Got sick and don't have kids? No help for you!

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keeper of traken
I don't understand why parents would want to register here. Why read a group that is so stridently and vehemently opposed to your lifestyle choice?

This is a psychology question, I am not a psychology major by any means, but, I will describe what I have observed in the past. When a person wanted to be a parent from the very start, they are not likely to be interested in any of the CF sites or what CF people have to say. When a person was on a fence to begin with, they will attempt to explore CF sites and may even join CF groups. If such fence-sitter is later pressured into breeding and they sit there and question if they really had to do it or worse, they completely regret doing it, couple different things happen. More often than not they will go around and be very active in encouraging others to have kids. When others say they don't want any, this fence-sitter will bingo others at an extreme level. There is another thing that former fence-sitters do. They come to CF sites and they try to create a persona that has a life with no kids. While they cannot get a physical reprieve, they are able to mentally distance themselves from reality. Situation closely resembles a person who is in lifelong solitary confinement. Such person speaks to themselves frequently and they speak of things the way they want them to be and not how they truly are. That kind of approach keeps a person from wanting to end it all.

A few years back someone here found a link to a study some guy did that demonstrated both the crab in bucket mentalities of parents, but also the bingoing tendencies.
It would not get serious attention because the group(s) he used were too small in number. What made the study interesting is he repeated it for a second time and got the same results.
He proved that parents generally were miserable bastards who brainwashed themselves into thinking they were happy and leading fulfilling lives, but also trying to convince others to join them in the shit bucket. When resisted, they would get ugly.

As far as the north african invasion, those people should be turned away, put on boats back to the hell hole they came from. It sounds awful, but this is the only way Europe will survive. They are primarily muslim, their sharia shit and the islamic ruling tendencies towards 'strongman' (caliphate anyone??) is what turned their homes into the hell that they are. They have the audacity to flee to other countries, refuse to assimilate, and demand everyone kiss their butt and the right to inflict the same culture that created the hell in the first place on everyone. To me, the question now is europe going down with or without a fight.
Horribly, the only answer to really solve the problem once and for all would be to drive them all out. Which is not an option of course. So, we will eventually have to learn to live like the folk in Iraq, Turkey, Afghanistan, and elsewhere do: get blown up once in a while.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Yep, seven, almost eight months now. Here in Canada the government makes you go through tons of red tape just to make you give up. Welfare moo's and their ungrateful spawn come first here too. Where I live, the town about half an hour away is littered with em. When I have to go into town to get supplies I always see them and hear the brats whining about how they 'waaannnt thissss' or some other stupid thing. I also always hear the parents snapping at them as they're stressed out to the max trying to make their dollar go further so they can afford cigarettes too.

I have lived with my disability this long and it's been a struggle all my life. Hopefully this comes through because it will make my life a helluva lot easier when it comes to my rent and my bills.

@ zzelda and @ peace:

the mods looked up the IP addresses of the other myrna minkoffs, and not only are they not me but they aren't even the same person.

but, hey - great job sleuthing.

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myrna minkoff
@ zzelda and @ peace:

the mods looked up the IP addresses of the other myrna minkoffs, and not only are they not me but they aren't even the same person.

but, hey - great job sleuthing.

myrna, then I apologize for thinking you were the other myrna with kid. I screwed up, and I'm sorry for accusing you without 100% proof. I should have waited until the mods had all the information. Flame me all you want. This is on me.

myrna, then I apologize for thinking you were the other myrna with kid. I screwed up, and I'm sorry for accusing you without 100% proof. I should have waited until the mods had all the information. Flame me all you want. This is on me.


no worries, peace. we all have our days - thanks for owning it.

I'm going to prepare a big plate of crow for myself now. Excuse me.

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keeper of traken
I'm going to prepare a big plate of crow for myself now. Excuse me.

This might help, better than gluten free gurl

_______________________________________________
“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

@twocents: We actually have very heated discussions now around here because some parts of Finland had the guts to shut down any help for refugees. I know that the situation is nasty and people flee because of their bad situation but there are, unfortunately, these types who do come knowing that here they get money and their ass is kissed. Most of them have an army of kids and the more kids you have the more money you get.

