Help! I Forced My Husband to Have Kids. It Was a Terrible Mistake.

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dumb moo
Q. I pressured my husband to have kids and now I am being cut out: When I first met my husband, he made it clear that he never wanted children. I know it was wrong of me, but I wore him down: Seven years ago he became a very reluctant father, and we had another child three years later.

He hates being a parent, finds our children incredibly irritating, and resents me for it. He’s too good a man for them to be aware of his distaste and discomfit, but kids are like cats and the more distant and reserved he is toward them, the more eager they have grown for his attention. They worship him and barely acknowledge me, which pains both of us.

What a dumb moo. First, she somehow manipulates her husband into having a brat and he hates it. He told her from the start no brats. Then she has another one. Now, the kids can barely stand her and want to be around him only.

What a dumb duh. Why on earth would he have sex with this woman when she begged for seven years to have brats? Where is his vasectomy? And to not get a vasectomy after the first brat?

Maybe they could go to therapy and figure out exactly why they married each other, because any rational person would be at a loss to figure it out. Then they can divorce because he can't stand any of the three of them.

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/10/husband-hates-our-children-advice.html

There are men out there who think that a vasectomy means chopping off their balls, and they will be less manly if they get one. Also some men will trust their wives that much. It is like these people who want selfies with bison in Yellowstone. One would think they read of all the accounts of bison trying to kill selfie takers, but they seem to think it will not happen to them.

This is something I have never understood - why in the fucking fuck would you want to have children with someone who does not want or like them? That is a recipe for disaster and a guarantee that any children born of that particular union will grow up only half loved, if that.

Is it laziness? Do the wanna-breeders just not want to get off their asses and look for a compatible partner and start the whole relationship song and dance over again? Do they subscribe to the "s/he'll love it once it gets here/it's different when it's your own" school of thought? Or are they just retarded? I remember when I was still with my ex and how hard he pushed me to breed when I said in very clear, explicit English that I did not want kids ever, none, zero, nada, NO. What possible good could come out of making someone have kids they don't want? I want someone to explain this to me.

You should not have to wear someone down to have kids with them because that is going to cause resentment before the child is even born because you had to NAG NAG NAG to get your way. Of course I also question the sanity of the dumb fuck Duh in this situation who didn't leave or get snipped or say NO MORE BRATS after the first one.

Believe me, those kids will figure out Duh hates them. He may not come out and tell them to their faces that he wishes they were never born, but his aloof attitude toward them will make sense to them when they get older. I don't know what would be the less painful option for the kids at this point - for Duh to leave and have nothing at all to do with them, or for him to stay and resent their existence every single moment. Because obviously nobody fucking considered how it would affect these kids to create them when they were only half wanted, and now Moo is resentful of her husband because the kids adore him and hate her.

She has nobody to blame for this hot mess but herself. Instead of divorcing the guy to find another wanna-breeder or just being happy with her partner she presumably loved, she chose to coerce him into having kids he made it abundantly clear he did not want and now she has to deal with the consequences of her choices as she loses the affection of the husband she forced into breeding and the kids she forced into existence. I feel bad for the kids because when they find out the father they idolized never wanted them, it's going to hurt so bad and it will be Moo's fault.

Everybody sucks here. Except for the kids, who asked for none of this

She sucks for disrespecting the guy's personal decision, wearing him down, and then fucking repeating the same stupid, arrogant mistake by having another kid with him. She also sucks for thinking that any of this is a good idea, and not seeing the procreation issue for what it was: fundamental incompatibility.

He sucks for giving in on the no-kids stance...not just once, but twice! He sucks for not getting a vasectomy as soon as he decided that kids aren't for him...or at the very least, after the first lil mistake arrived. And he sucks for being an emotionally distant dickwad with his kids. Kids aren't idiots and they know when someone doesn't wanna be around them. They'll figure out that Dad doesn't like them, if they haven't already. They may not have the language for it, or realize it on a conscious level, but they know what's up.

Both these idiots need to go get sterilized post haste. Him because he doesn't want kids, and her because A. She's already had some kids, and B., she's already shown poor procreation judgment.

Seriously, what is wrong with people?

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Or are they just retarded?

Pretty much sums it up. It's really cruel to do this to a kid.

This woman has a morality problem. Presumably if you love someone, why would you want them to be miserable? But a lot of people don't think like that. They want what they want, and fuck their spouse's feelings. There is a word for that and it is being a sociopath.

This woman is a sociopath. She admits she knows what she was doing was wrong.

Web MD, psychopath versus sociopath

Psychopaths have problems having empathy for others and have a hard time seeing how their behavior affects others.

Sociopaths know they are doing something wrong, but they do it anyway. Here's the text about the sociopath.

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If you have ASPD, or sociopathy, you probably know you're doing something wrong when you do something wrong. But you may have little empathy for others. That means it can be hard for you to see things from someone else's perspective or understand how they feel. So even though you may know something you're doing is harmful or unethical, that's not enough to stop you from doing it.

Did you notice in her letter that she's pissed off and jealous because she seems to think the kids love the dad more? Do you think she would have written this letter if they liked her more? I mean, really, she only seems upset because they are acting as if they like him more and she is remorseful she had them because of that.

This woman is a nightmare of a person and a trash human.

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He’s too good a man for them to be aware of his distaste and discomfit, but kids are like cats and the more distant and reserved he is toward them, the more eager they have grown for his attention. They worship him and barely acknowledge me, which pains both of us.

Uh, yeah, no. Does she really not see that she contradicts herself immediately? "He hides it from the kids" in the same sentence as "he's distant toward them." They strive for his attention, seeking crumbs of affection, which she then misinterprets as "worship." They don't need to compete for her attention; they already have that. They feel driven to have their father confirm that he cares about them, because they know damn well he doesn't.

Both of those parents are utter trash.

I can understand the guy distancing himself. His mootard C of a wife is paying the price..and so are the kids (but that didn't bother her now did it?? these brain dead asshat bimbos can't think beyond their gonads and twat) she did not CARE about the impact on her children. so as far as I am concerned, she can take her whining and boohooing and shove it up her stretched out you know what

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

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twocents
I can understand the guy distancing himself. His mootard C of a wife is paying the price..and so are the kids (but that didn't bother her now did it?? these brain dead asshat bimbos can't think beyond their gonads and twat) she did not CARE about the impact on her children. so as far as I am concerned, she can take her whining and boohooing and shove it up her stretched out you know what

I don't feel bad for him. Unless it was against his will, this was a choice that he made right alongside her, reluctant or not. You should never, ever, ever willingly have kids if you don't really want them.

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kittehpeoples

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twocents
I can understand the guy distancing himself. His mootard C of a wife is paying the price..and so are the kids (but that didn't bother her now did it?? these brain dead asshat bimbos can't think beyond their gonads and twat) she did not CARE about the impact on her children. so as far as I am concerned, she can take her whining and boohooing and shove it up her stretched out you know what

I don't feel bad for him. Unless it was against his will, this was a choice that he made right alongside her, reluctant or not. You should never, ever, ever willingly have kids if you don't really want them.

What she may not be mentioning is she could have reproductively coerced this guy.

+++++++++++++

Passive Aggressive
Master Of Anti-brat
Excuses!

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cfdavep
There are men out there who think that a vasectomy means chopping off their balls, and they will be less manly if they get one. Also some men will trust their wives that much. It is like these people who want selfies with bison in Yellowstone. One would think they read of all the accounts of bison trying to kill selfie takers, but they seem to think it will not happen to them.

There is such ignorance abounding. You're 100% correct with the men who think a vasectomy somehow emasculates them. If a man doesn't want kids and doesn't wrap it up he'd better be okay with being called daddy. You'd think a man who doesn't want kids would make huge efforts to obtain a vasectomy. It is typically easier for them to obtain a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal and is definitely less invasive.

Every year we hear about idiots who attempt selfies with bison in Yellowstone. They aren't teddy bears, people. Save your selfies for pets or animals in the zoo.

Once I spotted a bear about 500 ft. off a trail, so I told everyone who I saw nearby on the trail. ALL of those dumbasses moved closer to see the bear. I told them so they could keep their eye on the bear when nearby and in case they need to backtrack to give the bear enough personal space. Not so they could consider getting a selfie, a closer look or some other foolishness.

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Cambion
This is something I have never understood - why in the fucking fuck would you want to have children with someone who does not want or like them? That is a recipe for disaster and a guarantee that any children born of that particular union will grow up only half loved, if that.

She has nobody to blame for this hot mess but herself. Instead of divorcing the guy to find another wanna-breeder or just being happy with her partner she presumably loved, she chose to coerce him into having kids he made it abundantly clear he did not want and now she has to deal with the consequences of her choices as she loses the affection of the husband she forced into breeding and the kids she forced into existence. I feel bad for the kids because when they find out the father they idolized never wanted them, it's going to hurt so bad and it will be Moo's fault.

Me either, I won't date anyone who wants or has kids. It is dishonest and I've never dates anyone who wants kids, or at least revealed at that time he wanted kids. I did date a man who had kids when I was in my twenties and after that I stopped because there is no point.

It is really shitty to date someone who is purposely being deceitful. I'm always shocked out how dirty and low people will stoop to get what they think they want.

I don't care how much the moo thinks she cares for the kids. She cared more about what she wanted. The relationship between their parunts is messed up and the moo coerced her husband into have kids he doesn't want anything to do with. What a terrible relationship example to see for two kids.

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bell_flower

Pretty much sums it up. It's really cruel to do this to a kid.

This woman has a morality problem. Presumably if you love someone, why would you want them to be miserable? But a lot of people don't think like that. They want what they want, and fuck their spouse's feelings. There is a word for that and it is being a sociopath.

This woman is a sociopath. She admits she knows what she was doing was wrong.

This woman is a nightmare of a person and a trash human.

I never thought about this but it sounds very accurate. I had a friend (well, kind off as she was more of a frenemy than anything) who purposely became inpig at 19 with a man she had just started dating. I got the impression that she decided it was time and wanted a beefy football player type. I honestly don't know if there was more to it than that. She didn't seem the least bit upset about the inpig and when I asked her if she did it on purpose she refused to answer. That was enough for me. I didn't/don't want that kind of person in my life.

I also thought it was incredibly dumb for her to inpig when she was a freshman in college as she planned to go to physical therapy school at the time. She had worked hard in school and just threw it all away.

again hollywood portrays any person, male or female, who doesn't want to breed as a villain. and if the person saying 'no' is a woman they they are really vilified and crucified and portrayed as despicable evil women who won't give the baby rabid ogdickwerx what he wants.

the best example I remember (but there are numerous, but this one sticks in my head) was the series 'ellis island' where that dick coerced this woman into having a child. she really didn't care about the child but she went ahead. (mind the era difference).. the child died somehow and the goddam dick started in with trying to breed again...the wheedling and whining and dancing around like a damned peacock... and she told him 'no' and meant it this time. so of course he took up with the domesticated little woman he ran into. thoroughly the lifescript type of little girl. but she was portrayed as selfish, greedy.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.