2799 How to stop feeling tired............

OK mommies, here's my suggestions:

1. have your tubes tied
2. stop playing personal concierge to your kids
3. get a job - anything; full or part time
4. eat right
5. lose weight
6. exercise
7. get the family on a schedule so you can get a regular sleep routine established
8. organize the household; get processes established

But of course these suggestions are far too much for any moo to be able to accomplish or comprehend.

Maybe there should be a government study done and programs in place just for the mommies, so they can stop feeling so tired. It's tough work, being a martyr.

There is so much shit in these breeding magazines with all these fucking lists, tips, articles, suggestions, etc., it's all really very simple.

Can they portray it as simple? NOOOOOO....... we have to blow it out of proportion and make it seem like a fucking ebola virus epidemic.

I would add that use the lock on the bathroom door and let shitleigh scream because he/she can't come in and let you 'go' in peace.
If your damn infant won't stop crying, make sure it's ok, then shut door and go sit out in backyard where you can't hear it. It won't die most likely.
Tell snotleigh if he/she doens't like what is on the table, see you next meal. This is not McDonalds, this is not a restaurant catering to your shitty tastes, and we are NOT goind to McDonalds. When you become a productive member of the family, then you can go whenver yo like.
Lock your bedroom door. If shitleigh won't go to sleep and tries to sleep with you (to get between you) the locked door is an effective barrier. Eventually, it will tire of the game and go to sleep. Might be on the floor in front of the door, but who cares..
When shitleigh storms off to boy/girlfriends house, lock the door and pretend you never had kids.
This is just a start. Feel free to add. You know, maybe we could make a sticky of some sorts.. of what we could theoretically do to kids short of killing them. (that is too quick and easy)

I totally agree with all that was said above. The main reason why being a mom is so "hard" is because these cows don't have any organization or time management skills. The more a person has on their plate, the more structured and scheduled their life has to be...imagine that.

And, yes, they also have no capacity for saying "no" and therefore the kids walk all over them, creating even more problems.

You know, I with ya...


Every time I go out w/ a old friend-now moo or my breeding IL's, I'm exhausted listening to them and their stupid logic of modern life/parunting. I'm exhausted b/c you know how they go on and on about what they *have* to do with Bratley (something I don't think our parunts did, they just parented and didn't jabberjaw all day about it) but I'm also exhausted biting my tongue or thinking of diplomatic ways to tell them they don't *have* to do half the garbage they do.

For example, I was with the IL's yesterday. My SIL baby-sits for extra dough. She baby-sits a family of kyds: get this--an TWELVE year old, an ELEVEN year old and a FOUR year old. My SIL has like an 11-12 year old and a 10-11 year old, um why does the one moo even need a baby sitter one day a week when she has a 12 y.o.? (She doesn't trust him w/ the 4 y.o.- who by the way was a perfect lady when I met her for several hours) But everyone told me--"Iiittt'sss dyyfffferrrentt todayyyyy" I think more about lawsuits and getting arrested for leaving your kyds alone. I can't believe you can't put one or 2 12 y.o's in charge of a 4 y.o. for several hours, especially family members, and everyone is attached by the almighty cell phone these days, not to mention a landline phone. Not to mention, why aren't the 12 yo's out on their own all day playing outside? God, those were some of the best years of my life. I never even checked in too much with my mom, who worked. But I digress...

These are my tips for moos who are so stressed and busy...

--let your brats WALK-BIKE to school, if way too far like in the 'burbs, let them take the bus ALONE, or organize a car pool with other moos so everyone doesn't have to be chained to their kyd. Small kyds can walk w/ older kyds, and all kids can walk from 2nd grade up. If your kyd is first born, FIND neighborhood kyds for him to walk with.

