A Day in the Life of a SAHM

A Day in the Life of a SAHM

from: parenting.families.com/blog/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-sahm


6:30 am - Wake up, wipe sleep from eyes. Find bathrobe somewhere on the floor, put it on. Stumble out of bed, stub toe on toy two year old left on the ground.

6:45 am - Make coffee, spill water on the counter.

7:00 am - Wake kids. Return to kitchen, prepare lunches for lunchboxes. Pour cup of coffee, burn hand.

7:15 am - Wake kids again. Brush teeth, wake up husband.

7:20 am - Threaten children with bodily harm if they don't get out of bed. Help kids get dressed.

7:30 am - Get kids breakfast and husband a cup of coffee. Pile dishes in the sink.

7:45 am - Instruct children to brush teeth and hair. See husband sipping coffee and reading paper or watching the news on TV (totally oblivious to chaos erupting around him).

7:50 am - Blot out toothpaste with water from the kid's shirts.

8:00 am - Load up the van, take kids to school.

8:10 am - Arrive at school, wait in drop-off line and hope nobody sees you in your jammies. Drop off kids, narrowly miss hitting child crossing the street.

8:20 am - Arrive home. Husband is showered and dressed and walks out the front door, dripping coffee on the floor as he exits.

8:30 am - Change baby's diaper and get baby's breakfast ready.

8:45 am - While baby is eating, clean up kitchen and load dishes in dishwasher.

8:50 am - Clean up baby's mess, wipe up floor and pick cheerio's out of your hair.

9:00 am - Dress baby.

9:10 am - Make beds and collect laundry.

9:15 am - Find two day old diaper in baby's room under pile of clothes.

9:20 am - Load washing machine.

9:30 am - Play patty cake with baby and watch "Sesame Street".

9:45 am - Zone out watching Big Bird and make lists in your head of things to do.

10:00 am - Change laundry from washer to dryer.

10:15 am - Unload dishwasher.

10:30 am - Prepare baby's snack, nibble on a cracker.

11:00 am - Lay baby down for a nap.

11:15 am - Clean up bathrooms, scrub left over toothpaste from bathroom sink.

11:30 am - Get dressed.

12:00 pm - Check email, see urgent email from last week you forgot to return.

12:30 pm - Wake baby, feed lunch. Eat baby's left over pb&j.

1:00 pm - Change baby, clean up lunch mess.

1:30 pm - Clean up husband's spilt coffee, make cup of coffee for yourself.

2:00 pm - Fold laundry, leave on top of dryer.

2:30 pm - Clean up goldfish crackers baby found and spilled and crushed into rug.

2:45 pm - Leave to pick up kids from school.

2:50 pm - Listen to kids complain about their teachers and friends.

3:00 pm - Pick up husband's dry cleaning.

3:15 pm - Run to grocery store

4:00 pm - Return home, find dry cleaning in a pile on the floor of van that baby must have pulled down.

4:15 pm - Unload groceries, find 2 boxes of sugar cereal you're sure you didn't put in the cart.

4:30 pm - Start homework, look for pencils for 15 minutes.

4:45 pm - Help with homework, racking brain to remember how to add fractions.

5:00 pm - Start dinner. Place pencils in secure location.

5:30 pm - Referee argument between children.

6:00 pm - Greet husband, serve dinner, pile dishes in sink. Listen about husband's stressful day.

6:45 pm - Drop off son at cub scout meeting.

7:00 pm - Return home. Start dinner dishes.

7:30 pm - Bathe baby. Get drenched like a visit to Niagra Falls.

7:50 pm - Read story, sing one lullaby, put baby to bed.

8:00 pm - Pick up son from cub scout meeting, agree to give friend a ride home.

8:30 pm - Arrive home, start nighttime showers.

9:00 pm - Put older children to bed.

9:30 pm - Finish dinner dishes, wipe kitchen counters.

9:45 pm - Sit with husband, lie about how great your day was. Listen to husband complain about how he is the only one who works at his company.

10:15 pm - Announce that you're tired and off to bed.

10:20 pm - Walk past laundry room, take more clothes out of dryer, fold.

10:30 pm - Visit www.families.com

10:45 pm - Put baby back in her own room.