About assimilation, we have the same problems. There are persons who flat out refuse to integrate into society and live by their own rules and what is worse they try to impose them on others. We had a huge scandal a while ago with muslims raping the local women, it was a case with a gang rape in Helsinki.

Meanwhile, the country is struggling with high unemployment and doesn't even have the resources to help its own citizens. If one moves to a country at least one should have the decency to learn the language and respect the locals' way of life.

@ twocents and blackpearl: it's the same here. I am in Germ*ny.
There are already no-go areas in some cities due to m*slim migrants.
Politicians are in denial.
Unemployment, no money for infrastructure, higher criminality rate..
you name it.

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Techie

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mrs. chinaski
@ Techie: That's so nice of you :-)
I've always liked the US. That's somehow weird because
I've never been there :-)

We have also a huge problem with immigration here. A lot of people
are coming from Africa to Europe. There are no capacities
for them here - no accommodation, no jobs. The unemployment rate is
already high. It's gonna end up badly, that's for sure.
In the end, Europe will be like Africa but without the good weather :-(

Something will have to change. Either things will get really hard for everyone in EU, Canada and USA or politicians will have to come up with some kind of a plan of action to work with African and Middle East governments where these people can have a decent life at home. USA has a Liberal side to it but it also has a Libertarian side to it. If assistance to everyone is stopped - all locals will have to get jobs or find some source of income by starting a business. Coming here will result in no free benefits, so the number of people trying to show up and settle here without working will naturally be reduced.

We have had government shut down dog and pony shows before, financial support for many public services was stopped. Can it happen again and last longer? Of course! If we continue to be on a coarse that we are on now, it can happen again.

I wonder if it's possible to repeal the Birthright law? I think it was originally created to say slaves born here are considered of the US, but since slavery is no longer legal, it's antiquated and a product of a more oppressive time. I think they will eventually HAVE to do something, the US isn't some place that can eventually keep taking people without it hurting people already here, especially with jobs being sent overseas and the income gap widening exponentially. Plus, it creates an easily exploitable low skill worker base, the type of folks that will shut up and take orders or else lose their job or get sent back overseas.

@nightfire: it is possible to repeal birthright citizenship, but that will require a change in constitution. It can be done, but it is difficult. Right now, majority of people who come here and collect welfare - they vote Democrat. So Democratic Party does not want the change. Majority of people who come here, are willing to work for less, which is what Republican Party wants. So, they too don't want to change anything. In a nutshell, Democrats want more people for votes, Republicans want more people for cheap labor. The rich benefit in most cases and the middle class becomes the poor.

It will be a status quo for now until we are like Greece. Then we will take action. Then, votes won't matter if over 50% of people are on welfare and there is no money to pay them.

@ Techie and nighfire:

As I've already posted, I live in Germany.
Germany accepts more and more refugees.
The population density of Germany is 226 people per sq. km
The population density of USA is 35 people per sq. km.
It looks like you have a lot of space.
Politicians won't stop..

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mrs. chinaski
@ Techie and nighfire:

As I've already posted, I live in Germany.
Germany accepts more and more refugees.
The population density of Germany is 226 people per sq. km
The population density of USA is 35 people per sq. km.
It looks like you have a lot of space.
Politicians won't stop..

We may have the area, but don't forget, most of our southwest is desert. Even if you build concrete homes, where will one get the water? How can one grow anything without water? Rocks and sand are good for something but not for growing food. Germany probably can grow more food per square km than USA can. We already buy a lot of food from Asia, Canada and Mexico. What is next, buy water from Canada?

My big question is this. Once the western world is destroyed by our idiots politicians, when can we, average people, go? I cannot think of any good place. Are there any decent places left in Eastern Europe?

The places in Eastern Europe I know are not OK anymore.
My home country accepts refugees too + we have some
home-made problems - Roma and Sinti.
No money, high unemployment...the same shit.

I think that the it-country may be Australia.

As a CF child of immigrants I'm pretty concerned about the Duggar types and affluent Americans that decide to have 6 mini me crotch nuggets as well. Not really helping solve anything. Can always set up a Go Fund Me for their anencephalic little angyulz that have no chance at life. My moo only shat out 3 of us and I don't think any of us are going to contribute to the breeding pool.