--don't move to the 'burbs that have no public trans or decent sidewalks to use. Every school system is not that sucky just because you blow everything you read in the media. And kyds can learn if they are motivated, by their role models, their parents

--let your kyds play outside and in the yard, w/o parental supervision. (teach them about stranger danger, but don't hide the kids in the house--with the computer which allows a million predators in your very living room.) Let them ride their bikes by themselves, the other day I saw my friends ten year old with his dad on bikes, let him ride alone already, WE certainly did, and KNEW how to cross streets. I never see a kyd alone these days or with other kyds...it is ALWAYS moomie and duddie following them on their bike.

--stop being your kyds best friends, you need not bike, swim, play with them 24/7 like you are. WE were never w/ our parents doing these things, and we made outside influences and friends and parents were parents and we still felt loved even tho we only saw them at dinner time and bed time.

--every weekend doesn't have to be an event, so don't take them swimming, or whatever. LET THEM PLAY WITH EACH OTHER.

--EVENTS and vacation type things are SPECIAL EVENTS, not an every week thing, stop it. Zoo trips are once a year or so, every weekend doesn't have to be family entertainment time.

--Kyds can do their own homework.

--Kyds don't get to sleep with you.

--kyds don't wake parunts up past let's say, 3 yo, and definitely not past 6 y.o.

--kids don't have to go to fast food several times a week, they can eat a bologna sandwich if scurrying off to whatever.

--activities can be keep down to a minimum. Maybe even just one sport a year.

--lessons aren't needed for everything, many of us learned how to swim, sans lessons.

--Gymboree is not needed for 6 month olds (my moo friend, who is complaining about new moohood and working 8 hours a day goes to this--dumb dumb dumb) or at all for any age. WE all survived w/o this.

--2 words: PLAY PEN.

--1 more word--DISIPLINE (yes, from an early age)

--strollers aren't needed every time you leave the home, especially for mobile children.

--start staying home if you don't have a sitter, no Starbucks, bars, dinners---THIS could be considered family time!!!!!

--stop cell phoning your brats all day.

--concerts are for teenagers who find their own way there, stop bringing children to rock concerts for groups they like, or groups YOU like. just stop.

--let your pre teens have paper routes themselves, and teens get minimum wage jobs. Don't pick them up all the time. Let them use the bus.



Now, that you have free time because you aren't catering to your kyds every move,...

--phone a friend for uninterrupted conversation.

--go out with hubby or friends

--read a book

--read the news

--take a walk or bike ride yourself.

--meditate

--have a quite thought

--relax

--here's a big one, MAKE dinner and learn how to cook for your kyds instead of restaurant food making them fat and lazy.

--get a hobby, even sewing or knitting, so you could save money on kyds clothes.

--do adult things sans kiddies, like bars, etc., sleep in your own bed.

--have adult interests and stay current on current events that don't have to do w/ child abduction.

--have a "poker" night w/ friends, but try to invite non-moos, so your whole convo doesn't have to do with brats.

--just be yourself and laid back with your spouse, even if you just watch TV.


STUPID PARUNTS ARE MAKING THEMSELVES TOO 'BIZZY'. JUST STOP.

The answer is simnple...birth control...pre or post birth. Meowww.

The average 4-month old sleeps 11 hours a day. Fact.

So let me get this straight. The thing that makes them soooo busy and soooo tired is in fact totally unconscious half the time. And when it's awake, it's doing what, exactly? It's sitting there. It's laughing. It's crying. It's filling its britches. It's eating.

Sorry I'm just not finding anything to be 'busy' or 'tired' over.

Want busy? Want tired? Work my job 50 hours a week as I do, and spend another 15 hours a week getting to and from it. It may surprise the moos out there, but our bosses don't tend to lay down for two naps a day and give us six hours a day to watch soap operas and game shows.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

"The average 4-month old sleeps 11 hours a day. Fact.

So let me get this straight. The thing that makes them soooo busy and soooo tired is in fact totally unconscious half the time. And when it's awake, it's doing what, exactly? It's sitting there. It's laughing. It's crying. It's filling its britches. It's eating."

Exactly right. I have never had the slightest clue about what could be so "hard" about this setup. It's bullshit, plain and simple. All the whining, complaining and hand-wringing that these women do is for the sole purpose of gaining respect and consideration that they don't deserve.

