Are we programmed?

Do our mommies try to program us at a young age to want babies?
My 18 year old sister is currently being forced to work at a daycare. My mom is forcing her to work there, because it will be good for her.
My mom made me babysit every spare minute of my day.
Was this her lame atempt to make me want babies? Or did she just want me and my sister to be as unhappy as she is?
Funny is they are aware I don't want kids and have been since I was a child. My sister is following in my footsteps and she also has announced she doesn't ever want kids.
My brother gave my mom 5 grandkids, you would think that would be enough.

How can she force your sister to work there? shes 18, she can start to lead her own life and work where she wants

we are programmed, yet its up to us to choose whether to obey or run it.

for years people are taught to think to be an individual, and genetically we are, however we have the instincts to kill animals and eat them raw.. but we dont.. we over ride the cultural, socialogical standards to be that individual.

Its easy to go along with the herd, its harder to be individuals..

nature/nurture.. chimpanzees when give dolls and toys they choose what they like to play with.. we are rational thinking beings, we can make such decisions.

so yes we are programmed, but we dont have to run it. at least thats my opinion

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

nokyds4me Wrote:
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> How can she force your sister to work there? shes
> 18, she can start to lead her own life and work
> where she wants


Well it goes something like this, and I warned her about it.
my parents bought her a new car and a laptop for graduation. The rule was she had to pay half the car payment until school starts, I knew she would not be able to find a job and would end up at that crappy daycare. I told her not to take the car because mom would make her think that she owns her after they gave her the car. My sister had to take the only job availabl, or lose the car and laptop. I warned her not to take the bribe, that she would be mom's puppet if she did.
I am the only one who did not take the bribe when I graduated.

My years of childcare work cemented my resolve to never have children. Sometimes people bingo me, and I can usually shoot them down with a simple "I've already experienced that, and have no desire to do it any more." If they answer "Well it's different when it's your own" I get to say "It's still the same shitty work that I have no desire to do." or "My favorite part was returning them to their parents, you NEVER get to do that with your own"

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

When I was a teenager my mother made it very clear that if i got knocked up the party would be over. She has maintained that position thanks to my choice of husband(s).

As much as we haven't gotten along, she never wanted me to be trapped.

Kids bore me to tears. Can't take them to concerts, wine tasting, to beer fests, fancy restaurants, camping, boating, out on the Harley, festivals, shopping, or anywhere else.

Oh, sure you can, I forgot, but then you'd be just like every other breeder in the world who has no time for anything of their own, no peace and quiet when you do want to do something, and annoys the fuck out of everyone around you with your kid that you just can't leave at home. When I'm out with hubby, the LAST thing either of us want is to have some high-maintenance distraction ruining our day.

My mom forced me into this shitty babysitting gig for the entire fucking summer from 8-12 noon the summer between 8th and 9th grades. I was miserable and got paid SHIT. Actually, it was not even SHIT, it was just the shit smell. I already hated kids and this just cemented it. The kid, a 3 year old girl, was a whiney, wimpy, scared-of-everything pain in the ass, who grew up to be a fucking weirdo.

I mean seriously, what do you actually DO with a kid to interact with it? Can't talk politics or ask them what books they've read lately. I really think parents think the same thing which would account for all the shitty parenting jobs being done today. "Here, sit in front of the TV for a while, I have no idea what to do with you."

KFLL,

Exactly. Well said! I have absolutely nothing to discuss with kids. I tried talking about books and movies and you just get this blank stare and one word answers.

Me -What was the movie about?
Kid - IronMan
Me - Yeah, I know that from the title. What was the plot?
Kid - Plot? Huh?
Me - You know, the story?
Kid - Ummm. IronMan
Me - Fuck It!

I think we have a winner:

"Or did she just want me and my sister to be as unhappy as she is?"


Not to worry. It sounds like it may backfire on your mother and it will make your sister more CF than ever.

