desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 30, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,635 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,757 |
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randomcfchick
Any other suggestions of what I could include in the product line?
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 3,978 |
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randomcfchick
I don't spend a lot of time on mommy sites, but today I wanted a shot of schadenfreude so I looked at Scary Mommy. Came across this little gem: http://www.scarymommy.com/trying-to-get-pregnant-at-40/
TL;DR: 40 year old woman is trying to get pregnant and is bewildered by the range of OTC products and services aimed at boosting fertility.
I've mentioned before that if I want to get into a new business, it'll be taking products that don't really need to be specialized for kids & convincing parents that they should buy my specialized-for-kids version (it's worked for TV dinners, padlocks, tupperware, toilet paper, silverware, towels, and zillions of other things).
I might also add another line of products to my Sucker Parents collection: stuff for desperate, older infertiles! I'd make sure none of my items were too expensive, so that some early 40s woman would think "well, I'll just try this one. Can't hurt, right?". And then if it doesn't work, they're less likely to bitch to my company about it.
Easy products that should rake in money for me:
-herbal teas: throw together some herbs that folklore says boosts fertility. Toss in a pamphlet about what part of your cycle you're most fertile.
-stress-reducing meditation cushion: put in some woo-woo things about how stress increases cortisol levels, which affects fertility. Include CD of wave sounds if I feel like charging extra.
-a smartphone app that tells you when to fuck
-a "hypnotherapy" CD (or mp3 download) that will help you reduce stress and create the right mindset for conception (no shit; I know someone who went to a fucking hypnotherapist when she was baby-rabid!).
Any other suggestions of what I could include in the product line?
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 672 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,635 |
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stillwaters
SpermGood douche formula that "creates a beneficial environment for sperm to thrive"
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 10 years ago Posts: 379 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 259 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 5,716 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! January 31, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,635 |
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paragon schnitzophonic
Merge all that ish together into a Fertility Crate that can be ordered online and sent to their doorsteps (and the crate should be shaped like a baby cradle with a little stork on top of it). Or jump onto the subscription packages (e.g., Graze, Blue Apron) where you send specially curated (a buzzword for the hipster Kinfolk assholes) "fertility-boosting" teas, CDs, videos, snacks, meal recipes, etc.
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
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hana
Make sure the herbs are harvested by the light of the full moon so wanna moo can be close to the mother goddess.
Lots of crunchy breeders are obsessed with tinctures which allegedly have different qualities when made during parts of the lunar cycle so make tinctures with the name of the herb, ingredients, and the phase of the moon when made.
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 11 years ago Posts: 438 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 951 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,757 |
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bop
Young, Attractive Celebrity masks for couples, so they can fantasize they're banging someone else during their carefully choreographed bayybee dancing.
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 1,304 |
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thom_c
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bop
Young, Attractive Celebrity masks for couples, so they can fantasize they're banging someone else during their carefully choreographed bayybee dancing.
Maybe that psycho moo in the other thread could knit them Hugh Jackman or Charlize Theron suits...
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,109 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,835 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 3,712 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 5,635 |
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Presto
Magnets to draw the sperm, and LEDs of just the right frequency to "promote fertilization". Or adjustable LED colors so you try one color per cycle, and make sure the color range is infinite so you can always blame the consumer for failure.
Oooh! And a male version too! That you hang around the balls with some kind of fancy radiator looking type of thing because balls make sperm better at cooler temps. As long as it has magnets and lights and a semi-affordable price, the suckers will buy it!
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Presto
Remember to include all your standard FDA disclaimers, "This product has not been evaluated by the FDA. This product is not meant to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any specific condition. All parts of this device are considered GRAS."
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 7,757 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 13 years ago Posts: 12,035 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 01, 2016 | Registered: 9 years ago Posts: 172 |
Re: desperate older infertiles=cash cow!!! February 03, 2016 | Registered: 12 years ago Posts: 2,430 |