I still can't figure out what is so bad about a play-pen. It must be one of the all-time greatest inventions, right up there with the wheel and pre-sliced bread. In the 1970's, EVERYONE used a playpen. Then suddenly in the 80's they were evil confinement torture, like stuffing someone in the trunk of a car. I think they are genius, as long as you don't put dangerous objects in with them.

If the kid screams when you put it in the playpen, you can walk away and know that as long as it's screaming, it's breathing.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

I ain't suggesting anything I wouldn't do to my cats

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

I was born in '82, my brother in '88, and my parents were big believers in the playpen. I even had my own outdoors cage. My dad built this huge enclosure with wire fence. I had a swingset, a sandbox, AND a paddle pool. It was heaven, I still remember how much I loved it. My mom said I would spend hours playing in there while they were doing yardwork, they'd just check on me every once in a while to make sure I was ok.

I didn't know this until recently, but my mom said that there were a lot of people who thought the cage was horrible. I guess moos existed back then, too.

did anyone see the Latino who was caging his kids in his car if he had no sitter. He drove them to work with him and worked, my guess, outdoors.

To tell you the truth, I feel they were relatively safe and find it odd, yes, but necessarily wrong, no--that is, if the weather co-operates and he checks on them a lot.

We were in a play pen, too. OMG! the horrors. *snork*.


My niece was never in a playpen, and my sil wandered why she had to chase her around. *eyeroll*.

