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TikTok - brats are luxuries

Posted by freya 
TikTok - brats are luxuries
June 21, 2023
Some quotes and observations from the TikTok crowd. Though they are immature and naive, at least they are thinking about it and some are actually doing the math. Unfortunately, they've also falling into the common trap of whining about something that never actually happened and proving their ignorance for recorded history. Start with The Feminine Mystique which is available online for free, even though it gets weird in places it does a decent job of illustrating how moohood was regarded around the mid-century. There is a tendency to romanticize the mid-century as some sort of golden era for parunting (and everything else) and one of the things this book is most effective at is destroying that romanticization with reality.

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She opens the video by stating that it's "crazy" how having babies have turned into a luxury. And goes on to explain that nowadays when someone announces that they're having a child, people don't respond with celebration and excitement like they used to.

Not sure when this "used to" occurred. Was this before or after the child labor laws being passed in 1938? Decades passed after the child labor laws were enacted before society started regarding children as people who were equal to adults. Lots of people still think children aren't equal to adults and lots of nuts think children are more valuable than adults. For a long time brats weren't celebrated and were expected to be farm hands, etc, so their families could survive, even with child labor laws enforced. Families who couldn't afford brats could either not baptize them (not considered children until baptized, so if they somehow died it wasn't suspicious) or drown them in a river, it was either that or the entire family would starve.

When I was a kid it was perfectly acceptable for young/older kids to bratsit as there were no laws to stop it happening. There were also kids who did all the housework and some I knew even earned the sole income in their families or worked to provide health insurance for their families. If parunts love their brats, celebrate their existence why have they consistently (over centuries) done everything they could to squeeze free labor out of them? I've never heard a grown adult claiming they love their significant other and celebrate their existence as they try to work them to death without pay. It definitely isn't first date stuff or a dream proposal to brag to your girlfriends about or post on social media. That isn't to say it isn't done, but I doubt very many people would manage to seduce/win over another adult by working them to death as free labor. Everyone knows that this is what some people sneak in after sluicing, turn their significant other into free labor that they work to death.

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It was clear that Veronica wasn't alone in her belief that having a child is a luxury, as evidenced by a commenter who wrote, "I can only afford a 1bed/1bath apartment on a 6 figure salary lol. How am I gonna buy a house? AND have a kid?"

Perhaps this will be enough for her to evaluate whether or not brats are for her. At least she has done the math, which is way more than most breeders do. They do the deed, the math comes after the sticker shock and then they become regretful. Also, the cost of bratcare for one in 2002 in my area was $24K, which is every bit as expensive as it is now when accounting for inflation. So, what has changed since 2002? Because that was over 20 years ago. I've heard lots of people whining about how their bratcare costs $10K or $24K annually today.

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Ultimately, the cost of raising a child can vary widely depending on factors such as location, income level, and parents' lifestyle. But as highlighted by Veronica and agreed upon by many viewers, it's undeniable that it's now harder than ever before to afford the joy of bringing a baby into this world.

There is significant argument about when exactly this joy existed and who felt it. Women who experience PPD and permanent health issues may disagree. Also, parunts whose spouse abandons them. It certainly wasn't felt by over 20K people who are regretful parents, most people that have brats that are special needs, many single parunts, etc. There are even people who plan them, can afford them, have two parents and healthy brats and still regret them after the fact. Brutal honesty or a truth serum would likely cause this number of regretful parunts to skyrocket. There are legitimate reasons why parunting is one of those things many people have to be fooled/conned/connived/scammed/shamed/threatened into.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/parenting/you-can-t-afford-that-child-woman-says-only-the-rich-and-unemployed-people-with-gucci-bags-have-planned-children/ar-AA17L0ML?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=f892d851711a4d17868e66a6d0048ce3&ei=261
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 17, 2023
I don't think of pahrunting as a luxury at all. More of a lifestyle choice. An expensive, unnecessary lifestyle choice. I realize unwanted pregnancy is a thing and now with restricted abortion laws in the States, I'd consider that more of an unfortunate circumstance.

I just don't see being a parent as a luxury in any way, shape, or form. It just looks like misery to me no matter what way you spin it.
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 18, 2023
Raising a child has all the costs of a luxury with none of the enjoyment.

Having kids is more like having exotic pets. Super expensive, lots of work, not for everybody, and even if you are woefully unprepared for them, nobody can stop you from obtaining one. The difference is if you decide you're done with the exotic pet, you can throw it outside and nobody will bat an eye. Not saying this is acceptable because it's not - it's absolutely animal cruelty to throw a domesticated snake or rabbit outside to fend for itself. But just saying people do it a lot because they're "just animals." Only exotic pets can actually be enjoyable if you know what you're getting into and provide for them properly. Plus, exotic animals often can be kept in enclosures/habitats where they will be content. If all a kid needed was a flat rock and a nice heat lamp in a big tank, they wouldn't be nearly as horrible.