On the other hand I've worked into the system and the only reason I'm able to treat my health and mental conditions is because of my partner's job insurance.

I can understand why people seek a better life for themselves. I really can't fault anyone for trying to find something better, especially if they had the misfortune to be born in a war-torn impoverished country. Were I in that situation, I'd be trying to escape as well. I don't see why a person has an obligation to stay and try to improve the place where they were born, while others who were born in better places don't have that struggle.

What I don't understand is why people in such situations breed, except when they don't have access to contraceptives. If you know you live somewhere horrible, why bring children into it? And when you manage to get somewhere nice, that's no reason to be breeding either: spend your time adapting to the society you live in instead of encouraging prejudice among the native population by refusing to change to fit your new life.

Likewise, I don't understand why people in developed countries want to breed, as if we weren't running out of resources. There isn't going to be anywhere nice to live on this planet soon, and it's all down to breeding and materialism. The former just increases the demand for resources so that even if we all cut back there wouldn't be enough. The richer the country you live in, the more resources your sprogs are going to consume.

Breeders do not give a fuck about the future, they don't even care about the present. It's all about fulfilling their most basic urges. Long-term thinking is never a part of it.

Yurble, breeding is the root cause of the migration issue. Most people want to get out of where they are because they have so many kids, they cannot support them. They come to the USA and countries alike because they want better life for their children. They want their children to have lots of grand children and enjoy the good life that their country has had before they ran out of resources.

I really do not think that myself or anyone on this board would ever mind a CF couple coming over to seek a better life. Most of us would likely want to help them. But that is not what is happening. It is people who have 15 kids and 60 cousins that come here. They have more kids because our system here simply tells them they will be paid for it.

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Yurble
I don't see why a person has an obligation to stay and try to improve the place where they were born, while others who were born in better places don't have that struggle.

We will wait and see. But, I have a suspicion that once our country becomes a difficult place to live in, I am afraid that the rest of the world will not be as receptive to us as we are to them. We maybe living in a better place now, but our future is not guaranteed over here. I think many people can agree that while our life is better than it is in many other places, we would hate to have to give up what we have.

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Techie
Yurble, breeding is the root cause of the migration issue. Most people want to get out of where they are because they have so many kids, they cannot support them. They come to the USA and countries alike because they want better life for their children. They want their children to have lots of grand children and enjoy the good life that their country has had before they ran out of resources.

Some do, some don't. There are people on this board who are immigrants, and I also know immigrants who stopped at 1 or 2, which is really no worse than the native population. People also immigrate because they want a better life for themselves.

Of course many are also thinking children, grandchildren, blah blah blah. That's because many people, no matter where they come from, are breeders.

I just don't think it's reasonable to expect people to stop trying, any more than you can expect bears not to shit in the woods. People (and other animals) will always try to better their lives when they see opportunity.

I know I certainly have tried to better my life, and if I lived in a crummy place I'd seek out better as well.

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Techie
We will wait and see. But, I have a suspicion that once our country becomes a difficult place to live in, I am afraid that the rest of the world will not be as receptive to us as we are to them. We maybe living in a better place now, but our future is not guaranteed over here. I think many people can agree that while our life is better than it is in many other places, we would hate to have to give up what we have.

I don't think anywhere in the world is going to be a good place to be in the future. It's a combination of factors, but the main thing is that the sheer number of people on this planet doesn't allow us all to live well, and I don't see anyone volunteering to live minimally: everyone (quite reasonably) wants lots of resources and a good life. That would only be possible if the world population was maybe 1/7 what it is now.

(Which is what I wish for. I'd like everyone to have their basic needs met and to have a good quality of life, but people just. keep. breeding.)

Right now those of us in developed countries are able to get a bigger piece of the cake, but that cake itself is going to get smaller and smaller as climate change makes many parts of the world uninhabitable and we run out of fossil fuels.

People in developed countries are a big part of that problem. They may have fewer children on average, but consume a lot more resources.

It doesn't make me feel good knowing that the life I enjoy comes at the expense of others. The life I enjoy has nothing to do with my own talents or abilities but with where I was born and historic events. At the same time, I'm not volunteering to live in abject poverty, either. I can at least feel good that I'm not adding to the problem by reproducing.