---

lab mom

CF Uter Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You know, I with ya...
>
>
> Every time I go out w/ a old friend-now moo or my
> breeding IL's, I'm exhausted listening to them and
> their stupid logic of modern life/parunting. I'm
> exhausted b/c you know how they go on and on about
> what they *have* to do with Bratley (something I
> don't think our parunts did, they just parented
> and didn't jabberjaw all day about it) but I'm
> also exhausted biting my tongue or thinking of
> diplomatic ways to tell them they don't *have* to
> do half the garbage they do.
>
> For example, I was with the IL's yesterday. My
> SIL baby-sits for extra dough. She baby-sits a
> family of kyds: get this--an TWELVE year old,
> an ELEVEN year old and a FOUR year old. My
> SIL has like an 11-12 year old and a 10-11 year
> old, um why does the one moo even need a baby
> sitter one day a week when she has a 12 y.o.?
> (She doesn't trust him w/ the 4 y.o.- who by the
> way was a perfect lady when I met her for several
> hours) But everyone told me--"Iiittt'sss
> dyyfffferrrentt todayyyyy" I think more about
> lawsuits and getting arrested for leaving your
> kyds alone. I can't believe you can't put one or
> 2 12 y.o's in charge of a 4 y.o. for several
> hours, especially family members, and everyone is
> attached by the almighty cell phone these days,
> not to mention a landline phone. Not to mention,
> why aren't the 12 yo's out on their own all day
> playing outside? God, those were some of the best
> years of my life. I never even checked in too
> much with my mom, who worked. But I digress...
>
> These are my tips for moos who are so stressed and
> busy...
>
> --let your brats WALK-BIKE to school, if way too
> far like in the 'burbs, let them take the bus
> ALONE, or organize a car pool with other moos so
> everyone doesn't have to be chained to their kyd.
> Small kyds can walk w/ older kyds, and all kids
> can walk from 2nd grade up. If your kyd is first
> born, FIND neighborhood kyds for him to walk
> with.
>
> --don't move to the 'burbs that have no public
> trans or decent sidewalks to use. Every school
> system is not that sucky just because you blow
> everything you read in the media. And kyds can
> learn if they are motivated, by their role models,
> their parents
>
> --let your kyds play outside and in the yard, w/o
> parental supervision. (teach them about stranger
> danger, but don't hide the kids in the house--with
> the computer which allows a million predators in
> your very living room.) Let them ride their bikes
> by themselves, the other day I saw my friends ten
> year old with his dad on bikes, let him ride alone
> already, WE certainly did, and KNEW how to cross
> streets. I never see a kyd alone these days or
> with other kyds...it is ALWAYS moomie and duddie
> following them on their bike.
>
> --stop being your kyds best friends, you need not
> bike, swim, play with them 24/7 like you are. WE
> were never w/ our parents doing these things, and
> we made outside influences and friends and parents
> were parents and we still felt loved even tho we
> only saw them at dinner time and bed time.
>
> --every weekend doesn't have to be an event, so
> don't take them swimming, or whatever. LET THEM
> PLAY WITH EACH OTHER.
>
> --EVENTS and vacation type things are SPECIAL
> EVENTS, not an every week thing, stop it. Zoo
> trips are once a year or so, every weekend doesn't
> have to be family entertainment time.
>
> --Kyds can do their own homework.
>
> --Kyds don't get to sleep with you.
>
> --kyds don't wake parunts up past let's say, 3 yo,
> and definitely not past 6 y.o.
>
> --kids don't have to go to fast food several times
> a week, they can eat a bologna sandwich if
> scurrying off to whatever.
>
> --activities can be keep down to a minimum.
> Maybe even just one sport a year.
>
> --lessons aren't needed for everything, many of us
> learned how to swim, sans lessons.
>
> --Gymboree is not needed for 6 month olds (my moo
> friend, who is complaining about new moohood and
> working 8 hours a day goes to this--dumb dumb
> dumb) or at all for any age. WE all survived w/o
> this.
>
> --2 words: PLAY PEN.
>
> --1 more word--DISIPLINE (yes, from an early
> age)
>
> --strollers aren't needed every time you leave the
> home, especially for mobile children.
>
> --start staying home if you don't have a sitter,
> no Starbucks, bars, dinners---THIS could be
> considered family time!!!!!
>
> --stop cell phoning your brats all day.
>
> --concerts are for teenagers who find their own
> way there, stop bringing children to rock concerts
> for groups they like, or groups YOU like. just
> stop.
>
> --let your pre teens have paper routes themselves,
> and teens get minimum wage jobs. Don't pick them
> up all the time. Let them use the bus.
>
>
>
> Now, that you have free time because you aren't
> catering to your kyds every move,...
>
> --phone a friend for uninterrupted conversation.
>
> --go out with hubby or friends
>
> --read a book
>
> --read the news
>
> --take a walk or bike ride yourself.
>
> --meditate
>
> --have a quite thought
>
> --relax
>
> --here's a big one, MAKE dinner and learn how to
> cook for your kyds instead of restaurant food
> making them fat and lazy.
>
> --get a hobby, even sewing or knitting, so you
> could save money on kyds clothes.
>
> --do adult things sans kiddies, like bars, etc.,
> sleep in your own bed.
>
> --have adult interests and stay current on current
> events that don't have to do w/ child abduction.
>
>
> --have a "poker" night w/ friends, but try to
> invite non-moos, so your whole convo doesn't have
> to do with brats.
>
> --just be yourself and laid back with your spouse,
> even if you just watch TV.
>
>
> STUPID PARUNTS ARE MAKING THEMSELVES TOO 'BIZZY'.
> JUST STOP.


That is totally true CF Uter. Breeders don't need to do all this. I got a friend, she was 100% health, menatlly and physical fit. Untill she got pregnant by mistake and her mum force her to have a child because of moral-god-bible reason.

Now she is stressed, depressed, sick and ill because she got alot to work to do. Actually the kid made her all this. Now I tried to contact her but she is always busy working because her kid keeps her busy.
I think I should use this list you wrote on this and email it to her or send it to her by post, but she might find out it come from me and her martyr mum gets upset.

And here's another one for the dim bulb breeders: keedz = free household labor.

I can't get over this one dumb Dud I used to work with. This guy was a top notch programmer, pure genius, funny as Hell. He was a contractor. He made big bucks; we are talking well into six figures.

He had a wife and three kids, like around 13, 11, and 8. The older two were boys. (Relevant for reasons to be seen.)

