Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 14, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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. Bad Aunt? I Don’t Want My Nieces Staying Overnight: In a couple of weeks, my brother and his family (wife, two kids) are visiting the city where my husband and I live. They are unable to afford a hotel, so prior to booking the trip I informed my brother that our place isn’t set up for overnight guests. We live in a loft, and the only room with walls is our tiny bathroom. Fortunately they are able to stay with my brother’s friend. Then my brother mentioned via email—our usual means of communication—that it would be great if the kids could spend one night at our place. My husband and I are childless by choice, and it’s well-known that neither of us cares much for children. We of course love our nieces, though we don’t know them too well considering we see them maybe once a year for a day or two. On our last visit with them, one of the kids barely spoke a word to us, and the other is a teen whose only concern seems to be her phone. Neither my husband nor I is comfortable at the thought of having children as overnight guests. I told my brother this, and he finds it ridiculous that we are refusing to host his kids for a night. Am I a bad aunt for making such a decision?
A: You’re a bad aunt, but just embrace it. Lots of people are happy in their choice not to have children. But when you say you globally dislike all children, even your own nieces, because they’ve inevitably started out life as children, that makes you a bad aunt. You love them? Really? You don’t even want to know them. You’re offended that on the last visit they did nothing to charm you, but that’s generally how people, especially kids, react around others who have not only no interest in them but only contempt. (And no one should take personally a teenager’s focus on the phone.) You don’t want them to stay over, so just stick to that. However, maybe your brother and his wife would appreciate an afternoon or evening to themselves. So you could offer to take the kids to a museum, or a show, or a cool neighborhood. Keep your expectations low, and maybe these slowly emerging adults will surprise you.
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Prudie
But when you say you globally dislike all children, even your own nieces, because they've inevitably started out life as children, that makes you a bad aunt.
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There's a major difference between preferring the absence of something in daily life versus a deep-rooted hatred of that same thing.
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 1,227 |
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Breeder-worshipping Prudie
A: You’re offended that on the last visit they did nothing to charm you, but that’s generally how people, especially kids, react around others who have not only no interest in them but only contempt. (And no one should take personally a teenager’s focus on the phone.)
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Prudie
You don’t want them to stay over, so just stick to that. However, maybe your brother and his wife would appreciate an afternoon or evening to themselves. So you could offer to take the kids to a museum, or a show, or a cool neighborhood.
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 1,788 |
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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ex lurker
It's not just people here who find Prudence's advice often questionable. "Re Prudied" advice is now a thing, whereby her bad advice is re written. Here's one re prudieing for this particular column:
http://archibaldperkins.kinja.com/re-prudied-fixing-bad-aunt-advice-1697627319
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 379 |
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 1,227 |
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hana
Saw the golden parasite and thought it was butt ugly and told it's moo it was an ass ugly abomination.
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
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Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 15, 2015 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 379 |
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yummynotmummy
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hana
Saw the golden parasite and thought it was butt ugly and told it's moo it was an ass ugly abomination.
You, my dear, are legend! :beer
I had no idea what to say about my OH's nephew when we met him - talk about an ugly, squat, fat baybee. Looks like some kind of grub. All I could muster was "oh, he's quiet isn't he".
Anonymous User
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Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 16, 2015 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 346 |
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We of course love our nieces
Re: Another "fuck you!" Prudence column. Hey! Who else is a "bad" aunt (or uncle)? April 16, 2015 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 6,607 |
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yummynotmummy
I had no idea what to say about my OH's nephew when we met him - talk about an ugly, squat, fat baybee. Looks like some kind of grub. All I could muster was "oh, he's quiet isn't he".