The refugees are being smuggled here.
They pay to get to Europe.
Smugglers coach them - they know the dos and don'ts.
Refugees are being told that they should procreate
because a family won't be deported, you know - because
of the innocent chyldren!
The men look for German women. Once they get
a German chyld, they are allowed to stay -> Right
to family etc.

I read about a case of an African woman who
came alone, after some years in various asylum
seekers' hostels she got 3 chyldren!

There is an African woman (refugee) who is expecting her 4th chyld
in our little town. It was in the newspapers, people were asked
to help her with stuff for the newborn. No mention of the father.

I also understand very well people who are looking for a better life and improving their living conditions especially the ones coming from war torn countries. But that should be done through work and not shitting out kids and expecting the government to pay one for doing so.

I'm also an immigrant and i knew very well when i moved that it wasn't going to be easy. I also didn't receive any benefits because i moved within EU and i don't have refugee status or kids. Although i had a BA when i moved, nobody cared here and i had to work in jobs below my qualifications like cleaner, taking care of green spaces and driving a garbage truck. At the same time i was learning the language and getting my first MA.

Me and DH weren't married back then, and i wasn't entitled to any benefits, not even student support, no health insurance, no financial aid for integration courses and no integration courses. There were people who told me flat out that why don't i crap out a kid and it will be much easier. And anyways immigrant women don't have that many chances of a decent career and kids are in most cases, the only way to fulfill youself and get a full pass into society.

@ blackpearl: we have the same background - Eastern Europeans living in West - so I can relate.

I went to Germany to study, I didn't get any help. Not even a place in the dorm!
Nobody gave a fuck about me, no information, nothing.
I had a lot of troubles with working permission.as well.

Refugees come and they get assistance immediately. NGO's and plenty of do-gooders
take care of their affairs, they get food, housing, courses...

I am aware of the fact that there is a difference between an European immigrant
and an African refugee, but at least a bit of assistance and information while settling down
would have been nice.

Refugees are used to live in clans. They have like 7 siblings and 30 cousins.
When they want to create their own clan, they should pay for it.

It is a very touching topic when it comes to helping those in need and i have nothing against it but when you look a bit at the background and how certain people arrive here...this makes me a bit skeptic about the whole situation. Plus the way some behave.

Imposing their beliefs and way of life on the locals (i'm refering to sharia, here), trashing the hosting cultures' beliefs and then screaming racism if one displays the national flag (see Sweden) - that scares me. I don't want to live the day when i'm forced to cover myself from head to toe, going out only accompanied by a male and being refused basic rights. Look at one example.

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blackpearl
It is a very touching topic when it comes to helping those in need and i have nothing against it but when you look a bit at the background and how certain people arrive here...this makes me a bit skeptic about the whole situation. Plus the way some behave.

Imposing their beliefs and way of life on the locals (i'm refering to sharia, here), trashing the hosting cultures' beliefs and then screaming racism if one displays the national flag (see Sweden) - that scares me. I don't want to live the day when i'm forced to cover myself from head to toe, going out only accompanied by a male and being refused basic rights. Look at one example.

We got similar stuff going on here in USA and those are the kinds of people that I was referencing to. I grew up around immigrants from all over the world. Most of them were good people. Folks that we have arriving today are very different and I can't help but wonder what will happen, just like you do BlackPearl. Because it is in front of me, every day.

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mrs.Chinaski
@ blackpearl: we have the same background - Eastern Europeans living in West - so I can relate.

From my observation, Eastern Europeans seem to assimilate relatively quickly. Yes, they keep their culture. Not too far away from where I used to live there were a Greek, Romanian, Serbian and Russian churches. Most of the people there were self sufficient. Most if not all did have kids but most if not all had incomes to support said kids. I also saw many people from Africa and Middle East who were just as decent. I have a friend from Iraq - she has PhD and she teaches at a college.

What I have seen in the last 5 years is something different. Our government has created breeder friendly programs and we have people from just about any kind of a background who birth a kid after a kid and the gravy train of welfare never stops. These are not all immigrants, but that's not the important point. As long as we have our government dole out the money to those who don't work, we will continue to have these issues. We will spoil the people that we have here and we will attract lazy people from everywhere else.