11:00 pm - Arrive in bedroom, get in bed.

11:30 pm - Dose off.

11:45 pm - Sit straight up and remember that you offered to make cookies for kids school the next day.

11:50 pm - Write note to self reminding self to pick up store bought cookies before school.

12:00 am - Check, then recheck alarm.

12:15 am - Hear husband coming up stairs.

12:18 am - Pretend to be sleeping.

12:30 am - Dose off again.

12:45 am - Sleep!

LMAO OMG I got worn out just reading it!

Hey, how about a "Day in the Life of a CF" on this board? Should I start it, or might that incite the envy of the rest of you?

And this is supposed to be... inspirational? ...a warning? Do they want a medal, or what?

How degrading and unfulfilling.

We might as well call SAHMs "housewives"; they're exactly the same thing.

dont they have school buses where she lives? and what a boring, mind numbing life, that would be my HELL

12:15 am - Hear husband coming up stairs.

12:18 am - Pretend to be sleeping.

Reason 5,688,342 not to spawn: puts a damper on your sex life!

I feel somewhat sorry for her husband. He foots the bill so that she can stay home with her pwecious sprogs (that she undoubtedly begged him for), but she can't even let him have her cavernous pussy for five minutes before bed?

First off, this bitch is HORRIBLY unorganized. It takes me a fraction of the time it takes her to do all that shit.

And the husband, that selfish bastard, sipping his coffee while preparing for his day of EARNING THE FAMILY INCOME SO SAHM CAN STAY HOME ON HER LAZY ASS.

This list means nothing to me. All it is, is a scattered list illustrating how these SAH IDIOTS waste time. I love how they add little things like "stub toe on toy...." and "spill coffee on the counter" as if that's supposed to add to the chalamity of their BIZZY morning. (yawn)

If that were my life, I would have a serious drinking problem.
How pathetic. call it A day in the life of a slave.

What's she "dosing" on? With all that spillage I have my doubts...

She left off quietly die inside, while crying in the bathroom at my pathetic life.

i think "stay at home mawms" forget one very important thing...............



THEY chose this life, this is what they signed up for!! SO FUCK OFF!!

nokyds4me Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> i think "stay at home mawms" forget one very
> important thing...............
>
>
>
> THEY chose this life, this is what they signed up
> for!! SO FUCK OFF!!


I agree!
All they do is bitch and moan. They accepted the job, now suck it up and stop your bitchin.

My mum use to be a SAMH and she works in the evening from 5pm - 9pm.
Her job was less complicated. In fact she did half of the list above before she works in the evening. She got to bed at 10-11pm. This was 10 years ago and there was none of this 24-hour schedule like now.

I look at the moo schedule and she go to be at 12:45am and this is daily. I didn't know it is more damanding. Again my mum never went through all this. I think today's moo schedule is an unpaid slavery.

This stupid moo is so disorganized. If her stupid kids are old enough to go to after school activities, they're old enough to take responsibility for some of moo's chores. My mother worked and the night before we would pack lunches and lay out our clothes for the next day. We also had to do our homework as soon as we got home from school, no goofing off until it was done. We also helped with laundry and dishes. My mom wouldn't have volunteered to make cookies if she knew her schedule was too hectic to do so, but if she did volunteer making them would have been a priority. Also, back when I was a kid we didn't have a million after school activities.

Working mothers are far more organized. When I taught, it was the kids with the SAHM's who forgot homework, or came to school late. Why bother to remember homework if moo can just bring it in. These kids are also constantly late because moo has to drive them. I rode the bus everyday of my school career. Once when I was going through a prissy phase I missed the bus two days in a row because I was busy straightening my hair. The first day my mom drove me to school. The second day I walked there, three miles in wet drizzle, and I was the one left to explain to the school why I was late.

I personally hate most SAHM's. I find them lazy, and their kids are usually a mess. There is no way that bi-otch spends her day on a schedule even that organized. You know there are some slots for a nap and Maury!

No freaking wonder they can't get jobs after spending years staying at home.

They are not learning or developing any valuable skills.

Do they want a medal? You bet they do. They feel entitled to it. But there are no medals handed out for being a SAHM. Never will be.