My mon and dad never programmed me to be a mindless mombie, but quite the opposite. Being an only child, mom and dad let me steer my own way with proper guidance. They never as much said so, but I do know that I was expected to go to college and enter a profession. I was never attracted to any of the baby-type toys for kids, and I did not even like most dolls. I liked Barbie, but that is only because you could buy cool outfits for her!

When I told them I was not going to sprog, there was a visible sign of relief from mom and dad. It just validated what I always believed, that the best programming was their subtle enforcement of discipline and direction over any type of breederiffic propaganda.

I never liked playing with dolls when I was a kid. I had lots of stuffed animals though.

I was also expected to baby sit as a teenager. This is something that teenaged girls are expected to do. No one ever asked me if I really wanted to, and no one offered me other types of work. But I found children and babies to be quite boring. I didn't hate babysitting, just found it dull. I do resent that my own mother never encouraged me to do anything except marry and have kids. She was a product of her religious upbringing. She believed that was the only thing all women should do.

I adored Barbie and Sindy dolls when I was a kid, but I NEVER made Barbie into a moomie or made her do anything moo-like. She was always shopping, changing outfits, spending money, riding her horse, sailing her boat in my parents' pool, shagging Ken, and so forth.
It never even occurred to me to ask for a baby doll to make Barbie into a mother like my friends did. How boring would that have been? Wiping up crap and suckling all day when she could be out having fun? Why would she want to do that? I basically made my Barbie into who I wanted to be as an adult.
Now I just need a horse and a boat...

Very cool!

My Barbies had extravagant parties, awesome clothes which I designed and my mom sewed up for me, orgies, gay friends, houses in the mountains and France, and their own airline and ski resort. Damn I wish I were Barbie!!!! LOL

Arctic_Fox Wrote:
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> I adored Barbie and Sindy dolls when I was a kid,
> but I NEVER made Barbie into a moomie or made her
> do anything moo-like. She was always shopping,
> changing outfits, spending money, riding her
> horse, sailing her boat in my parents' pool,
> shagging Ken, and so forth..........I basically made my Barbie into who I wanted to be as an adult. Now I just need a horse and a boat...

Barbie was my favorite as a kid. I had a plastic stage with instruments and a hippie minibus, so my Barbies played in a band and rode the van to gigs (kind of like me in my late teens/early 20s LOL). Others worked in the office during the day, then had great sex and amazing shopping sprees at night. They also had a salon play set, dining room set (for dinner parties of course), corvette, backyard barbecue set, and tons of wacky clothes. I was completely uninterested in baby dolls that cried and pissed themselves. Beautiful dolls like Ice Capades Barbie, or the others that were collectibles in ballroom gowns were more appealing than Baby Alive or something *ick*. Some may not agree with me, but I think Barbies (at least up until the 80s/early 90s) were somewhat empowering toys for girls. They offered a fantasy world that could include careers and adventures.

ArticFox and Lucy, wow! it's like my own childhood! I never played with baby dolls. I found them completely useless and utterly boring! One day, my grandma, knowing I hated them, tested me. My birthday was coming up and she suggested I get a baby doll as a gift. I threw a fit, not because I didn't get a Barbie, which was my absolute favorite, but because I was insulted someone would think I deserved a baby, the most useless gift of all, and thus would ruin my birthday. We always did a low key party, a cake, a simple gift from my parents, and that was it. But, don't get me a baby doll, that would wreck the day.
Next time my mother tries to pressure me to spawn, I'll remind her that even as a kid I didn't want to be a mooooomy.

While on this topic, I saw a bumper sticker that made me laugh:

I wanna be Barbie—the bitch has everything!

Funny, my parents never bought me baby dolls, but did buy me barbies. However, they were for riding & caring for the Breyer horses.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Yes I do think we're programmed - girls especially. When you're a kid, your parents say things like "Well when you're a grownup and you have children of your own..." and that becomes labelled in your brain as Expectation. As Desirable. As Normal. Otherwise, parents might mix it up a bit and say to their kids "Well when you're a grownup and living in a chic penthouse in Greenwich Village with your lesbian lover and her collection of black cats..." Etc.