Every Spring, he would have mulch delivered to his house. And every Spring, he'd complain that his WIFE didn't help him. I was like, Dude, what about your KIDS? Um, excuse me, you've got a teenager and a pre-teen, why the fuck aren't they helping? Honest to Dawg, he said, the 13 year old won't do it. He stays inside and plays video games. (That says it all right there, doesn't it? The mind boggles.) I said, um, okay, what if you paid him. Dud said, that doesn't work either, they kid will just say, "I don't need the money, Dad." ( DO YOU THINK THERE'S A CURE FOR THAT CONDITION, DUD?)

My Gawd, is that Dud a chump or what? Here he is, busting his ass all day, only to come home and be surrounded by his lazy kids who can't be arsed to do anything in the yard. My own dad would be shaking his head in disbelief over it. I lived in a family of girls, but my father didn't believe in raising princesses. (Like these slut princess you see today.) I was expected to shovel snow, help out in the yard, etc. My parents reminded us that Mom and Dad were working to put food on the table and we HAD to help. It's called living in a household or being part of a family or society: Each must help according to his/her ability. There is no such thing as a free ride.

Yet did my one sister listen? Of course not. She'd be vacuuming her house at 10 p.m. when her kids were small because she "couldn't clean" while they were up. Um, yes you can. Have them do age-appropriate chores and tell them to occupy themselves while you do your chores.

I knew better than to tell my mom I was "bored." She would have given me PLENTY to keep my busy.

My mom had a balanced life. she had kids, yet she and my father still had dates. They had parties where kids were not allowed. *gasp* And it was nothing kinky, it was just a given during that time. Moos were expected to have a social life and interests.

I could never make it as a Moo now. You aren't supposed to have a self now after you become a Moo. It's illegal. Okra said so.

My dad's sister had 7 kids (she was married to a rabid Irish Catholic who didn't believe in birth control).

The youngest, a son, was a REEEEAAAAAL handful-and-a-half. She used to have to put on him on this leash contraption to keep him from darting away and into the street. This kid was a maniac. He got beatings and harsh discipline regularly, which did help.

I remember people looking at her like she was the devil, with the leash thing. Seeing it from her side, the leash was TOTALLY warranted, he'd be dead today otherwise. To date, I've only see a handful of kids on a leash.

Today, is a fully-functioning adult, a school teacher, married and CHILDFREE!

You guys are right the hell on. I don't know if it's really okay for me to be here -- the rules say it's okay, but I'm hesitant -- because I have a child, but I'm here because of threads like this. I'm tired of all this "moms are so busy, moms can't get anything done, if you're not spending 900000 hours and 10000000 dollars on your kids you're not doing it right" crap. Guess what? I run my own business, and when I'm working, my kid is playing in his room or in the yard. When I need to do housework or cooking, he's drawing or playing by himself. When we do go on kid outings -- to the park or whatever -- I bring a book and kick back and relax. He cleans his own room, he puts away his own laundry and dishes, and he cleans up whatever messes he makes in other areas of the house. I don't have to pay a sitter ten million dollars per hour; my twelve-year-old niece does an admirable job for twenty bucks. And I'm TIRED of getting shit for it from other parents; I like reading threads here because y'all make SENSE. I'm sorry if it's offensive of me to be here or to post this -- I'll delete it and go away if you want -- but I had to say that it's SO NICE to see this kind of common sense.

Yes, kids can play by themselves or with other kids. Yes, when an adult has to get something done the kids can wait. Yes, discipline -- honest to goodness DISCIPLINE -- is the way to be effective. Yes, my kid can read quietly in his room in the mornings until my husband and I are awake.

I'm not childfree, and I don't regret not being childfree -- but I agree with the childfree 100% more than I do with other parents. Parents these days are RIDICULOUS, and I hope it's okay for me to be here instead of on themostimportantjobintheworld.com or whatever. And if it's not okay, I'll bow out now with a final "I love this thread."