Is this supposed to generate pity? Especially with the subtle jabs at the husband. Newsflash: If your husband doesn't help out around the house before the kids are born he won't magically begin to afterward. Count me in on the "you chose this life" camp. These moos knew exactly what they were getting into, and if they didn't then they are dumber than I thought.

A Day in the Life of an Unemployed Childfree Wife (by me)

10:00 am – Get goodbye kiss from husband leaving for work.
11:00 – Wake up.
11:05 – Check online comics/news/blogs/email.
12:00 pm – Apply for jobs online, send emails and make phone calls about potential jobs.
1:00 – Take nice long shower; wash and condition hair, shave legs.
1:30 – Get dressed.
1:35 – Blow-dry hair, put lotion on tattoos.
1:45 – Cook nice lunch (cream of broccoli soup, today).
2:15 – Eat said lunch while watching DVD of favorite TV show (“Psych”).
3:30 – Clean up (and be happy that it didn’t involve picking Cheerios out of hair).
4:00 – Zone out on the internet for a while.
6:00 – Have stimulating phone conversations with family members (not punctuated by screaming children).
7:00 – Sit on back deck with a good book and enjoy the cool evening breeze.
8:00 – Have a snack.
8:30 – Clean out hamster cages (involves removing toys, etc. from cages, scooping out old bedding, cleaning interior of the cages, adding new bedding, replacing toys, cleaning and refilling food bowls and water bottles).
9:15 – More internet time: catching up on LiveJournal, Bratfree Board, email.
10:00 – A little TV time…watching DVR recorded documentaries, not shit from the Disney Channel.
10:30 – Husband arrives home from work; kiss and greet and sincerely tell each other about our days.
10:45 – Start making dinner with husband.
11:15 – Sit down to dinner…the house is completely quiet, save for our intelligent conversation.
11:45 – Read while husband showers…or possibly join him.
12:00 am – Couple stuff…watching TV, playing board games, other things .
2:00 – Bedtime.

cfhistorian, that sounds like a very nice day! All righty, here's mine:

A Day in the CF Life

5:45: wake up with DH; DH turns on stove and coffeemaker to make oatmeal and coffee that was set up the night before
6:00: I get up; we eat breakfast
6:45: we leave to walk to bus stop
6:50: DH takes bus to work; I return home, let dogs out
7:00: foodle around online with another cup of coffee, throw in and start a load of wash if necessary (every 3rd day or so), hang wash outside, feed and play with dogs
8:30 or 9:00: bike to university library, enjoy looking at microfilm of old local newspapers
noon-2 p.m.: return home
2:00-4:00 nap or writing; more foodling on internet; snack (summer: veggie gardening)
4:00: find tasty-sounding recipe on recipezaar, begin getting dinner slowly ready, interspersed with the chore of the day (rotating schedule; clean bathroom, &c.). Snip chives, basil, other herbs from garden for recipe.
6:20: DH returns home, hugs and chat about day
6:40: eat dinner while listening to radio, talk about radio news stories, do dishes
7:30: DH studies computer lesson; I work on writing/check internet
8:30: DH and I lift weights in garage or do abdominal exercises (alternating days)
9:40: more down time, tea time
10:20: DH takes shower, goes to bed
10:30-12:00: more down time for me; snack; shower & go to bed

I like my weekdays but weekends are good as well; Saturday is usually get up at 9ish, go to Detroit's Estern Market or get up at 11ish, nice brunch, go boating on river for the afternoon, then go to Dynasty Buffet (summer) or get up late, take a walk or free time (winter). Sunday is usually get up late, read NYT over brunch, then free time...that's the life for me.

