Matchmaker tells guy to consider single moos

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/matchmaker-reviewed-39-olds-hinge-160224630.html

This guy is trying to find someone at 39. He is into StarWars and has tats. He was advised to photoshop out the tats for the dating pic and was told to consider single moos. He said his deal breakers are older women and single moos. The matchmaker told him to consider the moms with kids as it is hard to find someone without them at his age. Also, why hide the tats, he has them so the person will see them on the first date.

No one points out the living hell the kids of these moos may put him through if he listens, even false accusations of sexual abuse if the kiddies want mommy to dump him. I think the guy is smart and needs to stick with his dealbreakers.

The thing about dealbreakers is you are better off alone than compromising on them, even if your dealbreakers are something stupid like "favorite ice cream flavor must be coconut".

There's certainly no point in covering up tattoos but I think the person was just suggesting avoid photos that focus on them? Kind of like she suggested that he get rid of the photo of him in the Star Wars costume. That actually seems like useful advice, because it's okay to like these things but you definitely broaden your appeal if you don't suggest they are the most important things to you. If your dealbreaker is "she must love Star Wars," it makes sense to have that as a photo. If, on the other hand, you are only looking for "she doesn't care that I love Star Wars" it makes sense not to place emphasis on Star Wars.

Single moos are clearly not in the coconut ice cream category. It has a huge effect on their life, and it really isn't the kind of thing someone should compromise on. As for not wanting women older than 40, I don't know his reasons, and he is entitled to his dealbreakers, but it makes me think he's a wannabreed. The reason I think that is if his criteria was actually "I don't want anyone who looks old" he could set his filters more broadly and just not swipe on anyone he finds unattractive. But when you specifically say you want a woman under 40 it suggests either an unappealing sexist mentality (older women are worthless) or it implies you are a loser looking for a young woman to breed.

The matchmaker (which I didn't know was even still a job title) must be pretty retarded if they outright tell someone to just go and date people who have dealbreaking qualities anyway. How exactly do they expect the guy to find a compatible partner when they tell him to pursue someone he will absolutely not be compatible with? She calls herself a dating expert - she might want to rethink her job title. Telling someone to consider dating a single Moo when he explicitly says he won't date them is like telling a gay person to just date a straight person. Lady what part of "dealbreaker" is unclear??

There are more CF women now than ever before, it's not like they're an endangered species and there is no issue whatsoever in seeking one out. Not sure why the guy doesn't want to date a woman more than a year older than him, but it's not the worst relationship requirement. I mean if he's worried about dating someone who looks older than him, childless and childfree women can look anywhere from five to 20 years younger than their actual age because they don't have any brat-induced aging/wrinkles.

Also no, do not remove the tattoos and don't not use the costumed photo. Hiding who you really are to snag a date is lying by omission. What if a woman doesn't want a guy covered in ink who's a Star Wars nerd because she thinks it's a sign of immaturity? Or she doesn't want to date someone who is super zealous about his "childish" hobbies? I bet she'd feel pretty jilted meeting this guy thinking he wasn't a nerd. Meanwhile, what about women who are more on the geeky side who would absolutely love a guy covered in tats whose into Star Wars who would pass this guy up because he looks boring in his profile?

There is no reason whatsoever to date a single parent if you yourself are not also a single parent or for whatever reason are looking to become a step-parent. It's far better to be alone than with someone who will make your life hell. No sex is good enough to tolerate someone's brat you don't want around in the first place.

So, he is 39 and refuses to date a woman who is 40 or older? With his Star Wars fandom he reminds me of one of those older guys who goes after the really young ones who either LARP or go to Comic-Con type events. For years, he was probably able to find plenty of younger women to date but at a certain age a 20–25-year-old woman who likes Comic-Con will date men around her age or a little bit older. And I highly doubt there are very many younger women out there who would appreciate his Star Wars thing, they're too young for it. Those younger women will consider a 39-year-old guy too old and creepy unless he is wealthy or ultra hot.

Bet he likes his women in pigtails and knee socks. Ughhh.

I don't think he should date women with kids unless he wants to do so. But, eliminating all women who are older than him is going to seriously narrow down his prospects. Choosing to post a photo of a tattoo in a dating profile is kind of weird just like adding a photo where he is dressed up in a Star Wars costume is weird. But he should definitely make it obvious in his profile that he is a nerd.

Then again, I've been given shit by ex-boyfriends for not having tattoos, or liking a certain kind of music, or not looking/dressing a certain way. People can be very superficial about trivial crap and I've had men stop dating me because I wasn't following them around acting like the female version of their mini-me and dared to have my own opinions about things. I've known lots of couples where one person is the decision maker and the other one just falls inline. No thanks.

Dealing with someone else's brats is not trivial in any sense.

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Cambion
Also no, do not remove the tattoos and don't not use the costumed photo. Hiding who you really are to snag a date is lying by omission. What if a woman doesn't want a guy covered in ink who's a Star Wars nerd because she thinks it's a sign of immaturity? Or she doesn't want to date someone who is super zealous about his "childish" hobbies? I bet she'd feel pretty jilted meeting this guy thinking he wasn't a nerd. Meanwhile, what about women who are more on the geeky side who would absolutely love a guy covered in tats whose into Star Wars who would pass this guy up because he looks boring in his profile?

Speaking as someone who is a bit of a nerd...middle-aged guys seriously into some type of fandom are a dime a dozen. And those are just the ones I see because they swiped right on my profile. There are probably many, many more, who, like this guy, would discount me because of my age. So I don't think he's going to meet the Star Wars fan of his dreams - she already has a choice of like 100 guys who are into Star Wars, in addition to about 900 who aren't. That's why I think he needs to widen his net to include women who don't care that he is into Star Wars, which he can do by mentioning it among his likes in his bio. No bait and switch, just toning it down a little.

It's okay to showcase an interest if it is somewhat original, but when it is really common it actually detracts and gives the impression that you don't have a personality but are just part of a herd. That's why everyone rags on gym bro photos - a shirtless flexing guy might be hot, but abs are not personality, and you've got to offer more than 5 pictures of you in the gym if you're looking for a relationship rather than a hookup.