Question asked on a Catholic forum; "Why do people want kids?"

"This may seem like a crazy question, but I have to ask anyway. Why do people want kids?

I was thinking about this other day and for whatever reason, I just don't get it. For the record, I don't really value personal relationships and don't feel like I need them so I'm sure that's not helping me understand. I was reading some information that said that the cost to raise children and put them through college will cost around $400,000 per child and it's only going to go up. Do some people have kids because they want to get married and birth control is against church teaching? What advantage do kids bring to the parents' life that help offset the immense burden (financial/emotional/etc) that raising kids requires?"


Some replies:
1)"I have always wanted children. There is nothing in life that compares and there is no amount of money that could measure up to a child. Children are gifts from God. Think of the best material thing you have ever recieved and then know that there isn't enough of that thing to measure up to one child...relationships, especially that between husband and wife are sacramental and how children are brought about by that love. It is amazing once you begin to understand. Each and every life is created for the salvation of the entire world for all of time...."

2)"People have children because they love children. Parents are co-creators with God. Children are the natural expression of love between spouses. Only secular society views children as "immense financial burdens". I really encourage you to get some counseling if you are unable to emotionally engage with others."

3)To have a child is so many things. You watch yourself love in ways you never thought possible. The selfless acts that go with caring for a child you never thought you were capable of suddenly become part of your daily routine. To watch a child play or interact with you is to watch the definition of innocence come to life. To watch a child pray and be a witness to those sweet words they speak to God...is beyond description.... To smell a newborn child is to catch a scent of Heaven. Being a parent is the closest I will ever come to understanding my Father's love for me...and that is just the smallest fraction of unconditional love.
How blessed am I to have four of those "gifts" living and breathing in my house. You cannot put a price tag on it. God always provides...sometimes in ways least expected......'

4)"I have 3 boys and I could never imagine life without them! To teach, to love, to nurture, to open the world up to these young lives is.......incredible! There is NOTHING in the world that is so incredibly rewarding as raising kids. NOTHING! There is absolutely NOTHING else I could ever want that would be greater than sharing my life with these 3 young souls! To see them is to see God's face."

5)"It's all so exciting. The first step, the first word, the first smile, those little arms around your neck when they hug you and kiss your cheek, the love you feel for them in totally undescribable and I have never loved another living soul the way I love my son. My son also looked just like me so that was so cool too......
The next morning my mother-in-law was the first one to the hospital. She was in my room holding my son who wasn't even 24 hours old and the minute I spoke, he jerked his head around and looked at me as if to say, "Hey, I know that voice!" She said, "Wow Mommy, he knows you!"


6)"Why do I get the feeling your parents are asking themsleves the same question..."

7)"Just wondering, but with the way you describe yourself, have you been diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder such as Asperger's syndrome?"

8)"Your child is your second self. Your child receives his being from you. He or she is your own beating heart, out walking around in the world. Having a child is a thrilling, terrifying adventure. You die inside every time something bad happens to them, and you just about burst with joy any time something good happens to them....But it's worth it, in the end."

9)"...Parents I know would die for their child, kill for that child's safety or anything else they have to do to ensure their safety and happiness. I know it would be an extreme occasion for those things to happen but trust me, we would! It really defies explanation until you experience it."

10)"Why did we want kids? Because we want a family. A husband and wife aren't really a family without kids..."

11) I knew when I was around 14 yrs old that I wanted to have kids and as early as possible so that I could enjoy grandchildren at a younger age than my parents were when they got to that point. For me, it was the only concrete direction in my life. I wanted children for my own selfish reasons, so I could beget life with a spouse and share my love with my children as they would share their love with me and my spouse. And then that love would perpetuate throughout our lives with grandchildren... Children are the absolute expression of human love...
To love your spouse and produce another person with some of you in them is just the most incredible miracle ever!"

12)Why it is important to have children:
To be a good parent, you have to let go of some of the "life is all about me" viewpoint. Being a parent requires a healthy dose of selflessness. This is beneficial from an eternal view.
Before kids, you could be spontaneous. You could go to movies, dinners, walk around the house in undies and socks, drink out of the jug, etc. You (and spouse) could do pretty much anything you wanted, when and where you wanted.

After kids, there is a distinct and necessary shift. You may "want" to go see the rated R movie at the 9:30 showtime, but who will be with the kids? Who will nurse the baby? Besides, you can't afford that theater anymore anyway...This is a good thing...for your soul.
This doesn't answer why we want kids, only why we should have them or how they improve us..."

13) No niece, nephew, grandchild, friend's child will ever ever hug you or smile at you or enjoy you the way your own does....So the den looks like the toy department at Walmart. So you are endlessly sweeping cheerios off the floor. So you keep finding doll clothes on your dog and Barbie bathing in the dog's water bowl. This, too, shall pass. They inspire love. They inspire us to see beyond ourselves..."

14)I have five and hope that the sixth is on the way soon.
Having children has been the most wonderful experience of my life.
Why, you ask. Because it has been healing for me. To look into the eyes of my own flesh and blood and know that no matter what the world has for me this one loves me.
It is no less than a God given miracle to watch them grow and learn."

15)"...another reason why we need more children... who is going to care for us as we get older if not for our Children?"

Reading such breeder BS makes me REALLY glad I'm not a Catholic anymore. Christ on a pogo stick!d Especially the shit about "not being a family unless you have kids." Who Says? My DH and I have been married 19 years, and we're as much a family as anyone else's.

I should post my own answer (which would probably get deleted): Have kyds because the wealthiest organization in the whole damn world wants more members and, therefore, more money. What YOU want has nothing to do with it!:yeah

Those breeders are SO intoxicated on such pretty fairy tales spoon-fed by silly Christianity!

So - how come parunts who abuse and even murder their own offspring DON'T share that misty view?

"As far as not living for the self, regular Christianity calls for that in general, and you don't have to crap out kids to take part in that."

Yes, what about all the Catholic saints who never married or sprogged, choosing instead to devote themselves to helping others? Do these women think their "work" as mothers is more selfless than everything Francis of Assisi did? I doubt that any moo would cheerfully choose to live in poverty in order to tend to poor people and lepers. I also doubt that St. Francis, the patron saint of animals and the environment, would drive a gas-guzzling SUV or have a dog or cat put down because it scratched a brat in self-defense.

And who cares if a childfree couple "go to movies, dinners, walk around the house in undies and socks, drink out of the jug, etc."? How does that hurt anyone? That couple might very well do more for other people than a breeder couple would. In fact, it's highly likely that they would, since they probably would have more free time and disposable income than the breeders would. They can make a real difference if they choose to, unlike breeders who spend all their time and money on Bratson and Twatleigh.

There's Kool-Aid in them there communion cups.

Children are the natural expression of love between spouses.

My making a nice dinner for DH and I is a natural expression of love between spouses. So is his working hard all day. And my doing the laundry. And his cutting the grass. And my mopping the floor. And his fixing the saw. And mutual snuggling. And so it goes. We don't need kids to tell us what we already know.

"Have kyds because the wealthiest organization in the whole damn world wants more members and, therefore, more money. What YOU want has nothing to do with it!"

Roger that. Those people are brainwashed.

Just sign me, ex-Catholic and staying that way.

6)"Why do I get the feeling your parents are asking themsleves the same question..."


This statement pisses me off. Some people just don't have maternal or paternal instincts or desires. THAT DOES NOT MAKE THEM BAD PEOPLE!!!
I was a good kid and an easy teenager. I don't think my parents ever spent a night up worrying about me, other than if I was sick. I've never had a burning desire to be a mommmy, that doesn't make me a potential serial killer.


1)"I have always wanted children. There is nothing in life that compares and there is no amount of money that could measure up to a child. Children are gifts from God. Think of the best material thing you have ever recieved and then know that there isn't enough of that thing to measure up to one child...."

Hmmmm 50 inch plasma TV, or a screaming, whinning child. There IS enough of that thing to measure up to a child!