CFhistorian, it looks like you took up my offer.....I like your day, it has some similarities to mine. I work 2 days a week (for now, it will likely change to zero days in November). Here is my typical non-working day:

8:30 AM - Wake up, go on line while watching local cable news station to catch up on what's going on locally (i.e. weather).
9:30 AM - Make breakfast (hot or cold cereal), finish up online stuff (such as this website). May watch previously taped Law & Order episodes.
10:15 AM - Take a shower
11:00 AM - Do some local errands which may include food shopping, going to the bank, library, post office, or local mall.
12:00 noon - Read a book I just took out of the library; it makes me sleepy so I take a short nap.
1:30 PM - Go back on line for about 20 minutes.
2:00 PM - Have lunch, usually nuking something I cooked a day or two earlier. Put the TV on so I can watch Law & Order on TNT while I eat.
3:15 PM - Time for another nap LOL as the VCR tapes the second L&O episode I can watch later.
5:00 PM - Awaken from my nap and watch Seinfeld on TBS.
5:30 PM - Start with dinner because I have to out square dancing which starts at 7 PM. Also nuked.
6:15 PM - Get dressed up for square dancing. Ladyfriend (who works full-time) comes over because she dances with me some nights.
7:00 PM - Go to dancing. Depending on the night, it runs until 8:30 or 10 PM.
8:45 PM or 10:15 PM - Dancing ends, drop off ladyfriend at her place.
10:30 PM - Return home, watch MSNBC or taped episode of L&O.
11:00 PM - Watch Seinfeld on TV. Check out online stuff such as this website (and others).
11:30 PM - Watch Jay Leno for about 30 minutes. Grab a snack as I watch his monologue and following segment(s).
12:30 AM - After snack sufficiently digests, read some more of the book.
1:15 AM - Go to sleep.

On other nights, I may go to the ladyfriend's place instead of the square dancing. On different times of the year I will do my school Scrabble visits on a weekday instead of the local errands and the first nap. If I have to cook dinner, I would do that usually on a non-dancing night. I also have this game called Strat-o-Matic which is a cards-and-dice sports simulation game I sometimes play.

I like my day a lot more than the moo's day.

I know these husbands made their bed, so to speak, but they do have to work like crazy to subsidize these people-farms. No wonder they eventually go nuts.

Hee-hee... she needs to wrack her brains on how to add fractions? Is she a tad retarded? Or is this placenta brain in action?

Oh, my CF day:

9-10:get up. Slowly. Cuddle BF (maybe more ). See something fun on the internet.
10-11: We make breakfast. Usually a simple apple pie, tea, fruit, fried eggs... yum.
11-12: Slack. Read Internet/ play WoW.
12:00: BF is off to work. Straighten out house, do some chores like washing. Cook my lunch.
1:00 :Read book. Help a bunch of family with proofreading their business site.
5-6: Practice my music
6-7: Cook an elaborate dinner.
7-8: Carate lesson
8:00 onwards: Eat dinner, chat with BF, roleplay, watch a movie, go out on the town...
1 am: bed.
Of course, during term-time I have classes 9-5 +homework, but our weekends still rock... and we share all chores then. And we get to dance and I'm learning how to pilot a glider.

Just as an amusing aside, I was chatting to a friend I haven't talked to in a while. She asked me what I was up to, I said "learning how to pilot a glider". She visibly deflated, and when I asked her what she was up to, she said, "learning about how to care for babies". Apparently she's planning to have them soon. Ah well, we weren't that close anyway.

ok, i'll play.

7:30 wake up, pet cats and chastise them for laying on my legs all night.
8:00 forage for breakfast, usually something that looks like it belongs under a sheet on CSI
8:30- 12 read
12:00 look for any remaining roadkill or palaak paneer
12:30 settle back into the armchair with some sort of adult beverage, aforementioned dejeuner and the book
1:00- 6 read/look for something fun on fearnet/Monk/OCD cleaning shows
6-10 watch everything on tv at once or turn it off in disgust and return to book
10 lights out!

If i'm working, hours 8:30-5 are working, and 6-10 is the treadmill/reading/watching the latest delivery from Netflix.

So glamorous!

