Parental Regret

'It's the breaking of a taboo': the parents who regret having children

Maybe more people will actually think about it if this type of conversation becomes the norm. Contains lots of backpedal.

"It wasn’t the child. “I love my daughter and have referred to her as my magnum opus,” Elder wrote in the Quora post. “If anything were to happen to her, I would be inconsolable. For ever. My mistake was not because I don’t love her or because I don’t want her or because there is something wrong with her. It is not her fault by any stretch of the imagination that I shouldn’t be a parent. And because she is pretty damned awesome, what it feels like more often than anything else is guilt. Not because I failed as a parent, but because I don’t want to be a parent.”

She sounds like she has normal motherly feelings for her child, yet says she regrets it all. It doesn't make sense

She wishes she could have skipped the drudge work and delivered a fully formed human 18 years old.

I think of it like this: is there some skill that you wish you had, but you don't really want to put in the effort to learning it because you take no pleasure from the process? A skill that, if it were possible, you'd simply have it installed in your brain?

Regretful breeders are like that, only it is an entire relationship they want automatically without the drudgery, not fluency in Mandarin or knowledge of plumbing.

I'd rather regret NOT having kids, which I don't at all, than regret having them. This should be the default for most people, but they are too stupid to realize that.

ETA: I have had breeders admit to me that they hate being parents, yet they'll turn around and bingo me a couple of minutes later. Such hypocrites!

I've never understood the (many) parents who will say, "I love my children, but I regret having them." That makes no fucking sense. How exactly can you love something you regret? Those are two feelings that do not go hand in hand. You can't love something that you wish never happened. You just can't.

I think they say this to save face so nobody thinks they're complete monsters. This is why a bizzy Mawm will write a 5,000-word post on a mommy board about how she hates every single aspect of motherhood and then caps off her novella with, "Oh, but it was all worth it." Well obviously it WASN'T if you just went on and on about how much you wish your kids had never been born and how they've ruined your life, finances and body. But they have to tell themselves something to deny their misery because if they sit down and let the truth of their life consume them, they'll probably commit murder-suicide.

There is no shortage of tales of parental regret online, either on message boards or in the media, yet every single retard out there sticks their fingers in their ears and assumes that those terrible things won't happen to them when they have kids. Their lives will be different. Their kids will sleep through the night. Their marriage will still be happy and intact. Their sex lives will continue to be great. They won't be broke. Because those bad things only happen to other people, but it won't happen to them.

Makes me wonder... if there was a law in place that gave people the ability to kill/abandon their kids during the first six months of said child's life without any legal repercussion, just how sharply would the infant mortality rate increase?

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Would Morgane advise women to tell their children if they regretted having them? “I feel that telling them would be the best option. It’s not because you don’t love them. Children can get on your nerves and they really just think about themselves. I never felt unwanted by my mum. At all.”

Because that won't mess with the kids' heads at all. It's fine to tell your kids how fucking annoying and difficult it is to raise children so maybe they put more thought into breeding than their parents did. But I imagine outright telling your own children that you wish they'd never been born will fuck them up mentally. It's not the kids' faults they were born, so don't blame them for your shitty decisions. Telling your kid, "I regret ever having you" is going to make them feel awful.

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How can anyone know whether they’ll be a good parent, whether they’ll love it or hate it, or both? All the mothers I talked to had planned their pregnancies, and yet every one of them was full of regret – a feeling they had never anticipated.

We need to stop shoving it down everyone's throats that having kids is "just what you do when you grow up," that you're not a real or complete adult until you breed and that parenthood is the most wonderful and fulfilling thing you can ever do in life. Tell it like it is for fucking once: being a parent SUCKS and it will not be any different for you than it was for your best friend who shat a loaf and now drinks herself to sleep every night because she hates her kid.

The references in that article are good.

I read the ratings for the book of the DE author,
there are so many women who agree with her.
"Reality of parenthood is isolation, poverty, depression..."

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I'd rather regret NOT having kids, which I don't at all, than regret having them.

The same for me.

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There is no shortage of tales of parental regret online, either on message boards or in the media, yet every single retard out there sticks their fingers in their ears and assumes that those terrible things won't happen to them when they have kids. Their lives will be different. Their kids will sleep through the night. Their marriage will still be happy and intact. Their sex lives will continue to be great. They won't be broke. Because those bad things only happen to other people, but it won't happen to them.

We need to stop shoving it down everyone's throats that having kids is "just what you do when you grow up," that you're not a real or complete adult until you breed and that parenthood is the most wonderful and fulfilling thing you can ever do in life. Tell it like it is for fucking once: being a parent SUCKS and it will not be any different for you than it was for your best friend who shat a loaf and now drinks herself to sleep every night because she hates her kid.

So much truth in that. I am glad that I am here on this board.