Good things to tell breeders to shut them up

If you get bingoed, like most childfree get from breeders, and if they ask you when are you going to have childrun, you could say, "the day before I die," or a response to other bingoes, "It's for me to know and you not to find out." What other responses can anyone think up of to shut people up? (and why is it that when you get married or at least engaged, do people think they can literally butt into your business? just wandering....)

I really like that "the day before I die" one. I can only imagine the stunned looks you'd get from that!

I personally like "when I run out of better things to do".

My ex-boyfriend's mother asked us once when we were going to have children, and I replied simply "When they come with a return receipt".

I, too, like "When I run out of better things to do." One I may use in the future is "When it's not a crime to beat them with a baseball bat".

When I can drink through the pregnancy, birth, and next 18 years.

Whenever anyone asks me why I don't have kids, I respectfully reply, "Because I like kids." (Got that from an ancient philosopher, when his mom asked him re: his CF status - who knew they had yentas in olden times?

Because I don't want to fill the world with more people like me.

How about saying "When I get tired of having free time, extra money, being able to hold an interesting conversation, privacy, romance in my relationship and any semblance of a social life" -- and if you REALLY want to alienate them, keep going with "When I'm ready to completely dedicate my life to being a maid, chauffeur, nurse, whipping-boy and all-around slave to a whiny, self-centered, demanding, materialistic, thankless lump of flesh who I'll parade around, proudly bragging about all of said lump's "achievements" [said with immensely sarcastic tone] like using the toilet! and standing up!, and constantly badgering every child-free person I know about having their own lumps so they can be trapped [stress this word] in experiencing the same great joy [more sarcasm] I'm going to be stuck with for the next 20 years."

I think that might do the trick.

That was a good one Stephanie! :yr

I tell them, "For me, having kids has all the appeal of having a Komodo Dragon as a pet." I usually get a strange look then they leave me alone.

"When are you 2 having kids?"

"At dinner tonight with some barbeque sauce."

And if they didn't get the message that time:

"When are you 2 having kids?"

(read in serious tone) "Hmm...I don't know-we have so many crammed up in that attic of ours already."

I tell them "when hell freezes over"

A good thing to do is just ignore them, and they will say, didn't you hear me, say, "I heard." and keep on ignoring them. Since they will get nowhere. hehe.