Sounds fun! Here's mine:

7.15am Alarm goes off. THe Today Programme on BBC Radio 4 -- intense intellectual debates about politics, the economy, society, the arts. Lay in bed and listen.
7.40am Shower
8.00am Blow dry hair, apply suitable makeup, contemplate what to wear, dress.
8.15am Cereal time.
8.30am Turn off Radio 4. Put laundry in to wash and dry (our washing machines here also dry, so no need to change machines - how James Bond is that). Leave for work.
8.45am Bus, train, walk to work.
9.30am Arrive at work. Then actually work -- communicate things, listen to other people, come up with ideas, solve problems, make decisions. Tea at 11.
1.00pm Lunch purchased from any number of shops or cafes. Maybe a glass of wine or beer (it's Europe so we can have a drink at lunch and it's not frowned upon)
2.00pm Return to work (see 9.30am). Tea at 3.
6.00pm or later: Pub after work or walk, train, bus home. Maybe gym.
7.00pm or 8.00pm: Indulge in any of the local cafes or restaurants for dinner, with or without a friend, or make something nice at home. Selection of beer or wine.
9.00pm: Any one or more of the following: internet, television - something stimulating, telephone, stereo, drawing, letter-writing, novel-reading, doing nails, taking long hot bath, diary-writing, travel planning, general admin, texting friends and making plans.
Sex.
11.30pm Full peaceful night's rest

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

The Westwood SAHMoo schedule:

10:30 Wake up - nanny gets kids off to school, maid does housework
11:15 Mall - charge small country's national debt at Neimans
12:30 Lunch with other SAHMoos - bitch about husband never being home
1:45 Fourth Martini while ogling poolboy (who hates your sagging boobs)
3:45 Tenth Martini-try to seduce poolboy (who decides to go gay instead)
4:30 Nanny arrives with brats - scream at them because you are drunk
4:31 More martinis - bitch at nanny about brats having bad grades
6:00 Hubby comes home and you bitch up a storm about everything
6:30 Dinner cooked for you by maid - bitch more at hubby at dinner
6:31 Drink a whole bottle of wine while lecturing brats on alcoholism
7:30 Maid does dishes, nanny helps brats with homework, another Martini
7:31 More bitching at husband, lie about credit card bill
10:00 Brats in bed, you have a splitting headache and no sex for husband
11:00 Take second Ambien, wake up husband and bitch at him more

I found the SAHM Day in the Life to be just a tad dishonest. More like Day in the Life of a SHAM.

Is she saying that... weep! sniff sniff! boo hoo!... she only gets to 'nibble a cracker' and that's it til dinner but for a mouthful of PB&J????

Um, no.
So I've rewritten it a bit more honestly.

- - - - -

A Day in the Life of a SAHM


6:30 am - Wake up, don't bother wiping sleep from eyes or dried spit from side of face. Find bathrobe somewhere on the floor, put it on but let the tie-cord drag behind. Stub toe on half a dozen toys and two-year old.

6:45 am - Flick switch on machine that makes coffee. Put television on which is still hot because it runs all day and you only switched it off 5 hours ago.

7:00 am - Wake kids. Open a couple brown paper bags and stuff unwanted contents of fridge into them and call it lunch. Sit down. Drink coffee.

7:15 am - Wake kids again but don't bother getting up. Just use powerful lungs to scream at kids which has added benefit of waking husband up. Keep sitting. Drink coffee. Eat donut. Look for coupons in paper. Drink coffee.

7:20 am - Don't help kids get dressed because they are of school age and do not need help getting dressed. Keep sitting. Drink coffee. Another donut.

7:30 am - Watch kids get their own cereal breakfast. Keep sitting. Tell husband to get you another cup of coffee. Another donut.

7:45 am - Instruct children to brush teeth and hair. See husband sipping coffee and reading paper or watching the news on TV. Chide him and make him hate you.

8:00 am - Load up the van, take kids to school making sure not to drop the extra donut in your hand on the floor as you drive.

8:10 am - Arrive at school because the school is only 2 fucking blocks away. Everyone sees you in your jammies. Narrowly miss hitting child crossing the street because it's somebody else's child and so clearly nothing more than a piece of bothersome meat.

8:20 am - Arrive home. Husband walks out, possibly for the last time.

8:30 am - Change baby's diaper and open a jar of baby food-goo.

8:45 am - Leave baby food-goo in front of baby to push around highchair tray. Sit down. Drink coffee. Move onto Pop Tarts. Ignore messy kitchen.

8:50 am - Put baby on floor and absentmindedly wipe highchair tray with paper towel. Sort of. Another Pop Tart will do nicely.