But if you decide you don't want a kid anymore, you're kinda fucked. I imagine it's not easy to terminate your parental rights and I don't know if you need consent from the other parent if they aren't on board with it. Safe Havens only allow abandonment of kids up to 30-60 days old, depending on the state (though the thought of someone trying to cram a toddler into a drop off box provides an amusing visual). If you leave your partner, you're still on the hook for child support.
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 18, 2023
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mumofsixbirds
I don't think of pahrunting as a luxury at all. More of a lifestyle choice. An expensive, unnecessary lifestyle choice. I realize unwanted pregnancy is a thing and now with restricted abortion laws in the States, I'd consider that more of an unfortunate circumstance.

I just don't see being a parent as a luxury in any way, shape, or form. It just looks like misery to me no matter what way you spin it.

With safe haven laws, women who were forced to birth it can leave it at the hospital and just walk away. If I was knocked up in a red state and couldn't travel for an abortion, that's what I would do, family and the sperm donor be damned. I'd abandon it immediately.

It is misery. That's why they have their own online communities where they can commiserate on how thankless and worthless raising kids is.

Glad it won't ever be me.
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 18, 2023
I'm sure Repubs are trying to reverse safe haven laws.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 19, 2023
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Peace
With safe haven laws, women who were forced to birth it can leave it at the hospital and just walk away. If I was knocked up in a red state and couldn't travel for an abortion, that's what I would do, family and the sperm donor be damned. I'd abandon it immediately.

It is misery. That's why they have their own online communities where they can commiserate on how thankless and worthless raising kids is.

Glad it won't ever be me.

I don't know if this is true or not, but I recall reading something about how when a woman abandons a loaf at a Safe Haven, the authorities may reach out to contact her to ensure she wasn't forced into giving it up against her will. Because if that is true (and they don't just want to shame/charge the woman for abandonment), surely sending the child back home to people who don't want it will end well.

Could the same be done in the opposite direction, where the woman dumps the kid at the fire station or hospital or wherever and the father and/or family tries to haul it back home? Do they get "rights" to the loaf if the woman already abandoned it? I mean we live in a country where rapists can fight for visitation of the children they helped conceive via sexual assault, I'm sure it wouldn't be so far-fetched for a woman to think she left an infant at a safe haven only for a relative to pop up years later and go, "oh by the way here's the baby you threw away" and start demanding back child support.
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 19, 2023
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Cambion
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Peace
With safe haven laws, women who were forced to birth it can leave it at the hospital and just walk away. If I was knocked up in a red state and couldn't travel for an abortion, that's what I would do, family and the sperm donor be damned. I'd abandon it immediately.

It is misery. That's why they have their own online communities where they can commiserate on how thankless and worthless raising kids is.

Glad it won't ever be me.

I don't know if this is true or not, but I recall reading something about how when a woman abandons a loaf at a Safe Haven, the authorities may reach out to contact her to ensure she wasn't forced into giving it up against her will. Because if that is true (and they don't just want to shame/charge the woman for abandonment), surely sending the child back home to people who don't want it will end well.

Could the same be done in the opposite direction, where the woman dumps the kid at the fire station or hospital or wherever and the father and/or family tries to haul it back home? Do they get "rights" to the loaf if the woman already abandoned it? I mean we live in a country where rapists can fight for visitation of the children they helped conceive via sexual assault, I'm sure it wouldn't be so far-fetched for a woman to think she left an infant at a safe haven only for a relative to pop up years later and go, "oh by the way here's the baby you threw away" and start demanding back child support.

You made some good points. However, I would expect that a woman abandoning the kid to the police or fire station won't be giving her name or any identifying information, so tracing the kid back to its father will damn nearly impossible.

Even in my blue state, there have been attempts to publicly shame women for abandoning their babies at legal safe houses. The last one I remember in the media, the woman abandoned the baby at a local hospital designed as a safe house. Because she followed the law to the letter, authorities couldn't charge her with anything and they were prohibited from following up on the identity of hte woman. Still, there was video footage of her walking in and leaving the infant with the security guard at the front desk in a baby carrier. She was smart enough to wear a hat and full mask so she couldn't be identified.

The $100k question is, how the hell did local media get access to the camera video? I bet some forced birther asshole who worked there saw the video feed, made a copy and sent it to the newspapers, hoping to get this woman arrested for not keeping an unwanted, unloved baby that she was forced to birth. Forced birthers always scream ADOPTION!!!! Yet when a woman does exactly that, they try to have her named, shamed and possibly hauled to the police station for not keeping the unhappy accident. ranting
Re: TikTok - brats are luxuries
July 19, 2023
There have been situations where kidnapped brats have been dumped. It behooves the safe house to insure the brat isn't wanted.

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Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!
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