm neither shocked nor surprised at their admissions. The truth hurts when it rubs against the grain of what you've all been told to believe.