Bellflower, you said everything I was going to say.

Chores are not child labor, they're education. They teach children responsibility and how to care for themselves. Then again, if you can't possibly cut the apron strings and do anything to help your precious loaf grow up, then you fucking deserve to have to wipe it's worthless ass for the rest of your life...and should legally be required to cover it's costs for the entirety of it's life.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Sara, it's nice to hear from someone who knows how to be a PARENT. Keep up the good work.

sara i was starting to think people like you didnt exist anymore..
well done

Sarah, you are a wonder and a rarity. Keep up the great work!

So... it's okay for me to be here? Heh. I don't want to step on any toes, but I would like to be able to, you know, rant and vent and continue reading and stuff.

Thank you for the kind words. I just... don't get why I have to be "a rarity," you know? It's not so hard to keep your shit together, and it's not that hard to raise a child correctly -- without wasting your own or others' time, resources, or energy. I'm tired of all the excuses, and this thread sort of made me dump it all out. Thanks for listening.

I'm with poofy-puff. Gracious sakes, my mom used a playpen all throughout my and my sister's childhoods. How was she supposed to get any housework done otherwise? Doesn't anyone think a very young child might feel safe and secure in a playpen, with all his favorite toys, and from which he can see Mom? Isn't a very young kid running all over the house a recipe for disaster? That would seem like common sense to me. But as my mom says, "common sense isn't all that common..." (sigh)

clematis Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm with poofy-puff. Gracious sakes, my mom used a
> playpen all throughout my and my sister's
> childhoods.

So did mine. HOWEVER...

> How was she supposed to get any
> housework done otherwise?

By teaching the child from the get-go how to behave, m'dear. It's not that hard. Even science will prove that a baby starts learning literally from the time he/she is born, and possibly even from mom's womb. As Sara said, show the child the things they can do during the time that mommy has to get things done! That's the whole point of this! There's a whole wide world outside that playpen with favorite toys, that a child can have fun with, and be totally self-entertaining with!

> Doesn't anyone think a
> very young child might feel safe and secure in a
> playpen, with all his favorite toys, and from
> which he can see Mom?

Again, NO, NO, NO! There are far too many other factors in a child's security than being locked in a damned cage, with a few token "here's to keep you happy and entertained" "toys". "Toys" are NOT educational, nor are they productive, and another thing - give a child some toys, and what do they want? More toys. Give them something truly entertaining. Something that actually /interests/ them, rather than a few token things to bash around and break, only to want more and more of (in other words, that never honestly /satisfy/ them).

> Isn't a very young kid
> running all over the house a recipe for disaster?
> That would seem like common sense to me. But as my
> mom says, "common sense isn't all that common..."
> (sigh)

Not if, here again, the child is taught to behave from the get-go, with proper discipline. What a load of hogwash. My kids "ran all over the house" from the get-go; they knew their boundaries at appropriate ages, and acted accordingly. They knew what the consequences were from the start if they didn't stay within those boundaries, too.

Again, it's called /discipline/, which can show a child more real love than anything possibly can, and they learn more from it.

Sorry if I crossed the line with the above post, being a parent myself, I should have realized that this forum is for anti-parents only before I posted.

Still, the post itself may prove to be of some value to those of you who know other parents who are feeling tired all the time, and can't get things done?

Again, apologies for crossing the line here.

However, I do stand my ground in that the way parenting is done these days is so backwards, and so stupid. My kids are grown now, I am technically child-free, and experience is gold in this regard, I feel.

Dedanna, my mom used good discipline too. My sis and I knew very well that we were not allowed to get into the cleaning products under the sink, for example. We never touched her collection of beautiful and fragile things in one cabinet. We were taught from the get-go to be respectful, and there were definite boundaries.

But I stand by what I said about playpens. I think it's a sensible tool in a mom's arsenal of things with which to raise a kid. Had I a child, I'd definitely use one. And of course toys can be educational. And no, having toys does not just lead kids to want more--the parents are in charge, no? They can decide whether to get more or not.