Breeders: how to indoctrinate them early

Start with teaching the loaves a work ethic before they can walk!

When they're old enough to grasp objects, make this inpig barbie the first thing they reach for!

Hilarious how the baby in the second one comes out of this huge hole in the stomach, and the doll is smiling. Way to lie to kids about how it really is

If one could stick a handle in that outfit then the kid would become useful

Oh hell, kids have been getting brainwashed super young for a long time. I remember as a kid, I had a little plastic toy refrigerator from Little Tikes. Also a plastic yellow ironing board with a matching toy iron from the same brand. Because as we all know, women's only purpose is to be housemaids, so gotta teach 'em their place early! I bet nobody bought those toy kitchen appliances for their sons.

Same thing with baby dolls. Any time you see commercials for toy baby dolls, it's always little girls playing with them. Never little boys. Gotta teach those gender roles early so they can be nice and ingrained. Can't be having your kids straying from the path of normal!

At the very least, the loaf mop makes the loaf actually useful. But it's too slow. Maybe they could make the suit to accommodate a handle and the loaf could be attached to the end like a Swiffer wipe. Because as useful as it might be for Junior to be pulling his weight a few weeks in, it'll take forever. Strap him to a stick and then mop like usual. I'm guessing it's probably more of a gag gift anyway.

I think I'll just buy a Roomba and skip the floor-mopping loaf.