I spew venom at middle-school kids and win

I am cooking a cornish game hen on the hibachi. Gradually, a group of shitbags about middle or junior-high school age(s) materializes at the foot of my driveway (about 30 feet from the deck where I was cooking). There is a public playground with tennis courts, softball games, etc. across the street. These punks engaged in almost-but-not-quite-fighting and posturing, and may I add VERY LOUDLY. I decided that I could "take" them (and besides, Steve was home and there were ball games) so I stepped down and bellowed "SHUT UP!!!! Take it somewhere else!" There was one feeble attempt by someone at mocking me, and after that, they melted away. I must have scared them (I know I did; I have a very loud voice without even trying, and I was TRYING), but I didn't hear any complaints from the peanut gallery.

Damn kids. I always get a headache after I raise my voice to the maximum volume.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Good for you!

Unfortunately, since I am deaf and never learned to speak, I couldn't yell at three stupid girls who were tearing up gardens and stealing flowers right in front of me (I was walking home from supermarket and the three morons were in front of me, BTW.)

When one fat girl ran into the garden of a bed-and-breakfast Victorian house to rip off a flowering bush, I ran over to the front door to ring the doorbell so I could report the three sluts.

No one came, so three little girls got away with murder.

What should I do next time?=P

If you had a camera you could have taken their picture and reported them for vandalism.

They weren't vandalizing, or I would have done something like that. EVERYONE has a digital camera nowadays. The fact is, there is a playground right there, so every once in a while the kids spill over into the street. I grew up here, and we are planning to move when a) my grandparents die (they live next door) and b) when the real-estate market has recovered from the sub-prime mortgage crisis.

When I was a kid and we made noise near the houses, inevitably some adult (usually the PARENT of one of us) would holler, "SHUT UP OR GO IN THE PARK!" Nice to see that some things haven't changed.

Poofy_poof... :yr

I HATE that age. Several years ago my brother owned a convenience store and I was working. All was fine until a gaggle of punk-ass, self-centered, skateboard-riding 13-year-old shit boys came plodding in slamming their skateboards and chewing gum. I don't remember what I said or did (it's a foggy red blur), but my brother ended up sending me into the "back office" to chill out.