12)
To be a good parent, you have to let go of some of the "life is all about me" viewpoint. Being a parent requires a healthy dose of selflessness. This is beneficial from an eternal view.
Before kids, you could be spontaneous. You could go to movies, dinners, walk around the house in undies and socks, drink out of the jug, etc. You (and spouse) could do pretty much anything you wanted, when and where you wanted.

What do you bet this poster wishes he/she could still be spontaneous? Well, guess what breeder? I can be!!! Woooo Hooooo!!!

My husband is a former Catholic. They are all about controling the population with rules, restrictions and misery. They just want Catholickers to make more little Catholickers so they can get more money! Screw them.

It sounds like only the emotionally empty, needy religious freaks want children.

That's usually the reason people "find GAWD" - they are empty shells and need something to make them whole.

The obvious step after finding that pesky rascal, is to listen to his inane blither about reproducing and how they are gifts from him.

Again: GAWD, think "GIFT CARD."

And what the fuck is this shit? "Children are the natural expression of love between spouses." Sorry hon, I can think of *MUCH* better expressions of love between spouses than a shit loaf.

Number 6 and number 10 are my personal favorites. The rest of them are the typical fundie-breeder regurgitated response. No actual logic or reason involved, just parroting. In fact, I'm sure they all have a form letter that gets passed around at mass with ready-to-spew answers to questions such as these.

Number 6: Yeah, anyone who doesn't want to be a parent is automatically a 'bad' person, and anyone who questions whether or not they really want to be a parent is probably a psycho who should be avoided at all costs. Thanks for the utterly bullshit generalization.

Number 10: My husband and I are a fine family, thank you very much. Adding a bunch of children into our lives would cramp our style, and that's an understatement. How sad that this person has such a limited definition of 'family'.

There were so many BINGOS in that bullshit that I could have filled 10 cards!!! LOL

"Only secular society views children as "immense financial burdens". I really encourage you to get some counseling if you are unable to emotionally engage with others."

Excuse me stupid whoever come up with this crappy comment. I don't need counselling because I don't need a kid got it. I think you need counselling because you want to waste your life on sprogging. How dare you insult me with this BS.

Counselling my backside. People like to breed need serious counselling.

Why don't they write what they REALLY want to say and stop shitting around?

"Look, little Miss Priss. What makes you think you're too good for birthin'? God and your Husband (who are both naturally superior to you) want you on your back squeezing out little miracles from your 18th birthday straight through til your 48th. How can you say no when yer hubby looooooves you? And Jesus loooooves you too? And your babies will looooove you? You wouldn't turn your haughty little nose up at all that looooove, would you? Oh and by the way. If you don't comply, God will hate you and you will burn in Hell. One more thing. Do the birthin' bit without too much sinnin', 'k? Cuz we don't like no sinnin'. Do it without any sinnin' at all, and we'll make ya famous."

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

Was this question on that crappy catholic Answers" forum? Because that is about what I expect from them.

Whether or not these asshats like it or not, we still have the right to decline to "emotionally engage" with loaves and kyds. My ex used to pull that shit all the time. I could (at least in the beginning ) engage emotionally just fine, just not her crappy bratty kyd.

I like how number 11 actually admits to having children to fulfill her own selfish desires (but not without the obligatory "But it's worrrrrrth it"-esque tripe).

Never heard anyone ASSume that someone who questioned the desire to spawn is autistic. So does that mean all the autistic/Indigo/Crystal/retarded kids that are alive right now are destined to potentially be CF? Hmmm...

Take the jebus out of it and all it boils down to is "I had a child because I wanted to". There is no thought, no reasoning, nothing.
Ask any parent of any stripe, religious or not, and you'll get the same basic line of selfishness "I wanted, I got". I've yet to hear or read one single parent say "I had a child because I wanted to do the work to raise that person to be a productive member of society". None. Zip. Zilch. They refuse to think about the work that goes into it, they refuse to think about how to achieve a positive result, nor do they think about how to avoid a negative result, and to be honest, I highly doubt they care. They don't care about raising a kid who can't deal with anything, they don't care about the consequences to society in general, all the care about is making sure things are as easy as they possibly can be for themselves only.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me