9:00 am - Intend to dress baby but opt for slipping a tshirt over her head.

9:10 am - Look at unmade beds and kick laundry into a pile. Grumble.

9:15 am - Find two day old diaper in baby's room under pile of clothes. Resolve to toilet train your nine-year-old some day.

9:20 am - Load washing machine. Sit down. More coffee. There's one Pop Tart left and it looks lonely. Almost as lonely as.... no! Don't think about that!

9:30 am - Play patty cake with baby and watch "Sesame Street". Make lists in your head of things to do. But don't actually do anything.

11:00 am - Lay baby down for a nap. Lay self down on sofa for a post-sugar rush nap.

12:00 pm - Check email, respond to just the one bit of spam that promises a year's supply of diapers free just for answering a few marketing questions.

12:30 pm - Wake baby by waving pb&j under her nose. One pb&j for the baby, three for the 'cook'. Sit down.

1:00 pm - Notice stink coming from baby. Change television channel.

1:30 pm - Notice stink coming from baby. Change television channel.

2:00 pm - Notice stink coming from baby. Change television channel.

2:30 pm - Notice stink coming from baby. Change television channel.

2:45 pm - Supposed to leave to pick up kids from school, but need to change baby's diaper first.

2:50 pm - Listen to kids complain about their teachers and friends. Huh, but just wait til they hear what kind of day YOU had.

3:00 pm - Pick up husband's dry cleaning. That's a total of five used condoms the dry cleaners have found in husband's trouser pocket now. Hmm how wierd.

3:15 pm - Run to grocery store. But not, like, really run. Drive in the van two minutes. Get out, buy some more Little Debbies and Cheetos. Make jokes with cashier about the kids. Get back in the van.

4:00 pm - Return home, find dry cleaning in a pile on the floor of van that baby must have pulled down. Only she can't have, because she's passed out from the heat since leaving her locked in the van with the windows up while you were choosing Little Debbies.

4:15 pm - Tell the kids to unload the 'groceries'. Sit down. Ah, a rogue donut on the end table.

4:30 pm - Ask the kids if they've done their homework. Get mad if they haven't. Stay seated.

4:45 pm - Interfere with homework and be a nuisance. Insist on kids telling you what happened at school today, but halfway through their stories stand up and walk out of the room to go to the bathroom.

5:00 pm - Start dinner. Place TV dinners in oven after removal from their boxes.

5:30 pm - Referee argument between children and make sure the favorite one wins. Shout louder than either of them put together. Smack the other one for crying.

6:00 pm - Sit down. Fail to notice husband entering his own home. Eat whatever's on the plate. Try to listen about husband's stressful day but five seconds is really enough and just wait til he hears what YOUR day has been like.

6:45 pm - Drop off son at cub scout meeting. His den mother is such a slut.

7:00 pm - Return home. Scream at other children for not stacking dishwasher. Ignore husband.

7:10 pm - Put warm water into the tub and spend at least an hour arsing around with baby in bath.

8:10 pm - Read story part way. Put baby to bed and read rest of story quietly to yourself. Continually ignore husband.

8:00 pm - Pick up son from cub scout meeting, agree to give friend a ride home because his dad is so tasty.

8:30 pm - Arrive home, sit down. Open Cheetos. Change the tv channel. Tell children to shower and go to bed.

9:00 pm - Change the channel. Tell children to shower and go to bed.

9:30 pm - Change the channel. Tell children to shower and go to bed.

9:45 pm - Recognise husband and ask him to leave an extra 30 out on the counter tomorrow.

10:15 pm - Announce that you're tired and off to bed. Fart loudly.

10:30 pm - Sit down. Visit www.families.com and lie, lie, lie. Lurk at bratfree.

10:45 pm - Put baby back in her own room because you put her in the wrong room to start with.

11:00 pm - Get in bed. Doze off.

11:45 pm - Sit straight up and remember that you offered to make cookies for kids school the next day. Nah, fuck 'em.

12:15 am - Hear husband coming up stairs after spending half an hour whispering to his friend 'Bob' on the cellphone.

12:18 am - Pretend to be sleeping. Dose off again. Sleep!

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly