The Feminine Mistake

casseyrod Wrote:
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> I read one article in a magazine geared towards
> women with kids, I can't remember if it was
> Woman's Day or Good Housekeeping.
>
> Anyway, the article said that surfing the internet
> was a good job skill, because many employers need
> to hire people to do internet research.
>
> The sad fact is, any moron can use the internet.

Most of those "get paid to surf the Internet" are telemarketing jobs. For awhile, most of them were boiler room outfits to get callers to buy a travel package they "won" when they got a pop-up on the 'Net. Total scams!

Right on Am!
If I'm home sick and a telemarketer calls, I'm sure to be *EXTRA* rude because

1. they are disturbing my sleep and

2. you know they are just about ALWAYS a breeder.

I posted about this book on another message board, and the SAHMs came out in full force telling me how financially prepared they were for a split up. How they could drop right back into the workforce at a moment's notice, because employers were contacting them out of the blue to come and work for them, dontcha know.

I later joined a divorce board spinoff of that board and found out the reality of how unprepared many of these women were, and how many were trapped in abusive marriages because they had no financial resources of their own. I'm so glad I dodged the parenthood bullet, and was able to walk away from my marriage with only the worry of my emotional well-being on my mind, not whether I could afford to escape.

SASafrass Wrote:
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> I posted about this book on another message board,
> and the SAHMs came out in full force telling me
> how financially prepared they were for a split up.
> How they could drop right back into the workforce
> at a moment's notice, because employers were
> contacting them out of the blue to come and work
> for them, dontcha know.

Even if the SAHMs kept up with licensing and classes for their former line of work, most employers want to see resumes with current jobs as the requirements for positions change as time goes by. I looked to get back into temp office work after some time in security. Pay had not changed much...but, BOY, the requirements sure had! What used to be an 'answer-the-phone' job with some extra duties turned into needing mega-computer skills!

MwR, that is a horrible story! I wish more women would just say "F-it" and tell the husbands to go ahead and take custody of the kids. Women are conditioned to fight and fight and fight for those children who end up being ungrateful in the end. Any mother, who is reading this and dealing with this stuff, LET the guy take the damned kids! It ain't worth it. Most divorces are about who has the better lawyer. I know I am heartless but women need to grow a spine and cut the kiddies loose if it comes down to staying with a husband due to threats of losing them or breaking free.

I can think of some good jobs for former SAHMs that they can instantly qualify for, based on their so-called "skills":

1) Telemarketing

2) Janitor

3) Housecleaner/maid

4) Wal Mart greeter

5) Pet sitter

That's about it.

"5) Pet sitter "


HEY I take offense, im a pet sitter and groomer. LOL (just kidding, I dont take offense)

"5) Pet sitter "

There's no way I would let a lazy-ass SAHM catsit for me!

I've done Janitor (office cleaning) and Telemarketing work as well. Jill of All Trades...Master of None...

Both were extremely hard jobs. Office cleaning is grueling work and tough on the back.

Telemarketing...well, it is hard calling and saying the same thing over 'n over again. We want to let the person go after the first "no" but it is expected to rebuttal. The supervisors are horrible and will monitor us and get all over us for letting the call go.

I think a Wal-Mart greeter job would be difficult just standing there all day and not really doing a lot. That is worse than being totally busy during the entire shift.

> I've done Janitor (office cleaning) and
> Telemarketing work as well. Jill of All
> Trades...Master of None...
>
> Both were extremely hard jobs. Office cleaning is
> grueling work and tough on the back.
>
> Telemarketing...well, it is hard calling and
> saying the same thing over 'n over again. We want
> to let the person go after the first "no" but it
> is expected to rebuttal. The supervisors are
> horrible and will monitor us and get all over us
> for letting the call go.
> I think a Wal-Mart greeter job would be difficult
> just standing there all day and not really doing a
> lot. That is worse than being totally busy during
> the entire shift.


Yes, these are hard jobs. No one would argue otherwise.

But they are also jobs that don't require specialized skills or much education/training.

And if someone has been out of the workforce for 10 years or more, these are likely the only types of jobs they could qualify for.

Man, that is sad, married with rabbits! I learned early in life to take care of myself. When I left my first marriage, I was working ful-time and was able to support myself.

After my divorce, I got my own place and did not run home to Mummy. Sorry, but I would (and once, during a rough patch, DID) go to a homeless shelter before asking my mother to take me in.

Women need to realise that they need to have a Plan B if marriage does not work out. SAHMs are at a distinct disadvantage in this instance. Raising a passel of brats does not make a woman a nurse, an accountant, or all the other things the SAHMoo contingent claims. Get a clue, get some education, and get a job so that if SkankDaddy runs off with someone
younger or prettier, you aren't left completely high and dry!

casseyrod Wrote:
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> > I've done Janitor (office cleaning) and
> > Telemarketing work as well. Jill of All
> > Trades...Master of None...
> >
> > Both were extremely hard jobs. Office cleaning
> is
> > grueling work and tough on the back.
> >
> > Telemarketing...well, it is hard calling and
> > saying the same thing over 'n over again. We
> want
> > to let the person go after the first "no" but
> it
> > is expected to rebuttal. The supervisors are
> > horrible and will monitor us and get all over
> us
> > for letting the call go.
> > I think a Wal-Mart greeter job would be
> difficult
> > just standing there all day and not really doing
> a
> > lot. That is worse than being totally busy
> during
> > the entire shift.
>
>
> Yes, these are hard jobs. No one would argue
> otherwise.
>
> But they are also jobs that don't require
> specialized skills or much education/training.
>
> And if someone has been out of the workforce for
> 10 years or more, these are likely the only types
> of jobs they could qualify for.

The women, former SAHMs, that I worked with on those jobs were surprised how hard they were due to low in pay. They mistakenly thought a low-paying gig was going to somehow be 'easy'. If that was the case, the ads would not always be in the classifieds as most people will do this work until something better is attained.

I've noticed that SAHMs also tend to think that high paying jobs are "easy". They will say "I know what she does at her job, anybody could do that".

But I don't know if they really believe that corporate jobs are easy, or they are just trying to put down the women who work those jobs.

Its also possible that they know so little about the business world, that they have no real comprehension of what these jobs involve.

And with regard to non-corporate jobs - even getting a job at a bakery or florist is going to require some level of training and expertise.

Its very clear to me that many people think all nurses do are take temperatures and clean bedpans. Its an unfortunate misconception. Nurses have to do a lot more than that. They have to go through years of training, and they take many of the same classes that pre-med majors take in college. They have to be licensed and take out malpractice insurance. They are sometimes involved in life-or-death decisions. I've known many nurses. I don't think I could handle doing a nurse's job.

I find it humourous that the same people who look down their noses at these occupations, would never get hired to do those jobs.

I've been to many employment agencies in the past, sat in the waiting room and heard heard SAHMs say "I'll settle for a secretary job if they can't place me anywhere else". Then, were told by the agency that they didn't qualify for any secretarial jobs.

My husband and me are considered middle class. We make in the middle-six figure income bracket and make more than most of our 4+ year college graduate friends. College is NOT a guarantee of a monetarily successful career - big farce that one is, especially today. Parents are so naive today to think their kids' Bachelor's degree is going to get their brat anything other than a 30K (if lucky) a year pay.

Hands-on skills such as mechanics and nurses are in very, very high demand and are bringing some sweet sign-on deals. Why? Because every-fucking-body can do computer software shit. Find a good upholsterer to recover your antique chair...good luck! The middle class laborer is in high demand right now and easy to obtain if you have have half a fucking brain and a little enthusiasm.

MerlynHerne Wrote:
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> Man, that is sad, married with rabbits! I learned
> early in life to take care of myself. When I left
> my first marriage, I was working ful-time and was
> able to support myself.
>
> After my divorce, I got my own place and did not
> run home to Mummy. Sorry, but I would (and once,
> during a rough patch, DID) go to a homeless
> shelter before asking my mother to take me in.
>
> Women need to realise that they need to have a
> Plan B if marriage does not work out. SAHMs are at
> a distinct disadvantage in this instance. Raising
> a passel of brats does not make a woman a nurse,
> an accountant, or all the other things the SAHMoo
> contingent claims. Get a clue, get some education,
> and get a job so that if SkankDaddy runs off with
> someone
> younger or prettier, you aren't left completely
> high and dry!

wow - that is very sad, and thought provoking. your bravery is very inspiring. I'm in the process of dissolving my marriage and my whole drive is about PLAN B. I have a great attorney and a great therapist and let's just say the old man is going to be screwed.

