Home
>
The Living Room
>
Topic
Classy/Stupid ass breeders
Posted by Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Classy/Stupid ass breeders June 03, 2008 |
Over at Something Awful Comedy Goldmine, they have a new topic, "More Failures Of Humanity". Most of the stories involve parents and their kids.
Here's a few.
"One time I was at a small hardware store where the only other occupants were the store's owner and a dad with his young son. The kid picks up a hammer and starts playing with it, the dad sees this, rips it out of the boys hand, and somehow manages to clunk himself in the forehead with the hammer. He dropped like a stack of bricks while the store owner called 911. It was more like an accident, but it seemed pretty stupid at the time."
"This was about four years ago. I was sitting in the car waiting for my wife to grab something in a craft store. This woman came out carrying a kid about two and with little girl about six or so behind her. The girl was screaming so much her face was red. She wanted something in the store and the mother had said no. As they were making their way across the lot the six year old picked up a rock and chucked it. Direct hit to the base of the mother's skull. She went down on top of the two year old and wasn't moving."
"I ran over to help and possibly call 911 and she started to get up. She thanked me then turned to the six year old. All i could think was how my mom would beat my ass for such a thing. She just looks at the kid and says "You must have really wanted that, lets go back inside and get it for you". Fucking phenomenal."
"More often than not there will be one or two people drinking at the station whenever I go for the train. Most of these wonderful specimens will have two or three kids in tow. When they travel in couples they seem to put on a sort of cabaret for the normal passengers. Lots of angry shouting, bitter recriminations and threats of violence make for a nice commute. On Friday one shirtless guy decided that he was sick of his "fucking cunt" of a wife and so sat down one end of the carriage talking shit about her, pausing only to drink from his bourbon and coke."
"I was at a sort of cheap resort in Hawaii, out by the swimming pool. This lady had a toddler who she was bopping around with out in the water, so that's fine. Then she decides to change the kid's diaper on one of the lounge chairs. Ok, kinda gross but I guess I can handle it. But when she got the kid naked, instead of wiping him with a baby wipe or something she takes him over to the pool and starts DUNKING HIS SHITTY ASS IN THE POOL WATER. Dunk, dunk, dunk! For Christ's sake, lady! At least pretend to care if the pool is full of your baby's shit-chunks."
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/more-failures-humanity.php
MIB
Here's a few.
"One time I was at a small hardware store where the only other occupants were the store's owner and a dad with his young son. The kid picks up a hammer and starts playing with it, the dad sees this, rips it out of the boys hand, and somehow manages to clunk himself in the forehead with the hammer. He dropped like a stack of bricks while the store owner called 911. It was more like an accident, but it seemed pretty stupid at the time."
"This was about four years ago. I was sitting in the car waiting for my wife to grab something in a craft store. This woman came out carrying a kid about two and with little girl about six or so behind her. The girl was screaming so much her face was red. She wanted something in the store and the mother had said no. As they were making their way across the lot the six year old picked up a rock and chucked it. Direct hit to the base of the mother's skull. She went down on top of the two year old and wasn't moving."
"I ran over to help and possibly call 911 and she started to get up. She thanked me then turned to the six year old. All i could think was how my mom would beat my ass for such a thing. She just looks at the kid and says "You must have really wanted that, lets go back inside and get it for you". Fucking phenomenal."
"More often than not there will be one or two people drinking at the station whenever I go for the train. Most of these wonderful specimens will have two or three kids in tow. When they travel in couples they seem to put on a sort of cabaret for the normal passengers. Lots of angry shouting, bitter recriminations and threats of violence make for a nice commute. On Friday one shirtless guy decided that he was sick of his "fucking cunt" of a wife and so sat down one end of the carriage talking shit about her, pausing only to drink from his bourbon and coke."
"I was at a sort of cheap resort in Hawaii, out by the swimming pool. This lady had a toddler who she was bopping around with out in the water, so that's fine. Then she decides to change the kid's diaper on one of the lounge chairs. Ok, kinda gross but I guess I can handle it. But when she got the kid naked, instead of wiping him with a baby wipe or something she takes him over to the pool and starts DUNKING HIS SHITTY ASS IN THE POOL WATER. Dunk, dunk, dunk! For Christ's sake, lady! At least pretend to care if the pool is full of your baby's shit-chunks."
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/more-failures-humanity.php
MIB
Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.