Not that I'm a lesbian, no I'm one notch lower because I'm a straight girl who doesn't want children so I'm 'worse' in the estimation of society, right?

No, certainly in the 70s when I was a kidling, it was expected by my parents that I would grow up to be just like them somehow and have the same low expectations of life. To never go anywhere. To never do anything. To never push myself or challenge myself in any way. To never develop any new or unusual skills. To never invest in myself. Thank god I rebelled and 'got the hell out of Dodge' at 18 and made my own very very different life. Sans kids.

annie35 Wrote:
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> Do our mommies try to program us at a young age to
> want babies?
> My 18 year old sister is currently being forced to
> work at a daycare. My mom is forcing her to work
> there, because it will be good for her.
> My mom made me babysit every spare minute of my
> day.
> Was this her lame atempt to make me want babies?
> Or did she just want me and my sister to be as
> unhappy as she is?
> Funny is they are aware I don't want kids and have
> been since I was a child. My sister is following
> in my footsteps and she also has announced she
> doesn't ever want kids.
> My brother gave my mom 5 grandkids, you would
> think that would be enough.

Generally, baby sitting at a young age will make you dislike kids and will likely reduce your desires to have them. Your brother may not have baby sat enough to know different. It is a very mentally demeaning task that will change the way one sees babies.

bell_flower Wrote:
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> I think we have a winner:
>
> "Or did she just want me and my sister to be as
> unhappy as she is?"
>
>
> Not to worry. It sounds like it may backfire on
> your mother and it will make your sister more CF
> than ever.

Maybe it is a silent goal here.

I think, at the most, there are only about 30% of people out there that are actually programmed well for parenting. The rest, are just there either due to unprotected sex or "follow the herd" situation. Let's face it, 70% of childed people out there are not good parents but rather are total assholes. They suffer themselves and make the kid suffer. I think if we are programmed it is only some of us. I think really good parents do not have to try very hard to be a good parent. They are just programmed to be. The rest are the victims of the circumstance and wish they were CF. If only 30% of people had kids, the world would be a better place. Humans would be a better kind of species, because we would not have to deal with adults that are a product of bad parenting.

I think the number of "real" parents is even lower, more like 5%-10% maybe. and I think most babyeees are mistakes and not planned, I think its selfish for anyone in this day and age to have kids.

Techie Wrote:
>
> Generally, baby sitting at a young age will make
> you dislike kids and will likely reduce your
> desires to have them. Your brother may not have
> baby sat enough to know different. It is a very
> mentally demeaning task that will change the way
> one sees babies.

Babies and toddlers are boring and dull. I have never been fascinated by them.

However I have a female friend, she doesn't have kids right now, but she is totally fascinated with babies and toddlers. I am tired of going places with her because she will point out every baby she sees, go on and on about how cute he is, and will even interrupt our conversations to do this. It gets irritating. I go out with her because I want to spend time with her, not do baby watching and talk about all the babies she sees. I am starting to wonder if I really have anything in common with her. I have more interesting things I want to talk about, and apparently she doesn't.

Techie Wrote:

> Generally, baby sitting at a young age will make
> you dislike kids and will likely reduce your
> desires to have them. Your brother may not have
> baby sat enough to know different. It is a very
> mentally demeaning task that will change the way
> one sees babies.

I was also forced to babysit at 12, then wanted nothing to do with caring for babies or little kids whatsoever after that. Nothing could change my dislike of babies & nothing since has.

Your exactly right about the mental drain, not to mention all the other unpleasantness. I felt I wasn't prepared for that & felt very overwhelmed. But what I was most angry about (& still am) is how everyone assumes you will love it, because you have a set of ovaries.