My divorce was actually an amicable one. I am gay and he wasn't. My ex even offered to pay my car note for a year. I took him up on it because it was one less thing to deal with. However, knowing I wouldn't get alimony I didn't ask and I'd been working ever since I married, so the only real change was having my own apartment.

It was hard, even with an ex-husband who was willing to help. It would have been MUCH worse with kids and/or if he'd just bailed out on me and I'd had to fend for myself in a hurry. This is why women HAVE to have a Plan B--today the bail-out or total jerk ex-husband is a much bigger probability than one like my ex.

I will send out energy that all goes well for you, RoseRed. And I'm glad to hear your soon-to-be ex is gonna get screwed big time. Most men on their way to divorce court deserve it!

A lot of women believe the husbands will be screwed in a divorce. A good attorney is important to have for any legal matter. Divorce is tricky. A man or woman can have the best attorney but the settlements and alimony are ulitmately in the hands of a judge. Some judges are very third-wave feminist and will have the men pay dearly. Some aren't and are males who have been through a divorce from a woman who got everything which means the woman is told that she can have the independence she wants without the man's assistance.

Don't forget, many men are often on to what is going on before they even get served with papers. Assets can be hidden. If a house is ordered to be sold, the spouse who is allowed to occupy the place will often keep the home in the worst shape so there will be no bidders. I heard a man say he would light a match to anything of value before the woman gets any of it...and heard of it actually being done. Many men are behind on child support and alimony. Some states have wage garnishment. Others don't and the women are screwed.

Many women bank literally on what they think they will get in the divorce. If the man is the larger wage earner, he can hang on and on 'til the ex-wife cried, "Uncle!" The easiest divorce can drag on even if there are no kids. It is a rude awakening when a woman has dollar signs in her eyes with a divorce coming up and gets very little. It is better for the women to prepare for their own financial independence rather than allow a judge to determine the future.

Property should be split evenly but often it's not. Certain states are selective about what is given to a wife. Other states have a cut-and-dry method where it is based on years married and it there are kids. I worked with guys who hid $$$ even if their marriages seemed OK. I worked with women who thought they would be peachy after divorce only to find they were awarded what they took with them. The wives were in for a rude awakening when their day of reckoning came.

I've walked away with little in a divorce. My well-being and sanity were more important than fighting over property as with Ex #2 or over some electronics with the third one. I quit claimed a condo and never regretted signing a pre-nup agreement. I am far from perfect and done some dumb things in my life but I did not gleefully take from anyone. It often comes back, anyway, as many women do a rebound thing and the new guy gets the $$$ goodies that was paid for by the ex.

It is important to talk about these things. I know I b%tched plenty re: my former husband but there was no $$$ at stake. Heck, I did not even want the stuff in the apartment. Just me, my car, and personal belongings. Anyone getting into this situation should be careful of what is said online. Personal computer usage can be tracked. Posting pictures is the final "sayonara" as the ID has been made. All I can for anyone prepping for divorce regardless if the person is male or female, don't brag about it or count on the financial windfall. Women make that mistake all too often thinking the divorce is going to be like getting a huge ATM payout. No judgment...just advising people to be careful.

:balnokyds4me Wrote:
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> "5) Pet sitter "
>
>
> HEY I take offense, im a pet sitter and groomer.
> LOL (just kidding, I dont take offense)


Actually, I am not sure I would trust a woman with a sprog: sprogs are very good at losing pets... and it is ALWAYS unintentional.
Although, I know some adults without kids who were equally irresponsible. I made my ex give me my cat back when I moved back east (after a year) because he was going to give it to a next door neighbor whom I knew as a complete and total irresponsible flake.
Thank God I got kitty back (1998). She died last year at the age of 18. I miss her terribly.
No freaking whacked out flake who would probably have thrown her out (she was indoor cat: didn't want to go outside) was gonna get her mitts on her. Dumb ex.

Pet sitting is not easy work. A lot of companies want the sitter bonded. The woman is not always going to get sweet kitty-cats or puppies. Imagine the person with the pit bull who goes out of town...

HA! LOL Or 2 cats like mine - brothers - that worked as a team and stalked my friend from work when she stopped by to give the one his insulin shot while we were away. They literally chased her out of the house because they didn't know her. The other cats didn't care.


amethusos* Wrote:
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> ..............The woman is not always
> going to get sweet kitty-cats or puppies. Imagine
> the person with the pit bull who goes out of
> town...